Twilight d***o comments (content warning) | Page 1 | Mystery Guild of Randomness | Guild Forums

Suugah

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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:18 pm

A bunch of drooling fangirl comments on this Twilight brand sex toy. See on this website?
http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Product_Code=VAMP&Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD

Some comments that stood out to me. Are they trolls or not? You decide. (Comments may cause lulz... or withdrawl)

Maggie 08/30/2009
OMG! I LOVE the Twilight Series so much! This d***o is great because one minute I shut my eyes and pretend I am screwing Edward with his cold, sparkling, marble c**k; then the next, I warm it up and pretend Jacob is doing me from behind [you know, DOGGY STYLE! LOLZ!!!] I have multiples because sometimes I like to pretend they are both ravishing my body at the same time. Also, I like to tie them to my cats and pretend they are were-vamp-kitties! I just wish a balls were included with the shaft, so that Edward and Jacob could take turns tea-bagging me...another good idea is to hold your hand in ice water for a bit, and then you can act like Edward is giving you a donkey punch as well!

11/21/2009
This d***o is AMAAAZING. I have 7 of them so I have enough to imagine Edward Cullen ramming every orifice in my body with his sparkling peen. I also like to attach them to my grandma while she's sleeping and pretend she's a giant vampire cockmonster. so hot

Bagheera 12/02/2009
OMG I love the vamp I glued a bunch of hair from my moms wigs onto it and pretended it's Jacob :] GO VAMP!

Naomi 01/08/2010
This product is AH-MAZING. I bout 27. I gave them out to all my friends as party gifts. Then I kept 7 of them for myself so I could pretend the whole Cullen family was inside me. AT ONCE. The sparkles only added to the experience because they go good with my cat's fur and I strapped it onto him. The fur made it feel like Jacob was ravaging my orafices! There should be balls though. I stuck it up my bum. Sometimes I get my friends to join in 'cause I have too many lil eddies for my hands to hold. Sometimes i attatch it to the refrigerator door for an authentic cold experience.

03/27/2010
guyz i'm 12 what is this?

(End o' disturbing comments)
FREAKING CULT ARTISTS. (takes gun to own head and pulls trigger)

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:23 pm

-excuses himself and goes to vomit-

XemryXIII
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Music Breaks Hearts

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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:27 pm

eek

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:42 pm

XemryXIII

-excuses himself and goes to vomit-

dude. don't say that. i'm sick as it is (currently vomiting on and off for about six hours from hell only knows what. hopefully, since i'm feeling better, it's about gone)

those comments made me laugh my a** off. which is good because i'm not feeling good, and anything that'll make me laugh is a good thing.
rabid fangirls are retarded. seven so all the cullens could go at it (when three of them are girls and don't have the part the d***o is replicating)? strapping them to cats to pretend jacob is going at it? wanting balls with it? and i read some of the other comments (charlie swan? putting it on a wheelchair and pretending it's jacob's diabetic father? making your boyfriend wear it because it's better than him (talk about a low blow to a man)? what the hell?), and those people are fricking stupid. (ok, i always wanted to be bit by a vampire. i never really thought about doing one.) just because they managed to take whatever technique they use to put glitter in bouncy balls into dildos and sell the product to a bunch of physically starved girls (now the vampires glittering thing is starting to piss me off)

oh well. it made me laugh, and realize how pathetic twilight is becoming when you make dirty products for the fans, and it gets this good of results (i don't care what they say. they need to get laid by real people, no matter how much they don't want to anymore) (hope i don't get banned for making these comments

SchizoSpazz

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deamondancer

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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:07 pm

It's not the d***o, it's how you use it. LOL

Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:08 pm

ahahahahaha rofl

tutunkta

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Rosairei

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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 10:20 pm

lol
I feel the bile coming on.

Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 3:34 am

You're the darkest burning star...

Even as a Twilight fangirl
I am repulsed! scream
First
Most fangirls are TEENAGERS!
They shouldn't be gettin' this kind of stuff
Second
WTF?!?!?!
Just because it sparkles doesn't mean anything!
People are freakin' idiots
Not only buyin' this because it sparkles
But spendin' that much on something
When your hands are free!

...you're my perfect disease

Chasing Stardust

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XemryXIII
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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 4:58 am

the_darkest_burning_star

You're the darkest burning star...

Even as a Twilight fangirl
I am repulsed! scream
First
Most fangirls are TEENAGERS!
They shouldn't be gettin' this kind of stuff
Second
WTF?!?!?!
Just because it sparkles doesn't mean anything!
People are freakin' idiots
Not only buyin' this because it sparkles
But spendin' that much on something
When your hands are free!

...you're my perfect disease

lesson of the day:

use the gifts you were born with rofl xd

Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 5:11 am

...
*adds company to list of places to blow up*
...
i think i threw up a lil in my mouth...
=w=

I3unni

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Chasing Stardust

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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 9:35 am

You're the darkest burning star...

Then again, this isn't the first time a company has done this
I was shown a website for Hello Kitty S&M toys
(OMGWTF?!)
That was also traumatizing

...you're my perfect disease

Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:08 pm

the_darkest_burning_star

You're the darkest burning star...

Then again, this isn't the first time a company has done this
I was shown a website for Hello Kitty S&M toys
(OMGWTF?!)
That was also traumatizing

...you're my perfect disease

I saw those before... (shudder) There's a Hello Kitty everything. o_o I forgot about that.

Suugah

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Suugah

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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:15 pm

I don't have anything against sex toys, it's just that these girls are pretending they're being screwed by Edward. And even worse they claim to strap them to their cats and grandmas?

WHAT THE HELL?! Man these girls are sick in the head. I hope they're lying about those sick deeds.

Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 3:53 pm

You're the darkest burning star...

I believe that some of them are bogus
Then again, I might be hopin' more than anything

...you're my perfect disease

Chasing Stardust

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Ironarm Sythe

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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 7:16 pm

eek ................ burning_eyes

Creepiness on a hole notha level

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