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 Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 3:45 pm
The door's bell jingled in the night air as the young Crystal student made her way out of the International House of Pancakes and into the darkness of the evening. She paused for a moment to glance up at the glowing sign that towered above her, slipping the last morsel of waffle into her mouth. She hadn't realized it'd gotten so late when she had arrived at the IHOP for dinner, but Luanne had sent her off with a bag of her leftovers after chiding her for being out so late. Good 'ol Luanne. Bless her heart.
Reaching into the white paper bag, out came a second waffle, which she immediately bit into. Worn tennis shoes began the trek back to school, despite the large desire not to return to the uppity school for girls. She missed her boots. She missed the farm. Hell, she missed everything she'd known only months before. Life wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all.
At least there were waffles.
Sighing, she swallowed the piece in her mouth and bit down a second time, large bite marks left in the circular treat. It was as she was passing by the alley adjacent to the restaurant that she paused. Mostly because the trashcan closest to her had begun to move.
What the hell....
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:07 pm
Had the blonde looked inside the metal can, she would have been absolutely dumbfounded at what she found inside. A small kitten, looking akin to a Persian, if those snooty cats ever bothered to leave their homes. Buttercream fur puffed like a force-field from the tiny cat's body and was easily visible as she dug through the trash muttering to herself.
"Pancake leftover good. Coffee notgood. Why does Derp always step into the coffee?! Always tastes bad when cleaning. Blech blech ptooey!" The voice was almost like a cartoon in pitch, and the expression on the puffball's face even worse. Finding a white styrofoam carton wedged towards the bottom of the can elicited both cries of joy and dismay. Joy, for it looked as if waffle remnants were within the container. Dismay, because she was yet a very small kitty and it was very far down!
Clamping tiny paws to the oddly folded conglomerate of paper on her head, she started to leap back and forth against the walls of the trash can, trying her very tiny best to rock the trash can and make it clatter noisily, praying it might overturn. "C'MOOOOOON GOOOOO~"
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:39 pm
Eyes widened in her own dismay as she watched the small voice cry out as the can shook. The shaking had caught her attention at first, but she'd dismissed it as a rat or some sort of varmint that usually invaded dark alleys in the middle of the evening. The voice, however, threw her off entirely. It took her a moment to process the situation, and then it hit her like a ton of bricks.
Dear gawd, there was someone stuck in the trash can!
Her grip tightened on her bag while her other hand moved to toss the can's lid away. It landed with a loud CLANG against the concrete, but was quickly forgotten as the teenager leaned over to stare into the waste receptacle. She was expecting to find a small child, judging by the pitch of the voice. Or a small midget. Or perhaps a small midget child. How any of them could have ended up in the trash can behind an IHOP was beyond Mags' comprehension, but Mags' had never been one to stop and think about things to begin with.
Instead, a small blonde fuzzball was busy smashing itself against the side of the metal container and Mags stared down at it with furrowed eyebrows. There was no one there that had spoken, so could it be...?
One hand moved down and caught the ball before it could smash itself against the wall once more. She caught it as she'd caught many of the barn cats, by the scruff of its neck (or at least, what she assumed to be the neck area of the little ball of fluff) and lifted it up to stare into the eyes of the small... kitten?
"Hogs balls, little fella, you about scared the grits outta me," she laughed, finally exhaling in relief. Where the voice had gone, she hadn't a clue, but at least the mystery of the teetering can was solved!
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:02 pm
It was always a bit head-tangling, slamming your tiny kitty body against a metal wall as hard as you could. But when someone was preventing your momentum from doing what it should, it was so much more jarring. But nothing compared to the feeling of being picked up by the back of your neck, and Derp squealed and squirmed in the grip of the young woman. She had to get to the pancake! Ohhhh, she was so hungry!
Almost on cue, her tiny kitty belly rumbled and she mewled piteously, preparing to launch into a begging speech that could she please get the box out of the trash if it wouldn't be a problem, oh it looks so good, so yummy! Derpraline got as far as "Peeee~" before a sharp reminder delivered in the beloved voice of her adored Astraea rang in her head. 'Derpraline, we do not talk to anyone but the senshi! Do. Not. Understand?' She had promised! Promised to keep her mouth shut.
So, pathetically, she tried to convey meaning through simply throwing her head back and crying repeatedly. Maybe, just maybe, she'd at least put Derp down?!
