EDIT It has been called to my attention that I made the mistake of confusing the Gerudos with the Sheikah. This mistake as been edited as of 4/19/2010 ^^
The only warning I can think of is a bit of language~
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"Hurrup!" the blond male exclaimed as he struck the final blow against his enemy. His "enemy" being a large, stationary tree. And his weapon a large, thick, stick he had found on the ground. Quite honestly, he was glad he was using the stick rather than an actual sword for when he took that final blow he swung the stick over his head and hit the center of the tree. In the end, the stick rebounded off the tree and flew back just to hit the top of his head. "Damnit!" he scowled, and in his anger he swung the stick against the side of the tree, feeling much better as the stick broke in half.
"Great show, Linky-boy!" The blonde turned around quickly, ready to strike. That is until he realized it was just his shadow.
"What do you want?" Link scowled, holding his half-of-a-stick as threatening as one could.
This only made the darker haired male laugh again. "Don't be so hostile," he managed to get out between his laughing. "I just have a question that needs answering~"
Lowering his guards ever-so-slightly, Link raised an eyebrow. "What is the question?" he asked, watching the other cautiously.
"Pirates or ninjas?" he asked the blonde with a completely serious look on his face. Link, on the other hand, was a bit taken aback. "What…?" he asked him, dropping his half-of-a-stick onto the ground, and gave Dark an odd look. "Pirates? Or ninjas?" he repeated, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Well… pirates, then…" Link replied a with a slight shrug of his shoulders. Though he took a step back when he was his shadow's jaw drop.
"Really? I totally pegged you as a ninja-type of guy…" Dark Link explained, shaking his head a bit. The blonde male raised an eyebrow at him, as if encouraging him to explain. Which he happily did, "Well the Sheikah are pretty ninja like, not to mention they're hot!"
Link smiled over at the gray-haired male and explained, "Well pirates are always pretty willing to help me…" he paused for a moment before adding with a small shake of his head, "Even if their help attempts sometimes just end up making it worse…" Dark Link sent him an odd look and before he could even ask Link cut in, "Impa always kind of scared me."
The other just let out a sigh, "Well, I'm definitely sticking with ninjas. They're good at sneaking around and hiding in shadows," he explained, with a smile on his face.
Link snorted at the expression on his face--the smile looked more creepy than warming like a normal smile would--and was just about to retort when a new voice joined them, "I heard shouting, is everyone okay?" Colin, the short blond child asked politely.
Though Link's attention was not on Colin but on the girl next to him. No… it wasn't Beth--though she was there. "Liiiiink!" the blue girl squealed and immediately attached herself to Link's arm.
His faced turned red as he tried to break the grip, "P-Princess Ruto! What a… surprise…" he said in a strained voice, shooting a glare at Colin that said, what was Ruto doing here?
To which Colin gave him an apologetic look. Though no more was able to be said for Shadow Link quickly crossed over to the children that had appeared with Colin. "What 'bout you? Ninjas or Pirates?"
Almost instantly Talo rose a fist into the air and announced, "Pirates! They get to go on great adventures! Oh and they have cannons and swords!" he explained excitedly, thrusting an imaginary sword.
Beth made a disgusted sound. "Ninjas. Pirates are soooo gross! They hardly bathe, even though they are, like, surrounded by water. Besides, they are, like, afraid of alligators!"
"First off, Beth, it was a crocodile. Second, it was only Captain Hook who was really afraid of them…" Malo explained to the girl with a sight. To which Beth just made a "humph!" sound and looked away from the group. "Though I have to agree with Beth. Ninjas don't have big beer-bellies…"
The Zora Princes nuzzled Link's are as she said, "Pirates. Anything in water is my favorite~ Besides," she tightened her grip as Link tried to move away, "Anything Link likes… I like."
There was an audible gulp as Link, not trying to be discreet any longer, tried to wrench his arm away. The shadow, on the other hand, wasn't paying much attention to Link's problems. "Damn, that's three for each…" he scowled then his eyes came to rest on Colin. "Boy!" Colin jumped when he realized he was being talked to. "What about you? Ninjas?"
"Or Pirates!" Link chimed in, finally freeing himself from the, now disappointed, Zora Princess.
"Uh… both?" he replied, unsure. Not wanting to make either side angry. Dark Link felt his eyebrow twitch and Colic recoiled slightly out of fear of being struck. Quickly adding, "Uh… well, you know they are… uh… the same?" Now all eyes were on Colin, confused evident on their faces. The gears in Colin's brain were quickly turning as he tried to explain--though even he wasn't sure what he had meant. "Uh… well… there is… uhm…. Princess Zelda! Y-yeah. She was Sheik… who is… ninja like, right? And Princess Zelda also is… T-Tetra who happens to be… uh… a pirate. So they are… equal, right?"
