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 Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:35 pm
Now that she had become a Dragonrider staying a Healer was out of the question, Y'ul's dreams to follow that path stopping very quickly and changing directions. While she knew it was possible for her to pick it up and try again once her dragon was full grown and she was older, there was still something bittersweet about abandoning a trade she had spent most of her life working towards.
No, she wouldn't call it abandonment, it was like like a temporary halt to its advancement. She and Tofir had once spoken before about how one could always go back to their trade, the human possibility for continuing was unending, but that didn't make it feel any less like she was running away.
You're thinking too much again, it'll make your head hurt and then you'll start to complain.
Erath looked up from where she slowly walked beside Y'ul, the Green actually having agreed to accompany the woman on her rounds around to talk to the Healers and some of her friends still in the Candidate barracks. With so much time now being dedicated to the care and raising of her dragon Y'ul knew there would be many people she wouldn't be able to see again properly for a Turn or so, forcing her to want to get it done now.
"You complain without having to think over anything, so don't push the issue. I'll be fine."
We shall see.
The first person on her list was Layla, a girl she had actually been rather sad to not see Impress at the hatching, and even though it may appear like she'd be bragging if she brought Erath along, Y'ul found it too hard to leave her behind and thus drug her along. They made their way towards the Candidate barracks, Y'ul asking along the way to see if the little girl was around.
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:18 am
Well, that was that then. Her posessions in a bag, her bed stripped down, her little alcove swept out and scrubbed as thoroughly as could be. Giving a soft sigh, Layla sat down on the edge of her bunk. So this was it, back to her normal life. She'd miss the lessons, they had been a nice break from chores all day long, and she'd miss that dream of finding her lifemate... No. She wasn't giving up on that. Folded up at the bottom of her bag were those white robes she had worn out onto the sands. She hadn't been asked to return them, and so she hadn't.
They were... a symbol. Hope remained, she had turns before she was too old to Impress. A dragon might come for her, even if she was up in the stands. She might still find her dragon... Or she might reach twenty one turns alone, and fall into a pit of despair. A dream you held for that long would really get into your soul, and then to have it taken away... She would be crushed, but she couldn't bring herself to harden her heart and move on with life. She wanted to find her dragon, and she would hope for it until the end. After that... well, time would tell.
Sighing softly, Layla ran her hands over the hard surface of her cleared bunk. She'd get going soon. Soon, but not yet. She didn't want to step back into the dull life of a weyrbrat just yet.
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:12 am
"Layla? Are you in here?"
Y'ul had managed to get a clear enough answer from some of the scuttling people to find out where her friend was, many of them having told her that Layla wasn't there while other said she may be, all the while people snickering at her or scowling with jealous anger. How dare a rider come back to the Candidate barracks, was she intent to show off her dragon now? The nerve! Of course Y'ul ignored all the snide remarks and jabs, half of them not even registering in her ears, and she was pleased when she rounded a corner and found Layla standing in front of a cleaned off bunk. The rumor of her leaving the barracks was at least true enough, and Y'ul was glad that she had caught her in time.
"There you are, glad I caught you before you headed out."
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:05 pm
"Yulu!" Layla brightened and sat up straighter as she heard her friend's voice. "Or, Y'ul is it now?" she went on after a moment. "I thought I heard some of the other girls talking about you shortening your name." Talking... not so much talking as sneering. Suddenly it seemed everyone had something bad to say about the two girls who had Impressed. Layla had just been trying to stay out of it, and succeeding for the most part; nobody expected her to join in bitching no matter what the subject might be...
Oh! There, just rounding the corner behind Yulu (or possibly Y'ul) was her dragon. She was a lovely thing, such a pretty speckled hide... She wasn't going to say she wasn't jealous, she was jealous, but her happieness for her friend was managing to outweigh those feelings for now.
"And you must be... Erath, is it?" she said to the green with a slight smile. "You've picked yourself a good rider, you know." Yes she would prefer it was her, but if it couldn't be her then it being Yulu was the next best thing. At least none of the girls swearing the gold would be theirs had Impressed, that would have been unbearable.
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:23 pm
Y'ul breathed a sigh of relief to see that at least on the outside Layla was still willing to talk to her as if nothing had happened, like there now wasn't a Weyr of difference between their positions, and she smiled softly at the praise her dragon was getting almost instantly from the moment she came into view.
This is Layla? You spoke of her in your sleep last night, I was wondering who she was.
Y'ul felt her cheeks burn a little as her dragon mentioned her sleep talking, keenly aware that she would no longer be able to hide all of her thoughts from anyone anymore. Erath would always know what was in her heart, if not in her mind, so there was no escaping anything. Quickly she had to take her mind off that and she chose to respond to the girl, still smiling.
