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Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 1:03 am
Azzo Wolf Crowley. Age eighteen, lived with his grandmother. In need of more help than Edward Nguyen could provide.
The counsellor in question tossed the casefile back on his desk with a slight grimace, stirring his cooling hot chocolate. 'His' came with airquotes. He and the other RTLB counselling staff were nomads who used whatever space they got to work in. At Meadowview they at least took advantage of a crumbling prefab they'd partitioned into offices, utilized the rest of the time as release-teacher space. At Hillworth they got empty science classrooms with dripping taps. At their far-and-few visits to Crystal Academy they got beautiful soundproofed rooms and -- as Gina said wryly -- "a wide berth from everyone else." To be honest, he preferred Hillworth.
Azzo Crowley, and he'd never been able to work out whether the Wolf was part of a First Nations heritage or not, had been one of the ones who'd come out alive from the organ ring broken up in the DC hills late last year. They'd offered the kids only a cursory psych examination, as far as Edward could tell, before releasing them back into the system. He wasn't the only one of those remnants to get put on an RTLB keyworker, but unless the student in question specifically got a doctor's rec to go into therapy the counsellors' suggestions for psych help were gently rebuffed. "Not enough resources," they got told. "It's not your job to reference except in cases of major concern."
To them Azzo was too good a kid to be 'of major concern'. He was high-functioning and clamp-mouthed. Had slightly twitchy hands. Was one of thousands and thousands of latchkey kids abandoned to a sole grandmother who liked her Pernod and liked her Ambien -- there was a knock on the door, and he put that thought away in the box of 'pretty unjust, Edward'.
"Hey," he said. Big smile. Set him at ease. "Come in. Pick a chair, they all squeak."
As a chair got picked, Edward Nguyen sifted through Azzo's files. There were a couple scribbles from last time, a couple things they'd talked about. Goal: I won't dwell on the past. I'll think things through logically when they disturb me. It wasn't even as though he was a disruption, just lost concentration doing his homework and was struggling to catch up after trauma. No anger, no lashing out.
It wasn't Edward's forte. But there was nobody else.
He shuffled idly through the pages, took a swig of his drink and set his mug down again. Today his t-shirt read: BE YOURSELF. WHO ELSE IS BETTER QUALIFIED?. "What if I don't ask you how you're doing this time, but how your schoolwork's going?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 6:30 am
Azzo walked in when asked. He'd gotten tired of his gram's harping, she was concerned he couldn't blame her. He had tried to avoid this though, he didn't want to go to someone. He was still worried they might lock him up if he said too much. However, he did finally go to someone for help.
At least it'd make her happy, maybe.... He did whatever he could to make her happy. She was the only that cared after all. Wait, that might not have been fair, his thoughts gazed over to Melody, she'd told him to see someone too.
She was confusing to him, he had that nagging feeling like something was going to happen every time he was around her. However, he couldn't deny her the want to be around him. He sighed when he reached a chair in the middle of the class room he sat down and kind of lounged in the chair, looking a bit glazed over.
He was still a bit tired, it was easy to tell. He looked towards Mr. Nguyen when the question was asked and took a moment to clear his head as much as he could before he answered. "Pretty well I think, Science is kicking my a** as normal, but I think I can pass it by the skin of my teeth so to speak. English is interesting as always, though I guess it's the teacher I got for that one."
After all how many teachers threw mardi gras beads in class? Azzo glanced at the shirt Edward had on this time brow lofting. "Nice shirt." He tacked on as a last thought for the moment.
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 3:09 pm
Edward did the classic check-my-shirt upside-down glance. "Thanks, Azzo," he said, though this was said with the perfectly straight face of someone who was happy that you'd just complimented his shirt. The tack changed: "Mr. Gordon, am I right?" A nod. "You're not the only one who's called him 'interesting'. You're lucky to end up with him, you know. He's a good teacher. Keeps you on your toes."
Mr. Gordon also played favourites, but it was probably better for Azzo to test the waters in Ray Gordon's class than it was for him to be in, say, Amelia Vyner's -- both were relatively young teachers, but Miss Vyner was young and softspoken and easily distracted. Ray provided structure. Sometimes really bizarre structure, but structure.
