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[Q] Sailor Athene, Senshi of Beads (old quest) Goto Page: 1 2 3 [>] [»|]

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litian

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 4:09 pm


Well I wasn't going to do this sweatdrop but then I came up with this idea and couldn't resist.

Note to self: Beads have been around for thousands of years. Wikipedia link

Further note to self: Athene is an alternative name for Athena who was the Greek goddess of civilisation, wisdom, strength, strategy, craft, justice and skill.

How does this link to beads?
- Beads have played a major role in society, culture, ornamentation and trade for thousands of years. I thought the culture, ornamentation and trade aspect could link to the fact that Athene was a goddess of civilisation and craft.

Athene is also a main belt asteroid - 881 Athene [x]
PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:40 pm


School kid info

Name: Arian Emelyn Laith (birth name). Pretty much everyone will know him as Andrian Laith however.

Nicknames:
- Andy (so much nicer than Andrian)

Age: 17

Birthday: February 11

Sign: Aquarius

Blood Type: O-

Favourite food: Saffy's cookies (in particular her sugar encrusted molasses spice cookies) and mini cupcakes (the more sprinkles the better)

Hated food: mayonnaise and canned tuna

School: Meadowview

Hobbies:

Jewellery-making - It started first as a fascination with beads... One of Arian's lasting memories is of the strings of beads worn by Nain. There wasn't any sort of design to them - most of them seemed more like a jumble of wooden, silver and crystal beads inter-mixed with the odd bits of feathers as well as acorns and small pine cones that she had threaded herself. Nain never seemed to mind when Arian played with them and always seemed to have a story about where she'd found each component.

Arian's attempts at jewellery making didn't really start until the age of 14 however. At first this was pretty much stringing together some beads on a piece of string in the secrecy of his room - ironically mirroring the jumble of beads that his Nain was always wearing. Later, as he started to experiment more his pieces started to improve – instead of being little more than some beads stuck on a piece of string they actually started to look pretty.

After self-teaching himself some wire-wrapping techniques from a mixture of working through basic tutorials available online and the odd book hired out furtively from the library; Arian’s pieces started to gain more of an elegant feel to them. Now, after almost 3 years, he's pretty good at it – or at least the customers that buy from the online shop (that he runs with his cousin) seem to think so.

Arian prefers to work with silver (usually sterling), crystal and wooden beads. As he hates working with what he deems 'artificial' materials however plastic is most certainly out.

Despite experimenting with other materials outside of silver, crystal and wood (for example he also quite likes working with gemstones) those three materials have remained his first love and a lot of his designs usually have at least two out of the three in them. He prefers making feminine jewellery over masculine jewellery, finding masculine jewellery a little too chunky and 'clunky' for his tastes.

Friends of Arian may occasionally be gifted with a handcrafted charm, although he'd try to make out that it was just a design he'd been experimenting with.

Though he'd probably deny it if it was pointed out to him part of his love of making jewellery is because it reminds him of happy times with his beloved Nain.


Window shopping - ...Well okay, specific window-shopping. Looking at display windows of clothes and shoes does nothing for Arian and looking at sports gear bores him.

Arian likes to go window shopping for the following things primarily:
- Jewellery
- Things that could potentially be made into jewellery
- Cupcake displays - especially displays of mini cupcakes Cupcake window shopping = guilty pleasure - Guys aren't supposed to like stuff like that

Arian's love of window shopping mostly feeds into his jewellery-making hobby, as looking at displays of jewellery in order to get ideas for his own jewellery designs is one of his favourite things to do.

This doesn't mean that Arian will simply wander down to the most exclusive jewellery store in town and just admire displays dripping with diamonds and sapphires; he can be just as inspired from looking at jewellery on display in those odd little craft-type and fair trade shops, or admiring crystal beads at the charity shop.


Despite the fact that crafting jewellery is Arian's major hobby and he spends a great deal of time on it Arian does have some other hobbies. This leads to:

Reading - Arian loves curling up with a book and spending an hour or so immersed in a good story. As neither Arian nor his cousin have a lot in the way of space, Arian tends to go to the local library to read.

Arian thinks that libraries are great since he can indulge in a good read and doesn't have to worry about books permanently cluttering up his space at home (which is mainly devoted to his jewellery-making supplies).

While at the library, Arian often checks out the odd book of things to do with jewellery. Anything that catches his interest is usually photo-copied so he can take it home and experiment with it – a recent example being his attempts at making his own beads from polymer clay after stumbling across a library book on the basics. (Okay so he's not that good at actually making his own beads just yet... But give him time - he'll get there!)

Arian also likes reading fantasy stories (he actually prefers fantasy over other genres of books), as he enjoys escaping for a stolen hour or so into the world of the storyteller. When reading about adventures in made up worlds he uses the time to avoid dwelling on things happening in his everyday life – these can be small things such as trying to keep his grades up at school (he’s an average student) – or larger issues such as the mess that’s his family life. He likes stories with happy endings – there’s enough unhappy endings in real life without having to read it in fiction.

It is for that reason that he also hates reading stories based on true life events. Those sort of stories happen in the real world and if he wanted to know about what's happening in real life – well that's what watching the news or reading a newspaper is for.

Reading for Arian in a way tends to be more of a temporary escape from the outside world than anything else.


Running - Arian took up running as a way of trying to please his grandparents (his grandfather in particular). After all running is a 'manly' sport is it not?

Somewhere along the line Arian realised that he actually liked running - not competitively or anything - but because when he's out running he can let his thoughts drift.

Arian finds that running is a great distraction when you want to get away from things for a little bit since while he's running he doesn't have to think about little things such as keeping his grades decent at school.

It's also a good way of getting himself out of a funk (unless he's really miserable) and hey - if he runs in the park - then at least he can admire the greenery.


Gemstone: Amethyst


Virtues

'I don’t expect you to be perfect because nobody’s perfect' – Arian tends to see things in shades of grey when it comes to people’s abilities. He won’t stick you up on a pedestal or idolise you or get angry at you for making mistakes... Because guess what we’re all just human. This makes Arian a pretty easy person to be around as he will neither expect nor demand total perfection from you.

When involved in team work Arian is the sort of person who is pretty good at working out the team’s capabilities (his own included) as he doesn’t have any unrealistic expectations of what the team can achieve.

This attitude has its roots in the seven or so years that Arian spent living with his grandparents which has had a large impact on him. During the period of time with his grandparents, Arian spent a long time trying to live up to their expectations of the perfect grandson - and failed miserably - there were several reasons for this - from his looks, to the fact that he wasn't into the sort of 'manly pursuits' that his grandfather thought that a boy his age ought to be.

The long and short of it is that having experienced the hurt first-hand of trying to reach some sort if impossible pedestal, somewhere down the line Arian turned into someone who refuses to inflict that sort of hurt on anyone else.


'I'll keep your secrets' - If you tell Arian something in confidence it will remain in confidence.

Arian is so very, very careful of the secrets of others because of the fact that he feels that he’s living a pretty big secret himself - in the form of the fact that the name he's using is not his name.

It's kind of sad that currently out of the six people who know that Anthony is not his real name, two are dead, one doesn't seem to care less about him, two hate his name and he hasn't seen the last since around the age of 10.

