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 Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:17 pm
Name: Dr. Derek Newman, MD Age: 29 Birthday: July 26 Sign: Leo Blood Type: O Fav. Food: Steak, hamburgers, hot dogs…any meats and anything grilled. He’s also a big fan of beer and dirty martinis, or just a vodka straight. Hated Food: Shrimp and escargot. School: None. Destiny City resident. Hobbies: Underground Doctoring: Derek was once training to become a general surgeon, nearly halfway through attaining his residency. However, things didn’t quite work out well on account of his inability to control his alcoholism. He lost his job, but works as an underground doctor, seeing several patients under the radar. It’s not at all legal, and his operating table is as sterile as a kitchen table could be, but he’s a skillful surgeon and can treat most issues.
He has quite an array of medical supplies, either “borrowed” from the hospital, or purchased from a medical supplies store or a drug store. However, since he does not own an MRI or X-ray machine (the are insanely highly priced), he’s not always as good as a hospital for everything. But he’s much more affordable, and there’s no questions asked.
This is more than just a profession to him, its his passion. He knows he has a gift and believes there is an obligation to do what he does, he feels it is what he was meant to do with his life and to convince himself of otherwise would be selfish.
Although he works illegally, he still abides by the Hippocratic oath, swearing to do no harm, practice euthanasia, or do unnecessary procedures. To not follow this oath would not only cause him to be working illegally, but also unethically.
Guitar: Derek plays the guitar in his pastime frequently, though doesn’t have any formal training, so he’s not really that good. As a surgeon, he has particularly skillful dexterity with his hands, but his musical sense is offbeat. He usually just plays on his alone time, sitting on the couch with the television on and a six pack by his side. He sings along on occasion and is a better singer than he is a guitar player – he has a nice rough and raspy singing voice – but nobody has ever heard him sing, so he’s completely unaware of this talent.
Crying to Romance Books and Movies: Uh, what? Of course not. (He totally does.) Chick flicks and romance novels touch his heart and make him bawl like Little Bo Peep without her sheep. He’s a total Nicholas Sparks fanboy, watching The Notebook at least once a month. It’s a hobby he keeps on the down-low, usually insisting he’s watching the movies “just because” they are on TV, or that the books were “left behind” by some girl. He’s not very good at covering his tracks on this, however.
Bar Hopping: When he lets himself go out instead of sulk in his lonely and often drunken misery at home, he spends his lonely time at a bar. He doesn’t go out with friends, although he meets new people when he gets out, occasionally bringing someone home with him. However, he rarely ever seeks to meet with them again. The bar atmosphere is pleasant for Derek, its familiar and reminds him of the days when things were better, and it helps him crack out of his depression-formed shell. His favorite bar is The Red Rooster, a shady bar two blocks from his apartment.
Gemstone: Ruby Virtues: Will Go to Extreme Measures: Derek won’t let his patients die on his table. He’s working as an underground professional, so he doesn’t worry about the legality of procedures that hospitals worry about – he’s not concerned with being unorthodox. If that’s what it takes to save his patient, then by all means he must do it. When it comes to medicine, Derek remains to be optimistic about results – if only he could be so optimistic in his personal life.
This sort of work ethic carries through to any aspect of Derek's life that he may be passionate about. However, his depression and laziness has created a barrier that bars him from becoming passionate about very much, so his extremity is most seen in his medical work.
Dependable: Whether it’s a social situation or otherwise, Derek has been proven time and time again to be a nurturing and caring friend. He can become very selfless and makes himself available for others, so he is always there when they need his assistance. If it’s warm shelter, hot food or a cozy bed, Derek is willing to provide it for any friend – and often a patient in need.
Furthermore, Derek is an excellent secret-keeper, he’s rarely betrayed the trust of anyone: friend, acquaintance or stranger. The concept of doctor-patient confidentiality is something he practices in his medical and social life. He has a relaxed presence, which helps people open up to him. If someone wants information out of him, they’ll have to torture it out of him, and even so, he’ll do his best to keep his mouth shut.
