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 Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 9:01 pm
I really like my mate's friend (Adrian) and he likes me back too, but doesn't want to go out with me just yet because he says that he has too much going on at the moment that he doesn't want me to feel like he's always putting me second.
Adrian said that once these 'problems' are delt with, that he'd tell me and then we can go out.
Adrian is really shy and won't make a move either. Although he keeps telling my friend (Aaron) that he really likes me, he won't tell me to my face. Like the other night we were out on a date and afterwards Adrian walked me back to my car and was standing that close, I thought that he was going to kiss me. I was going to kiss him, but because I know how shy he is, I didn't want to scare him off.
Because I have no other guy that I am interested in, I'm waiting for him. But now that because I seriously think that me and Adrian would be good together, but because of our ages, if we do go out, what is the best way to approach him about telling him that I'm a virgin? (I'm 20 and he is 21)
Usually I don't have a problem with telling guy's this, but the ones that I do tell, they are friends, not ones that I would like to one day be with.
I know that he isn't a virgin as that's what my mate said and also he was with his last girlfriend for around three years (they broke up nearly a year ago now).
Aaron said that Adrain would never pressure me into anything that I am not yet comfortable with, but even if he doesn't say or do anything, I know I will feel like I have to have sex with him. It's like I'm pressuring myself, and I'll feel worse about it if I don't tell him about me being a virgin.
We are seeing each other again this Friday night at Aaron's 21st party, but I don't want to confront him about this too early, it won't be until we are actually going out. On Friday I just want to confront him about his 'problems' and find out what they are and how I can help him with it. So I have time to figure out what I can say, how and when (if we eventually get together), I just want to be prepared.
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:09 am
Meh... from what it looks like, Adrian's "problem" might be that he's still involved with his ex. I don't mean in a relationship still.. but maybe sleeping with her still. I've known several guys who have done that. The best thing to do is if you really wana know is to just ask. If it seems he's still doing things with his ex... then maybe he isn't the type you should go after. Guys who go on dates and act interested in other girls while being involved with another woman (not dating even, just a friends with benefits thing) will usually continue this behavior no matter who's involved.
When I started with my boyfriend four years ago, I told him I was a virgin about the point where we became more sexual and started into oral gratification. Don't let the situation get to the point (in any relationship) where the man is poised to penetrate and you're saying "Oh, by the way, I'm a virgin".
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 1:49 am
My ex and I knew we were both virgins, and told each other so.
With my current boyfriend, I think we had told each other our "status" before officially going out, so it wasn't ever really an issue.
If he's still involved with his ex, as Lilacwolf said, it might be better to wait. Or if you're both too shy to even tell each other that you like the other person, or that you want to kiss, then maybe telling each other your "virginity status" can wait awhile. Let both of you get up the courage to talk to each other before worrying about being romantic and intimate.
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 6:45 pm
Totally random thought but heres a idea "im a virgin" works amazing on those guys down at the y tey jump all over me....but seriously just tell him plane and simple chances are if this guy is asshy as you say he is he is still one to....bet if he is it would make it a whole let easier on the both of ya's
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 4:45 am
It was kinda the same for me with my ex. He knew i was a virgin and hadnt done anything sexual with a guy before but he still expected me to be like all his other gf's who hadnt been virgins. I just went along with it even though i wasnt too comfortable about it. I'm still a virgin though (luckily, dont want to regret my first time) and i've realised that it's best to just straight out tell them. If he really liked you then it wouldnt bother him. Also, he might be a virgin aswell, even though he had a gf for 3 years and his friend says he's not one. Has he ever said he's not to you, he may just be nervous or whatever about telling people too.
Sorry if this isnt any help but thought i'd just try and help atleast
xD
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 2:49 am
Yep, best to just come out and say it, BELIEVE me....
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