There is another reason why he’s so careful of other people’s secrets and that’s because deep down he likes the fact that people trust him enough to share their confidences with him. He’s unlikely to admit to this second reason – however it seems to have meant enough to him to ensure that he's kept all the secrets that's been shared with him to himself.


I wonder what I’ll get if I try combining this technique with those materials’ (Creative) - Arian is good at taking a few basic things and combining them to make something new. He loves coming up with designs that are different and unusual and is happy to experiment with different styles when making his jewellery.

An example of this is when he made some earrings out some sealant-stiffened washi paper folded into small cranes and combined them with tiny Swarovski crystal beads in colours chosen to compliment the patterning on the paper, or that time when he came across some small delicate-looking oval metal loops in the local hardware store and used a fine metal chain to dangle a crystal-shaped heart in them.

On the occasions that Arian is out window-shopping, it is not unusual for him to have a small notepad and pencil with him to sketch out ideas and/ or jot down colour combinations to try out later and he's quite good with coming up with ideas to try. He is also totally the type of person who doodles little sketch designs in the margin of his exercise book when he's bored in class. He usually does it in maths class as maths isn't exactly his strong point.

Outside of the jewellery making Arian likes experimenting with things to find out their limits (he likes doing chemistry experiments because of this – although he’s not as keen on doing the homework aspect).

His creativity however, is mostly employed in the design of his jewellery as that is perhaps his biggest passion.


I’ll stand by those important to me as best I can’ (Supportive) – It may be surprising to those who don’t know him, but Arian can actually be quite supportive in his own way to those he considers important to him. It’s not support in an ‘I will take the fall for you’ type of way, nor is it support in an ‘I will agree with you no matter what’ type of way. Rather it’s more of an ‘I will support you to the best of my ability and try to be there for you’.

If you are important to Arian, then although he won’t make a big deal about it, he will stand by you as best he can. This can mean anything from him waiting after school for a friend, to following them into situations that he thinks are dangerous and would be unlikely to venture into on his own – because he doesn’t want them going alone.

It is important to note that Arian’s support is to the best of his ability, but as he is also very unreliable it can work out quite limited. If he’s around, great, two sets of hands can certainly be better than one and he won’t ever consciously leave someone in the lurch. The problem starts when say he’s promised to be somewhere on a certain day – but ends up turning up late because he’s got caught up in something else. Or the cases when he’s missed a phone call asking for his help with something because he was in the middle of doing something ‘interesting’.


Flaws

'Was I supposed to meet you at 5 today?' (Unreliable) - Be it a new piece of jewellery that he's putting the finishing touches to, or a fantasy story that is extremely gripping, Arian can get so caught up in the thing at hand that it completely slips his mind that he's probably supposed to be somewhere else right now.

Saffy can attest to this - considering that she knocks him up every morning on a school day and pretty much bundles him out of the door to make sure he gets to school on time.

If Arian says he he'll meet you at five, then he could turn up ten minutes past, or half past five or even six. There has been occasions where he hasn't turned up at all.

This could cause problems if you need to get hold of him urgently for some reason or another, as, when caught up in something that interests him Arian is very effective at filtering out the outside world. This could lead to him easily managing to miss phone calls – unless you’re prepared to try calling multiple times on the off-chance that phone ringing eventually penetrates – he’ll swear blind that he never got your call. In cases where he does manage to answer the phone, you’ll probably get told that he’ll be there in around ten minutes or so. Although whether he turns up in ten minutes is another story altogether.

It's not that he means to stand you up and he's always apologetic if called out on it. Fortunately he’s been lucky in that so far his unreliability has not led to someone important to him getting hurt. If it ever did, then Arian would feel gutted and it would feed into his guilt complex. Depending on how badly they were hurt it could even potentially feed into the more severe end of his guilt complex.

The usual solution to Arian’s unreliability is pretty much corner him and 'drag' him along. This is probably very frustrating.


'I’ll keep your secrets, but don’t expect me to share mine' (Trust issues) - Despite coming across as friendly enough in a kind of polite way - that's pretty much all that most people will get out of Arian. He will smile at you and say good morning in class and work on class projects cheerfully enough... But he won't really talk about himself, or his interests or the fact that he's the creative side of Creations in Silver and although he'll keep your secrets. Heaven forbid that he actually shares any of his own with you.

Despite having some pretty serious trust issues it’s not impossible to get underneath the surface of friendly politeness that Arian hides behind in day to day life. This does not for moment mean however that he will make it particularly easy for you either. Arian’s the sort of person who tends to second guess other peoples' motives, looking for the hidden meaning behind their behaviour (even if none actually exists). It also means that he has a hard time reaching out to other people outside of a purely superficial context.

This behaviour seems to have had its roots in the period around the deaths of his mother and sister, after his father pretty much abandoned him by dumping him on the parental grandparents. Having said parental grandparents go on to later wash their hands off him hasn’t served to help matters any either. Even Saffy - to whom he at least feels a small sense of gratefulness towards for taking him in is not exempt – he’s already mostly convinced himself that she's only really did it because of the jewellery making.


I know I look like a girl, you don’t need to rub it in' – Unusually for someone, who, at 17 hasn’t managed to grow beyond 5’3” Arian is relatively cool about his height.

He does however have an issue about his looks or more specifically about the fact that he looks girly enough to pass for a girl. Hey it’s not his fault that he seems to have inherited most of his mother’s genes and long hair does not a girl make!

Mistaking Arian for a girl is the surest way to be greeted by a polite if frosty ‘I beg your pardon’.

Actually teasing him about it?

Well if you really want to push his buttons then go ahead.

At first he’d mostly try and ignore it, that ingrained politeness you see.

Inside however, it would burn him, and he’d get more and more steamed up the more the teasing continued.

Eventually he’d get fed up enough to find some way of making you feel miserable back. Okay so it’d mostly be something small - something hard to trace back to him.

So what if it’s petty? Sometimes politeness can only go so far.


'Better bad things happen to me than someone else’ (Guilt complex)/ ‘Yes it’s all going ok... But how long can that last' (Other shoe syndrome) – Even when things are going well, Arian finds it hard to just relax and be happy. He’s the sort of person who actually feels guilty when good things are happening to him as opposed to other people.

Deep down Arian feels that that anything bad should happen to him. Note this doesn’t mean he actively wants bad things happening to him – it’s more of an ‘if bad things must happen, then better they should happen to him rather than someone else’ sort of thing.

Partly this can be linked to the poor image that he has of himself (he is not the sort of person who’d be able to stand in front of a mirror and list 10 positive things about himself), mostly however this leads back the unresolved guilt he feels over being the one who survived the car crash that killed both his mother and his sister.

Intertwined with the guilt is a sort of ‘other shoe’ complex - in that part of Arian often waits for the other shoe to drop. So what if everything's going fine right now - it won't be long until the next bad thing happens.

To Arian the ‘next bad thing’ is usually something he sees as hovering nebulously around the corner.

If someone important ended up getting hurt because of something he did (or did not do) or lost something of significance then Arian would feel gutted. The guilt felt would also feed into his guilt complex which would lead to periods of himself beating himself over the head about it. In severe cases this could trigger the more extreme side of his guilt complex. In those circumstances Arian would become very withdrawn, likely to shut himself up somewhere while he wallows in guilt. This period of time can range from a few hours to (in the most extreme cases) anything from most of a day to a few days.


