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[RAFFLE] Fiona Watson/Sailor Denebola [CRIT/MARKPLZ] Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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Nuxaz

PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 9:48 pm


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IN THE NAME OF THE MOON! CONCEPT


Name: Fiona Watson

Nicknames: Fee

Age: 19

Birthday: August 11th

Sign: Leo

Gemstone: Peridot

Blood Type: AB+

Fav. Food: Chicken, Carrots, All Fruits

Hated Food: Red Meat

School: Sovereign Heights Preparatory

Hobbies:
  • I Caught Theses At This Place and These At... - Little Fiona has a special passion and that would be dragonflies. They are the one thing that truly fascinates her and she simply cannot get enough of. She finds herself attracted to the colorful insects and her favorite pastime is to go hunting for them. She has specific dragonfly-hunting approve outfits to insure that new/nice clothing doesn't get ruined for no reason. She keeps them in a case much like those at butterfly museums, where the dragonflies are dead but preserved and displayed in a glass case. Her collection is quite extensive already but don't try to touch them, she might get upset with you! She's caught many of the dragonflies species that can be found in Destiny City. She eventually wants to go out and travel the world in search of other species that cannot be found in Destiny City. Unfortunately, while she's preparing for school and fighting evil, she doesn't have the time to travel.

  • I Read That Before! - Fee is always reading something, often times it's a book relating to biology, insects and plants. Oh! And dragonflies, though she's pretty certain she's read everything the library has to offer on them. Fiona reads other books as well, such as sci fiction, but when she's just reading normal books she has the tendency to speed read through them and often does not remember much of story. Though it appears that Fiona doesn't seem to mind because she likes being able to boast that she's read book X and book Y even if she can't seem to recall any details. The reason for this is because she finds it hard to find a fictional book that keeps her interest for an extended period of time. She'll often pick up a book, start to read it, get bored and set it down and never finish it until someone starts to talk about it. Then she has to finish it so she can talk too, even if she doesn't really remember anything that happened.

  • You Just Got Served~ - Tennis is an activity that she picked up from her parents when she was eight. They took her to one of their matches and she found herself completely fascinated. She was amazed by the graceful way the players moved, the fact that they could chose to play alone or in pairs, and how cute the female outfits were. She had her parents enroll her in classes and she took to the sport quickly. She's not a superstar player by any means, she mostly plays recreational tennis as her way of exercising(it keeps her happy and energetic!). She will, however, play in the occasional tournament because she likes to be challenged. Unfortunately she has never been in first place but she hasn't been in last either and she takes that as a good sign. Her favorite part of playing tennis is getting ready. She'll spend hours preparing her outfits, making sure her tennis racket and make-up match colors along because she had to look her absolute best no matter what the occasion.

  • Use This Shade With This Color and This... - Fiona likes to play with make-up. A lot actually. She's spent hours upon hours toying with different combination of colors to see what shades she can come up with and how it'll match her outfit of the day. Lately she's been playing with more outrageous designs, like stuff you'd see from Cirque Du Soleil, more stage make-upy things and if you're willing to be a subject to her experiments she'd love you forever!(or at least until she was done)


  • I'm Not A Nerd! Okay...So I Am A Little... -- As much as she tries to deny it there are a few subjects that she is, well, a nerd about. Such things would be; Dragonflies and Biology. She's a smart girl and has an active interest in spending a lot of time reading books that pertain to her interests. She's not a typical nerd, she's not completely socially awkward but she does keep to herself engaging in activities that aren't exactly made for two people. Her talks about her collection, dragonflies, biology and other somewhat boring subjects sometimes have the habit of driving people away. She's usually respectful and interesting but once you get her going on one of her nerdy tangents, it's hard to get her to stop. It's not that she doesn't care that you aren't interested in her interests, she's just wants you to be interested so you have something to talk about. When you stop her she gets embarrassed, in some ways it's kinda cute. She hopes to continue schooling in the field of biology so that she can have a career in a field doing what she loves and spending more time learning about her interests.


