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the sad part is is that im not joking

i would promise dog treats if they didnt kill or eat me and then if they agreed then i would start asking far too many questions lol.

well i do some cross country still lol

I love werewolves and lycanthrope mythology. Here's a list of survival techniques and advice that I've gathered from films, television, and books that I've read and/or seen:

*Just because a werewolf is a really nice guy, it doesn’t mean he’s not a blood thirsty monster.

*Never go to a party that celebrates a full moon.

*When a boyfriend/girlfriend locks themselves into a cage during the full moon, it's time to find someone new.

*Silver bullets and fire might kill a werewolf, but they are much more likely to make the evil beast tear you to shreds.

*When someone tells you “Leave before its too late.”, do as he says.

*Never shoot a werewolf in the eye with a bottle rocket. All you will do is make him angry.

*If there is an outbreak of strange and violent animal attacks, its a good time to leave town.

*If you wake up naked, in the woods, covered in blood, and next to a dead animal, you’re a werewolf.

*Never trust people who order their steak rare and bloody.

*If there is a strong smell of wet dog on a stormy night, run away and hide.

*Never try to capture a werewolf so you can study it for genetic research.

*Dogs are smart animals. If they don’t like someone, neither should you.

*An axe, chainsaw, machete, sword, or any other blade makes a good weapon. The only way to be sure a werewolf is dead is to remove it’s head from the body. Just like anything else.

*If you think a hairy beast is outside, calling animal control for help will do no good.

*If you set a werewolf on fire, it won’t stop him. He will keep trying to eat you while he burns.

*Never be a hero and try to save your friend, family member, or dog. Its better to be alive and feel guilty, than trying to save someone and getting mutilated. Makes me sound like a b***h, but this is about survival of the fittest.

*If you hear howling in the distance, never assume its just a wolf or coyote.

And last but most important:

*When you have finally killed the werewolf, don’t check to see if it is dead. Keep shooting it, chop off its head, burn the body, and keep at it until there is nothing left.

*hides axe behind back*
*puts hand on Shanna's shoulder*
Shanna, we're going to a very fun place, okay? YOu'll get to do all sorts of things, and you'll be nice and safe and happy.



Along the lines of Lycanthropy being a disease, it's actually only mental. The people with lycanthropy have no idea what's going on and are typically insane to begin with. One case with a forty-some-odd woman who had lycanthropy got mostly the sexual tendencies of wolves, although she did hallucinate and often would say that she had a wolf head. Sometimes at night she could be heard to chant:
I am the woman of the wolf,
I am the wolf of the night.

And a month or so after she was pronounced 'cured' she was at a family reunion. Remember how I said she got mostly sexual tendencies? Well, at the reunion, she stripped naked, ran on all fours and assumed a submissive female sexual position. To her mother.
~

NAyhow, with all the unneeded and pretty much useless information, here's what the Jynxy has to say.

*DON'T ******** SOMEONE YOU THINK MAY BE A WEREWOLF. In most myths, it's passed by blood, bites, or cuts. What if his/her fingernails end up in some, shall we say, delicate place and give you an unknowing nick? Well, damn it all, you're a werewolf, and even worse, you're probably going to end up being his/her mate. Didn't think of that did you?

*If you're willing to get up close and personal with Fido, I would reccomend a jack knife. Or, conversly, and knife relatively considered illegal. Illegal knives tend to be long, large, and sharp. I know of LOTS of buisnesses that coat weapons with silver for paranoid people.

*ALways remember this classic little rhyme I"m in the process of making up, that may or may not actually ryhme at all:

Pointy, sharp and shiny,
Stab him in the gut.
Jab it deep and give a twist,
Make it stick out his butt.
Make sure your hand is nice and flush and tight.
Kick that mother ******** down and then say,
'Goodnight.'

Of course I'll kill you there will be cookies nad cake!

Of course you're going to die completely safe!

You KNOW this won't work with my dog. He's always smelly!