Kool-Aid Man, A Dane Cook Comedy
There was a commercial on TV that used to terrify me when I was a kid.
It was those Kool-Aid commercials; Giant, talking bowl of fruit punch comes... crashing through your wall, unannounced, right?
No warning: just starts screaming... OH YEAH!!! OH YEAH!!! Right? And he would dance and he would break your coffee table. He would punch your armorer. OH YEAH!!!
And that really terrified me, But the kids in the commercial were all excited... they were excited, and happy.
If a 400 pound jug of juice came bashing into your house... screaming OH YEAH!! dancing... with tights on, I don't know why juice is wearing tights... His juice boxes hanging out, I don't, I don't even see that cool.
And these kids would drink out of him, after he had just busted through a wall, and debris fell in his open, idiot head... He would pour his fruity blood into glasses.
OH YEAH! OH YEAH! ...And they would drink his fruity, dirty blood out of his head! And be like "Thanks, Kool!"
No! If that was me, I'd be like, "No, no. I don't want to drink from you, I want you to fix this **** wall! Before my dad gets home from work... He's not gonna believe a **** insane bowl of fruit punch came in here. I'm gonna get beat with a toaster, I swear to God, bro! This is BS. Don't touch me! Please, I will kick you in the legs, you're very top heavy... and you will smash. You fix this wall! If you get thirsty, sip yourself, you glass son of a b****!”
OH YEAH!!!
"Oh no! That's your problem. Your slogan should be, 'oh no! What did I do to this beautiful home?' “
Reply