Virtues:
  • You Can't Scare Me! -- While her appearance often makes people think that she's docile and helpless Fee is actually quite brave. She doesn't have (too) much of a problem standing up for herself and her friends and she usually doesn't hesitate to step up to the plate in the face of a scary situation. It's not that she's fearless, no in more than one situation she's been afraid but she sticks to the belief that all fears can be defeated. She's never faced anything that's left her petrified, not yet at least. Being a Senshi has awoken her to many more dangers and threats that leave her with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, she still continues to put on a brave front however, she refuses to let this new situation get the better of her.

  • Stop Bouncing Off the Walls! -- Fee's got more energy than a six-year-old who has had far too much sugar. She's up bright and early nearly everyday, even on weekends! Her energy definitely shines through when she's talking about something she's very passionate about, like dragonflies. Her dual-colored eyes will light up and her smile with get brighter. She has a hard time sitting still or remaining in one position for too long, she has to move about almost constantly. Often she will rearrange herself in her chair by sinking down, sitting up straighter, or even crossing her legs on the chair. Another habit she has when she feels the need to be doing something other than sitting still and paying attention she'll whip out one of her secret(okay, so they aren't really a secret) mirrors and make sure that she looks good. The best part of her energetic nature is that she always has the energy to keep going, like she isn't afraid to take on the world, when most people call it quits she's already on her way to face the next challenge. It's part of what allows her to take things head on without too much fear or worry, she feels as though if she has the energy she can do just about anything.

  • I've Got Brains AND Beauty! -- Fee isn't one to brag, not about being smart anyway, but she's got a good head on her shoulders. She isn't a genius by any means but she's smart, has good grades and is good for some quick thinking when needed. When out and about it's not just her 'beauty' but her brains that help her get out of sticky situations (like that time she managed to get one leg stuck in a log and the other knee deep in mud.) While she is generally smart naturally most of her 'smarts' comes from all the time she spends studying. She's constantly got her nose in a book and spends much of her time in the library striving to find out new information. She spends most of her time studying biology (focusing on Entomology, which is the study of insects) and the landscape that is Destiny City in hopes that it will help her learn more about the different environments in which insects (specifically Dragonflies) best thrive. As a result she knows the layout of Destiny City very well which allows her to maneuver about with the shortest distance possible. It's good knowledge for quick getaways and finding alternative routes when necessary. She also has a pretty good knowledge of plants and the effects they have so if you have a question if you should eat this plant (if you're suddenly stuck in a situation that calls for it) she's your girl to let you know if it is safe or not. She uses her experiences, the information she studies, and her ability to think on her feet to help her in her daily life and to turn a sticky situation in her favor.


Flaws:
  • Hey! You've Got to Look at This! Oooh and This, This and This! -- So you know there are those people that won't take no for an answer, the people that will pester you over and over again until you do what you want? Well Fiona just happens to be one of those people. She's pushy, headstrong and just doesn't get that, no you don't want to take a look at her dragonfly collection or that you aren't interested in hearing about her latest excursion. She simply assumes that you do want to and she'll continue to pester you until A)you give in or B)something else distracts her. When in her senshi and with another(friendly) senshi she'll pester them for a battle so she can get more experience and won't stop until they say yes.

  • Uuuuh What? Did I Miss Something? -- Unfortunately she is rather...absent-minded and can often be found zoning out during lectures or even simple conversations. It's easy for her to get lost in her thoughts, especially when she's trying to recall something, and when situations like that happen, well it's safe to say that she probably missed more than 75% of the conversation. She's not forgetful, she just doesn't pay attention and spaces out far too easily. You'll probably have to recap with her several times before she actually gets all of the conversation. If the conversation is turned in a direction relating to a topic that she's interested in she'll immediately tune in and perk up. It doesn't matter what the situation is, there's a probability that she'll get distracted or zone out which can prove to be a very dangerous thing.

