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 Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 9:09 am
Hello, everyone. I just started taking a serious look into Buddhism, and I am conflicted.
On the one hand, there are times when Buddhism feels so right to me, like it's the most logical thing in the world. The thought of having no ego, no want, no desire, only bliss, seems so appealing to me. I've felt sparks of it here and there throughout my life, and it was an amazingly beautiful feeling.
On the other, there are times when I want to cling to my old beliefs, that of neo-paganism, and I am afraid. I don't want to go without desires, my hopes, my ideals. I want to feel like a separate, special, loved entity. I don't want to lose the feeling I get when I stare into the night sky, things like that.
I guess I don't want to lose me. Maybe I'm just being a pansy about all this.
Am I looking at this the wrong way? Is there any advice or insight you all are willing to give?
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Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 11:11 am
Attaining all of those things take time and practice to do. Also, when you break all of your attachment, desire, etc., the night sky won't look the same, in fact, it may look so much better. Walking down the path of Buddhism, I have much more love and appreciation for the things nature has to offer. It's ok to have beliefs that aren't in Buddhism. I still meditate with crystals and believe in their powers, yet I am a very devout Buddhist. As long as there is no clash between neo-paganism and Buddhism, then the practice of both of them could be healthy. If you find a clash, you just need to look at your true self and find what it truly deems as correct. Buddhism is all about practice and finding out about yourself. Some people practice Buddhism for lifetimes and don't find the Ultimate Truth. Also, who you are and your separate self are two different ideas. Who you are is who you are, yet your separate self is only an imagination. It is a perceived image of yourself.
When you look at the night sky, the stars, and the moon, know that you are apart of it. You are within it and it is within you. This is an extraordinary feeling and when it is felt, it is of great magnitude. In fact, look at anything and know that you are of the same energy as it and you will feel more compassion for it. You may also be filled with an enormous bliss. Live in the present moment and love with all you can, this is a wondrous feeling and is what I see as a truth/meaning of life.
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