There is no plot. *Monotonous voice* Oh wait, I have discovered the feeble excuse for a plot:
-Ohmigosh!!11!!1 He is sooo cute.
-No.
-Why?
-He no date.(See lack of grammer)
-Oh. *Stares at him with awed look* -
-I love you.
-I love you too.
-You is vampire.
-Es.
-I love you.
-You will die first.
-Make me vampire.
-No.
-Ohmigosh!!!!!!111!! Scary vamp!
-I kill you.
-Oh noes! Bella run now.
-I has yo momma.
-Oh noes. I must save my mummykins!
-No Bella, don't go! -
-I must. *Dramatic music* Oh noes, it was a trick!
-I kill you now.
-Nooooooooo. But wait, there is my Eddy-kins! <******** off, and leave Bella alone. *epic battle*
-Now you must suck her blood.
-But I won't stop!
-That's your own ******** problem, isn't it.
-Now I suck blood *Sucks blood* (Inner monologue) Now I must stop. No! I can't stop! Oh, I stopped.
- I love you.
END OF BOOK 1