  • Even Dirty I Look Better Than You! -- Simply put this redhead is the epitome of vain. She's very proud and confident about her appearance and doesn't give a damn about what others might say about it. She's one of those girls that has to get up early and spends hours getting ready for the day, her hair has to sit just right with her various headbands, some even have cute little bows, otherwise she has to start completely over. She even keeps a mirror on her at all times, usually in the multi-colored side-bags she owns. Even when she gets down and dirty, usually when she's hunting for dragonflies, she makes sure that she looks good doing so.

    Just because she doesn't care about what other people think about how she looks doesn't mean that she doesn't care about how she looks. In a way she's like Regina George from Mean Girls, she knows(thinks) she looks good but that doesn't stop her from trying to look even better than she did the day before. She feels like she doesn't follow trends, she sets them(I mean have you seen the way she dresses sometimes?) by throwing outfits together last minute that are often mismatchy but somehow manage to look good(to her, or at least decent to others). She'd rather create her own style than follow someone else.

    One of her favorite phrases is "I may be dirty but I still look better than you!". If she can't look good doing it, she won't do it at all.

    Unfortunately her vanity gets the better of her at times and if someone has the nerve to mess up her outfit well... She's not afraid to let you know just how mad you made her, which can be both a good and a bad thing. Especially in a battle because she'll either tick the other person off or end up more angry which can lead to irrational decisions.


Physical Description:
Hair: A light orange-red that flips out complimented by various colored headbands.

Eyes: Her eyes are heterochromia, her left eye being blue and the other green.

Face: Heart-shaped

Body: Slightly curvy accompanied with semi-large breasts.

Fashion:
Outside school -- Her favorite colors: green, light blue and pink. She always wears a colored headband that matches the primary color of her outfit of the day. She likes to wear skirts that sit on the waist but settle just above the knees and kinda poof out. Her tops are usually layered tanktops or short-sleeved t-shirts that are occasionally tucked into her skirt(or shorts if she's feeling them), she's often wearing a jacket over her outfit no matter how the weather. Whether she's wearing shorts or a skirt she's always wearing either spandex shorts underneath them or leggings that vary in colors(usually black or pink). As for shoes she likes to wear heels(not very often), her favorite pair of classic converse or her favorite pair of green rainboots. She has a bit of a strange sense of fashion.

Examples: one, two, boots, best example, jacket

Uniform -- Basic SHP uniform with a cute bow instead of a tie and black heels.
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 9:50 pm


User ImageSenshi: Sailor Denebola

Challenge:

Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Flight of the Dragonflies!

Sailor Denebola gets a speed boost in the series of a short dashes that allow her to double the force of a physical attack. The duration of this attack is one minute, or until she comes in contact with her opponent. This attack can be used twice per battle but is best to be used only once as it is very taxing and if used twice(especially if used twice in a row) can cause immobilization, or extreme vulnerability to damage.

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Swarm of the Dragonflies!

Nearly identical to her first attack Denebola can opt to use this ability on allies boosting the speed/force of their attack. She can use it on up to two allies but with a shorten time limit of 30 seconds. If used on one ally they get approximately a one minute time limit. Can be used up to three times, though recommended use is once, maybe twice but three times is highly dangerous and can result in fainting. She gets the same repercussions as her first attack: light-headedness, faintness and general exhaustion that leaves her very vulnerable.

Eternal Sailor Attack: Dance of the Dragonflies!


Denebola releases a swarm of about 20 energy dragonflies(approximately the same size as a normal dragonfly) from her hands that move towards her target at a fairly quick speed. The number of dragonflies can can be used to obscure vision as they move to bite the target. However if the target reacts quick enough the attack can be dodged and if the dragonflies come into contact with anything before they successfully reach their target they will evaporate (meaning if you have a weapon you can pretty much destroy them before they reach you). The attack lasts about 1-2 minutes and the dragonflies follow the intended target(they take about 5 seconds to change course however) until they either make a hit, they are destroyed or time is up. The pain effect created by the bites is like a paper-cut from hell that continues to sting for about a minute or so afterward.



