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Shryiz: A Writer's Guild

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Tags: Writing, Role Play, Stories, Poems, Fiction

The Library (Poetry Wing)

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Kendra Rosewood

Greedy Bloodsucker

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Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:58 am

I am finding myself in the need of saying I am not all doom and gloom. I just so happen to only have my dark or sad stuff on me today. I will post some happier stuff next time I can get online... I hope.

Pray For Death

I pray for death to come to take me away
Everyday day I live is like fighting the flow of destiny
I want to take my last breath
And yet I cannot get myself to snuff out the flame of my life
I have longed for death for so long
Something of the unknown holds me to the world of the living
I pray for death to come to take me away but it still hasn’t come

Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:53 pm

Interesting, I think it is missing an Umpf at the end as like a final climax point.

Chloe Sakuna

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IgoRawR1337

4,050 Points

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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:22 pm

I would have to agree with Chloe... it's an awesome poem just need a little more added to it and a Upmpffpf lol xD

oh and Rawr!

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:23 pm

Chloe Sakuna

Interesting, I think it is missing an Umpf at the end as like a final climax point.

OMG! CHLOE! YOU ISH HAVE MY HAIR! VIRTUAL HIGH FIVE! YEAH!
*raises hand for a high five*

IgoRawR1337

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nbetweener

Aged Dabbler

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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:32 am

It doesn't feel like a poem to me. It feels more like something that was written when, and as, it was felt. Poetry is about economy of language, and the impact of words. I just don't get any impact of out this piece, and since it's practically the same thing over and over again, there's certainly no economy.

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