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 Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:48 pm
 It had been a great struggle. There had been a point in the midst of it all that the tired female had thought about giving up. But she knew that nothing could be done in order to take it all back. She had to go through this and face the pain, or else give up and let the world fall black. Instincts, however, kept her on track and she knew that, one way or another, she was going to be a mother.
After five hours of pushing and groaning in pain, Hallie managed to produce three pups. Her first had been a stillborn, unable to keep up its strength as it ventured for the outside world. It was after this that Hallie began to fret that the rest of her puppies would be dead as well. She had tried to eat right and had even gained a few pounds beyond the extra weight of puppies, but it seemed that it hadn't been enough. Her fears were stilled, though, when she pushed out the last two and they remained squirming and crying throughout the night. Once they had been cleaned and settled in, sleeping side by side, the seeress took the stillborn and buried it a ways away from the others. She hadn't even checked its gender, not wanting to get attached to something that would never be.
Returning to her pups, she curled herself around them protectively, watching the night turn to day through the entrance of her den. She remained that way for several hours, simply thinking. She knew all too well the survival rate of pups not born into a pack, and hers were severely hindered by the absence of a father. She reached out at that moment, mentally grabbing for said father's mental wavelength. She found it almost immediately, and was shocked by the proximity of the other. He was worried, that she was instantly aware of. But it wasn't the pups he was worried about. He was worried about Hallie, as apparently someone had told him that females could die in labor.
Hallie growled and broke off the connection, causing her pups to stir restlessly. She licked each one in turn, easing their fears. She wondered vaguely if she would allow her children in on her secret, or if she would keep them in the dark like their father. She supposed it would be safest to hide it until she was certain they could handle the secret.
There was, however, a more pressing matter. Darius was nearby, and she had picked up the impulse from him to check up on the seeress. She knew he would show up sooner or later. He had never been a patient wolf. He'd want to make sure that Hallie had survived. And then? Even having the ability to predict the future didn't help her to find the answer to that question.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:09 pm
Deep down, he knew that these pups were his, and that the right thing to do would be to play the fatherly role. He couldn't, however, bring himself to imagine him living life that way. He had always been the sloth and the glutton, lazy except for when there were pretty ladies running about. He was the womanizer, the guy that simply never settled down in one place. This just wasn't him, and despite what was the right thing to do, he continued to do the selfish thing. He'd stay away from these pups and keep out of their lives as much as possible. He knew that it meant losing Hallie, yet somehow he had come to terms with that. He could find another female, right? Of course, he'd have to make sure they were as willing to hunt for him and to put up with his laziness...
The wolf growled as his paws continued to dig a trench in the dirt with every pace. Things were just too damn complicated. He didn't know how this would all turn out, and he found that he couldn't completely turn away from the situation, as much as he wanted to.
"Damn it," he grumbled, ceasing his pacing in order to test the air. He knew that Hallie was nearby, but he knew also that she would attempt to hide her scent from any and all so that her pups might be safe. That, combined with the fact that Darius had really never done his own hunting, made it rather difficult for him to track her down. Yet by chance or mere luck, he stumbled upon her den. It was probably only because he heard the squealing of the pups within that he had found the place at all.
"Hallie?" he called gruffly, attempting to keep his worry hidden under the pretense of anger. "Hallie," he called again, breaking under it all. "Hallie, please tell me you're alright."
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:21 pm
Hallie sensed him coming far before she heard his pawsteps or scented him upon the wind. She braced herself, knowing that she had to keep her temper in check with the pups so close to her belly. They, more than Darius, would be able to sense her irritation and would respond to it in kind. She couldn't have her pups exposed to such dispositions before they were barely a day old. She, also, would have to keep Darius in check, as she knew that he could just as easily fly off the handle at the smallest hint of an insult.
When his voice called down the tunnel, the seeress at first didn't bother to respond. Instead, she turned her attention towards her puppies, licking their heads and checking once again that they were both breathing and healthy. Yet once his voice broke and he seemed rather desperate, Hallie found herself looking up at the entrance, ears falling back in shame. She knew that she had been torturing him these past weeks by ignoring him and essentially saying that it was over between them. Yet she felt that he had also brought it down upon himself. He had refused to step up and claim the responsibility of being a parent, and had acted childishly.