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:18 pm
She blinked.
Cats didn't go peeee. They meowed, they hissed, they spat and they clawed. They didn't go peeee. This cat clearly had gone peeee, despite quickly moving on to squealing and squirming like normal little kittens did. It could only mean one thing.
Destiny City's cats were ********' weird.
"Calm down, calm down," the blonde fussed, moving to sit down on the cold cement. It hadn't occurred to Margaret that she was planting her tookus down at the entrance of a dark alley in the middle of the night, but then again, many things never occurred to Margaret Butler.
Setting the small kitten down in her lap, she quickly whipped her arms around as a barrier, preventing any possible escape from the little fluffball. For it to have found its way into the trashcan could only mean it was hungry, and the Crystal student would be damned to eat in front of a poor pitiful little bug-eyed critter if she had food to spare. Which, fortunately for both her and Fuzzball, she did.
The half bitten waffle was still in between two fingers of the hand that held the bag, and she moved to slip the waffle in her mouth. Holding it there, she used her free hand to reach into the bag and pull out an untouched waffle, which she presented before Fuzzball, who was still yowling as if someone had set her tail on fire. Mags knew what cats sounded like with their tails on fire (damn cousin Bobby) and it wasn't a pleasant sound.
"Here now, quit fussin' for gawd's sake, food. FOOD. You City cats understand that, right?"
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:42 pm
It was tantalizing. It was incredible. It was sweet and buttery and simply waffley. Derp's eyes, which more often than not looked in two directions at the same time, came to a mutual decision and affixed keenly on the waffle in front of her tiny nose. She lit up all at once like a Christmas tree and immediately wrapped her little stumpy paws around the breakfast treat and started gnawing happily.
It would have been much tastier with a load of sweet, rich maple syrup. But the little kitten hadn't eaten in days, and this was the supreme food. The food of the Goddess. If there had still been a Moon Kingdom, Derpraline was sure that all they would ever eat there were these waffles. Had the little thing known about Belgium, her time in Destiny City would have perhaps come to an end.
That is, until she got lost. Which would happen all of two minutes after she decided to leave! Astraea was always sighing over her. Astraea was so kind. And wonderful. And pretty. But no! Now the waffle was gone! Tilting her head back and mewling softly in supplication, the paper hat on her head slid back to reveal a small five-pointed star in the dead center of her forehead. The expression clearly said 'More please?'.
With the lazy eye, it made the affect either absolutely adorable, or mildly disturbing.
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:59 pm
"Damn, yew've got quite the appetite for somethin' so shrimpy."
The waffle was gone. The waffle had practically been the same size as the kitten and Fuzzball had eaten ever last crumb of it. Mags was impressed. Mags was amazed. Mags was nearly tempted to offer up a second waffle just to see if the critter would devour it like the first, and Mags was never one to offer out waffles so freely.
Instead of immediately pulling out another treat, she stared down and watched the kitten beg. Thankfully, Mags was never one to judge on appearances, especially seeing as she was a figurative black sheep among the prim and proper of Crystal Academy. The kitten had a funny eye. It was, well, funny. It also had a little paper hat, which was more than odd for a cat to be wearing (yet again proof that Destiny City cats were ********' weird), but it was the small golden star that caught her attention above anything else.
"What in tha world..."
One finger gently moved out and brushed against the star. The forehead was fuzzy (just as it looked to be) but the star was surprisingly smooth. A cat with a star? Mags had a birthmark on her thigh but it didn't look nearly as cool as this critter's mark. "Yew got lucky, cat," she told it in confidence, "My birthmark kinda looks like Florida. Or so Aunt Lucy told me. I've never been, so I couldn't tell yew if she was talkin' out her a** or not."
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 6:08 pm
There were few things in this world that could separate Derp from a waffle once it had been offered. Very, very few. Astraea. More waffles. Astraea. And the ringing in her head that went off like several fire alarms, a big pit of screaming people. Astraea after catching Derp hanging around that big scary man Gunn Killingworth's office trying to deliver yet another one of her Special Magical Happy Hats! She was always very loud.
Derp never minded though. Derp knew she cared.
As if sensing her wandering mind, a crash of cymbals went off in her head and the kitten all but flew into the girl's face with an exuberant cry of joy. She could talk! She could let herself be known! "Senshi! Oh Derp is so glad! I didn't think I would be able to tell you but oh oh senshi senshi!" The tiny cartoon voice was matched perfectly to the excitedly vibrating puffball in Margaret's line of sight.
