cheese_whine Cheap Eats cheese_whine
Food Carts
Would you saw we have a plethora of food carts? Do you even know that that word means! All over downtown, and clusters all over the area. The proletarian food revolution is upon us!
Rocco's Pizza
$3.25 slices of cheese pizza almost as big as Tammy Fae Baker's hair! Portland's original punk rock pizza.
The Roxy
Cheap food that would make a Darfur refugee vomit but can miraculously cure hangovers! The Lord of the Fries is a must. Open twenty-fours hours; closed Mondays.
Shushi Ichiban
Portland's original punk rock sushi! Sure, the sushi's only decent but it's an insane value for the money ($1.25 plates all day every day) and the punk rock atmosphere makes it a fun place to meet and eat.
Voodoo Doughnut
Delicious sexual innuendo pastries! But no room to eat them inside, so reserve for middlin' fair to balmy days.
rofl Games & Movies rofl
5th Avenue Cinema
Portland State's student-run cheap theater that plays mostly indie and foreign movies, with some mainstream Hollywood and cult films thrown in. Free for PSU students, $2 for students carrying ID, and $3 general admission. Free popcorn, too.
Bloaty's Pizza Hog Chuck E Cheese
I seriously used to run across a busy six-lane boulevard to get to this place? The folly of youth. Anyway, you've got games and grub all in one spot, and the screaming of children.
Glowing Greens
$8 for glowing mini-golf, $1 extra for a pair of 3-D glasses. Oh, and a wooden pirate as a doorman.
Ground Kontrol
Cool retro arcade that features tournaments, shows, and even has a bar. Open to people under twenty-one noon to 5:00 PM daily.
Oaks Amusement Park
It's not Six Flags, but it makes for a great set for a Scooby Doo episode! A vintage roller coaster, assorted rides, an outhouse that serves "food", in a gorgeous setting! Almost as much fun as shoving the elderly into oncoming MAX trains.
OMSI
Entertainment that educates! OMFG RUN! Cool exhibits, a planetarium, laser shows ... a freakin' submarine! And everything under $10.
PSU Viking Game Room
Probably the cheapest bowling in town, also features billiards and console games on projection screens.
Tilt
An arcade in the Lloyd Center mall. It's not cheap but it usually has a lot of the new games.
Wunderland
Nickel arcades and cheap movies (only at the Avalon and Milwaukie locations: $2.50) in various locations in the area. $2.50 admission.
pirate Attractions pirate
Lan Su Chinese Garden
Never knew this place had a name; now I wonder if it means "Corwin's dumb." A traditional Chinese Garden that's bigger on the inside than it looks like from the outside. Admission is $8.50 for adults and $6.50 for students with ID. Also has a tea house. Occasionally there are free admission days.
Farmers Markets
Awesome open-air markets featuring locally-grown produce and -produced wares and also feature events like the south park blocks' Chef in the Park on Saturdays. Various times at different locations around town (and in Beaverton).
Forest Park
If you get tired of humans and noise pollution and all the trappings of civilization this is where to go. You can spend an entire day in this place, maybe even run into Legolas.
Japanese Gardens
Supposed to be the best Japanese garden outside of Japan, it's most certainly the most beautiful park in town at least! Adults fork over $9.50, college students $7.75, and anklebiters $6.75. occasionally there are free admission days.
Oaks Bottom
A wildlife refuge in Sellwood that's near Oaks Amusement Park. I know some people don't just go down here to roast bowls and drink.
Oregon Zoo
If you like watching majestic wild animals languishing in dismal captivity (some in meager but decent habitats) this is the place for you. Admission is $10.50, $2 on the second Tuesday of the month.
Pittock Mansion
This a really beautiful mansion and can make for a great group tour or when it's not crowded a romantic date. $8 for adults and $5 for anklebiters. Kinda a pain to get to if you don't know the easy and scenic back way.
Rose Test Garden
Roses! heart That pretty much sums it up for me, and should for you, too. Also a great place to take a date to if you're being a cheapskate.
Saturday Market
This is what happens when the free market reigns and people care enough about their local economy to stop buying s**t made in China that makes amoral jerks fabulously wealthy. And it's fun!
dramallama Local Events dramallama
Adult Soapbox Derby
Usually around the end of August
Nothing beats watching adults bombing down Mt. Tabor in soapbox derby cars that lend weight to the "Keep Portland Weird" bumper sticker's credibility.