Nuxaz


Nuxaz

PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 10:42 pm


Extra post
PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 10:54 pm


Okay! She's officially ready for some crits. Throw them at me ^^ I do need help coming up with some good attacks/attack names and a challenge. I'm open for suggestions!

Nuxaz


wuthering gee

Fanatical Loiterer

PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:03 pm


Hello there, dear! You already know that I love Fee, but I just have a couple things-

If she doesn't care what other people think about her appearance, why does she spend so much time trying to look good? What is her motivation for putting so much effort into her appearance- are her beauty standards the same old, same old? Or is her outlook on beauty a little quirky- fresh and uniquely hers?

Also, it might be a good idea to add a little something regarding her appearance obsession into her hobbies. It sounds like it sucks up a lot of her time.
PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:38 pm


Thanks Gee! Added a bit about her vanity into her hobbies and detailed that flaw a bit more ^^

Nuxaz


Dark_Musashi

PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 6:30 am


Gratuitous attack suggestions/questions of the day!

-hey, I like the speed boost power. Just how much faster does it make her, though?
-dragonflies do that funky posture for thermoregulation. Maybe you could turn that into a power that allows her to regulate her energy, making her more much more alert if she's tired and focused if she's excited, but she has to stand still until the buff is done being casted? What else could she "regulate" without it being an outright heal (there is nothing wrong with healing effects, but we're starting to see a lot of these)?
-these insects are also fierce and fast predators. Another idea: she could turn into a "homing missile" of sort, dashing very fast towards a visible target and dodging obstacles at high speed to hit it with a strong blow? Denebola shouldn't be able to use it than once or twice however, or it should drain a lot of energy. Dragonflies being airborne critters, she should be able to reach flying objects too - but careful with the landing!
-maybe a power that generally allows her to make a few, short leaps in any direction for a limited time, perfect for dodging. After all, dragonflies can fly in about any direction.
PostPosted: Thu May 06, 2010 6:08 pm


Toyed with some attack ideas, based off of what you Musashi and some other people gave me so I'd love feedback from that ^^

Also added in another hobby that can play with her vanity that I'd love feedback on :3

Thanks!

Nuxaz


Nuxaz

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 6:48 pm


Added in details for her eternal attack ^^
PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 7:34 pm


Okie dokie! I will do my best to provide an in-depth crit for you! Plus any ideas I might have for her attacks, seeing as they don't have names yet. I will do my best! biggrin


  • Her first hobby has a couple of run-on sentences, like, "The colorful insects simply attract her attention along with their wings, which are surprisingly very intricate(at least to her) and her favorite pastime is to go hunting for them, which she has very specific Dragonfly-hunting approved outfits." Just fix up a couple of sentences and it'll read much better. Also, why does she have special outfits? What makes them significant?

  • Why does she speed read through other books? surprised I'm interested to know! Does she find them less interesting, but still wants to say she read them?

  • I assumed the sport hobby was tennis and I'm glad I was right, but I was kinda confused at first. Maybe mention the fact that it's tennis a little sooner in the paragraph? I'm not a sports nut, so I got confused easily. XD Why does she like competing and dressing up? Why do I keep asking you all these questions? O_o

  • Her high-energy and nerd virtues have some run-on sentences, but otherwise looks good!

  • With her zoning out, will she zone out if the conversation or lecture is about one of her interests?

  • Nessy said this to me, and it was very helpful, so I say unto you! How do her virtues and flaws affect her as a senshi? Does her vanity get in the way of fighting the Negaverse? Do dragonflies distract her from the battle? Just something to think about!

  • I like her speed boost! She could ram into somebody with a great force at that kind of speed. Maybe you could call that Flight of the Dragonflies? How long does this speed effect last?

  • For her super attack, how many allies can she use it on? Again, how long does the attack last? Maybe call this one Swarm of the Dragonflies since it can apply to multiple targets?

  • For the Dance of the Dragonflies, is there a distance that the dragonflies can travel? Do they home in on the target and follow them until they hit something?