"'Straea will be so so happy! I finally found one, all by myself!"
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 6:28 pm
The reaction was delayed by a few seconds as her ears and eyes worked together to make sense of what was happening.
The cat. Fuzzball. Fuzzball was the squeaky voice from the trashcan. The cat was talking. Fuzzball was talking.
It was about the time that the small kitten had launched itself onto Mags' face that her ears and eyes had sent their messages to her brain, and the appropriate reaction came.
She screamed.
It wasn't a pretty scream. It wasn't the shrill petite kind that came out of Crystal Academy girls, with their melodious voices and perfectly flawless faces with terrified expressions. Mags' scream was akin to Fuzzball's yowling, and the teenager fell off balance by the surprise kitten jump, tumbling backwards onto the cold, dirty concrete. Her massive amount of curls helped cushion the fall, but she was far too preoccupied with hollering over the talking cat latched to her face to mind the throbbing bump on her head that would surely smart like a donkey's kick tomorrow morning.
A few minutes of screaming resulted in nothing. Fuzzball was still latched to her face, one lazy eye still slowly making its way over as the other stared intently into Mags' baby blues. Finally, the scream died in her throat, and she stared back up into Fuzzball's eyes.
"Yew....talked." The voice was hoarse, raspy from screaming.
The cat's words were slowly sinking into the girl's mind, now that the initial reaction was over and done with. Sushi. The cat wanted sushi. The cat had mistaken her for sushi? What the hogs friggin' balls was going on?
"Yew talked."
She was a broken record, and it took a headshake and a kitten face-peeling before she was able to state anything more than the obvious. "Yew... think I'm sushi? I'm Mags. Mags. Mags is not eat-able."
One hand moved down to point at the waffles, moving the kitten in her other hand so it could see where she was pointing. "There. Waffles. WAH-FULS. You can eat those. Not Mags."
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 6:58 pm
Every time. Every single time! Even when she was with Astraea, watching in the shadows while the sleek grey cat did her marvelous work they had screamed. They always screamed! Or yelled. Or pretended like it wasn't real. But they were real! They were Moon cats! Derpraline started to purr, rubbing her cheek against the girl's forehead reassuringly. Purr purr, see, Derp is harmless purr purr!
This, however, only resulted in her being peeled off of the girl's face and dropped lightly back onto the cold cement. In the commotion, one fact also became horribly clear. Derp was now without a hat. "Oh!" Abandoning the waffles, she skittered back over to the garbage can, and peered around like she had perhaps just lost her eyeball. Rustle, rustle, and the starry forehead popped back out and the kitten was affixing a sea-colored hat onto her head.
"Derp can wear her pretty hat for Mags!" Mags! That was her name, and it sounded pretty on Derp's tongue. "Mags Mags Mags. Mags is a senshi. SEN-SHEE. Senshi!" Dismayed, for this was going nothing like the ones she had previously witnessed, the fluffy little cat simply sat on Mags' foot and looked up piteously at her.
"Mags is a senshi. Derp is a senshi Derp. Yes?"
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:28 pm
The cat quickly ran off and disappeared within the garbage, Mags slightly relieved that the obvious syrup-induced illusion had gone away.
Except it came back.
With a hat.
A cat in a hat. She'd read about that. She was quickly regretting having flipped through the pages, however, because damn if she didn't remember how the story ended. So much help that was.
It began to chant her name. Which, all things considered, was much better than her going peeee like she had before, but still unnerving that a feline was chanting her name as it wandered over to where she sat. Along with her name, it continued saying Derp. Derp wore a pretty hat... the cat's name was Derp?
Slowly the pieces began to come together in Margaret's head. It was a ten piece puzzle, but still took a while before everything could fit in its appropriate place. "Yew... are Derp. Derp the senshi Derp."
Pausing, she shook her head as hands flew back to brush off the dirt that now clung to her curls. Once satisfied, one hand moved to point at the cat. "Derp can be a senshi. Derp. Senshi." The hand moved back towards herself, "Mags is a human. HU-MAN. Mags. Human."