Apple Tasting
Usually in the first half of October
Delicious apple and pear samples — and I mean a lot — along with cider and apple treats for sale at vendors and entertainment. You can buy local apples and pears you like if you have a mind to, for very reasonable prices.
Art in the Pearl
Usually on labor day weekend
Basically a massive art exhibit where dozens of local artists display and sell their work. Pretty impressive and includes entertainment and food — if you don't mind hanging out with yuppies.
Bite of Oregon
Usually in the beginning of August
Pay money to pay for food! Features myriad local and regional vendors trying to make you poor and fat! Includes entertainment. Admission is $8.
Cinco de Mayo
Always from May 1 through May 5
Sweet, this is when us gringos can get some Latino in us? Or is it Hispanic? Right, anyway there are rides and food and stuff to buy. And even Latinos.
Faux Film Festival
Usually in the beginning of April
A crazed league of eccentric dilettante YouTube humorists descends on the Hollywood theater: weird spoofs, satires, fake ads, mocumentaries, and stuff like that.
Festa Italiana
Usually at the end of August
Guess what happens when Californians move north and drive up the cost of living? You get overpriced and usually mediocre Italian food! We gather downtown to commemorate this with food and entertainment.
Festival of Balloons
Usually at the end of July
Sometimes there's a good reason to leave Portland that doesn't involve FEMA, and this is one of them. Hot air balloons, a barbecue, fattie rides, and carnival rides, and other stuff. Always gets me singing 99 Luftballon.
Greek Festival
Usually in early October
Opa! Dancing, eating, and all that stuff, only this time it's Greek and everything costs talents. Talk about inflation, this stuff all used to only cost drachmae!
Hawthorne Street fair
Usually in the middle of August
The biggest and best of the street fairs organized by local merchants, no proud inner-Portlander should miss this. Yeah, music, food, and stuff!
Highland Games
Usually around the middle of July
Haggis, kilts, bizarre athletics involving rocks and logs, bagpipes, dancing, other more normal food, and other attractions. I wonder if they have "Keep Scotland Weird!" bumper stickers over there?
Pedalpalooza
Usually the second half of June
They're seriously gonna make me have to manually update this URL? Bastards! Bastards on bikes, that is, doing things from jousting to riding naked ... and just about anything else anyone can think of that can be done one or with a bike.
Lovecraft Film Festival
Usually at the beginning of October
Hollywood spins the reels of a bunch of horror movies based on the brilliantly imaginative and highly influential twentieth century American horror/fantasy/sci-fi author with an impossibly immense vocabulary.
Mad Hatter Tea party
Usually around the end of July
Inspired by Alice in Wonderland this free event only requires a strange outfit, a sledgehammer, and a bowling ball to participate.
Pirate Festival
Usually around the middle of September
Sixteen men on a dead man's chest? Buccaneering and derring-do exhibits and events, including mock battles, grub, grog, dancing, and a bunch of cool outfits.
Rose Festival
Usually from the end of May through the Middle of June
Portland's largest carnival with rides, grub, entertainment, fireworks, a couple parades, and the coronation of the Rose Queen. We are, after all, the City of Roses.
Southeast Art Walk
Usually in the beginning of March
Walk around one of the most beautiful neighborhoods in Portland and into peoples' houses to look at their art, maybe even buy some if you've got the cash.
Spike & Mike's Animation Festivals
Have to find out when this is
An animation festival for people who watch stuff that isn't drawn by Japanese people, and who have a very morbid and off-beat sense of humor.
Stumptown Comics Fest
At the end of April this year
This is the biggest comic convention in the Northwest and features some of the coolest characters in the independent comics scene. Admission is $6 each day.
Urban Iditarod
Usually in the middle of March
A PG-13 interpretation of how Gwar descended out of the frigid Arctic North? Teams of freaks in strange get-ups pulling shopping carts through Portland. Nice.
Zombie Walk
Usually at the end of October
What better way to raise awareness of hunger than to shamble around slowly with blood and assorted viscera and organs hanging out, moaning "Brains!"?