Okay, so most of my crit is me asking questions, but these popped into my head as I was reading. I hope it proved helpful! biggrin

Lucifer Force

Sparkling Senshi


Nuxaz

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 9:04 pm


Every little bit helps so I appreciate you taking the time to look her over ^^ I have the tendency to ramble so that's probably why there are a few run on sentences XD I'll definitely go through and try reword them :3

- Her having specific outfits for her dragonfly hunting is because she has to be able to move rather freely and have clothing that she doesn't mind getting possibly ruined. Plus she always has to have her rainboots for those watery areas :3

- As for tennis; I actually didn't realize that I hadn't really stated what it was. So I will definitely be sure to do that. She thinks that the tennis uniforms are the cutest and she likes how they fit her. As far as competing go it's mostly just for fun and because it makes her have to try harder than she would if it were purely recreational.

- For the zoning out she would probably snap back to reality if she heard stuff about something she's interested in.

- I definitely need to work on explaining on how it her flaws/virtues effect her senshiness.

- She can use it on two allies at the most but the time limit of the attack is divided between the two. I would say about a minute for her or one ally and 30 seconds for two allies. It's mainly a get in, attack and get out kind of move but the speed boost ends when she hits her opponent. And I really like the attack names so if you don't mind I think I'm going to use them ^^

- For her eternal attack, they follow the target but disappear after 2-3 minutes or until they hit something.


Edit: Haha! I just realized I didn't answer about her speed reading.

- It's actually a something I took from myself. I have the tendency to pick up a book to read because someone suggested it but once I started reading I wasn't too interested but still read it, quickly, so I could say that I read it and have a minor discussion about it. So basically she reads it because a)someone suggests it and b)to increase the number of books on her "Read" list.

Does that clear things up? Thanks for helping me clarify things ^^ *goes to make some edits*
PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 9:54 pm


Reworded some stuff, added more detail and adjusted her attacks. More crit would be appreciated ^^

Nuxaz


cibarium

Noob

PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2010 8:36 pm


Hey, I like the personality you have going with Denebola so far; however, her "Nerdy" trait really doesn't fit well as a virtue. Having an academic interest in certain things should usually add to your hobby count, unless you can route said interest into being a positive trait: e.g. if you're a history buff and have spent your childhood watching war documentaries and reading books on the subject, you might have resourcefulness and strategizing / macromanaging capabilities partially thanks to the information and thought patterns you picked up from that hobby.

Also, I got a question on her dragonfly collecting: what's she after in her collection, is she trying to collect one of each species, or does she have a lot of each, or what? If there's a GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL attitude, has she travelled around to find ones that can't be found in the nebulous region Destiny City is found in? O:
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 6:25 am


Echoing Mouse on 'nerdy' and 'energetic' not sounding like virtues at the moment, just neutral traits. Explain the positives of being nerdy and energetic. How do they help her as a civilian, and/or as a senshi?

Loving all the rest. She sounds really cute, and the attacks have already been hammered out, so just enforcing the positives on those two 'virtues' and we should be good to go n.n

kalindara


Marushii

Enduring Loiterer

12,925 Points
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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 11:14 pm


Her hobbies had me grinning. I could get a VERY clear idea of her character just by reading them -- props to you!

One thing I'm a bit curious is, let's pretend she isn't a senshi: what would she be when she grows up? Would she become a tennis player? Or, (more likely from what I've read so far) would she become a field scientist and specialize in dragonflies? Or would she become a stage make-up artist?

Thirding Mouse and Kali's comments about her traits.

With her attacks, how long does Flight of the Dragonflies last?
With Swarm of the Dragonflies, I feel that she should either get the bonus of everything appearing to move slower, or the ability to boost up to two of her allies. As it is right now strikes me as being a bit too strong of a super attack.
Dance of the Dragonflies: How big are the energy dragonflies? 2-3 minutes seems too long, especially with 20 dragonflies buzzing around.
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