"Okay." He took another long swig of his hot chocolate. His eyes were on Azzo's: Mr. Nguyen didn't do confrontation, but he tended to meet your eyes. "Let's talk about how much sleep you're getting instead, because your face says -- let me see -- three, four hours last night?"
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:46 pm
Azzo nodded when he guessed Mr. Gordon. "He does seem like a good teacher, fun at the least. Seems to know his theatrics too." Azzo admitted, he knew some, it came with being a puppeteer, but then Mr. Gordon probably knew a lot more than he did mainly because he was older.
Azzo watched as Mr. Nguyen took a sip of his drink. Not sure what was in the smiley face cup but it wasn't really of any worry. Azzo blinked when he was asked how many hours he'd slept.
"Off and On I'd say that's about right. Didn't bother to check the clock." He said biting back a yawn. "Nightmares have been keeping me up." He added, he wasn't about to deny that they weren't.
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:41 pm
Nightmares was part of the scribble. Beside it he'd written frequent, ???, 2-4 times??? which needed to be typed out coherently. Azzo knew the tone of voice that Mr. Nguyen shifted into. "First thing that goes with no sleep is concentration," he said. "Memory retention's cut in half. That won't help you in science if you're trying to pass. From there we get depression, high blood pressure. Dogs and cats living together." The last one was said lightly, but there was a furrow in Mr. Nguyen's brow. "Okay. Hang on."
He was easing a sheet out of a big fat file he had, and he passed it to Azzo. It was headed: SLEEP HYGIENE, and seemed to consist of all the things you weren't meant to do an hour before bed. The best way to get sleep was to bore yourself into a stupor, reading between the lines. "Emotional health is physical health is emotional health," the counsellor was saying. There was still that tiny frown. "Are you eating?"
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:56 pm
Azzo watched as he scribbled. He looked curiously, at the cats and dogs comment. "high blood pressure?" He said winkling his nose as he thought. He didn't want that problem.
He pondered curiously, "Eating?" He looked at Nguyen curiously as if he didn't know his grandmother. "Of course I'm eating. Grams would have a cow if I didn't at least eat something."
He sighed, "It might not always be healthy. But hey it's food." He said with a shrug, using the chair beside of him as a foot rest. He was glaceing at the sleep hygiene. "Sounds like I just need to find black and white silent movies." He said as he read it.
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:27 pm
"No, you don't," said Mr. Nguyen pleasantly. "Television keeps you up. Use a radio." Nag. Unfortunately, right there on the sheet echoed his keyworker's words: Television will engage your attention, so no TV right before bed. Some people find it more soothing to listen to music. "Let me guess that you're not getting five plus of fruits or veggies a day, either."
He glanced over at Azzo's feet on the chair. One of his long denim-clad legs shot up and lifted the boy's feet off it just as cleanly, depositing them back on the floor and off the seat. "I can't actually imagine what you're going through," he said, as though he hadn't just relocated Azzo's legs. "If I could I'd have all the answers. But you have a duty to yourself and to your Grams to keep yourself healthy, to lower your stress, to keep your schoolwork up so you can graduate."
Mr. Nguyen took another long swig of the cup. "Or are you sitting there thinking, 'I'm eighteen, I don't have to listen.'" He smiled again, that small smile. "You don't, you know. It's your choice."
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:42 pm
Azzo looked at the sheet again and almost painfully sighed. "Huh... maybe it's time to invest in an Ipod and a computer or something... since everything's so freaking old in my house it won't let you plug in headphones." He could at least get decent music if anything. Most of the stuff on the radio wasn't his taste then again some of it was, but a lot it made him want to gag.
He paused when his feet were removed. "Sorry" He mumbled softly. Looking almost like he'd been scolded, a common response when someone didn't like something. Probably instilled by his father, one that Azzo liked to refer to as a real bear of a man, which was probably an accurate description.
He paused, "I try to eat them when I can." He said in honesty. "Country cooking, like I said, might not be all that great. Grams likes to throw bacon in the green beans and I throw just about anything in omelets." He said, he did eat salad's too though they had to have some sort of meat.
