******** your’s.” Jewel sat across from him at the café, her blouse neatly pressed, her ankles crossed. The daughter of his father’s business associate.
Also Elzo’s worst girl friend ever. Well, second worst girl friend ever. She had power. She had money. She had-
“I’m telling you, it’s your’s.” Flame red hair was pinned into a neat bun atop her head. Dark red eyes bore right into his blue ones, only with the intensity of someone who was willing to kill to get what she wanted.
Part of their break up. She wanted power, she wanted his forever.
He just wanted a good lay.
“Bull s**t and you know it Jewel. It’s been over 3 months since we last saw each other. Three. Months. God, I’m not stupid. It’s impossible. No, wait, it is, you’re right, mistakes can happen.” Elzo had never made this mistake. EVER. It was one mistake he never made. Or so he thought.
“I haven’t been with-“ Elzo’ coffee cup slammed on the table, empty.
“Now THAT is crap. You open your legs to the biggest meatstick around you. ‘No other guy’ would be a lie. You were ******** who else at the time? Me, Marcus, Drake…maybe a few others from the party, I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care.” He groaned. “It’s not mine. We made sure.” A small part of him twitched. She supplied the protection. He didn’t. She could have…Jesus.
“Are you meaning to tell me you never took the pill that night?” His voice was a hiss.
Red eyes narrowed. “Mom and dad were getting impatient. Your dad had been setting you up. I was going to be put out to older men Elzo. I was running out of options. You or someone like fat, old, Mr. Ergot. I made the sensible choice.”
“You used me.” His face was in his hands. This couldn’t be real.
“You or them. I picked you. Best money, best profits, and, closest to my age. You’re sensible Elzo.” Honeyed words. “You ******** well enough, you have your own morals. You sure as all hell know mine. It’s a solution to both our problems.” Jewel, ever the business woman, even when thinking from between her legs.
“And if I say I’m in love?” This didn’t faze her.
”Keep a mistress, keep several. So long as no bastards show up I don’t give a s**t.” Elzo wanted to throw up. “How do you even know-“ papers scattered on the table. Names, tests…results.
“Every guy I slept with, all negative…all but you.”
“….Henry?”
”A girl can’t be to careful. And you said it best. ‘Biggest meatstick’ after all.” She smirked.

She had won.
“So, Elzo Xanis, how does it feel to be a father?”
----------------------

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
He woke up screaming, before his head hit ceiling with a 'THUNK'. Cursing Elzo looked around.
He was in his dorm room.
Alexis was peering over the edge of the bed, confused.
Jewel was no where neaby.
Picking up his phone, number dialed, frantic.
Four rings.
"Hu..Hello?"
"JEWEL?"
"Elzo? What is-"
"ARE YOU PREGNANT?"
"What? You woke me up to ask me if-" Silence at the other end. "Elzo."
"Yeah? So, is it mine?"
"No. It's Henry's. I told you a month ago. We got married just yesterday......Did you have one of those dreams that I told you I was pregnant again?"

Elzo's scowl could be heard. He was scowling that hard.
"You are sometimes such an idiot Elzo Xanis. One prank, one, and it haunts you forever. I don't have time for this." She sighed. "Good NIGHT."

Elzo rolled onto his side. Looked at his ******** Aprils Fools.