[[Note: He doesn’t have any defenses of his own, so he doesn’t want any trouble to be brought in through his door (although in his business, it’s almost inevitable).]]
Smart & Informed: Derek is a brilliant and skillful surgeon. He performed well academically throughout most of his life (a few mishaps in his early years in undergraduate college on account of his drinking problem, but he pulled through), and he knows his profession well. Even though he no longer works inside the medical system, he still keeps up with new developments and reads medical journals, keeping him informed and aware of what progress can be made. He’s also, to a lesser extent, informed about many other topics as well, including but not limited to: politics, economics, law, debate, music, film, pop culture, and most sciences (biology, physics, and chemistry in particular). For these topics, he knows enough to maintain a conversation about them, but claims no expertise.
Sociable: When Derek actually gets off his a** and does something in a social environment – usually hitting up a bar – he displays fair social skills, although he must force himself out of his shell to behave this way. A lot of his interactions carry faked enthusiasm and happiness to maintain politeness. That isn't to say he would fake a relationship or be insincere with his opinions of others, but that he would do his best to mask his own issues in social situations. Even so, his depression is still pretty visible.
He’s friendly, has a good sense of humor, can carry a conversation, and likes to flirt. He’s quite a romantic. Although he doesn’t seek out any further romantic pursuits (just seeks sexual encounters, if anything), he has a soft spot for romanticism and emotions, a strong believer in the idea of one true love. In Derek’s life, however, that true love has come and gone.
Flaws: Alcoholism: Derek has suffered a (nearly) lifelong battle against alcoholism. It started in his teenage youth, but didn’t come into full form until college. It started with parties, and then he began drinking more often. Realizing his drinking was headed down a bad road, he decided that he needed to sober up before it became something he could no longer control. He forced himself to sober up and focused his energy in his studies instead, and managed to get into medical school. He continued his path of sobriety until his fiancée’s death, and things quickly tumbled after that. He allowed himself to drink to ease his pains, and as a result his alcoholism returned worse than before. This then resulted in him losing his position in the residency program for drinking on the job, which only led to his drinking becoming heavier.
Derek is not always drunk, but he drinks every day. This isn't something he does because he thinks that having a beer is a nice way to 'kick it' for the day. He must drink, he cannot go a day without having a drink. The longer he stays sober without a drink, the more agitated he gets, the more uncomfortable he gets, and the more he feels he needs that drink. He is an addict, not simply a heavy-drinker.
Sometimes its just a beer as he watches his made-for-TV movies or has a sloppily put together lunch. Sometimes he swaps a beer for a Bloody Mary. These cases tend to be his most common type of drinking, but when he gets depressed (often initiated by watching these sad movies which then trigger his thoughts about his fiancee), he'll drink more heavily to self-medicate.
His alcoholism interferes with much of his life, and his previously mentioned virtues. When drunk (not just "tipsy"), his dependability and sociability suffer. He is still friendly and caring towards others when drunk, but he is much less controlled. His inhibitions are obviously affected, so his judgements are not always best despite his better intentions.
Depression: This ties in very much with Derek’s alcoholism, as the depression is what caused Derek to return to alcohol after saying sober for so long. His depression stems from the loss of his former fiancée, Jenny, who mysteriously vanished in the late summer of 2010, only to be found dead several weeks later. In Derek’s depression, he isolated himself from his friends and family and spends much of his time in solitude, still grieving over his losses.
Whenever someone tries to reach out to him and help him in any way, his depression is a challenge. He complains frequently about the miseries of life of whatever size, is frequently unfocused in casual social situations, and lets job opportunities slide. His depression is no big secret to those who he is close with, his symptoms are visible and he frequently talks about his feelings of worthlessness and his pessimistic views on himself and life. However, he is unlikely to refer to himself as 'depressed', but wouldn't deny someone else calling him such. Even if he admits to his depression, seeking help is something he would likely refuse.