Colin felt his face grow warm from embarrassment from his rushed and odd explanation. It didn't ease his embarrassment when Dark Link shook his head and started to ask, "What. The. Fuc--"
"Language!" Link swiftly interrupted, attempting to cover Talo's--currently the closest child--ears, but only had his hands smacked away by an annoyed boy.
"Well? How are we going to determine who's better then?" he scowled, shooting the embarrassed and scared Colin a glare.
"Cursing at a boy won't help you," Link pointed out, rolling his eyes at the Shadow. Who just huffed and crossed his arms over his chest once again.
"Perhaps we could ask Princess Zelda, herself?" Malo suggested, out of the blue. "She happens to be at the spring with Ilia and Epona."
Dark Link seemed to think that was a great idea, for he turned on his heel and said, "Well, what are guys waiting for? We'll now find out, once and for all, ninjas are way better." Link just shook his head and followed, muttering, "Why are so many Princesses here?"
It didn't take long to reach the spring, and when they did the first think Link heard was giggling. Though that giggling immediately ceased when a twig snapped and one of them called out, "Who's there?"
Link rounded the corner and smiled over at the two girls, "Ah, speak of the devil," Zelda laughed waving at the male.
"Speak of the devil?" his smile faltered for a moment and he raised an eyebrow. "Oh, Ilia, what were you telling her?" he nearly groaned.
"Just stories about you when you were younger," she teased with a wink. "Ah, more company? Would you like to hear about Link when he was a child, too?" she joked, loving the way Link's face turned slightly red.
This was something the Zora Princess nearly jumped on, "Yes!" she squealed. "I want to know everything about him." The creepiest smile that ever existed spread across her face as she went over to two girls. Ruto looked as if she was about to say something more but Epona whinnied loudly pawing at the ground with her hooves, as if to interrupt.
"At least my horse cares about me," Link muttered under his breath, patting the horse lovingly. Speaking up he continued, "Anyways, we have more pressing matters to attend to! Ilia I have to ask you something," he told her with a completely serious expression on his face. Now it was his turn to tease her and watch the way her face turned red. "Who do you like better. Pirates or ninjas?"
Ilia felt like slapping the man, serious question? Yeah, right. "Uh… well ninjas--" a loud "yes!" erupted from Dark Link before Ilia could continue. "They're prettier and shave~" Link shook his head slightly, when had it been determined ninjas shave? For all she knew they could have the hairiest chest any person has ever seen underneath their clothing.
"Well, Epona votes for pirates, 'cause she doesn't like the Sheikah," Link stated, patting the horses muzzle. "Isn't that right~"
"Dude, your horse doesn't get to vote," Dark Link stated bluntly, rolling his eyes. "If your horse can vote then that fish votes for ninjas. It doesn't like pirates because they ate his fishy cousins!"
Now it was Link's turn to shake his head. "Ninjas are Japanese. They nearly live off fish. Besides, pirates live off rum and such. Why would they waste their time fishing for something they'd have to scale and then cook! Ninjas probably have eaten way more of his 'fishy cousins' then pirates."
Dark Liked huffed again, not having an argument against that. "Fine, the fish is out of the picture," he scowled.
"Are you forgetting about my vote?" Zelda interrupted, hands on her hips. "That's not very polite of you," she scolded, narrowing her eyes.
"Well, excuuuuuse me, princess." Dark Link replied in an obnoxious voice and then rolled his eyes. "Tell me then, ninjas or pirates?"
Zelda tapped her chin, as if thinking. "I think I'd rather vote for myself," she stated bluntly. "After all, I'm better than any pirate or ninja. Right?" she asked smiling. After a long pause of nobody saying anything her voice turned cold and her eyes narrowed again. "I said, right?"
Immediately everyone nodded, "Right!" they nearly chimed in unison. Dark Link smirked over at Link and then pressed his lips to the Princess's hand, "You are far better than any ninja or pirate."
Link rolled his eyes and muttered, "Kiss a**."
In the end the finally tally turned out to be
Pirates: 0
Ninjas: 0
Princess Zelda: 9
Maybe the world just isn't meant to know who is better. Though it is quite apparent Zelda is either more popular or more feared than any pirate or ninja.
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So, yeah, just this random idea I got in my incredibly boring geometry class today. I’m not quite sure what was going through my mind at the time but this is the result xD
I just couldn’t resist adding the “excuse me princess.” The fic was begging for it, I swear!
For the record, I’m so far on the pirates side it’s not funny. I don’t see ninjas going around wearing sexy eye patches <3