"You're right, I'm called Y'ul now, but if you slip and call me Yulu still sometimes I won't hold it against you as I'm still have trouble believing this is real. Also yes, this is Green Erath."
The dragonet lurched closer to Layla as she spoke, her head almost nodding as if she were agreeing that indeed her choice was a very good one, naturally. Erath would have had no one else on those sands, make no mistake about it, since she and Y'ul were perfect for one another. She probably had a vague idea that this girl had wanted her to Impress to her were it possible, but such a shaking creature would not have what it takes to be a female rider in this Weyr - not unless she were on the back of a Gold.
That didn't mind Erath didn't like her at all, it was the opposite actually. Anyone that Y'ul liked, Erath seemed to like. For now, anyway.
This one is pretty, but so flighty. She is mixed with emotions over you.
Y'ul have Erath a pat on the head, as if to show she understood, and she tried to keep the conversation moving.
"I hear you're going back to your Foster home?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 9:44 am
"Y'ul," Layla nodded and tried to remember it, glad that her friend wasn't going to get snippy if she slipped up and forgot the honorific. "Must be surreal," she went on with a shake of her head, smilingfaintly. "One minute you're just you and then... then you're a rider." Maybe that was part of what the change of a rider's name symbolised. They were no longer quite the person they had been before. They were themself, and more.
"Yes though," Layla sighed slightly and nodded, "back to my foster mother... I actually have a bit more space down there than up here, and it's more private too. Back to a normal life... until the next clutch is laid anyway. I haven't given up on finding my lifemate, even if I can't be on the sands, I'll be up in the stands waiting." If Yulu and Cass could be chosen, why not her? There was nothing wrong with her, and she had felt things from the eggs. There had to be a chance for her, right?
"How are you settling into the weyrling dorms?" she asked after a moment, seen as they were on the subject of living spaces. "Are the others treating you alright?"
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Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:08 am
"I've got a bunk to myself a good bit away from the others, but I don't seem to mind it so much. Erath likes the quiet it gives her to sleep without having to have someone else nearby, and I'm usually left to my own devices. I haven't had any trouble with anyone just yet, but I'm pretty sure I can take whatever they dish out. Me Impressing a dragon doesn't change who I am or how I'll deal with things, no matter what anyone says."
True Y'ul hadn't started to get much flack just yet from Candidates, or rather she just hadn't noticed if anything had ( it had ), her general mindset against the stupidity of the Weyr already set. Having Impressed a fighting dragon was going to make her no less of a man nor woman, however she turned out in the end, and she wasn't about to let snipes at her get her down. Now if someone where to say something about Erath . . well, they'd cross that bridge when they got there. Maybe.
"And as for how I feel about all of this, it's mixed. I'm happy to be a Rider, happy to not be as alone as I never knew I was, but then there's the bitter reality. I can't be a Healer anymore, Erath will take up all of my time and then some more, and the relationships I may have had will falter out from beneath me. In my heart and mind I will no longer be along, but my hands probably won't ever be able to reach out for another person."
Y'ul looked down at her right hand, the stained red fingers no longer covered by wraps. There was no need for her to wear them anymore, she wasn't going to be working in the infirmary any time soon, and constantly having to take them off and on to oil her dragon would be far more pain then what it was worth. Way, way more. Besides, it wasn't so bad showing off her fingers - it's as though she were shamed by them.
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Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2010 5:49 am
"Bittersweet." Layla sighed faintly and nodded, her mind drifting off into story mode. She hadn't considered that some people might have faint regrets about Impressing. Of course you were happy to find your lifemate... but what if you had loved your life before that voice inside your mind? She would have to think about that. Very few people said they had regrets, but surely a lot of folk who had been crafters before must feel at least a slight pang. It might not make you look good to say you weren't utterly and completely happy in your new life but it was real, and people were drawn to stories that were real far more than they were to tales of perfect paragons of virtue. You just couldn't relate to people of perfect sweetness, strength, and glory who never thought a bad thing about another person, let alone their dragon; it was the flawed characters that found a place in your heart in the end...
"Sorry!" Layla blinked, startling herself slightly as she remembered where she was. "I was lost in thought for a moment there. I'm glad that things are going well for you at the minute though, and if they start going bad... well," she shrugged and smiled slightly, "you can handle it. You're one of the toughest people I know." She wished she could be a bit more like that, just say shard the world and do what she wanted to... but she couldn't disobey authority flagrantly, and she hated the idea of being hated. She wanted to stand on the sands again, but she didn't know if she'd have the courage without a gold egg there.