He paused and looked at Nguyen when he asked if he was sitting there thinking he didn't have to listen. "Sometimes maybe." He said with a shrug, "Though, I mean...." He sighed, "I know something has to break in my life. I'd rather be able to get control of it myself. Like to think I could be the strong one, the one that's counted on to protect my Grams." He said softly.
"It's not like the rest of the family cares for her more than they like her money." He looked at the counselor. He wanted to say something about being afraid he was crazy, that he would get locked away in the nut house, never to see his Grams again. Instead he sighed and turned the thought into something a little different, "They don't care I'm alive either, then again you've probably already figured that out." He muttered looking sour.
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 4:11 am
Mr. Nguyen didn't immediately contradict him, didn't give him any platitudes about of course they care you're alive, they're your family, they love you. He merely said, "Let's focus on you and your Grams. You said, 'strong one'. To look after your Grams, you look after yourself so you can look after her."
The goal sheet was dropped into his lap. "I know we talk about solutions a lot," his keyworker was saying. "What it'll look like when you succeed. I think you've written enough for me." (Phew.) "Azzo, tell me where you want to be in six months. I'm not going to judge you on anything you say. There's no wrong answer. We just keep on talking about what you want to change, but I think you're frustrated about how you keep going nowhere."
His counsellor shrugged. "I'm meant to be like your -- GPS, you know. Tell me where you want to go, I'll help you find the route."
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:31 am
Azzo's eyes wondered down to the goal sheet. "Yeah, Grams...." He said softly listening to Nguyen. His brain shifting slowly over to where he wanted to be.
He was flipping the paper over and back again for a few seconds thinking, "I guess I'd like to be in college, get out of here as soon as I could, and maybe finding something substantial enough in the career world to make sure Grams can be as comfortable as she was when Gramps was alive..." He trailed off there wrinkling his nose, still wishing he'd learned more tricks in hypnotism than just polar tricks while his Grandfather was still alive.
He knew realistically he could probably never amount the small fortune his grandfather had. All that had been pure hard work between the land they had and his abilities in the psychological societies. He sighed, "Though that'll be forever before I can find something making that sort of money..." He had high hopes, but he knew better than to keep them as expectations. "So for now I'd settled with children's entertainment or something, and not one of those clowns. More of the Marionette and Puppet show deals..." Azzo probably didn't seem the type to act.
He paused, "Though I think there's at least one theater here I need to go bug about that." Lily had showed him a place that might be beneficial but it might be volunteer work, but if it worked...It'd work.
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 5:05 am
Mr. Nguyen was draining the very last from the smiley-face coffee cup. Now he was digging around in his pocket and had unearthed some cinnamon mints, the tin of which he was flicking open with a thumbnail and shaking out a couple into his palm. What could you do? Azzo was a bundle of concerns and worries, expectations and pressures, and there was no way of saying concentrate on yourself only. In fact, Azzo had the right of it: the world was unfair and wanted something from him, and so long as he wasn't screaming he'd never get a referral. But the type of work he wanted. Well.
Puppet shows. Where did you go with puppeteering unless you were Jim Henson?
"With kid's entertainment you'll need a referee. You know that if you need me to vouch for you, I'll do it? Bring me your résumé next time and we'll go over it." Azzo was offered a cinnamint. "Résumé and your solemn promise that you're eating fruit."
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Posted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 6:52 am
Azzo nodded, and politely declined the mint. He was considering what Mr. Nguyen had just said. Looking at him curiously before giving a nod, "Alright." He said softly.
"I mean, I know kids enjoy the shows after all. I occasionally take my puppets to the park." His fingers drummed the table for a second, "I'll see about working up a resume though so you can see it." He said giving a nod.
The last time he'd managed to successful;y give a puppet show was back in his 'hometown'. He gave a soft sigh, that almost seemed a little wistful, as things back there had been simpler. However he stopped when Nguyen said to promise he's eating fruit. "Oh of course. Mostly fresh stuff, and I dunno if you count Cactus salsa as fruits or vegetables, but I've got that too."
He was looking at Nguyen, thinking, "Can I ask you something?" He had to have tact when asking what he was thinking on, without letting on that he followed monsters around because his 'gut' told him to or anything like that. Perhaps sticking to the amnesia case and probably some sort of... he paused weird feeling might land him back in the hospital. He wasn't sure how to put it... he'd figure it out when it got to that point he was sure of it.