"I'm fine," she spoke tersely, holding back all her anger that she now felt towards him. Such innocent and helpless pups theirs were, and he couldn't even spare a thought on their behalf.
"What do you want?" she continued, teeth clicking together in warning to him. She made it perfectly clear that she wasn't taking any of his bullshit today. She had just birthed their first, and probably only, litter and she still hadn't slept. She was far too cranky to put up with him.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:34 pm
Darius was immediately aware of the tension in the air. He remembered vaguely his mother when she had birthed her two litters after his own, and took caution. Females could be very snappy if something was perceived as a threat to their puppies. He knew that he didn't mean any harm, but he didn't want these which were biologically his and that in itself could be threat enough as Hallie saw things.
"Well that's good," he spoke, letting his voice trail off. He found himself at a loss for words, not knowing how to respond to Hallie's sudden anger towards him. He forgot all that he had wanted to say. Perhaps it was that he hadn't come here to say anything at all, but rather to still his own guilt in making sure that she had made it through the birthing process. Now that he had found that out, he supposed it would be proper of him to make an exit. But her next words cut him deep, and he physically flinched at the acid dripping from her very words.
What did he want? To make sure that she was okay, that much he was certain of. But beyond that? He suddenly felt something stir within him, but he hadn't ever felt it before and wasn't sure what to think of it now. It couldn't be that he wanted to be a father to these pups, if only because he wanted Hallie back. That was shameful. He was a grown male, perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He didn't need some female waiting on him, even if it had been a nice luxury. No, he could certainly do without her, and without these new burdens that now lay suckling at her belly.
Suddenly thinking of an excuse, Darius narrowed his eyes but managed to keep his tone civil.
"How many are there?" The air around the den was a mixture of so many smells that it was almost impossible to tell how many puppies there were. Milk, afterbirth, and Hallie's own seething anger. It was all overwhelming.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:50 pm
Hallie had to admit that she felt rather smug after her anger had caught the male off guard. He deserved as much for the way that he had walked out on her so many weeks ago, when he had first found out that she was pregnant. She knew that he hadn't made the decision to leave her lightly, as he was a terrible hunter and he rather liked his food, which was precisely why it had hurt so much. He would rather starve himself than stick with her and help watch the pups every now and again. He should have known that she would have ended up doing most of the work anyways, as was usually the case with their particular arrangement.
She listened to his mind war with itself, stuck between wanting to leave the puppies and wanting to stay with Hallie. Even with being able to read his mind, she still couldn't understand why it was such a difficult decision for him. She knew that he loved her, but was his hatred for these new lives so strong as to override that feeling? She shook her head, giving up in her attempt to understand him.
When he asked how many puppies there were, she growled protectively. She knew that he was simply stalling and was grabbing for extra time; he wasn't actually curious about the number of children that they had.
"What does it matter to you?" she snapped, feeling protective over the squirming masses of fur nestled at her belly. "I'm sure as soon as you walk away from here you'll forget the number and gender of each one. Why don't you just spare us both the hassle and walk away now? Save yourself trouble and regret and just walk away. You're so good at that, aren't you?" she sneered, egging him on in a way that she had wanted to avoid originally. But she was too far gone now. He had angered her and now he would feel her wrath.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:57 pm
Once again the mossy male found himself at the mercy of the female's anger. He had asked a simple question and was rather confused as to why she had reacted so violently towards it. Surely a father had the right to know the amount of offspring his loins produced? Of course, he figured, he didn't exactly qualify as a father. After all, he hadn't wanted to be a father in the first place. So why was he suddenly claiming the title as if it were his? It wasn't, and he'd have to remind himself to simply stop. Hallie or no, he wouldn't be a father to these pupppies.
"I was just curious," he replied icily, fur bristling. "Why won't you just tell me?" he growled, taking a step towards the den. He hadn't wanted to know at first, but now that she had denied him the knowledge, he found that he rather wanted to find out. He could always force his way in, he knew, and count them himself. He was sure Hallie would try to stop him and would do so with physical force. But, then again, she had to watch out for her puppies. She couldn't simply lunge at him like she had that one day, so long ago...