Physical description:

Eyes: Grey with a few flecks of green if you look closely enough and slightly tilted like a cat.

Hair: Raven black. Worn in a style similar to this: [x] - number 199, but with a 'chunkier' braid along the lines of this [x] - number 149.

Face: Arian has a slight smattering of freckles across his nose. His face is heart-shaped with a perky nose and lips that are slightly thin.

Height: Arian's short for a guy, standing at a total of 5'3"

Colouring: Pale (but not unhealthily so)

Build: Slender with a slight, feminine-looking build.

Weight: Slightly underweight for his age and height although not seriously so.

litian

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litian

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:23 pm


Senshi info

Senshi: Sailor Athene, Senshi of Beads


Challenge: 'Your defeat will be crafted with my beads.'

Fuku: I'd like to leave the design completely up to Natsu


Attacks:

Attack 1: Athene's Beaded Sun

Drawing on some of his energy Sailor Athene directs it at an ally.

The energy takes the form of a sun-like pattern (something like this: link), before forming a single strand of 30 mixed beads that tries to wrap somewhere round the ally's arm.

As each second passes a bead fades away and once the last bead fades the attack ends.

The beads restores a little of the energy of the ally while they are operational - i.e the ally would get a small energy boost.

Duration: Once active this attack lasts for 30 seconds (1 post), but there has to be a 2 post interval before he can use it again.

Notes: Athene can use this attack to buff an ally three times in one day. If Athene chooses to he can use the attack on the same ally.

Limits:
1. Athene cannot use this attack on himself

2. Athene can use this attack on guardian cats, but not when they are in cat form

3. Athene cannot use this attack on a member of the Negaverse or civilians (even if he would want to do so)

4. If the beads can't wrap themselves round the arm of an ally then they disappear and the attack fails. The two post interval then kicks in before Athene can use the attack again.


Attack 1b: Athene's Beaded Sun of Revitalisation

Drawing on some of his energy Sailor Athene directs it at an ally.

The energy takes the form of a sun-like pattern (something like this: link), before forming a single strand of 30 mixed beads that tries to wrap somewhere round the arm of the ally.

After every 2 seconds a bead fades away and once the last bead fades the attack ends.

The beads restores some of the energy of the ally while they are operational (more than in the senshi attack) - i.e the ally would get a stronger energy boost.

Duration: This attack lasts for 1 minute (2 posts), but there has to be a 4 post interval before he can use it again since he's using more of his energy.

Notes: Athene can use this attack twice in one day to buff an ally. If Athene chooses to he can use the attack on the same ally.

Limits:
1. Athene cannot use this attack on himself

2. Athene can use this attack on guardian cats, but not when they are in cat form

3. Athene cannot use this attack on a member of the Negaverse or civilians (even if he would want to do so)

4. If the beads can't wrap themselves round the arm of an ally then they disappear and the attack fails. The four post interval then kicks in before Athene can use the attack again.


Attack 2: Athene's Righteous Beads of Might

For this attack, Athene closes his eyes and claps his hands together sharply while drawing on his energy.

As Athene slowly draws his hands apart the energy takes the form of a chain of beads in his hands.

There are 108 large beads in all (107 of the beads are the same size, the 108th bead is larger and a dark jade-green tassel hangs from this bead).

Focusing on the beads Athene can direct the energy within the beads towards up to three allies within a 3 metre radius of himself.

While Athene is holding the beads, the affected ally or allies will receive a boost in strength making them temporarily stronger.

Duration: This attack lasts 1 minute (2 posts).

Notes:
1. Athene can only use this attack once in one day - this attack takes half his energy to use and using it more than once would cause him to pass out.

2. Athene is vulnerable while using this attack as he must be holding the beads for the attack to work.

3. The beads are quite large and therefore quite heavy and so although Athene can move around while holding the beads his mobility will be affected.

4. The beads will disappear after a minute, at this point the attack ends.

Limits:
1. The strength boost received depends on the amount of allies this attack is used on:
- For 1 ally it gives a strength boost of +1/2
- For 2 allies it gives a strength boost of +1/4 each
- For 3 allies it gives a strength boost of +1/6 each

2. Athene cannot use this attack on himself.

3. Athene can use this attack on guardian cats, but not when they are in cat form.

4. Athene cannot use this attack on a member of the Negaverse or civilians (even if he would want to do so).

5. Athene must be able to see the ally if he wants this attack to affect them.

6. If for any reason Athene drops the beads before the minute is up, then they will disappear and the attack will end.


Other notes
As Athene's attacks come from his own energy they don't stack very well. I kind of pictured that he'd be able to use it as follows:

1. Senshi attack
Three times per day with a two post limit in between

1a. Super Senshi attack
Two times per day with a four post limit in between
or
He can use his Super Senshi attack once and his Senshi attack once per day with a two post limit in between

2. Eternal Senshi attack
Once a day (since it takes half his energy, using it more than that would cause him to keel over xd )
He can use his Senshi attack once in addition to his Eternal attack, but it would leave him pretty tired
PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:57 pm


Nationality

British (His father is English and his mother was Welsh)


Fashion:

Arian likes jeans paired with a casual top when he's not in school uniform. He also wears an earring (one of his own designs) in his right ear. Similar to one of these: [x]. Since he is short sighted Arian also wears a pair of glasses with a slightly-battered black frame which are somewhat crooked and have a tendency to slip down his nose.


Other Character quirks

’Polite’ - After seven or so years of having politeness literally drummed into him (rudeness being a pet peeve of his grandmother) Arian has turned out very polite.

This means that if he needs something from you, he'll make sure to have a 'please' somewhere in the request and if you choose to do that something for him then he'll remember to thank you for it. To give an example - this is a guy who will hold a lift for you, even though it's on the other side of a turntable that you've yet to go through.

As a sidenote to this he also hardly ever swears - this is not to say that Arian never swears, but rather that this is unusual and he would have to be either extremely upset or extremely shocked.


’Hopeless budgeter’ - Some people are good with money and some people just aren't. Arian falls into this latter category and unfortunately for Arian he doesn't come from a family where money is no object.

An example of this is the online shop 'Creations in Silver'. Saffy deals with all the business side of things and there is a reason for this.

Even if Arian was so inclined (he's not), then he'd probably bankrupt them in a week (fortunately he's happy with doing the creating side - after all it allows him to indulge in his love of making jewellery).

Okay so he's not that bad, but you get the general idea.

Arian is the sort of guy who, if you gave him $30 for the week, would somehow manage to spend it all by day 2.


'Not a leader' - Arian does not want to be in charge - Arian hates being in charge. In school projects he's quite happy for someone else to act as the lead and just work on whatever has been delegated to him and he is very unlikely to volunteer himself for a leading role.

In part this is because being in charge equates to having to take on extra responsibility and that equates to plain hassle. In part it’s because he dislikes the limelight. A lot of it, however, is due in no small part to the fact that Arian doesn't see himself as being good enough to be in charge.

litian

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litian

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:01 am


Family

User Image

Father: Jonathan Laith
About 5’10” with dark red hair cut short, dark brown eyes and freckles Jonathan Laith was before the death of his wife a generally easy-going man, if a little on the serious side with a quiet but off-beat sense of humour.