Sloth: In many aspects of Derek’s life, he is pretty lazy. He doesn’t clean up his apartment that often (though rest assured, his operating area and tools are as sterile as he can make them be), he often is too lazy to shave, and he hasn’t really spent much time looking for a real job since being fired from the hospital (working underground seems to be paying the bills by just enough). His friends may try to drag him out of the apartment, and he wouldn't mind going out every now and then with them (and enjoys it when he dies), but would find going out with friends more than once a week would be too tiring. He'll go out on his own when he feels like it, alone, but going out with friends and making plans is tiresome. He could seek rehabilitation or therapy for his other issues, and its not that he doesn’t want to get better, he just views that as too much of an effort and a time sink. He’d rather be home and sulk.
Bleeding Heart: Derek is incredibly emotional, and while some may find his sensitivities a good thing, it is often debilitating. It is not easy for him to let go or turn away from someone in need, regardless of who they are and at times regardless of what consequences he may face as a result. He never heard "Billy Don't Be a Hero" and would find that notion ludicrous if he did. He must do everything he can. This would be the downside of his willingness to go to extreme measures - he must do everything, for everyone, with no excuses. He must be a hero, and if he fails, he will beat himself over it. He takes a loss very personally.  --------------------------------------------------------------------- PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION Eyes: Light blue eyes. Hair: Dark brown hair. Masculine, but unkempt and messy. Somewhat like this. Face: Strong bone structure. If this goes here, light stubble on his face as he is quite lazy about shaving (but wouldn't let facial hair fully grow). Clothes: Flannel button down s**t, some ripped jeans. Overall somewhat sloppy look. Not dirty clothing - but he doesn't care much about his appearance. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Knight Title: Kos Page ((Kos is a Greek city where the first medical school was built and run by Hippocrates, "the father of medicine.")) Challenge: "For the Protection of Mercury!” Uniform: See reference image to the left. Any interpretation of that, however loose, would be great! Weapon Page-- His first stage would be an icicle, about the size of a dagger. Sadly, not sharp like a dagger, it wouldn't be able to be used for stabbing as what would be a sharp end has smoothed out and rounded. It does not melt in his hands, but it is very cold and has all properties of ice. Squire-- At this stage, the icicle has evolved quite drastically! It is now a baton (made out of some suitable material), and looks like the Rod of Asclepius. The 'snake' of the rod is made out of ice. It also now contains magic! Squire Kos can touch an injured ally with the point of the rod of Asclepius (perhaps with the icy head of the 'snake') and channel energy to heal the ally, at the expense of tiring himself out. The longer he touches the ally with the rod, the more healed they become and the more tired he gets. At the Squire stage, his ability to heal is not supremely effective as he tires very quickly. He can heal scrapes, bruises, and shallow cuts. As for internal injuries, while he can repair them, he will likely run out energy and faint before finishing, and the ally will likely be left with exterior wounds. Knight-- At this stage, the baton has evolved into a staff modeled after the caduceus. Once again, the snakes and wings would be made of ice. As in the previous stage, Knight Kos can touch an injured ally with the point of the staff and channel energy to heal the ally, at the expense of tiring himself out. The longer he touches the ally with the staff, the more healed they become and the more tired he gets. At the Knight stage, his ability to heal is more effective and he doesn't tire quite as quickly. He can heal scrapes, bruises, cuts, As for internal injuries, he can repair minor internal injuries and be exhausted, but severe internal injuries would cause him to faint before fully healing his ally. For the magic in both stages, if someone were to touch Kos, they may risk breaking his focus and ending the healing process. However, if he is very focused in channeling the magic, it is possible that he can ignore a simple tap or touch (although being attacked would definitely break his focus).
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:19 pm
Crit time~
The first thing I'll mention is that the general design of the character is one I like on a superficial level - but I think needs to be expanded. These profiles sometimes make it hard to communicate depth in a character, but the character choices that have been made throughout the flaws and virtues don't seem thought-out, but instead follow a path of expectation and need for the character's role in the shop without expanding far beyond that. It's something that's going to be difficult to deepen, too, I expect, because there's sort of a natural niche for this character that most of his traits fall right into - but I think that you'd be better off by pushing those boundaries.