Food Carts
Would you saw we have a plethora of food carts? Do you even know that that word means! All over downtown, and clusters all over the area. The proletarian food revolution is upon us!
Rocco's Pizza
$3.25 slices of cheese pizza almost as big as Tammy Fae Baker's hair! Portland's original punk rock pizza.
The Roxy
Cheap food that would make a Darfur refugee vomit but can miraculously cure hangovers! The Lord of the Fries is a must. Open twenty-fours hours; closed Mondays.
Shushi Ichiban
Portland's original punk rock sushi! Sure, the sushi's only decent but it's an insane value for the money ($1.25 plates all day every day) and the punk rock atmosphere makes it a fun place to meet and eat.
Voodoo Doughnut
Delicious sexual innuendo pastries! But no room to eat them inside, so reserve for middlin' fair to balmy days.
rofl Games & Movies rofl
5th Avenue Cinema
Portland State's student-run cheap theater that plays mostly indie and foreign movies, with some mainstream Hollywood and cult films thrown in. Free for PSU students, $2 for students carrying ID, and $3 general admission. Free popcorn, too.
Bloaty's Pizza Hog Chuck E Cheese
I seriously used to run across a busy six-lane boulevard to get to this place? The folly of youth. Anyway, you've got games and grub all in one spot, and the screaming of children.
Glowing Greens
$8 for glowing mini-golf, $1 extra for a pair of 3-D glasses. Oh, and a wooden pirate as a doorman.
Ground Kontrol
Cool retro arcade that features tournaments, shows, and even has a bar. Open to people under twenty-one noon to 5:00 PM daily.
Oaks Amusement Park
It's not Six Flags, but it makes for a great set for a Scooby Doo episode! A vintage roller coaster, assorted rides, an outhouse that serves "food", in a gorgeous setting! Almost as much fun as shoving the elderly into oncoming MAX trains.
OMSI
Entertainment that educates! OMFG RUN! Cool exhibits, a planetarium, laser shows ... a freakin' submarine! And everything under $10.
PSU Viking Game Room
Probably the cheapest bowling in town, also features billiards and console games on projection screens.
Tilt
An arcade in the Lloyd Center mall. It's not cheap but it usually has a lot of the new games.
Wunderland
Nickel arcades and cheap movies (only at the Avalon and Milwaukie locations: $2.50) in various locations in the area. $2.50 admission.
pirate Attractions pirate
Lan Su Chinese Garden
Never knew this place had a name; now I wonder if it means "Corwin's dumb." A traditional Chinese Garden that's bigger on the inside than it looks like from the outside. Admission is $8.50 for adults and $6.50 for students with ID. Also has a tea house. Occasionally there are free admission days.
Farmers Markets
Awesome open-air markets featuring locally-grown produce and -produced wares and also feature events like the south park blocks' Chef in the Park on Saturdays. Various times at different locations around town (and in Beaverton).
Forest Park
If you get tired of humans and noise pollution and all the trappings of civilization this is where to go. You can spend an entire day in this place, maybe even run into Legolas.
Japanese Gardens
Supposed to be the best Japanese garden outside of Japan, it's most certainly the most beautiful park in town at least! Adults fork over $9.50, college students $7.75, and anklebiters $6.75. occasionally there are free admission days.
Oaks Bottom
A wildlife refuge in Sellwood that's near Oaks Amusement Park. I know some people don't just go down here to roast bowls and drink.
Oregon Zoo
If you like watching majestic wild animals languishing in dismal captivity (some in meager but decent habitats) this is the place for you. Admission is $10.50, $2 on the second Tuesday of the month.
Pittock Mansion
This a really beautiful mansion and can make for a great group tour or when it's not crowded a romantic date. $8 for adults and $5 for anklebiters. Kinda a pain to get to if you don't know the easy and scenic back way.
Rose Test Garden
Roses! heart That pretty much sums it up for me, and should for you, too. Also a great place to take a date to if you're being a cheapskate.
Saturday Market
This is what happens when the free market reigns and people care enough about their local economy to stop buying s**t made in China that makes amoral jerks fabulously wealthy. And it's fun!
dramallama Local Events dramallama
Adult Soapbox Derby
Usually around the end of August
Nothing beats watching adults bombing down Mt. Tabor in soapbox derby cars that lend weight to the "Keep Portland Weird" bumper sticker's credibility.
