If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.
Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.
Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.
Alright, so this past week has been hell, and this upcoming week will be, too. But the week after this one is going to be one of the hardest of my Life. >_<
My best friend and ex, whom I still love, is moving away to Texas. We're in Jacksonville, Florida right now. Sunday night, he picked me up from my Dad's to take me home and told me. Funny thing is, he said he had to talk to me before he got me, and I got a feeling he was gonna say he was moving - I just thought he was going back home to Alabama. Not to TEXAS. Anyways, Monday - slept almost all day. Tuesday, my mom drops me off at his house so I can spend the day with them, and Tuesday was great. Riding around with Shane and Dillan, the man I love and our mutual best friend, nothing beats that. I get home Tuesday and I can't sleep, so Wednesday and Thursday I busy myself. Clean, schoolwork (home schooled), IM other people, anything I can to distract myself. But at night I always ended up getting 3 hours of sleep at the most and crying or watching anime all the other time that I was awake and couldn't sleep. Yesterday, Friday, I get a call at 10 30 from Shane on Dillan's phone - "Hey! Get ready to go, we'll be there in 10 minutes!"
"...What?"
*click*
-_-
Five minutes later as I'm brushing my teeth, my door opens.
>_<
We run by get breakfast, and while they do the yard sale, I babysit Shane's four year old sister, who I adore and she absoltely loves me. She started crying when I had to leave. She asked me to move to Texas with them. This four year old precious little girl, who's the sister of the man I've loved for almost two years. So I go home, pass out cause watching her all day wore me out (got paid $15 though for it, which is more than Shane gets paid. XD rofl I didn't wanna take it but they made me >_< I love the girl so much I'll watch her for free whenever). Anyways. Mother drops me off again this morning, Saturday, to watch her while they do the yard sale again. I stay until 10. And while his sister's getting ready for bed, when she tells me good night, she says, "I really do wuvs you, Ashy."
.......Like, seriously?!
I tell his step dad good night, cause he's leaving a week early tomorrow morning to make sure everything's set up for them.
Tomorrow afternoon, father's droppinng me off there again and I'll go home later tomorrow night....and I already know I'm gonna be there again next Tuesday and Friday, if not all week, hopefully.
And Tuesday's just supposed to be our day. Just Shane and I, no Dillan, no sister, no mom, or anything. Just us. We've been together this whole time, holfing each other, kissing each other, just making sure the other's there for dear Life. Neither of us want to let this go, but we've only got a week left and we're gonna most the most of it as mich as we can.
The only thing is, he's the only person who's ever always been able to get me out when I need to leave to go somewhere or something. He's my best friend, and I'm not gonna have him to hold onto when things get rough anymore - not his hugs, not him buying me Cokes, not sitting with him when he has a smoke, not him kissing my forhead and telling me it'll all be alright, he's right there with me. All I'm gonna ahve is his messages and his phone calls and his poems he wrote for me forever ago. I'm trying to not let the reality of it all hit me until it actually happens in a week, but with him holding me and knowing it'll be gone soon; with his sister asking me to move with them; with her telling me she loves me and giving me hugs and kisses good night, it's really hard not to yet. He's my best friend and my personal escape, and Idk what I'm gonna do without him here.
I know this all seems whiny and extreme, but I'm sure everyone knows what it's like to lose someone you love; a best friend,; someone who's always there when you need them. I'm sure all of you can relate in SOME way, and I've never had anything this big happen to me before, so I'm not wuite sure how to cope with it all so suddenly. I got a two week notice and the first week has gone by in a matter of what seems like two or three days. It's allhappening too fast!! They're gonna be gone too soon and there's nothing I can do about it.
Anyways, just needed to get it all out...he does turn 18 soon, and he said he might come back, but he's not sure if he'll be able to yet or not. If he doesn't and he's still down there in November when I turn 18 myself, my parents are supposed to by me a plane ticket as mu present to fly me down there for my birthday, and he's gonna pick me up and take me to the Wonderland Amusement Park in Amarillo. I know it's not like I'm never gonna see him again; I'm going to, no matter what! It's just hard going through something this major since I never have had to before and it's all coming on so quickly. I mean, only two weeks, and I'm probably only seeing them a total of five or six days out of the fourteen., for sure. Hopefully more, but that's debatable....=/
Idk, if you respond please don't be negative about it. I feel terrible as it is, and I don't need negative comments making it any worse. I honestly don't care if anyone responds or not - I just needed to vent and get it out and I'm glad I have these places to do so.