Grinning to himself, he took another step forward, pacing himself so as to not alert her to his plans.
"Please won't you tell me?" he begged, sounding pained that she should deny him the information he so craved. "It's just a simple number. Surely it won't take but a minute of your time. Then I'll be out of your fur and on my way. You won't ever have to deal with this burden again." Playing the guilt card. That always worked, right? Hopefully it would work on her this time. She had to be fragile, right? Pregnant females and new mothers were always at the mercy of their hormones. Darius would simply play that to his advantage.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:20 pm
Darius thought that he was so sly. Pah!
The new mother growled warning to the supposed father at the first step that he dared to take towards her den. He didn't know, but she had read his mind and new his plan forward and back. She also knew that she wouldn't let him lay a paw within the confines of her den. He wouldn't even get within a foot of the entrance. She would make sure that, if he truly planned to physically force his way in, he would find that his paws would be missing before he could even think to try. Nothing would come in the way of her and her puppies.
"Don't you dare come closer. I denied you the right to know how many puppies there are, so deal with it. You didn't want to be a father to them anyways, so why do you care? For all you know they could all be dead and I could be playing a bluff." She knew that wasn't so, however, and knew also that he knew. He had heard the unmistakable whine of newborn pups and smelled, without a doubt, just a hint of their scent.
At the take of a few more steps, Hallie rose to her own paws and physically blocked the pups from this perceived threat. She was sure that he woudln't do anything to hurt the pups. Surely he wasn't that heartless. But she knew she didn't want her two little children to get caught in a scuffle if it truly came down to that.
"Why won't you just leave us alone, Darius?" she snarled, and the puppies whined their discontent. "Don't you see that we don't want you here? You've caused us all nothing but grief, so why don't you just disappear?" She knew that she was being harsh, but she felt that she had to in order for the message to get through his thick skull. He would continue to push his luck until she bothered to chase him away. He'd stay around as long as she would let him, so she had to make sure that he understood that she wouldn't allow him around for even a minute longer than was necessary.
The seer took another step towards the outside world, now able to see him through the bushes that surrounded the entrance of the den. She knew what was coming, and she hoped that he would change his mind suddenly and avoid the entire conflict. But, if there was anything she knew about him, it was that he was a stubborn a**.
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Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 12:05 pm
Darius had to admit that her anger was beginning to scare him. He had been expecting a reaction such as this one, but Hallie was taking things a step further. She was actually leaving her newborn pups in order to antagonize him. But perhaps that was just the thing he wanted her to do. With her outside of the den, he would be able to shove her aside with sheer weight, then he'd get to know how many puppies there were!
"Tsk, tsk," he scolded sarcastically. "You know you shouldn't go about talking like that, Hallie. What if something were to happen to one of your pups? Then you'd be sad that you ever mentioned them being dead." He wasn't trying to sound scary or to threaten the pups, far from it. He'd never lay a paw on them. Yet as the words left his mouth, he realized that it almost sounded as if he meant to do something to them. This stopped him for only a moment, however, as Hallie continued to advance. He wondered vaguely how far this would go, but shrugged mentally. What did it matter? They were already losing each other.
"I just want to know how many puppies there are!" he growled, attempting to skirt around her. Her words stung him a little, but he knew that she was only spitting them at him to make him go away. But he had been around her far too long to know when she was bluffing.
"Just let me see!" he growled again, this time lunging for the den.
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:32 pm
The father's lunging for the den was what had made the mother snap. She couldn't take his stupidity anymore. He was stubborn-headed, and he drove her crazy. He had been the one to walk out on her and the pups, yet now he didn't seem to want to leave them alone. She knew that he was trying to figure out how many puppies there were because she had denied him that knowledge, but she also knew that he was stalling. He didn't want to leave her, as much as he didn't like the fact that he had sired puppies. But she was through with him. She needed him to be a real father to these pups or to not be around them at all. She wouldn't have them confused their entire life about their parents.
