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| Is the writing forum too mean? |
| Yes |
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19% |
[ 4 ] |
| Maybe |
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42% |
[ 9 ] |
| No |
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38% |
[ 8 ] |
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| Total Votes : 21 |
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 Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 2:32 pm
Ok ok before I start getting flames let me explain:
Since I got flamed in the writing forum I dont really like it all that much (have you beent here lately? I mean they are just rude). This is a thread where you can post (beggingers are reallly wanted to post) your work, without fear of it being flammed.
RULES
1. Please you common curtasey (i.e. if someone says something good about it, thank them.)
2. Constructive critism. Like say something good about the piece then tell them what was bad or vis versa. Just don't say its good: say why its good. (or if its bad, why its bad) And how to improve.
3. keep it PG, dont want this getting deleated by the moderators.
4. Please try and edit the work.
5. try and have fun while working on your skills heart Writing is fun and should be shared by all ^^
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:31 pm
Once upon a time.... thats all i got sweatdrop stare sad xd
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 10:25 am
Ending her cries
I looked into her eyes
I got lost in their Depth
A glance into the future
Revealing the secrets she kept
For so many years she cared too
Yet we were both afraid to say
We Avoided each other completely...
Every time, simply another day
She cried to me one night.
"Please help, I don't know what to do"
I wrapped my arms around her body.
"It's Okay now, I'm here with you"
She told me about her boyfriend,
He cheated, and hit her bad...
I told her not to worry...
But in the inside I was getting mad.
I held back my anger...
And I comforted her instead.
Playing with her hair,
She lay still on my bed.
I leaned over to kiss her cheek,
She smiled and turned to me.
"Thank you for being there...
I have finally learned to see"
With that she drifted off,
I left her quietly sleeping.
"How could anyone want to hurt her?"
I ran through thoughts, my heart leaping.
I met up with Her Boyfriend,
Swung out of pure love and rage.
A Knife Stabbed Through my Stomach..
"God Where were you today?"
My Head smacking onto the pavement,
My breath Getting Thin...
My Vision Blurred and fading slowly...
This was a battle I could never win.
As this darkness consumes me...
Light fills my eyes...
I am proud to have lost my life,
If it meant ending her Cries...
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 10:27 am
(note: last line contains somethign not pg... but there was really no other way to say it...)
After Burn
The piercing light,
Dismembered smile,
Cursed eyes.
Yet all the while,
Enchating Me,
With her sweet breath.
I Need not see,
That her Heart left.
I Need not worry,
She is my fears.
I need not be scared,
I see her tears.
Yet she is cruel,
This pain Is Great.
I feel human,
I feel the Hate.
I feel the torment,
The slashing of her eyes.
I See her lonesome,
I hear her crys.
I Feel nothing,
Though I once did.
I'm About to explode,
From all my emotions hid.
I Am betrayed,
For i gave trust.
I Am destroyed,
Robbed of this gentil lust.
I Am But a fool,
I Pawn in this sickening game.
How can you hurt me so,
And towards yourself feel no shame.
Forget our cruel past,
It means Not a thing.
Not even a knife,
Can match the pain you bring.
So I am blinded now,
By the Shade of hope i once knew,
Now remind me once again,
Why the ******** I Still love You...
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 10:34 am
crying WOW!! tht is really touching
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 10:38 am
Eh-heh...*rubs back of head*...I don't think my stories quite qualify...they're like rated R-... eek
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 10:39 am
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 10:47 am
The Mask
I walk down through the halls
In the mask I always wear:
The perfected poker face
Until you come and then
I lest the barriar fall
I smile as the mask falls away
For a while as people see
The real me that is
Here, with you.
But then you leave me once again
And the mask is back
Until I find you once more.
I wrote this poem a few weeks ago because I remembered last year one of my friends said I always pretend to be emotionless, I am wearing a mask. I moved away from her and my best friend, and it is about my best friend(Not a boyfriend or gilrfriend or anything as it might lead you to believe). I really hate moving and I still keep her as my best friend because I haven't found anyone I can talk to half as easily or be my true self around. Keep in mind that I am not very good and that this is one of the only things I've ever written...
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 10:48 am
*Sheepishly*
I'm sorry, I always feel like I have to explain it when I am nervous... redface
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:01 am
Ukiyumi *Sheepishly* I'm sorry, I always feel like I have to explain it when I am nervous... redface You shouldnt be nervous lol, it's cool!!! and it reminds me... of myself...
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:11 am
redface Thank you...
I am always nervous when displaying work of any kind to anybody. Well, that is, if it matters to me at all... But I liked this one... And I didn't want other people to not like it. smile
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:14 am
Ukiyumi redface Thank you... I am always nervous when displaying work of any kind to anybody. Well, that is, if it matters to me at all... But I liked this one... And I didn't want other people to not like it. smile lol. It's cool =D
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:21 am
Wow, you are everywhere.... Is it your quest to always be the one with the most recent posts?
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:40 am
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:54 pm
Ok this might take me awhile to type.....be back as soon as possible with a VERY long i guess poem. i suck at rhyming. sweatdrop
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