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Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2010 8:15 am
"What are you apologizing for? It's like you say, it's pretty bittersweet, but yeah. I think the two of us can handle it, Erath and I, but I would have loved for you to be sharing the Weyrling barracks with me. I know we can say it just wasn't your time, but you know - when it is your time, you'll be in one of the Goldrider rooms. I can just feel it, and my gut has never steered me wrong before."
Oh really? I will have to keep that in mind for when we do something wrong again.
Erath yawned as she moved to sit on her back haunches, her small wings fluttering as she stretched them to get more comfortable. A few of the candidates who hadn't Impressed walked past and muttered something about Y'ul and her dragon, followed by a weedy laughter, though the young woman didn't hear it or didn't care. Erath didn't care either way, as the only thing she wanted now was perhaps another nap, or to be oiled. The class from that morning had been entirely too early for her tastes and she was ready to relax.
"Oh but...um...would you like some help? Moving your things, that is. It's the least I could do for you."
There had been awkward silence developing, Y'ul not knowing what else to say. She hadn't changed, of course, but having a dragon in the room was a lot like having an elephant in the room. Awkward.
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Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 9:09 am
Layla giggled at the thought of herself astride a gold dragon, she still couldn't imagine it, but then she still couldn't imagine herself with any dragon really. It was too big a change to get her head around, for herself anyway. She could imagine other people with dragons, and she could even believe that she herself would Impress one day, she just couldn't picture what it would be like.
"If I did Impress a queen, I'd need you to make sure I didn't let people push me around," she said with a grin to Yulu. "Mind you, same goes for any dragon really. Either the dragon needs to be tough, or you'll need to be tough for both of us... I don't actually have much to take," she went on, lifting a largish bag to illustrate, "just this... but I'd appreciate the company, if you're not in a rush to get anywhere?" It was good to know Yulu... Y'ul still wanted to be friends with her; she had worried that the other girl would just forget about her. She wouldn't have blamed her for it, being a rider did absorb your whole life... but she hadn't; Y'ul was still here, still wanted to be friends. That made life somewhat better, perhaps she'd even be allowed to help bathe Erath sometimes!
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:59 pm
"We'll be here to make sure no one messes with you. I'm not sure how the two of us are going to fare in the future, I'm a female on a Fighting dragon. I was already getting some flack from before, but now it's going to increase - though you don't need to worry. I will protect you."
Y'ul looked down at Layla's stuff and then back at the girl, debating what all to do. She'd certainly stay here with her and keep her company, not a problem. Erath wasn't hungry or itchy, she only complained now and then of being a little tired and in want of a nap, so they had time to kill her.
"Well, then let's just relax for a bit and talk. Erath actually wants to take a little nap and I think I may let her, just so I can spend a bit more time with you."
Really?
The green would have raised an eyebrow if she could, though she just laid herself down on the ground quickly, eyes closed.
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Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:08 pm
"Thanks," Layla smiled and shifted on her bunk so that her back rested against the wall and drew her legs up underneath herself. "I mean... I know I should try to stand up for myself more but..." she shrugged and gave another faint smile. "I guess different people are just good at different things, right? Being tough just isn't something I've ever been able to do. I can make a mean bubbly pie, if that makes up for it though."
It looked as though Erath was asleep already, but then babies of all kinds needed a lot of sleep. "I guess it must be pretty tiring looking after a young dragon," Layla said with a nod to the dozing green. "It sounded like tough work in candidate lessons, but you can never really understand something until you do it, can you?... What is it like?" She couldn't keep a hint of wistfulness out of her voice when she asked that, but she didn't think Yulu... Y'ul would mind. She'd understand, she knew how much she's wanted to Impress. She was more than glad for her friend, but that didn't mean she didn't wish she was beside her lifemate too, nor that it didn't ache a little to see the new weyrlings. She had hoped so much, and all for nothing. She'd probably never Impress, she was probably too skittish to deserve a dragon.
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Posted: Sun Mar 14, 2010 6:05 pm
"It's pretty tedious, but nothing I can't handle. You'll find out one day what it's like and I'll make sure to help you out from the sidelines. There will be a dragon for you, I promise, so don't give up hope at all. If someone like me has someone out there then there's someone for you too. We just have to wait and see - you're young yet. I believe in you."
Y'ul moved and sat down next Layla on the bunk, close enough that her shoulder slightly touched that of the younger girl. It was a motion meant to act as comfort since Y'ul wasn't exactly the touchy-feely type so hopefully Layla would understand what the Greenrider was trying to do for her. It was the best sh could muster for now, but eventually she'd find a way to rise Layla's spirits.
Perhaps a friend for her friend...
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