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Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 9:38 pm
Edward had smiled a little at cactus salsa, which probably meant that it did not, in fact, count as fruit. Considering that there were three empty Kit-Kat wrappers half-hidden behind a folder on the desk in front of them, it was a little suspect if Mr. Nguyen himself got five plus a day.
"That's what I'm here for," said his counsellor. Azzo looked uncomfortable, weighed-down, the kind of look you got before you admitted that you'd tried crack cocaine or that you swore the local icecream seller's van was following you around or that you'd cheated on your girlfriend. None of these things were in-character for Azzo Crowley. The boy in front of him looked incredibly unsure. Mr. Nguyen prompted, quietly: "Go ahead."
There was only one question he didn't want and had always dreaded: why did God pick me to be snatched by organ farmers and steal six months of my life?
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Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:09 pm
Azzo saw the slight smile and shrugged, "I didn't think it would." It didn't mean he would stop eating it though, he had noticed the Kit-kat bars however, since he was the one on trail he didn't dare push his luck. He knew when to respect his elders, at least that much Azzo Crowley did in fact remember.
The Six months part of his life might have been right, however, it wasn't what Edward was expecting in the why the organ farm. "Do you think Amnesia can have bad effects on people?"
He asked curiously, "I mean like little quirks... there's people that I see that know me. Clearly because they call my name, but I have no idea who they are but they have that vague sort of .... I know you.... but I don't." He wrinkled his nose softly thinking on how to continue this was confusing already. "I feel bad I don't know them, that I can't tell you who they are or how we know each other... I really do feel bad about this..."
It didn't help Fallon had been insulted by this fact, "I mean.... I feel like I insult people when I say I don't remember them... I think I have at least one..."
He took a breath before commenting on the next piece of it. Which probably could indirectly be linked towards the organ ring as well, followed, "I also have this odd feeling like there's danger lurking around every corner now. The news doesn't help..." He added meekly, mainly because he knew the senshi and the youma. He was still unsure about the negaverse, but he knew normal people didn't know. Lucky people didn't know.
He looked at Mr. Nguyen almost scare to finish scared to slip up and let on that there were monsters outside, "That's not anything to worry about is it? I mean...." He sighed looking flustered, he couldn't say what he meant, it was absolutely annoying. However, he added to his trailing off "I know despite the papers and so called terrorist acts, nothing is actually going to happen again..." He left this to hang for the unspoken I hope, but continued in the moment after "However, I get that creeping feeling, not like someone following me, but like something bad might happen... Amnesia could cause that couldn't it?"
He knew what he'd been classified in the hospital. He knew some things, it was the things that he didn't have an answer for that worried him. Like the Youma, that which he promised not to chase, but he couldn't just not do it could he? They had to have an answer, he couldn't just leave them alone... However, he had a feeling he'd be thrown into a paranoid group classing or something worse at his admitting he got those creeping feelings. He suppressed a chill, "I don't want to be crazy..." He muttered almost under his breath. He had a feeling it was coming though, even if he was let down he was bracing himself for what could be the worse possible answer he could get.
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Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 9:00 pm
Mr. Nguyen had simply listened. There was no expression of concern or judgement on his face, of worry or skepticism. He looked impassive. His only move was to lean back in his chair nad extract another cinnamint, his gaze flicking out the window briefly as he seemed to turn over everything Azzo had said inside his brain.
In fact, Edward felt nothing but that terrible sense of sadness again. "Azzo," he said. "You've been through -- well, you know what you've been through, I'm not going to repeat it. You're going to be feeling bad about the gaps in your memory for a while, you're going to be afraid. You're going to be frustrated, I guess."
Another cinnamint. "I'm going to speak off the record for a moment," said his counsellor, and put down the packet. "Azzo, I've never been able to give you the help I think you need. You need a doctor. I don't even play one on TV." It was a lame joke. Both of them knew it. "You're going to have to work through the amnesia aftereffects by yourself, and it's going to be really difficult, but I want you to remember four words."
Four fingers were held up. "I. Am. Not. Crazy." A finger came down after each word. "You are not crazy. Say it."
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