Welcome to Gaia! ::

So sorry to be asking you all, all of these questions.

And I'm also apologize for the long wall of text. I'm really trying to keep this short and simple.

So, basically...
I've been feeling VERY shitty about myself recently... and almost all the time.
It feels like I can't trust anyone, and everywhere I go, I feel like people are talking about me, or thinking negative things about me. I started wearing long flowy skirts and long, baggy sweaters because I keep feeling like everyone thinks I'm ugly or gross.
I cannot concentrate at school... Everytime the teacher mentions something that involves rape or molestation, I get very stiff, my face begins to turn red, my palms get sweaty and I simply zone out until the bell rings.
I don't know what's wrong with me, or why I'm even doing this. I used to not have any problem with that kind of stuff in the past, but now it's all just... slipping from my hands.
I used to be an 'A' student. I was one of those 'smart' kids that everyone would go to to get their homework help from. Now, I'm literally failing four classes. FOUR classes. And my freshman year is almost over!
I'm in an Advanced Honors English class, and we're currently reading "To Kill A Mockingbird". And in that book it mentions rape. I couldn't read it without having an emotional breakdown, and so, I just stopped reading the book altogether, and now I failed three quizzes and one test in that class. If I fail another test, there is a strong possibility that I will be demoted to a normal paced English class! I don't want that to happen, but I can't help that I'm literally not able to focus in class anymore.

Everywhere I turn, I feel like I can't trust anybody. I feel like the world is just turning it's back on me slowly... I can't even express my feelings to my parents. I feel like I can't even trust them! I don't feel like I can trust any of my friends either... not even my best friends who I've spent my entire life with. However, I do have some trust in one of my teachers... but I'm always afraid to approach him. I don't want our relationship to become anything more than just teacher-student.

I cry every night. Every night. Not even joking.
My best friend, who was like a sister to me, had moved away during the summer... and now that she left, I feel like I have no one to talk to. No one to trust, or vent, or share my feelings with.

Basic Question:
I know that I need help. And I want help... but I don't know where to find it, or get it, since I don't feel like I can trust anyone anymore... Can anyone give me a few tips on how to regain trust in myself and trust in others? D:

That, I'm afraid, might be the hardest part of it all.
I'm very shy... and it's a little hard for me to make new friends... and even the old ones I have now, I still feel.... wary around them.

I read that book last year in 8th grade. Although I failed most of the quizzes, I got an A on the final test, so I may be able to help you if you don't want to talk to your teacher. To the real point:
It takes some time to regain anything. Trust is one of the most difficult things. It's like as soon as you lose trust in people, it seems like you'll never be able to trust again. You just need to give yourself time. Keep trying. If you feel that you can't trust anyone for help, try seeing what you can do to help yourself first. Maybe it will lead you to trusting again so you'll be able to get help from others.

Okay


Hmm. I see. That happened to me once. My friend was trying to help me with an issue, but she only made it worse. This probably doesn't sound very helpful, but all I can really tell you at this moment is to give yourself time...

First off,
Calm down. If you worry about it too much, you'll only end up convincing yourself that your life is pretty much over. Just, calm down... take a few deep breaths. Usually, you can focus much better on things when you are calm.
My mom told me a story once,

(Sorry if it's long...)
A man was working at a butcher's place, and he was stacking meat away in a walk-in freezer. The other men were closing down shop, and they did not know the man was in the freezer, so they turned off the lights and closed the door. The man in the freezer immediately began to panic, and inside of the freezer, he felt it getting colder and colder. He knew it was then that he would die. He found a pen and a napkin in his pocket, and he wrote a letter to his wife and kids, in case he died.
He was trapped in the freezer all night long.
The next morning, the workers came in and found him dead in the freezer... But the strange thing was... the freezer door was never locked.

See? This proves that sometimes people worry themselves to death. It might seem like you are trapped, but in reality, you really aren't. Sometimes, the answer to your problem is right there in front of you... all you have to do, is stop worrying.
C:
You said that there is a teacher at school that you trust? Maybe you should talk to them, and see what they would recommend for help?