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You're a pretty good poet |
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Amazing. |
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Could use some work... |
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Total Votes : 3 |
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Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:18 pm
So I'm gonna post old and new poems here to be critiqued or rated so I can get ideas on new topics to write about and what i can improve on. (so far these were all written my freshman year in high school)
1. I give you myself and all of my heart, I thought I knew who I was but was missing a part This exsistance of mine is here only for you My love can be seen in all that I do We walk down the street in each others embrace And ignore all the looks of disgust on their face
They must not know love and its endless bounds I wish they could know the completion we've found. They don't understand, why can't they see? They can't grasp the fact you're the other half of me They can't just see what love we both share They don't understand our love is still there.
Their hate surrounds us in all that we are But our love fills us and heals that deep scar The moon shines so bright when its you by my heart I can't understand why they want us apart We feel and play and love like they do Why do they cringe when I say "I love you too"?
Well they can cringe all they want, we are going nowhere Not even family can separate this pair I hope some will learn and not be a "they" And in the family of ours be able to stay Woman with Woman, or even man with man I love them all fully with all that I am
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But I love you the most, that much is true I love you with all thatI am, see and do. Rip up all doubts and burn them with pride 'Cause to find me you need only look to your side And forever and ever is how that will be If I can't hear your heart you are too far from me
3. Heart to Heart, I want you here Flesh to Flesh, you should be near Your warm skin, so close to mine Caught in the moment, please freeze time. This feeling inside burns hot like fire Glowing and dancing, never seems to tire... Your hand in mine and life makes sense We feel the same so don't be tense Embrace this love and its unending glow I will hold you close and the world we will show
4. Haiku Clouds of grey sorrow Melting away heartfelt pain A day lacking love
5. Its hard to breathe, this pain hurts so much I want to wake up to your warm eyes If only it was you here with me now Why does the world fill me with such lies I can barely breathe without you My chest is heavy, my heart is full
I want to be all that you need I can be, I can be all that you need I want to be all that you want Just let me try, I want to try I'll be your everything or let my heart die
I'm only here for two reasons To love you more with every passing season And write about the things that matter But these feelings keep spilling on this paper Like a ship with a thousand giant holes holes that let my love pour out 'Cause my heart can't hold it anymore I hope you're ready to pay the toll Return the love in the heart you stole.
6. If only the simplest things weren't made so hard By life and the bindings of fate but then, maybe love is not one of those and a heart's not that easy to take
My feelings are pure of that I am sure All I want is you here by my side I have found all I need though its so far away for these feelings my heart I do chide
I long to be close and feel your warmth Is a smile really so much to ask? To hold you near and hear your laugh That is my most sought out task Tho' now the miles may keep us apart They wont hold me for too long But maybe by then, I'll get done some work and finally write you that song
So untill that day when I can hold you in my arms I will only hope I'm not late It might just be me, but for you A life time is how long I will wait
7. Cinquain I walk My hands shaking We've been waiting for so long For this moment in time...when we Embrace
8. Triolet I've been waiting all my life to meet someone like you We may be far but out hearts are so close I love your smile, your laugh and all that you do I've been waiting all my life to meet someone like you It feels so great to hear you love me too We talked but once and you were what I wanted most I've been waiting all my life to meet someone like you we may be far but out hearts are so close
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