I've been gone, a long while. But, here I seem to be again. I'll practice the trendy thing, of keeping a single thread for most of my poetry.
I guess, as a warning, I need to say that a lot of what I write isn't always clean. But, as far as I understand, it's never out right degrading, disturbing, or the like.
After that, I feel as though I should say . . enjoy.
Please critique. I need to improve.
And I have added a Critique Guide to any who wish to read it, in the School House forum, any coments on it are welcome there. (I am also willing, to try my hand at other guides. If someone needs or wants one, or simply believes having one on a certain topic would be a good idea.)
I was going to write some commentaries on my poems. My feelings while writing, the mood I get off them, the images that go through my head, the idea I was going for. But, on second thought, if anyone wishes, I'll gladly offer my comments, however, no reason for me to corrupt your minds before you critique. So, in that mind set, I shall try to remain, painfully, silent.
News:
First post: April 12th, 2010 - two poems.
Second post: May 7th, 2010 - one poem, Critique guide in the School forum.
Third post: May 10th, 2010 - two poems.
And to begin, two seperate pieces.
Recognized Failure(Added April 12th, 2010)
fevered rationality sets in,
before I can open my eyes
and see all that has blinded me.
I scream, I yell, I threaten,
and I shrink.
all is painlessly deadly.
furrowed brows, and coughing breath,
I slump against indecisiveness,
and swallow the confined freedom.
this is a life lead by a leash,
wrapped around my heart
and tied to natural disinterest.
I desperately watch, in cool detachment
as my life withers beneath
the harsh sanitation of society.
and as I lock my own chains,
I struggle against the onslaught
of a peaceful community.
Grey Caress(Added April 12th, 2010)
The rain pounded against the glass,
creating the rut-ta-tut-tut beat,
the gleam in your eyes danced to.
Soft hands pulled in, against a soft body.
And our breath added just a hint
of the heat we could feel between us.
As dreams swirled into storm drains,
and hopes and umbrellas flew away,
we curled up beside each other.
Sharp Conscience(Added May 7th, 2010)
There's all of this on my mind,
yet it wont seperate,
the cloud sits upon me and weighs.
But it's only mocking,
I try to come up with the words.
I can only think of how I'm sorry.
And tell you I'll be there,
even when I may no longer be able.
I smile, while the tears still fall.
This mask I hold, has worn away,
and all that remains are the lies.
My eyes flicker, my mind blackens.
And all I can come up with,
huddeled against the cold wall,
is how the appology you deserve,
could never fit onto a sheet of paper.
It's raining now, as I sit naked and shaking.
My mind is still a sheet of slate,
heavy and sharp on my conscience.
Cold After Image(Added May 10th, 2010)
Hair slides back from a porcelain hand,
A cold look before a warm smile,
And I am left standing on the corner.
Small back, with a moving waist,
Sweater, with the rolled up sleeves.
The skies are an empty blue,
The cold a long accustomed friend.
The concrete is hard, the road wet.
And I’ve been standing here alone,
The crowds have left,
And she has already passed me by.
But here I am, partnered with
The cold after image.
Submerged(Added May 10th, 2010)
There are things that shine in the water,
They glide and slither vying for attention.
The sun has set, and still I watch,
Golden hues radiate towards me and sing.
It’s hushed beneath the waters surface.
So I dunk my head beneath the water,
My eyes stinging, and the music still,
Just that much farther away.
I sink my shoulders into the murky water,
From the surface it seemed so clear,
And now, I cannot see anything.
I can no longer hear anything,
But the rest of my body slides beneath the surface.
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