Not the sort to really jump into things he was devoted to his wife who was six years younger than him.

Although originally from the southwest of England, Jonathan has practically lost his Bristolian accent as he’s spent many years living in London.

After Seren’s death, Jonathan became withdrawn and cold, unable to cope with his son who reminded him painfully of the wife he no longer had. After two years of trying to bring up his son, he sent Arian to his parents and buried himself in work. About the only contact he now keeps with his son are in the form of infrequent stilted letters and the cheques he sends for his son’s maintenance.

Arian has inherited his freckles from Jonathon.


Mother: Seren Laith (nee Griffiths) - deceased
Born in North Wales, Seren Laith was short (about 5’2”) but pretty with her raven-black hair and unusual green-flecked grey eyes. She met Arian’s father while in London and married him two years later.

Seren was very vibrant and outgoing. Arian has inherited his hair colour, slender build, feminine features and slightly cat-like eyes from her. It’s likely he inherited his height (or lack of) from her as well since his father is tall. She had a tendency to see the best in people no matter who they were and was, something of a chatterbox.

Arian remembers his mother whispering good night to him in Welsh when tucking him up in bed and it’s from her that he remembers the odd welsh word or phrase. In his memories Seren was always giving him hugs and smiling.

Seren's pet name for Arian was fy bach gwreichionen (my little spark)


Sister: Catherine (Catrin) Laith - deceased
Arian’s younger sister who was four at the time of her death, she looked very much like their father inheriting both his red hair and freckles. Both siblings inherited their eyes from Seren.

Arian’s memories of her is of someone who was rather annoying (as in she’d play with his toys or break things and get him in trouble) but was cute and had a nice if mischievous smile.

Catrin used to call Arian Spakky, probably as a side result of his mother calling him her little spark.


Granny: Ariana Griffiths (aka Nain)
Arian’s grandmother on his mother’s side and the person he was named for.

Nain looks very much like Seren, with the exception of the fact that her hair is mostly grey.

Nain adored both Arian and Catrin and was very much the doting grandmother. Like Seren she was quite a vibrant person (although a little eccentric) and she was full of tales about ancient Wales and what she called the old magic. Arian hasn’t seen her since he was sent to live with the parental grandparents at age ten.

Nain's pet name for Arian was cath fach (kitten)


Grandfather & Grandmother: Peter and Elizabeth Laith
Arian’s grandparents on his father’s side and the people with whom he was living before being sent to live in Destiny City with Saffron.

Arian found living with them quite hard as neither of them were inclined to show any affection towards him and although they kept a roof over his head, the last thing that either of them wanted to do was to bring up yet another child and they made sure that Arian was kept constantly aware of it.

It was after living with them that Arian started being called Andrian - neither grandparent ever acknowledged his birth name - maybe due to their dislike of both Seren and Ariana which is something Arian has never understood and has never quite dared ask about.

Arian put up with it as he didn't feel he could argue with them as they were essentially putting a roof over his head.


Cousin: Saffron (Saffy) Laith
The daughter of Arian's father's older brother. Saffron - or Saffy as she's better known by - has known Arian since he was 15.

Having seen something in the bits of jewellery that Arian was coming up with, she coaxed Arian into setting up 'Creations in Silver' - an online shop specialising in ladies earrings and bracelets - with her a year later.

It's something that's worked well with Saffy running the shop and Arian coming up with the pieces for sale.

When Arian fell out with his parental grandparents - after they caught him kissing a fellow male student from school - Saffy suggested Arian come and live with her.

Saffy is about 5'6" (5'8" in her heels) with slightly curly strawberry blonde hair, dark brown eyes and freckles.
PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:13 am


History

Arian’s life can roughly be split into three parts – before the accident, after the accident and the period with the parental grandparents.

+ Before the accident

Up until the age of 9, Arian was a pretty well adjusted kid in a pretty unremarkable family – happily married parents; bratty, but cute little sister and a granny he adored.

During that time his favourite food were the hand baked welsh cakes that Nain made.


+ After the accident

Shortly after his 9th birthday, Arian’s world changed when a drunken driver ploughed into his mother’s car as she was driving them home from school, killing both his mother and sister.

Arian’s father changed after the death of his wife and daughter, becoming distant towards his son – too locked up in his own grief to really be able to cope with a son who looked so much like the wife he adored.

After a year in which Arian was mostly looked after by Nain, Arian’s father gave up on even pretending to parent his son and – deciding that his parents would be better guardians than the somewhat eccentric Nain – pretty much dumped Arian on them.

Inter-mixed with all of this was Arian's own grief and guilt over his mother and sister's deaths (something that has never gone away) and it was in this period that crystallised the belief that his father was pushing him away because of the accident - because it was all his fault.

Arian feels that if he’d remembered to bring his 'show and tell' presentation with him rather than leaving it in class, then they would have left school on time and the accident would never have happened. A strong part of him also feels that things would have been better for everyone all round if he had been the one to die in the accident.


+ Parental Grandparents

Living with the parental grandparents was not particularly easy. Neither grandparent had wanted to bring up yet another child and both impressed on the young Arian that they were only deigning to do so in his case because of familial duty.

This was especially pertinent in Arian’s case because they had never approved the match between Arian’s parents – his grandmother Elizabeth in particular – had wanted Arian’s father to marry the daughter from the family of a friend and has never forgiven Seren nor Ariana for as she sees it ‘stealing’ her son away from them. Not that Arian has ever been aware of the full reasons behind his grandparents' dislike towards his mother and granny – more that it would have been pretty hard to miss the animosity directed in their direction.

During the time spent living with his grandparents, Arian tried his best to be the perfect grandson to both of them.

He took up running and tried harder at P.E. in an attempt to please his grandfather because his grandfather wanted to him to be more 'manly'.

With his grandmother, he pitched in at chores around the house, tried his best in school work and tried to be the politest little boy ever in his attempts to please her. He even eventually stopped begging to be allowed to visit his Nain.

It was during this period that the name change from Arian to Andrian came about. Okay so mostly his grandmother was the driving force behind it, but it’s not like Arian particularly fought her over it. Partly it may have been an attempt to garner her approval, mostly though it was a way of trying to bury his feelings over the past.

Making jewellery was pretty much one of Arian’s few bits of rebellion against his grandparents – a hobby that at first was pretty much conducted furtively and treated more like a guilty secret rather than a hobby. It was only when Saffron, his cousin, took notice of it that he really started being more open about it.

Arian kept trying to please his grandparents and his grandparents put up with him until he was caught kissing Hilary Carter near the school entrance. The prospect of having a ‘fairy’ for a grandson the last straw for both grandparents.

At first talk was mentioned of sending Arian off to boarding school somewhere to complete his A-Levels, but after Saffron offered to have Arian, it was agreed that he would move to Destiny City and go live with her.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:20 am


Other notes

1. Unless Arian told you (or you had access to his birth certicate somehow) then you'd know Arian as Andy or Andrian. Even Saffy calls him Andy. (for convenience I've refered to him in this quest as Arian because that's his birth name)

2. Arian can pass for a girl and being softly spoken doesn't help either. Arian dislikes this - it's not his fault that he seems to have inherited his mother genes in almost their entirety - so no he's not going to pass himself off as a girl (no cross-dressing).