So when he went for the den, she went for him. Their bodies met and for a moment she feared that he would topple over her, since he weighed at least twice as much as she. Yet she was quick of mind, and immediately grabbed the excess fur around his neck. Using the momentum of his thrust, she twisted herself and caused him to trip and fall towards the ground. There was a thud and a muffled groan.
Rising to her paws, the seeress glared down at him. She reached out her mind to his and concentrated hard enough to give him a slight migraine. There was another groan.
"You leave me and my pups alone, got it?" she growled. "We don't want anything to do with you anymore!" And with that, she spun about and retreated back into the confines of the den, back to her mewling newborns.
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Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:45 pm
Darius didn't know where he went wrong. One moment, he was lunging for the den, confident that he would find out how many puppies there were, and the next thing he knew he was sprawled on the ground with a raging migraine coming on. He was so bewildered that he simply lay there for a good five minutes, missing Hallie's retreat back into the den after her snarled words finalized the end of their relationship.
Groaning for about the twentieth time, the moss-colored male rose to his paws, shaking his head and apparently banishing the strange and sudden headache. He didn't have the wits to make a polite departure at that point, and instead turned himself back towards the den that housed Hallie and her undetermined number of puppies.
"Hallie?" he rasped, his throat suddenly feeling as if it were on fire and like he hadn't had a drink of water in a week. He shook his head again, wondering what the hell was wrong. But he figured he'd get over it soon. He usually bounced back from anything that plagued him. "Did you say how many puppies there were?" He paused, trying to think back. "I didn't catch it." He gave the dark entrance a lop-sided grin, as if Hallie herself were looking out at him. He thought about stepping forward, but something within the back of his mind told him that it wouldn't be smart of him to do so. For one, he was very dizzy. For another, Hallie was still pissed. At least he thought so.
"Haaaallliiieee," he whined, sinking to his belly before he ended up falling on his face.
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Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 7:29 pm
Hearing how persistent he was still being, the female growled deep and low. Her pups weren't so pleased with that, and showed their discontent by clamping down a little harder than necessary on her in their quest for milk. She winced slightly, but knew that she had more pressing problems. If she didn't get rid of Darius quickly, then her whole life would come crumbling down. Her resolve would vanish and she'd find herself in the same hopeless situation as before. Straight viciousness wasn't succeeding in driving him off, so she would have to try another line of attack.
"You are unbelievable, Darius!" she cried towards the entrance of the den, knowing very well that he could hear her. "I'm under so much stress right now, what with the new pups and everything. And yet you keep pestering me about trivial things! You think that the world is all about you, don't you? You think that everything just revolves around you, that everyone's mission in life is to give you exactly and everything that you have ever wanted. Didn't it occur to you that maybe you aren't the center of everybody's world? You certainly aren't the center of mine anymore. You may have been once before, but the moment you sired these puppies you placed the barrier that would forever grow between us! You think you can just come and get me back, because you think that everything is just that easy for you. You've always had the easy life!" She snarled the last words, and her pups trembled into silence. The mother found that she didn't quiet mind, her anger was that flaming and bright within her.
"If you had ever cared for me at all, you would have been with me when these pups came into the world!" Her words came out choked this time, as she fought back the real tears and the real depression that had been hovering over her for so many moons, threatening to break loose. "You wouldn't have abandoned them and me when it mattered the most. So you've made your decision, now live with the consequence! You. Will. Never. Be. Part. Of. Their. Life. EVER!"
The silence that stretched after her extended speech was immense, and if she hadn't been able to hear his mind right outside the den, she might have believed him gone for good. But she knew better than that. She waited, waited for him to sift through all that she had just yelled at him, and waited for him to make his final desicion.
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Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 9:09 pm
It was one thing to have her throwing words of hate into his face when she didn't mean it. It was quite another thing when her emotions swung in the complete opposite direction, turning to sadness and tears that seemed genuine. He knew that it must not have been the easiest of things, facing having puppies all on her own. He supposed that he had to take responsibility for abandoning the pups and, as a result, abandoning her. She was right when she said that if he had cared for her at all, he wouldn't have left. He would have stepped up to the plate and been a father to these puppies even if he didn't exactly want them. He had claimed to be Hallie's mate and to love her, yet he left her hanging when it mattered the most. He was a sorry excuse for a father, and an even sorrier excuse for a mate. He didn't deserve her, he realized then, and he suddenly knew that he had to leave her now. He had made his decision long ago, and it was too late to ever take it back.
