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 Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 12:44 pm
This link brings you to EEW.com newest and coolest video blog, starring Mardy Wilkes Booth.
Episode 1- "Introduction"
Episode 2- "Good TV"
Episode 3- "What?"
Episode 4- "No mo' mojo"
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Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 12:49 pm
Mardy sits against a cement wall painted white, holding a camera aimed at herself. The light from the camera shines brightly in Mardy's blood shot eyes and she uses her free hand to shield her eyes until the actual camera man comes turns the light off. The new lighting was a lot less harsh and Mardy withdrew her hand.
"What's up Bums! Welcome to Mardy Burn TV. That's right, Burn. As in EEW Burn, because Burn is where I belong. What this 'vlog' is all about is me forcing my way on to the show I'm destined to shine on.
I'm not going to wait in line anymore. If you want a bag you have to find a bag. That's what Mardy does. Only this time, a 'bag' would be an opportunity.
Yeah, that's your lesson on poetry. Now, for real, could someone go find me a bag. I'm dry."
The video cuts off with Mardy looking off camera.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:37 pm
"ACK! ACK! GRRUMPH! HUMFPH!" Mardy sounds wildly ending with a large sigh. That is exactly when the camera, in the hands of Mardy herself, picks up on her face. If the hacking cough didn't clue anyone in Mardy's bloodshot eyes gave her all away. She was grinning from ear to ear. Tonight, just as during her last vlog, Mardy sat against a plain white cement wall. She can only be seen from the shoulders up.
"It seems Pukey can spit blood at the camera then high tail it out of EEW with the X-treme. How nice, how nice. How thoughtful of her. Isn't it just so perfect that-- What a jip! I can't believe any of that crap they're calling good television right now. Now listen to me, Bums, this is a very highly developed theory. I mean it, I've thought long and hard about this. Don't go thinking that anytime you see a white Escalade it's a dealer. Most times they do sell something, but all the time Yucky is nothing but a snot nosed chicken with its head cut off.
BUT I'M GOING OFF TOPIC!
The real important stuff I've been wanting to tell my Bums is this, it is a known, A WELL KNOWN FACT that Mardy Bum equals better television so put me on Burn!"
Mardy took a hard hit off El Bongo and blew the smoke into the camera lens just as Yuke did with the blood.
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 9:02 pm
"Sorry I haven't really been, uhh. Who are you again?"
"Mardy, I'm Lewis. I've been taping your show. Well, I've been trying to tape your show. You never show up! The last time you were here you were blazed beyond belief and then you didn't come in or call for over a month. I'm surprised you still have a job here. You haven't had a match in, well I lost count. Mardy you're losing it."
The camera, which had been aimed slightly towards the left of Mardy while Lewis talked, focused back on her face when she looked like she was about to talk. It was a defining moment. Her mouth slacked open for the longest time and snapped shut in an instant. Mardy stared past the camera at Lewis. "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I have a show? What do you mean I have a show? Oh gross! I'm not, like a stripper am I. Is that what this is? Some sort of porn. Forget that. I'm not doing this. Not unless someone gets more pot. Othre than that all my clothes are staying just how they are!"
Upon second look, that was not saying too much. Mardy looked like she had been through a tough month. Her shirt was ripped and hanging off her. She clearly lost some weight and could really eat a hamburger right now. Mardy's hair looked greasy and her eyes were bloodshot.
Lewis began answering her questions with his own, "Mardy what are you even taking? You're a wrestler. In EEW. I work for them. Remember anything about EEW? You want to get on Burn. They gave you a webshow instead. Don't you remember anything at all?"
"So I am a stripper! Well, ********> She grabbed the bottom of her shirt and began pulling it up over her head. Lewis stopped her before she got it all the way off.
"No! Stop! You sit there," he said as he pointed to a gray supply crate. Mardy turned her head and looked at the seat. It did look somewhat familiar. She backed into it slowly and lifted herself onto it. Mardy pushed herself backwards until her back was straight against the cement wall. She smiled and Lewis continued speaking. "Usually you smoke but I don't think you should have anymore of anything tonight. Now all you have to do is talk about how you belong on Burn. Let the people of the world know!" Lewis shouted. He got too excited.
"People of the world," Mardy started even more excitedly, "my friend Lancastor wants me to tell you that I am the new ruler of the free world That's right! I doth rule thy world. HAHAHAHAHAHA! How am I doing Lancelot?"
"Not good." Lewis was very serious. "A lot of people used to think you had potential, but you never take anything seriously. No wonder why nobody ever books you. You're a joke."
"I am not a joke! I am as good as a wrestler as anybody out there." Mardy stood up and walked closer to Lewis. He stepped back, but Mardy didn't attack him. She reached for the bong sitting by his feet instead.
"Are you sure you should have anymore of that?" He asked nervously.
Mardy placed the bong to her mouth, lit the pot, and breathed in deep. She finally exhaled into the lens of the camera. Next all that happened could only be heard and not seen. There was the sound of glass, possibly a bong, shattering. A grunting noise was heard just as the glass broke. Then a thudding and crashing of what might have been a body and a very expensive camera. There was nothing more.
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Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 10:56 pm
"At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
I kept think I could never-"
Mardy's singing was stopped by the sudden brightness of the camera lights that shine directly in her eyes. She blinks and shields her eyes, her pupils are extremely dilated. Not to mention the whites of her eyes weren't as white as they were stop-sign red. She pulled the earbuds from her ears one at a time, but didn't stop her iPod. "I Will Survive" the Cake version continues to blare as Mardy spoke.
"EEW? Hello EEW? Burn! Are you there? Drown... haven't heard from you in awhile? What's going on with Speed. I'm starting to believe the only thing good about Speed is the drug. Ha! Bet you... you thought I was going to say drug!"
Mardy laughs at what she thinks was something clever on her behalfs, meanwhile Lewis the camera guy tries to correct her. "Mardy.. you said drug twice," he said from behind the hand held camcorder.
"No, I said Racer. Speed Racer. Yanno yanno."
Mardy slaps her knee and roars of laughter. Between the laughing, Mardy says things like "said drug drug twice" and "what a doofus".
"Lou, you're interrupting me you silly man. Let me make my point here. This is wasting valuable high time. EEW is kind of dead in the water lately. What happened? EEW Management lost their mojo? Kind of pathetic to be honest."
The camera comes in on a close up of Mardy and it moves to the poster behind her of the EEW logo. The sound of a light and bubbles like the kind you blow in your chocolate milk at IHOP is the only thing heard before the video comes to an end.
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