3. Arian is gay, but in the closet. This is mostly due to the fact that getting caught by his grandparents kissing another boy led to his grandparents essentially washing their hands of him which is why he is now in Destiny City. His grandfather - Peter - was especially acrimonious towards Arian and their falling out has had an impact on Arian.

4. Why Senshi:
- Arian quite frankly isn't cut out for a para-military operation - which if I've read it right - is the lines on which the Negaverse is run.
- The Negaverse are hurting people by stealing their starseeds and the cause of why so many people are ending up in the hospital. Arian wouldn't want to be a part of any of that.
- Arian is a card carrying coward - I doubt Charonite is will want someone like that in his organisation
- Although a self-admitted coward, Arian will try to protect those close to him to the best of his abilities, even if it means forcing himself to go against his instincts to flee from danger. I think that as he develops as a character Arian has the potential to get braver - at the very least if he becomes part of a team - then he won't want them to get hurt even if that means 'shudder' going into something dangerous. I doubt he'll ever be happy about it though.


5. Why Beads as a sphere?
Beads have been around for thousands of years. From the bits of research I've been doing beads have been around for at least 100,000 years

6. Please note that although Athene's attacks take the form of beads, he is not summoning them - they are being created out of his own energy.

7. I kind of vaguely drew on the notion of over-sized prayer beads when tweaking Athene's final attack

8. Stuff in white are potential ideas that I'll look into properly if I need to majorly change anything (made small for space purposes).


This section not being used at present

9. Potential senshi and super senshi attacks if attacks are too similar.
Attack 1: A net made up of beads (I was thinking small seed beads) used to try and tangle up the enemy. Not the strongest thing (seed beads are fragile) - more of a distractor). Disappears after 30 secs
Attack 1b: He can now make a larger net (can tangle more than one enemy as long as they're not too far appart) same weakness as senshi attack
The net would look something like this [http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/kaze1981/INOTM stuffs/BeadNet.jpg]

10. Another potential senshi and super senshi attack kinds of plays on beads being used for trade

Attack 1: Drawing on some of his energy Sailor Athene directs it at a target.

If the energy connects it winds round the target and forms what looks like beads of cowrie before disappearing (this takes about 30 seconds)

It's at this point that the 'trade' is deemed to be made

Effect: For 30 seconds Athene will gain one of the following positive skill boosts from the target (strenth, speed or dodge)

However the target will gain a positive skill boost from Athene (strenth, speed or dodge) - one of the two that Athene doesn't gain

E.g. it would play something like this:
1. Athene manages to use this attack successfully on a youma
2. After 30 seconds Athene gets boost in strength and the youma gets weaker
3. Youma gets a boost in speed and Athene gets slower
4. After 30 seconds the attack ends - Athene loses the extra strength but goes back to his normal speed and the youma loses the extra speed but goes back to its normal strength

As the attack is fairly strong he will only be able to use it once.


Attack 1b: Power up of senshi attack and works the same way, however attack moves faster so slightly harder to dodge.

Athene can now use this attack twice hooray! However there'll need to be a three post interval before he can use it again.

11. Yet another potential senshi and super senshi attack
Attack 1: Creating and using his beads to lay a curse on an enemy - like curse beads (though will need to dig out some info on this).

If attack hits it will lower enemy's accuracy slightly for 30 secs/a post (a debuff).

In rp terms if it hits the enemy would be hit with a bout of minor clumsiness - which may cause them them to botch their attack (roll a 1d4 die to determine this? If get a one then attack misses?)

Two post limit would apply in between attacks. Use 2/3 times a day?

Attack 1b: Power-up of Senshi attack. If curse hits then enemy would be hit with a bout of clumsiness - which may cause them them to botch their attack (roll a 1d4 die to determine this? If get a one or two then attack misses?)

Four post limit would apply in between attacks. Use 2 times a day?

Or alternatively he can use this attack once and his senshi attack once with a two post limit in between
PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:24 am


Concept Art

Civvie chibi pic commissioned from Omi


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Civvie chibi pic commissioned from ruina

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:15 pm


Old Stuff

Dumped stuff goes here

Senshi info

Senshi: Sailor Athene, Senshi of Beads


Challenge: 'My beads will aid us in victory.'

or 'By Athene's beads, I'll craft our victory.'

Fuku: I'd like to leave the design completely up to Natsu


Attacks:

Attack 1: Athene's Beads of Refreshment

Drawing on some of his energy Sailor Athene directs it at an ally.

The energy takes the form of a bracelet made of twenty carved beads of oak round the ally's wrist.

As each second passes a bead fades away and once the last bead fades the attack ends.

While the bracelet is round the wrist of the ally it restores a little of their energy - i.e they get a small energy boost.

Duration: This attack lasts for 20 seconds, but there has to be a 2 post interval before he can use it again.

Notes: Athene can use this attack to buff an ally three times in one day. If Athene chooses to he can use the attack on the same ally.

Limits:
1. Athene cannot use this attack on himself
2. Athene can use this attack on guardian cats, but not when they are in cat form
3. Athene cannot use this attack on a member of the Negaverse (even if he would want to do so)


Attack 1b: Athene's Beads of Revitalisation

Drawing on some of his energy Sailor Athene directs it at an ally.

The energy takes the form of a bracelet made of thirty carved beads of oak round the ally's wrist round the ally's wrist.

As each second passes a bead fades away and once the last bead fades the attack ends.

While the bracelet is round the wrist of the ally it restores some of their energy (more than in the senshi attack) - i.e. they get a stronger energy boost.

Duration: This attack lasts for 30 seconds, but there has to be a 4 post interval before he can use it again since he's using more of his energy.

Notes: Athene can use this attack twice in one day to buff an ally. If Athene chooses to he can use the attack on the same ally.

Limits:
1. Athene cannot use this attack on himself
2. Athene can use this attack on guardian cats, but not when they are in cat form
3. Athene cannot use this attack on a member of the Negaverse (even if he would want to do so)


Attack 2: Athene's Beads of Reinforcement

Drawing on some of his energy Sailor Athene directs it at an ally.

The energy takes the form of a bracelet made from thirty beads of banded agates and garnet (15 of each).

As each second passes a bead fades away and once the last bead fades the attack ends.

While the bracelet is round the wrist of the ally it will give them a boost in strength making them temporarily stronger.

Duration: This attack lasts 30 seconds.

Notes: Athene can only use this attack once in one day as it takes a heck of a lot of his own energy.

Limits:
1. Athene cannot use this attack on himself
2. Athene can use this attack on guardian cats, but not when they are in cat form
3. Athene cannot use this attack on a member of the Negaverse (even if he would want to do so)


Alt. Attack 2: Athene's Beaded Horn of Reinforcement

For this attack, Athene draws on half of his energy, after which he can choose to either direct it towards up to three allies or use it on himself.

The energy takes the form of what looks to be a beaded animal horn, before forming a single strand of mixed beads that either wraps round Athene's own arm or tries to wrap somewhere round the arm of each ally.

This time the beads will stay wrapped round the arm of either Athene himself or each ally for the full minute before fading away. At this point the attack ends.

While the bracelet is round the wrist of the ally it will give them a boost in strength making them temporarily stronger.

Duration: This attack lasts 1 minute (2 posts).

Notes: Athene can only use this attack once in one day - as this attack takes half his energy to use, using it more than once would cause him to pass out.