"Hallie," he whispered, nearly whimpering. "Please, if there is anything that I can do.." His voice trailed off. He knew that there wasn't ever anything that would exist that would be able to make up for his behavior towards her. He hadn't acted like an adult at all. For all that he had said and done, he could have been a pup and it wouldn't have made a damn difference. He ruined both of their lives, and he had been completely seflish about it. He had done what he wanted, running away from responsibility so that he wouldn't have to stop being lazy.
What had he done?
"Hallie," he whimpered again. "I'm so sorry. I know it can't really make up for anything, but you know that I'm sorry, right? I mean... maybe I can try. Or..." He trailed off again, knowing that he probably wouldn't live up to his word. When did he ever? Those pups were probably better off without him, anyways. He wouldn't be able to teach them anything other than to mooch off of others and to be completely useless in adult life.
Such a sorry excuse for a father.
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 7:33 pm
He had finally figured it out. Through all of his childish behavior and selfish thoughts, he finally figured out the message that she had been trying to get through his thick skull. He couldn't have it both ways. He had made it very clear long ago that he didn't want these pups, and that he didn't wish to be a part of their lives. The only reason he came back at all was because he thought that he loved her. But his actions proved otherwise, and he was only just realizing this. Yet even though Hallie had known this from the very start of her pregnancy, it still broke her heart to have to go through this right now.
Perhaps it was all the stress from her pregnancy combined with Darius' actions that had finally pushed her into depression. But perhaps it was simply just heartbreak. Usually, females found themselves elated and ecstatic when their pups arrived. The seer couldn't exactly say she was overjoyed, but there was a sadness intertwined with what was supposed to be happiness. She had gained puppies and fulfilled her instinct to procreate, but in the process she had lost the love of her life. Selfish, childish, lazy, gluttonous fiend that he was, she had still loved him. And it wasn't going to be easy letting him go and getting over him, if she ever did.
But she knew that she couldn't dwell on these facts for very long. She had newborn pups to take care of and, if she planned to do it alone, she would have a long road stretched out ahead of her. She would have to balance feeding herself and feeding her pups, as well as protecting them from any potential threat. Of course, she had her seer powers to aid her in that, and so she felt that she already had a one-up, but that didn't take away the mother's dread that was simply instinctual.
Licking each of her pups clean, and attempting to calm them in the process, Hallie barely heard the words coming from the would-be father. She had shut off her mental and physical hearing, not wanting to pain herself any more than she absolutely had to.
Instead, she focused solely on her pups. They were her life now.
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:07 pm
No reply.
Darius couldn't tell whether it was because she was having a meltdown, or whether it was because she was simply done with him. He supposed that he couldn't blame her, after all that he had put her through. It was amazing that she had even given him the time of day today, although he figured that he sort of forced himself on her. She had, after all, hidden her den and done all that she could to keep him out of it. Remembering that, he also recalled that he never got to know how many puppies there were. It was better that he not know, probably. Hallie most likely saw that long before he did, and that's why she had tried to keep him out. He wasn't ever going to be a father to them, so why should he even know how many there were?
Hanging his head, he let out a whimper. He had the strongest urge to creep towards the entrance of the den, and to just peek at the puppies. But what if Hallie had her back turned and was guarding the pups? Yet, he thought, that would leave her vulnerable. She wouldn't be able to attack anyone that way.
Ugh, what did it matter? Darius shook his head, then let his ears fall back and his tail droop. He had lost the only wolf that had ever truly cared for him, aside from his mother, and now he was on his own. He lacked hunting skills. He lacked social skills. He lacked any type of skill whatsoever. But, that was his own fault. He had chosen, and these were the consequences.
One more whimper, and then he turned around and fled. Where he was going, he wasn't sure. But then, it didn't really matter. He had ruined his life. He had ruined Hallie's life. He had ruined everything between them. Nothing else mattered now.
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