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:48 pm
Impossibibble. That was the word right? When things were really hard, they were impossibibble! That was what Astraea called her sometimes. But Derp's head was really, really hard. So it was okay! But this was not good. Why didn't Mags believe her? They always listened when 'Straea did it, especially when she gave them the pe-oh!
"OH!" Dismay turned to yet again vibrating excitement as Derp bounced in place. "First, first! I am Derpraline. Derp is just short. Easy to say! 'Straea calls me it sometimes, but mostly just Derpraline. You can call me Derp, Praline, Pray, DP. Lots of things! Mags is senshi so Mags can call me whatever she wants! And then, second! Number two!"
Screwing her eyes shut, the fluffball tried as hard as she could to leap backwards off the curb in an attempt to backflip. Instead, she simply hopped straight up and down. This did not, however, defeat her! Instead, the kitten simply tried again. And again. The fourth time, she actually almost did it, but fell on her face before it could complete. And then the fifth time. It was actually a bit like watching the wind try and carry off a cotton ball, but it just weighed a bit too much!
Finally, on the seventh try, she executed a perfect backflip. Unlike most of the other guardian cats, however, several things dropped from her subspace. Two more tiny hats, a third one that was very large and looked like something from the Kentucky Derby, and a small grey and gold pen. Mewling happily, the two smaller hats disappeared quickly back wherever they had come from. The third garish one remained, and the tiny little thing tried to nudge it over to the southern belle while the pen was in her mouth.
It was momentary, however, and then it was spit in front of the girl. "Derp figured it out! Derp is so happy! Hat is for Mags! Pen is for Mags! Mags is Duhr!!!" This seemed incredibly important. Supremely significant!
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:25 am
Mags' brain worked in black and white. Either something was, or something wasn't. There was no gray area, there was never anything to ponder. Yes or no. Right or wrong. Black or white. The cat could talk. She had two choices: Accept or Reject. It was clear it could talk. It was clear that it liked to talk, as it continued to chatter on about Derps and Mags and sushi. Mags's brain accepted the fact that cats in Destiny City could talk, and made a mental note to check out Destiny City's Zoo on the off chance that perhaps she could hold a conversation or two with a few of its residents.
The kitten had begun to hop. She wasn't sure why the kitten had begun to hop, but it continued to hop around furiously, until things began to tumble out of thin air. Where a small kitten practically the size of a waffle could be hiding three hats and an ink pen, Mags wasn't sure. Mags wasn't planning on asking, either.
Lifting up the fancy hat, she placed it on her head without a second thought. Margaret Butler was never one to look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth, even if the hat was atrociously gaudy and didn't match with a single thread of her jeans and t-shirt. Next came the pen, which she stared at quizzically, then pocketed in her jeans.
Outstretching her hand, she ruffled the fur on the top of the kitten's head. "Thank yew, Derp. You're durr too!"
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Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:31 pm
Mags was so wonderful! Head pattings, waffles, and compliments about how she could be like Duhr?! She would never be as good as a senshi, but sometimes Astraea made her think that they were probably better. But not Derp. Astraea was Luna. She was the most specialest cat ever and they all knew it! But Derp was not at all significant, she was just helpful!
"Yes yes! Now now, you have to use! It's like, you say...uhmm..." Something. She said something right? Derp was fairly certain that the senshi had to say something to be a senshi. Hopefully, brilliant blue eyes looked up at the ringlet-curled blond. "Do you know what you have to say? Derp is not sure. Derp is not good with many words." Tiny kitten shoulders slumped a bit, and her tail dropped over the curb.
It was truly pathetic.
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Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:55 pm
"But I said thank yew already!"
Eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the small kitten who seemed suddenly disappointed in herself. Mags didn't have any earthly idea why the kitten was upset. She wasn't good when it came to emotions or dealin' with anyone who had 'em. Emotions were a hassle - even more of a hassle than tryin' to wrangle Pig when he escaped from his pen.
Concern for her new fuzzy friend quickly overpowered the confusion, however, and Mags reached over to pick up the small kitten, bringing her to sit in the crook of her arm as her hand rested itself on her chest. After giving the tiny creature a gentle hug (or as gentle as Margaret Butler could be), the other hand moved down to pick up the second to last waffle in the bag and brought it up, offering it to the Guardian.
"Here." She said firmly, shaking it gently, "This'll help yew. Waffles are good for that - best brain power you can get, Derp. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, yew know."
(It was nearly ten in the evening.)
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