Limits:
1. The strength boost received depends on the amount of allies this attack is used on:
- For 1 ally or Athene himself it gives a strength boost of +1/2
- For 2 allies it gives a strength boost of +1/4 each
- For 3 allies it gives a strength boost of +1/6 each

2. Athene can use this attack on guardian cats, but not when they are in cat form

3. Athene cannot use this attack on a member of the Negaverse or civilians (even if he would want to do so)

4. If the beads can't wrap themselves round the arm of an ally then they disappear and the attack fails. In the case of multiple allies if the beads can successfully wrap themselves round the arm of the other ally/ allies then that part of the attack succeeds.


Manners maketh the man - Arian is polite, some might say almost extremely so (this is a guy who will hold a lift for you, even though it's on the other side of a turntable that you've yet to go through). If he needs something from you, he'll make sure to have a 'please' somewhere in the request and if you choose to do that something for him then he'll remember to thank you for it.

He also hardly ever swears - this is not to say that Arian never swears, but rather that this is unusual and he would have to be either extremely upset or extremely shocked.

This has its roots in the time Arian spent living with his grandparents - rudeness being a pet peeve of his grandmother in particular - the end result being that five years later Arian has had politeness literally drummed into him and it has stuck.

Put it this way - even if he does not like you Arian will still be polite to you.

How this would work when he's Sailor Athene: Athene will generally be polite to you. Even if he really, really dislikes you then he will be polite to you. He would have to either extremely upset or extremely shocked for him to overcome the ingrained need to be polite.


Card carrying coward - Arian likes his skin thank you very much and he wants to remain in it (also known as in Arian's mind as having a healthy sense of self-preservation).

This means that Arian is not the sort to put himself willingly into danger - this is not to say that he'll always avoid situations that are dangerous - if he's with someone and they drag him into a situation that's knowingly dangerous then he may follow along (depending on who you are) albeit with extreme reluctance... And he'll let you know it's with extreme reluctance.

Leave Arian to his own devices and he's more than happy to put in a tactical retreat.

There is an exception to this - and just the one - if you are someone important to Arian like a friend or a relative - then this can override Arian's need to flee. This is not to say that he won't try to run away, but if he does then he will force himself to come back.

Put it this way Arian will tell you himself - he is not cut out to be a hero - in reality that's usually the best way to get yourself killed.

How this would work when he's Sailor Athene: As a senshi the exception would eventually stretch to also cover team members if Athene ever landed on a senshi team. In addition to forcing himself to come back Athene would most likely call for backup - less chance to get killed safety in numbers and all of that


School kid info

Name: Arian Emelyn Laith (birth name). Pretty much everyone will know him as Anthony Laith however.

Nicknames:
- Ant or Tony (he'll answer to both)
- Ari or Rian - currently not applicable as he's still going by Anthony at the moment
- fy bach gwreichionen (my little spark) - Seren used to call him this
- cath fach (kitten) - Nain used to call him this
- Spakky - Catrin used to call him this

Age: 17

Birthday: February 11

Sign: Aquarius

Blood Type: O

Favourite food: Saffy's cookies (in particular her sugar encrusted molasses spice cookies), mini cupcakes and welsh cakes (he's not had welsh cakes in years)

Hated food: mayonnaise and canned tuna

School: Meadowview

Hobbies:

Jewellery-making - It started first as a fascination with beads... One of Arian's lasting memories is of the strings of beads worn by Nain. There wasn't any sort of design to them - most of them seemed more like a jumble of wooden, silver and crystal beads inter-mixed with the odd bits of feathers as well as acorns and small pine cones that she had threaded herself. Nain never seemed to mind when Arian played with them and always seemed to have a story about where she'd found each component.

Arian's attempts at jewellery making didn't really start until the age of 14 however. At first this was pretty much stringing together some beads on a piece of string - ironically mirroring the jumble of beads that his Nain was always wearing, but later as he started to experiment more his pieces started to improve... Instead of being little more than some beads stuck on a piece of string they started to look pretty.

After self-teaching himself some wire-wrapping techniques from some programs online, his pieces started to gain more of an elegant feel to them and now after almost 3 years he's pretty good at it. Or at least the customers that buy from the online shop (that he runs with his cousin) seems to think so.

Arian prefers to work with silver (usually sterling), crystal and wooden beads, he also quite likes working with gemstones although he hates working with what he deems 'artificial' materials so plastic is out. Arian has drawn on a variety of difference influences when crafting his pieces for example nature, abstract shapes, the four main elements... What his pieces have in common is the fact that they have an elegance to them.

Arian prefers to make feminine jewellery over masculine jewellery since he finds masculine jewellery too chunky and 'clunky' for his tastes.

Despite experimenting with other materials outside of silver, crystal and wood those three materials have remained his first love and a lot of his designs usually have at least two out of the three in them.

Though he'd probably deny it if it was pointed out to him part of his love of making jewellery is because it reminds him of happy times with his beloved Nain.


Window shopping - ...Well okay, specific window-shopping. Looking at display windows of clothes and shoes does nothing for Arian and looking at sports gear bores him.

Arian likes to go window shopping for the following things primarily:
- Jewellery
- Things that could potentially be made into jewellery
- Cupcake displays - especially displays of mini cupcakes Cupcake window shopping = guilty pleasure - Guys aren't supposed to like stuff like that

Arian's love of window shopping mostly feeds into his jewellery-making hobby, as looking at displays of jewellery in order to get ideas for his own jewellery designs is one of his favourite things to do.

This doesn't mean that Arian will simply wander down to the most exclusive jewellery store in town and just admire displays dripping with diamonds and sapphires.

Although he does like looking at precious stones, Arian is just as happy to look at jewellery on display in those odd little craft-type and fair shops, or admire those crystal beads in that old charity shop.


Despite the fact that crafting jewellery is Arian's major hobby and he spends a great deal of time on it Arian does have some other hobbies. This leads to:

Reading - Arian loves curling up with a book and spending an hour or so immersed in a good story. As neither Arian or his cousin have a lot in the way of space, Arian tends to go to the local library to read.

Arian thinks that libraries are great since he can indulge in a good read and doesn't have to worry about books cluttering up his space at home (which is mainly devoted to his jewellery-making supplies).

Arian prefers reading fantasy stories over other genres of books, as when he reads about adventures in made up worlds - for at least that moment of time - he doesn't have to think about the fact that he'll never be the sort of grandchild that his grandparents want or the fact that they - like his father - have effectively abandoned him... Not that Saffy isn't cool, or Arian doesn't appreciate the fact that she's letting him live with her but it doesn't takes away from the fact that his grandparents have pretty much washed their hands off him, his father doesn't seem to want much (if anything) to do with him or (in his opinion) that even Saffy herself only took him in because of the jewellery that he makes.

For that reason he hates reading stories based on true life events as they are stories that happens in the real world - if he wants to know about what's happening in real life... Well that's what watching the news or reading a newspaper is for.

Reading for Arian in a way is more of a kind of temporary escapism than anything else.


Running - Arian took up running as a way of trying to please his grandparents... After all running is a 'manly' sport is it not?

Somewhere along the line Arian realised that he actually liked running - not competitively or anything - but because when he's out running he can let his thoughts drift.