Right, overview time over. Here are some specific things that I thought of when I was looking over the character:
Regarding his hated food - I'm not sure if I agree with how you used this slot. He hates anything he can't afford? Really? So if someone invites him to an expensive steak house, their treat, he's going to refuse on the basis that he hates the food? I get that you were trying to communicate that he doesn't eat things he can't afford, but I think you should use this piece of the profile to define things he actually doesn't like to eat. The same might be said for his favorite foods - unless he actually eats those things because he likes them, as opposed to they're what is available to him, more thought as to what the character actually does and does not like in terms of flavor would be better.
Since you put Underground Doctoring under his hobby, I think you should go more into why he does it, rather than just the fact that he is capable of it and does it for a living. Does he enjoy his work, then? Or does it just beat flipping burgers? He holds to the Hippocratic Oath; that's actually very telling about his character, so get into the reasons why. He doesn't mind breaking standard hospital procedure or medical law, but that's the one thing he won't break - why?
Guitar as a hobby, I approve of. One thing that I might suggest mentioning is that, as a surgeon, his hands are pretty much the epitome of his skill. Being deft and sure and dexterous are things he can't afford not to be, and when he has a hobby playing an instrument, it's worth noting the correlation between that and his work. By playing guitar, he's helping his manual dexterity and keeping his fingers limber, right? So toss in that connection!
I want to know more about what it is about Nicholas Sparks media that makes him so emotional. I'm not personally familiar with the guy's work, myself, and there's a chance that the shop management won't be either - and this is obviously a big deal to your character, so make sure we can tell why. Is there something about that characters that he relates to? Do the plots remind him of his own tragedies?
Regarding bar hopping, I'm mostly happy with what you have here - you've written it so that we understand why Derek engages in the activity, which is one of the biggest needs for these profiles. But I do have some curiosities. For example, does he have any regular places he goes to, or does he just head wherever's closest? Do people recognize him there, or does he fade into the background? And totally out of curiosity: What's his drink of choice? (That might be something to add into favorite foods, actually!)
Now, flaws and virtues, as mentioned, are all basically good fits for the character role you're pushing for - it's just that I don't see them extending very far past that role, and that makes him seem almost bland in comparison to what you're heading for. He's exactly what he needs to be to operate in the shop, with exactly the issues he needs to have in order to justify that role; does that make sense? I want to see something that changes that, so that he's a character outside of that role as well. You have one more flaw to play with, at least, and I think that you could actually combine Trustworthy and Nurturing into a "Lean On Me" virtue of some kind in order to get another virtue to play with as well. Try thinking about this character in various personal situations - how he might be on an average day, walking down the street, or in an extreme situation, facing down a youma - and see if you can feel out any definitive, "this is Derek" responses that can help expand who he is other than "underground doctor" and "tragic drunkard."
I really do think that this is a character with a lot of potential - and certainly, there's a need for him in RP! What you have now addresses everything that needs to be addressed in order to get him into the shoes you want him to fill, and that's one of the biggest hurdles you probably had to face. Now, I just want to see a little more brought out of him so that, if you find yourself roleplaying him sitting on the bus between performing a surgery and going to a bar, he's going to have a natural and easily pictured "self."
(I really hope that made sense!)
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:31 pm
Thanks for the crit Arrien! It definitely helped a lot in fleshing him out some more.
I edited the form a bit:
~ Changed his Favorite/Hated foods. I had originally wrote them without much thought. He'll eat mostly anything, as long as its food, though there are some dislikes.
~ Elaborated on his Underground Doctoring hobby and how he feels about this hobby, why he does it, and elaborated a bit on his stance on the Hippocratic oath.
~ Elaborated on his other hobbies
~ Combined 'Trustworthy' and 'Nurturing' virtues to 'Dependable'
~ Added the 'Smooth' virtue, giving some more light to his personality in social settings as a friendly, charismatic, flirtatious, and emotional man
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:39 pm
Just did another read-through, and I really like the changes you've made! Derek seems like a much more full-bodied character now, and it's easier for me to imagine how interactions with him in a non-work-or-alcohol-fueled setting might be. <3 Good luck!
