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 Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 9:41 pm
Two males in one wagon was not as comfortable as Ssussun had hoped. That is to say, she had known it would be cramped and tight quarters. She had underestimated how bad it would have been though, and that is why she had to do something about the situation. After only three days on the road she was in a disagreeable mood. She missed her quiet time. She missed being able to lounge in her bed and sip her cooling drinks. She missed her space! Then compounded on top of that was the ribbing jokes.
One male obviously was not enough for Ssussun! After all these years, and she lets a thief steal his way into her bed. The countless whispered laughs and rib poking would have been amusing if Ssussun was in a better mood. She had had words with the healer..a few times actually. The first time had been over the advantage she had taken of Kyil. That one had not gone so well, but the healer knew better then to press her luck with Ssussun..just in case it drew the Ringleaders attention. Ssussun and she had crossed words and wills a second time later when she had caught the healer gossiping and bragging about the pretty male she had been touching, and how as soon as she had the chance she was going to...well..She never did get any further then that. Ssussun's temper was much like her power. It flared and consumed her better judgment for the moment. Ssussun was certain the tongue lashing she delivered had been repeated around the circus afterward. She had made it undeniably clear that Kyil was her male and she'd brook no competition. Elkaun had been teasing her mercilessly since then. Something about her only being attracted to sick males. Sick! Ha! They did not know yet about the child inside of Kyil and she wasn't going to inform them.
Now...by Ssussun's count..it had been about a week. Four days longer then when she had determined something had to be done about her wagon. Sleeping on her clothing pile was making her back knot and her hair snarl. Though her interest in Mikaril had been made clear on their first encounter, Ssussun had not had a chance to act on it more. Her daily routine was not one of leisure and spare time after all! When Ssu helped run guard, she often used her flames to destroy or drive off the beasts. Doing so rendered her physically exhausted. With such power there did come a price after all. By the time she was done bathing in cooled water to bring her temperature under control, she was simply too tired to throw herself on her newly acquired male. All she wanted to do was lay on her bed, sip her magically cooled drinks, and recover her strength. But she had no bed...for though she was exhausted she did not force Kyil to surrender her sleeping place.
The traveling was not easy on the pregnant male. As he often was sick each morning and ate little unless coaxed. More then once Ssu had parted with her special tea to help him slip off into sleep when the roads grew particularly bumpy. As for Mikaril..despite her decision to put him to work, she did not give him much to do. Just a few guard shifts and some menial work in the kitchen when it was deemed his turn. For the most part Ssu told him to stay with Kyil, keep him calm and comfortable, and fetch the healer if something went amiss.
Today Ssu was finally able to get the craftsman of the circus to come with her into the wagon to begin taking measurements. Kyil was deep asleep, as usual, so she kept her voice quiet as she led the male inside. "... up near the top I suppose. I have no idea how to move things around in here. We'll probably have to wait till we reach the next city but I can't keep sleeping like this." She spoke while gesturing the male towards the back of the wagon.
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Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:53 pm
Mikaril more often than not found himself completely at odds with his situation as the days progressed. Since he had comforted his friend and assured him that they would leave the instant things got bad, Kyil had seemed to calm down, but he had been progressively ill every morning, and he could tell that Ssussun wasn't doing too well sleeping on the pile of clothes. Often she woke up looking as though she hadn't slept at all, and he didn't have to say anything to know that she was more than a little short. It made him nervous; would she soon decide that enough was enough and insist that they fend for themselves? His hope grew every morning that she simply got up and went about her day without lashing out at either him or Kyil. She hadn't made another move on him since that day, but he knew it was coming; he suspected she was too fatigued at the end of the day to try anything. Sometimes he found himself wishing that she would just go ahead and get it over with; he constantly found himself jolting awake and expecting to feel the scratch of nails moving along his body, or to be enveloped in a sudden crushing embrace that he couldn't slip out of.