Arian finds that running is a great distraction when you want to get away from things for a little bit since while he's running he doesn't have to think about little things such as keeping his grades decent at school.

It's also a good way of getting himself out of a funk and hey - if he runs in the park - then at least he can admire the greenery.


Gemstone: Amethyst


Virtues

'I don’t expect you to be perfect' – Arian tends to see things in shades of grey when it comes to people’s abilities. He won’t stick you up on a pedestal or idolise you or get angry at you for making mistakes... Because guess what we’re all just human.

This attitude has its roots in the five or so years that Arian spent living with his grandparents which has had a large impact on him. During the period of time with his grandparents, Arian spent a long time trying to live up to their expectations of the perfect grandson - and failed miserably - there were several reasons for this - from his looks, to the fact that he wasn't into the sort of 'manly pursuits' that his grandfather thought that a boy his age ought to be...

The long and short of it is that having experienced the hurt first-hand of trying to reach some sort if impossible pedestal, somewhere down the line Arian turned into someone who refuses to inflict that sort of hurt on anyone else.

How this would work when he's Sailor Athene: Well for a start this Senshi is not going to idolise you - which means no sticking people up on pedestals. Nor will he turn on you for making mistakes since he’s not going to expect or demand total perfection from you. If on a team he’ll be the sort of person who will work out the team’s capabilities (his own included) and won’t have any unrealistic expectations of what the team can achieve


'I'll keep your secrets' - If you tell Arian something in confidence it will remain in confidence.

Arian is so very, very careful of the secrets of others because of the fact that he feels that he’s living a pretty big secret himself - in the form of the fact that the name he's using is not his name.

It's kind of sad that currently out of the six people who know that Anthony is not his real name, two are dead, one doesn't seem to care less about him, two hate his name and he hasn't seen the last since he was 12.

There is another reason why he’s so careful of other people’s secrets and that’s because deep down he likes the fact that people trust him enough to share their confidences with him. He’s unlikely to admit to this second reason – however it seems to have meant enough to him to ensure that he's kept all the secrets that's been shared with him to himself.

How this would work when he's Sailor Athene: Well at least you wouldn't have to worry about this Senshi sharing your secrets


Creative - Arian is good at taking a few basic things and combining them to make something new. He loves coming up with designs that are different and unusual and is happy to experiment with different styles when making his jewellery.

An example of this is when he made some earrings out some sealant-stiffened washi paper folded into small cranes and combined them with tiny Swarovski crystal beads in colours chosen to compliment the patterning on the paper, or that time when he came across some small delicate-looking oval metal loops in the local hardware store and used a fine metal chain to dangle a crystal-shaped heart in them.

On the occasions that Arian is out window-shopping, it is not unusual for him to have a small notepad and pencil with him to sketch out ideas and/ or jot down colour combinations to try out later and he's quite good with coming up with ideas to try.

Arian is also the type to doodle little sketch designs in the margin of his exercise book when he's bored in class (usually maths class as maths isn't exactly his strong point)

Arian's creativity is mostly employed in the design of his jewellery as that is perhaps his biggest passion.

How this would work when he's Sailor Athene: As a senshi Athene would probably try experimenting with his power to find out its limits, he also wouldn't just rely on his powers when in battle, but would probably look around to see if there was something in his surroundings that could be used to help him out (as a side note - this would most likely be primarily in the name of saving his own skin)


Flaws

'Was I supposed to meet you at 5 today?' - Unreliable. Be it a new piece of jewellery that he's putting the finishing touches to, or a fantasy story that is extremely gripping, Arian can get so caught up in the thing at hand that it completely slips his mind that he's probably supposed to be somewhere else right now.

Saffy can attest to this - considering that she knocks him up every morning on a school day and pretty much bundles him out of the door to make sure he gets to school on time.

If Arian says he he'll meet you at five, then he could turn up ten minutes past, or half past five or even six. There has been occasions where he hasn't turned up at all. Which can be a real bummer if he's promised to do something for you.

It's not that he means to stand you up and he's always apologetic if called out on it.

It doesn't make it any less frustrating though.

How this would work when he's Sailor Athene: If you've arranged to patrol with Athene after school then don't expect that he'll necessarily turn up at the time that he agreed. Fortunately most times he will turn up - albeit usually late - however there may be times when he doesn't turn up at all. One solution to this is to pretty much corner him and 'drag' him along with you.


Neither a leader nor a follower be... - Well at least the 'not a leader' part is true - he is quite happy to follow (depending on what the situation is).

Arian does not want to be in charge - Arian hates being in charge. In school projects he's quite happy for someone else to act as the lead and just work on whatever has been delegated to him and he will not volunteer himself for a leading role.

In part this is because being in charge equates to having to take on extra responsibility and that equates to plain hassle... But the other part is due in no small part to the fact that Arian doesn't see himself as being good enough to be in charge.

This may be indicative of self-esteem issues but Arian is not likely to admit that to himself if that's the case.

As Arian sees it some people are cut out to be leaders. He is not one of them.

How this would work when he's Sailor Athene: If on a team Athene would be happy enough to follow along after the leader (as long as it's not something patently dangerous), but take charge? That's a no no.

Being delegated something is fine, he'll work at it cheerfully enough. Being expected to step into the leadership position? No. That's what a Team Captain's for after all.



'Trust issues' - Despite coming across as friendly enough in a kind of polite way - that's pretty much all that most people will get out of Arian. He will smile at you and say good morning in class and work on class projects cheerfully enough... But he won't really talk about himself, or his interests or the fact that he's the creative side of Creations in Silver and although he'll keep your secrets. Heaven forbid that he actually shares any of his own with you.

It's not that no one can get underneath the surface of friendly politeness, but rather that Arian finds it very hard to let people in anymore. This has its roots in the death of his mother and sister and his father's virtual abandonment. Having his parental grandparents wash their hands off him has not helped either. Even Saffy, who he's grateful to for taking him in is not exempt - as he feels that she's only really doing it because of the jewellery making - being in the family as she is however means she just happens to know some of his secrets.

There is an exception to this however - Arian can't bring himself to mistrust a kid (the younger the child the better, although anyone 12 or under would fall into Arian's interpretation of a kid).

Arian sees kids as innocents and the kind of people who you'll always know where you are. A lot of this is because of his sister. This would also apply to anyone who could pass for around 12 or under.

How this would work when he's Sailor Athene: Despite the friendly politeness, Athene will find it just as hard to let it people get any further than that and even though he probably won’t say anything out loud he’d question the motives behind any attempts at friendships expecting that there is some sort of ulterior motive beneath it – that is you want something from him.

However the inability to mistrust anyone who fits Athene's notion of a 'kid' could potentially prove to be a real weakness to him - if Athene was facing someone who looks like a kid in combat he would be sure to let his guard down and underestimate them - to his own detriment.



Physical description:

Eyes: Grey with a few flecks of green if you look closely enough and slightly tilted like a cat.

Hair: Raven black. Worn in a style similar to this: []x] - number 199, but with a 'chunkier' braid along the lines of this [x] - number 149.

Face: Arian has a slight smattering of freckles across his nose. His face is heart-shaped with a perky nose and lips that are slightly thin.

Height: Arian's short for a guy, standing at a total of 5'3"

Colouring: Pale (but not unhealthily so)

Build: Slender with a slight, feminine-looking build.

