*Shrug.* To a certain extent, I'd have to say that depends upon the couple in question. I mean, if the guy wants to smooch six hours a day, but the girl's not comfortable with that 'cause of what it stirs up in her, then clearly, that's out. On the other hand, if it doesn't bother either of them, then there's something wrong someplace.
The main rules are (as I understand them), don't commit adultery (sexual relations), and don't let yourself be tempted.
GRAPHIC ALERT: I'm about to say something that some folks might find a trifle offensive. If you're one of them, skip past this quote box.
Quote:
I think "adultery" needs a wee bit of expansion. If two people are bound and determined not to have sex until after marriage, that's great ... but that doesn't mean they should have pre-marital
oral sex as an alternative. Nor a**l sex. Nor "mutual masturbation". Nor "petting". Nor, to accomodate this day and age, cyber sex. I'd even rule out dry-humping.
I say these not because I'm a killjoy, but because they're all just different versions of the same thing. We humans like to compartmentalize and draw distinctions and ... basically do whatever it takes to justify doing what we actually want to do, regardless of what we're supposed to do. That's a load of crap. It's all the same, just like all the Commandments are basically the same. Now skip to the second paragraph after this box.
If you're rejoining us after having skipped the quote box ... go back and read it. You probably need to see what I said anyway.
xp Now that I've said all that ... one of the
disadvantages of being a Christian (not often you'll hear me say that), is that we don't
just live for God and ourselves. We
have to live for how others perceive us, 'cause we don't want to give God a bad image, and we don't want to give ourselves a bad image as His representatives.
Now, "sleeping together" has certain meanings in this day and age. Let's say a guy and girl decide to sleep together ... and that's
all they do: sleep. No "inappropriate relations", no messy bits ... just a peck on the cheek and a lot of snoring. You'd think that would be okay, right?
Wrong. Because others are watching ... I don't care how good you are at hiding, others are
always watching. And if they see what these two snoozers did, they'll
assume sex was involved, and
bang! testimony destroyed.
"Yeah, your God can't be that important to you if you're busy busting bedsprings." "Dude, we didn't do anything." "Yeah, right."See, we can't just act on what we think is inappropriate, or on what God thinks is inappropriate. We also have to act on what the
world thinks is inappropriate.
Now, going back to your initial question ... and keeping in mind, this is just my personal opinion ... holding hands? Fine. Hugging? Fine. Kissing, with or without tongue? Fine, but you spend too much time doing that, I'm going to wonder what you're up to when we're not looking. Best rule of thumb is to proceed at a pace both parties find comfortable ... but don't proceed to far.
It's kind of a vague answer, for which I apologize, but ... it's kind of a vague subject.
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