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 10:54 pm
MAJOR UPDATES.
~ Added a whole Kos Page of Mercury section!
~ Added the Bleeding Heart flaw.
~ Updated timeline of his life events a tad, as it has been a while.
EDITED TO ADD:
~ Revised "Will Go to Extreme Measures," "Smart & Informed," and "Sociable" to elaborate on them. Also revised "Alcoholism" to underscore how it affects his virtues, and "Bleeding Heart" to have read as more of a flaw.
~ Added in the Physical Description section, as I seemed to have forgotten it.
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Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 8:28 pm
Updated to include reference image or concept sketch for uniform.
edit: since been removed
edit2: New version added!
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:42 pm
Hello! I love Derek's character, and I find him really interesting and well put-together in the general sense. It was fun to read his profile, and I took notes as I went, just for the things that jumped out at me. I'm sorry if I'm a little long-winded, but it's mostly to explain my thoughts and in general, when I crit, I ask a lot of questions. ;; So please bear with me!
The first thing that jumped out at me is his age. How long did he practice as a surgeon, if at all? Did he finish his residency? Did he take any time off college due to his drinking problems? Did he take time off between high school and college?
I ask because just seems a little young, given his life circumstances and the demanding career he chose before he was fired from the hospital. Medical school is very, very demanding and competitive, as is a surgical residency, so someone who is suffering from alcoholism and depression would have a much harder time with it. When you compound that by his fiancee's disappearance and death, to have completed a residency and be a talented, practicing surgeon so young seems to be a bit unrealistic at this stage. It would make more sense if he'd been working on attaining his residency when s**t really hit the fan and he ended up losing his residency and his position at the hospital. Some clarification on his schooling/the status of his residency/how long he practiced as a surgeon/adjustment to his age would be helpful, or maybe just some general clarification on his professional life. I'm just a little confused at the moment... maybe not in the actual profile, but if you did a separate post with a timeline for him, or explained how he managed to persevere through depression, alcoholism, and the death of a fiancee, it would help me out a lot in seeing the whole picture come together.
I'm basing that on the general timeline of: if you think that an undergraduate degree is generally four years at a regular pace, med school is four years at a regular pace, and a surgical residency can be anywhere from five years and beyond, that would place the typical eighteen year-old graduate at thirty-one to be completing their residency to be on the safe side. It's only after that when you begin the actual surgical career, so. It's something to keep in mind if you wanted him to be an actual practicing surgeon embarking on his career, or if you wanted him to still have been completing his residency. I'm sure it can be done a lot faster if needed, but sticking to the safe side/going with conservative numbers is generally a better tack for a well-rounded character, but especially one that has suffered from depression and alcoholism like he has.
Since he is not seeking help for his depression, would you say that he self-medicates with alcohol? Or is the alcoholism on the wane nowadays and he turns to it when he loses patient/things get overwhelming/etc. Does his alcoholism interfere with his work? Drunken surgery can't exactly go that well, I would think, but neither would surgery while he was detoxing/dealing with DTs and the like. Clarification on the degree and intensity to which alcoholism still has a grip on him, and how it interferes with his work and social life would be helpful, I think.
I love how his flaws and virtues tie together and play off one another; it adds depth and character to him, and rounds him out more as an individual. It's easy for me to picture Derek in my head and think of how he would act in a general sense, and I think he would be interesting to interact with -- especially from the point of view of a character who could see him at both extremes (practicing surgery vs a night on the bar) just because, like most people, he has different faces he shows to the world. Well done there! <3
Something you might want to thread into his profile, just because you emphasize his devotion to his craft as well as his dependability -- does he feel he's let his parents/family down by being fired? Does this eat at him, or was he disowned? Does he keep in contact with them, are relations strained? While not absolutely necessary in the main profile, adding a few lines into his flaws/virtues about how people who knew Derek in the before/after his fall from grace might be a good idea, as it would give a more complete picture of him and how he feels about how his life has turned out.