Weight: Slightly underweight for his age and height although not seriously so.
PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 12:46 am


Crit~

(Warning: This post is huge. I do very big, detailed crits. I try to make them helpful, though, so don't be put off by the size! It just means that I thought your idea has enough potential to put in that much work to help it along!)

As a character, Anthony has been designed with a lot of diversity in traits, but I think that he might lack a defining concept to pull him together. His jewelery-making is his most defining trait, but there's not much that helps us to understand why or how he got into it. That being the case, the character feels diffuse instead of varied; his direction is confused, and it prevents him from being polished up the way that he needs to be.

The hobbies are well-chosen and, for the most part, well-explained. What is arguably his most important hobby, though, hasn't been well-constructed. Why did he choose to start making jewelery? What drew him to the hobby, and what benefits does he get from it? What sort of things does he draw on for inspiration (nature, abstract shapes, time periods, etc.), and what sort of customer base does he cater to (gothic, punk, etc.)? Because this is such a big part of his character, a lot of thought needs to be put into what this means to his character, and what it illustrates about him. Take the time to develop it carefully.

Reading through the personality traits, admittedly, I wasn't blown away. None of the traits seemed to be developed beyond the bare basics, and as a result, the character seemed to lack depth. A lot of what I got from these traits was less "this is how the character sees and interacts with the world", and more "this is a word I would use to describe the character." To try and illustrate this: In the I Will Keep Your Secrets trait, all that you wrote was that he didn't tell secrets and people could trust him. This leaves us wondering, why? What about him makes him so careful about secrets? Is it because he's protective of his own; is he afraid to upset people; does he get some sort of pleasure out of being trusted; is he writing a tell-all book that he plans to release in fifty years? We can't even hazard guesses to his motivations based on what's there right now. It is, plainly, insufficient communication at this point - but luckily, it's one that can be easily remedied with a bit more work. Look at what you have again and ask yourself, for each trait, why; write from inside the character, concentrating on the core values that they hold and what it is that makes those values important to them, and work from there.

One more thing that surprised me was how escapism is cited as a reason for both Anthony's reading and running hobbies, but then is not supported in his personality section. If it's important enough to mention twice in his hobbies, then it should be important enough to develop as a personality trait, right?

As an aside: I think that Creative is a very necessary trait for this character, so I wouldn't get rid of that one if I were you. It just needs more development!

I was sort of bothered when I noticed that you'd written up the same traits twice for the civilian and senshi sides. While I like that you took the time to address those personality traits in terms of what they mean to him as a senshi - it's important that people have an idea of what that means - it's inconvenient to read, and will probably make things difficult on the quest stampers as well. Especially since some of them say essentially the same thing, you should really try to combine the traits into one place so that they're easy to read.

Now, moving onto the Senshi half! First thing I've got to say is that I love the idea of a Senshi of Beads. That was the entire thing that drew me in to look at this quest, actually; I really think that the idea is clever and interesting, and I want to see what you can do with it!

The durations on the attacks all seem to be way too long. Try using D&D standards; every round (post) takes up something around ten seconds of time, give or take, and battles generally don't last a super long time when you get right down to it. The way that the attacks are structured right now, Athene would be able to fire non-stop through most battles he engages in, assuming he didn't get involved in more than one a day (which most days, he wouldn't); that's rather extreme.

I was wondering about his first two attacks: Do the beads remain in the area after they're fired? They can add a complicating element to the battlefield, forcing enemies and allies alike to watch where they're stepping so that they don't slip on the beads, so I think that it would be an interesting addition if they did remain. It might also be worthwhile to figure out approximately how many beads he can produce with each attack in the case that they can remain, because there's some clever situational things that you might be able to do with them depending on the amount you can produce.

I'm not fond of his eternal attack at all. It seems too contrived and limiting, and way too powerful; against larger youma (or humans that unsuccessfully attempt to dodge), a human-sized chunk of quartz could do insane amounts of damage to drop on a person. Quartz weighs 2600kg/m^3; I'm a bit fuzzy on my math right now, but I think that's something like 70 times as dense as a person? So dropping a human-sized hunk of quartz on someone is something like dropping a car on their head. Beyond that, it doesn't really channel any sort of "essence" of what a bead is, but only uses its physical form to force a brute attack that wouldn't be replicated in any practical situation you could imagine beads in.

I would seriously consider taking this attack from scratch and looking for a new direction. Try thinking more along the lines of what beads symbolize and what they mean culturally; look to their use, and try to develop combat uses based on that. You've taken an unusual approach with this senshi, making their attacks so offensive for a sphere like this, and it might be difficult to retool the attacks so that they make better sense so that they're not just utilizing beads physically, but in their essence as well. I think that it would really make your character something spectacular if you could find a way, though, so I encourage you to give it a try! If you want to continue along the offensive theme, try to find specific cultural references or symbolisms that would connect them to wartime. It's hard for me to picture exactly what it is you can do at this point, but there's so many neat things that I'd love to see you use in these attacks! For example, read up on "story necklaces" on this page; it seems like there's got to be something you can do with those, but I'm pretty stumped on how to make it offensive. If you don't mind breaking away into more of a support-type character, though, another (more abstract) idea might be to research the kinds of beads that warriors might have adorned themselves with in battle and research the symbolism behind them, and possibly create strands that Athene or an ally can wear to buff their abilities?

Anyway - all in all, I think you've got a really interesting character in the works here, and a quest that could be nothing short of fascinating. There's some more development that the character needs, though. What it has right now seems like a very basic sketch of a character; it's time to start filling in the details, splashing in some color, creating a unifying mood that will make the character lively and unique! Sink some more time in order to expound on what you have, dig into some research to support your senshi attacks in more ways than just using beads as an attacking force.

Good luck!

Arrien


litian

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:31 am


Hi Arrien, thanks for the crits it's really helpful.

I figured that I still have a fair deal to do with Anthony before he becomes remotely near to reality, but at the same time want to know that I'm at least going along the right lines a little.

I'll start on working on fleshing out his character when I get back home tonight.
PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 11:18 am


I definitely think that you're going along the right lines, so don't worry about that! All the schoolkid concepts for sure seem like good concepts for the sort of character you seem to be building him toward; they just need more to them. 3nodding

Arrien


litian

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:24 pm


I'd love some more crits on just the school kid part of Arian as I'm too tired to work on the Senshi part tonight.

I've tried to flesh out Arian's virtues and flaws and expanded on his hobbies following Arrien's suggestions and taken the flaws and virtues out of the senshi part and given them its own section.

Will start thinking on some potential senshi attacks tomorrow when I'm more awake smile
PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 12:38 pm


I've come up with some new attacks for Arian based on re-working him into a support senshi, I'd love some crits on them to see if they work better than the initial ones (and I'm not stepping on the toes of other sphere users with them sweatdrop ).

Also updated other notes with why those particular beads were picked.

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Dark_Musashi

PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 1:13 pm


Are the first two attacks a buff (geek comparison: raising STR) or a healing effect (restoring HP)? I would be careful to not have all your attacks centered around healing, and there's already a canon senshi whose sphere (Healing) only allows her that.
If it's a buff, well, great. biggrin
By the way, can Athene use these attacks on himself too? Can he buff the same person more than once this way?
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