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 Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:13 pm
This one time I am not afraid of it
For yet again I hate my horrid self
And once again I feel the fire burn
Deep within my gut, it grows like cancer
My hate burns like a torturous fire
Each wave of heat burning into my face
For once, I will face this blackest monster
The one I myself have caused and hand-fed
And I shall curse and beat this greedy mind
I walk this valley just to block the view
But soon I will end this painful mirage
Now I am faced with myself in this place
And I stand before the shattered mirror
As my blood drips from these shard-shredded hands
Jolted awake at my feelings and shame
I see your blade-kissed neck in clarity
So I take the only path among pain
A thorn-littered path leads to my exile
And I gladly walk, my feet thorn-riddled
For I am the wretched villian whom rose now
In this settled dust, I made rise agian
I, The Tyrant, will never trouble them
And my ripped and lacerated corpse
Will never die, for it is a sad thing
That bottom-feeding vultures own dead hearts
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Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 11:21 pm
I enjoyed the darkness of the read. Though, I was always taught, by my grandmother no less, to try and not to use the same imagry, or descriptive words too often. It starts to bog the writting down, and the lines start to blurr, so each one is no longer unique. For example, the word burn, in the beginning of the poem.
And while I find the ending intriguing and gripping, I had to read it twice to get the feeling of what happened. So, the ending is still a little confusing, and I imagin that I know what you were going for, but am not certain.
I do have a question however, your quote is almost word for word from your poem, and yet you have it marked as not your quote. I don't understand? I don't imagin you are plagerizing, so, did you just not wish for the recognition? Sorry, this is all just jecture on my part. Though, I am curious.
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Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 1:21 pm
heh heh, yeah. i took that part from a song...
in fact i used most of my vocabular from songs, but that is the closest i came to an actual song... it just fit. anywho, i only did this to try and jolt the guild. for it has been going through a dead phase, but apparently no more. but yeah, i used that in the blank verse. as for what it meant, i have an idea, but it is free to be interpeted in any way, it is poetry after all.
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 5:30 pm
A very interesting read. just out of curiosity, what inspired this poem?
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Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 10:01 pm
A horrid attemp at a relationship... I did seem to rant a bit about when it went it went wrong, but by the end I think I captured the feeling...
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