Alice
♥♥♥
My best friend and ex, whom I still love, is moving away to Texas. We're in Jacksonville, Florida right now. Sunday night, he picked me up from my Dad's to take me home and told me. Funny thing is, he said he had to talk to me before he got me, and I got a feeling he was gonna say he was moving - I just thought he was going back home to Alabama. Not to TEXAS. Anyways, Monday - slept almost all day. Tuesday, my mom drops me off at his house so I can spend the day with them, and Tuesday was great. Riding around with Shane and Dillan, the man I love and our mutual best friend, nothing beats that. I get home Tuesday and I can't sleep, so Wednesday and Thursday I busy myself. Clean, schoolwork (home schooled), IM other people, anything I can to distract myself. But at night I always ended up getting 3 hours of sleep at the most and crying or watching anime all the other time that I was awake and couldn't sleep. Yesterday, Friday, I get a call at 10 30 from Shane on Dillan's phone - "Hey! Get ready to go, we'll be there in 10 minutes!"
"...What?"
*click*
-_-
Five minutes later as I'm brushing my teeth, my door opens.
>_<
We run by get breakfast, and while they do the yard sale, I babysit Shane's four year old sister, who I adore and she absoltely loves me. She started crying when I had to leave. She asked me to move to Texas with them. This four year old precious little girl, who's the sister of the man I've loved for almost two years. So I go home, pass out cause watching her all day wore me out (got paid $15 though for it, which is more than Shane gets paid. XD rofl I didn't wanna take it but they made me >_< I love the girl so much I'll watch her for free whenever). Anyways. Mother drops me off again this morning, Saturday, to watch her while they do the yard sale again. I stay until 10. And while his sister's getting ready for bed, when she tells me good night, she says, "I really do wuvs you, Ashy."
.......Like, seriously?!
I tell his step dad good night, cause he's leaving a week early tomorrow morning to make sure everything's set up for them.
Tomorrow afternoon, father's droppinng me off there again and I'll go home later tomorrow night....and I already know I'm gonna be there again next Tuesday and Friday, if not all week, hopefully.
And Tuesday's just supposed to be our day. Just Shane and I, no Dillan, no sister, no mom, or anything. Just us. We've been together this whole time, holfing each other, kissing each other, just making sure the other's there for dear Life. Neither of us want to let this go, but we've only got a week left and we're gonna most the most of it as mich as we can.
The only thing is, he's the only person who's ever always been able to get me out when I need to leave to go somewhere or something. He's my best friend, and I'm not gonna have him to hold onto when things get rough anymore - not his hugs, not him buying me Cokes, not sitting with him when he has a smoke, not him kissing my forhead and telling me it'll all be alright, he's right there with me. All I'm gonna ahve is his messages and his phone calls and his poems he wrote for me forever ago. I'm trying to not let the reality of it all hit me until it actually happens in a week, but with him holding me and knowing it'll be gone soon; with his sister asking me to move with them; with her telling me she loves me and giving me hugs and kisses good night, it's really hard not to yet. He's my best friend and my personal escape, and Idk what I'm gonna do without him here.
I know this all seems whiny and extreme, but I'm sure everyone knows what it's like to lose someone you love; a best friend,; someone who's always there when you need them. I'm sure all of you can relate in SOME way, and I've never had anything this big happen to me before, so I'm not wuite sure how to cope with it all so suddenly. I got a two week notice and the first week has gone by in a matter of what seems like two or three days. It's allhappening too fast!! They're gonna be gone too soon and there's nothing I can do about it.
Anyways, just needed to get it all out...he does turn 18 soon, and he said he might come back, but he's not sure if he'll be able to yet or not. If he doesn't and he's still down there in November when I turn 18 myself, my parents are supposed to by me a plane ticket as mu present to fly me down there for my birthday, and he's gonna pick me up and take me to the Wonderland Amusement Park in Amarillo. I know it's not like I'm never gonna see him again; I'm going to, no matter what! It's just hard going through something this major since I never have had to before and it's all coming on so quickly. I mean, only two weeks, and I'm probably only seeing them a total of five or six days out of the fourteen., for sure. Hopefully more, but that's debatable....=/
Idk, if you respond please don't be negative about it. I feel terrible as it is, and I don't need negative comments making it any worse. I honestly don't care if anyone responds or not - I just needed to vent and get it out and I'm glad I have these places to do so.
Alice
♥♥♥
And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be.
And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