Apple Tasting
Usually in the first half of October
Delicious apple and pear samples — and I mean a lot — along with cider and apple treats for sale at vendors and entertainment. You can buy local apples and pears you like if you have a mind to, for very reasonable prices.
Art in the Pearl
Usually on labor day weekend
Basically a massive art exhibit where dozens of local artists display and sell their work. Pretty impressive and includes entertainment and food — if you don't mind hanging out with yuppies.
Bite of Oregon
Usually in the beginning of August
Pay money to pay for food! Features myriad local and regional vendors trying to make you poor and fat! Includes entertainment. Admission is $8.
Cinco de Mayo
Always from May 1 through May 5
Sweet, this is when us gringos can get some Latino in us? Or is it Hispanic? Right, anyway there are rides and food and stuff to buy. And even Latinos.
Faux Film Festival
Usually in the beginning of April
A crazed league of eccentric dilettante YouTube humorists descends on the Hollywood theater: weird spoofs, satires, fake ads, mocumentaries, and stuff like that.
Festa Italiana
Usually at the end of August
Guess what happens when Californians move north and drive up the cost of living? You get overpriced and usually mediocre Italian food! We gather downtown to commemorate this with food and entertainment.
Festival of Balloons
Usually at the end of July
Sometimes there's a good reason to leave Portland that doesn't involve FEMA, and this is one of them. Hot air balloons, a barbecue, fattie rides, and carnival rides, and other stuff. Always gets me singing 99 Luftballon.
Greek Festival
Usually in early October
Opa! Dancing, eating, and all that stuff, only this time it's Greek and everything costs talents. Talk about inflation, this stuff all used to only cost drachmae!
Hawthorne Street fair
Usually in the middle of August
The biggest and best of the street fairs organized by local merchants, no proud inner-Portlander should miss this. Yeah, music, food, and stuff!
Highland Games
Usually around the middle of July
Haggis, kilts, bizarre athletics involving rocks and logs, bagpipes, dancing, other more normal food, and other attractions. I wonder if they have "Keep Scotland Weird!" bumper stickers over there?
Pedalpalooza
Usually the second half of June
They're seriously gonna make me have to manually update this URL? Bastards! Bastards on bikes, that is, doing things from jousting to riding naked ... and just about anything else anyone can think of that can be done one or with a bike.
Lovecraft Film Festival
Usually at the beginning of October
Hollywood spins the reels of a bunch of horror movies based on the brilliantly imaginative and highly influential twentieth century American horror/fantasy/sci-fi author with an impossibly immense vocabulary.
Mad Hatter Tea party
Usually around the end of July
Inspired by Alice in Wonderland this free event only requires a strange outfit, a sledgehammer, and a bowling ball to participate.
Pirate Festival
Usually around the middle of September
Sixteen men on a dead man's chest? Buccaneering and derring-do exhibits and events, including mock battles, grub, grog, dancing, and a bunch of cool outfits.
Rose Festival
Usually from the end of May through the Middle of June
Portland's largest carnival with rides, grub, entertainment, fireworks, a couple parades, and the coronation of the Rose Queen. We are, after all, the City of Roses.
Southeast Art Walk
Usually in the beginning of March
Walk around one of the most beautiful neighborhoods in Portland and into peoples' houses to look at their art, maybe even buy some if you've got the cash.
Spike & Mike's Animation Festivals
Have to find out when this is
An animation festival for people who watch stuff that isn't drawn by Japanese people, and who have a very morbid and off-beat sense of humor.
Stumptown Comics Fest
At the end of April this year
This is the biggest comic convention in the Northwest and features some of the coolest characters in the independent comics scene. Admission is $6 each day.
Urban Iditarod
Usually in the middle of March
A PG-13 interpretation of how Gwar descended out of the frigid Arctic North? Teams of freaks in strange get-ups pulling shopping carts through Portland. Nice.
Zombie Walk
Usually at the end of October
What better way to raise awareness of hunger than to shamble around slowly with blood and assorted viscera and organs hanging out, moaning "Brains!"?