I really love his magic/weapons, so I have no crit for that! It suits his theme very well and the given and take with them is awesome. If someone else touches him while he is healing, would his magic be split and channeled between them, or is it only the person he is touching with his baton? (ie someone grabs his arm while he is trying to heal someone else, does that just break his focus, or do they leech some of the magic, or?)
I hope I was helpful! I love his character and want to RP with him when he comes around. <3
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 2:54 pm
New revisions made!
~ Changed age from 27 to 29, and clarified that he was still in the residency program with years to go before completing it.
~ Elaborated on the Alcoholism flaw to include a clearer timeline of his alcoholism throughout his life, and its period of latency. Also elaborated on the extent of alcoholism's grip on his life and how frequently he drinks.
~ Detailed what would happen if Kos were to be touched when channeling the magic.
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 4:54 pm
The way you have alcoholism right now, it doesn't work as a flaw. It needs to be a personality trait, and a paragraph of history and a description of his habits don't tell me very much about his personality. I think it would be better to set that trait aside as a hobby or quirk: even though it's detrimental to him, it's not reading as a personality flaw right now.
Depression and Sloth also have too much history and not enough on how others can observe it. Think about how it can manifest in a typical RP situation and go from there: how does he handle his depression and why would this reflect badly on other characters? Does his laziness manifest in ways besides his upkeep in his apartment?
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 7:26 pm
Expanded on his Alcoholism, Depression and Sloth flaws as per Mouse's recommendations! While what was written was left, parts were expanded on to go into greater depth of other ways they impact his life including:
~ His physical need to drink.
~ As a result, how his alcoholism and drunkenness impairs his judgments.
~ How his depression is visible by others and impacts his daily social life.
~ How his laziness is visible and impacts his social life.
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 4:01 pm
ON THE CIVILIAN:
I am cool with him being the official Red Light doctor of Destiny City, but I would nix all that stuff about him "borrowing" stuff from the hospital. Are you suggesting he steals from a hospital and no one notices? That's a bit too much to me. You might want to add in a line about him being able to diagnose things and do simple procedures, but emphasize that he lacks prescriptions, pain killers, etc. I would definitely add in a little more detail to emphasize this his operation is on the ghetto side. If you come to him with a gunshot wound to the head, you're probably going to die, whereas a hospital might induce a coma and do some serious technical work to fix it.
The way WILL GO TO EXTREME MEASURES is written seems to only apply to his medical stuff. That is only a small fraction of who he is; it's just a job. Therefore, this does not seem important enough to do be one of this main character traits highlighted in this profile -- not unless you choose to expand it to other parts of his life.
The concept of him being socially depressed is confusing. He is funny, romantic, charming, a great conversationalist -- but his depression is still totally visible to others. I'm not saying a depressed person can't also be those things, but if they are so depressed that it is visible to others in social situations, then I don't think you can say being "social" is a virtue. It seems conflicting.
I have a ton of concerns about you listening alcoholism as a flaw. This is like choosing to write a drug addict -- and it is a choice that I strongly encourage you not to make. This can be a very tender subject for some people, and the chance to offend/hurt feelings of people in our community outweighs how necessary this flaw is to the profile. Why does he need to be an alcoholic? What would change if you took that away? You could always say that he is a former alcoholic, which is when he lost his license and such, but now he is recovering. So it could still be a flaw, but without the extremely complicated issue of writing what is a disease. It would be like writing a schizophrenic character, though of course with far less complexity.
Choosing to write a depressed alcoholic is definitely a choice you can make, but you are writing yourself into a hole, I think, in doing that.
I would suggest changing DEPRESSED to 'depressive' and highlight that he is prone to bouts of sadness that have gotten worse since his fiancee's death. That way it is more of a character trait and less of a symptom of his current situation. I think changing ALCOHOLISM to 'recovering alcoholic' or 'struggling alcoholic' could also be a way to keep that characteristic without constantly writing this sad, drunk guy.
ON THE KNIGHT:
Attacks look good -- can you give us an idea of the total amount of time he is able to heal in his squire and knight stage?
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