And yet, in spite of the tension, it was turning out steadily for the better. Ssussun had given him some duties to pass the time and to make him useful, but it was minor things like washing dishes, cooking simple traveling fare, and standing guard on occasion, all of which he had become so accustomed to when he was alone in the Wilds. He gathered from the occasional snide remark and sideways glance at him that the others of the circus suspected something of what was going on inside the fire dancer's wagon. He knew that Ssussun wouldn't spread such news around, so he automatically suspected the wrinkly old healer. Every time he saw her, he glared his best set of red daggers at her to show that all was far from forgiven. Judging by the looks she gave in return, he had no doubt that she was saying things about them to the others. He could only hope that Ssu had such a position in the circus that nobody would consider it worth their while to investigate the rumors themselves.
But in all, he was happy that his share of work was so light that he could spend more time with Kyil than he had previously thought. He would spend hours on end staying in the wagon, sitting on the bed and holding his friend. He couldn't help but notice that Kyil's stomach was starting to look larger and rounder, and he found himself subconsciously avoiding touching it or bumping up against it, as though fearing it would implode or break. Above all else he didn't want to accidentally hurt his friend. So he stayed beside him, holding him, stroking him, and occasionally coaxing him to eat. He did everything he could to take Kyil's mind off of his discomfort when he was awake; he told him some of the stories from before he had met him; how he and a female traveler he had known only for a short while had survived being attacked by a juvenile hook horror, and how he had first come to learn about roses from a strangely dressed drow on the docks of the Glimmersea. He wondered aloud at their destinations, of what cities they might see, being careful not to mention Undrek'Thoz. He even asked Kyil what he might want from each city as a memento; a piece of jewelry or pretty trinket from each place, so that their collection could grow along with their memories. It would also give his friend something to look forward to in the coming months.
When Ssu and the craftsman had walked in the wagon, Mikaril was only minutes behind them; he had just returned from helping to clean up after the morning meal, and as always he was eager to get back to Kyil. When he entered, he tensed up at the presence of the others, but seeing Ssu, he relaxed some and moved silently across the room to sit beside Kyil's bed, following the pair with his eyes and listening to their hushed words. So Ssu was planning to expand her wagon...... He felt himself smiling; now there would be one less thing for him to feel bad about, if she could get a proper bed and not have to sacrifice her sleep and wake up cross. That and if she was going through the trouble, she was most certainly keeping them and not kicking them out anytime in the forseeable future.
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 6:16 pm
The craftman spared the sleeping Kyil a sidelong glance. His curiousity was to be expected, as Ssu had not been very liberal with any information concerning the two males she had seemingly lain claim to in the last city. Unless Mikaril was keen to part with the information himself, the craftsman only had rumors to go off of. Just like everyone else in the circus.
"I'll see what I can do Ssussun." The male spoke while shifting around a chest that Ssu had dislodged in order to give her legs more room to stretch when she slept. He pulled a strip of measureing ribbon from his pocket and began to measure a length of space on the wagon wall. While he did this Ssu turned to the doorway to glance at Mikaril. "Done with your duties already?" She questioned him. Ssu did not wait for him to reply, though she did listen as she opened her cupboard to take stock of her teas. Behind her she heard the male she had brought in scratching something on a piece of parchment
"There is definatly room for another bed." The craftsman spoke up. "Not so sure about the extra drawers." Ssu turned to glance over her wagon and frowned slightly.
"I...suppose...if we took out the mirror on the vanity and put something smaller in..." She hesitatingly spoke while looking at the looking glass. It really was more a object of vanity and pride. She didn't need it so large... It was wide enough for two people to stand side by side and be able to look upon themselves..and she loved the ornate little twists and twirls that had been carved around the edges of the rectangle piece...but they were going to need another drawer unit when the baby was born...
The male nodded his head and measured the small table and mirror area. "I can affix a smaller mirror under the new bed, so when it's up it'll serve as the mirror. And the counter can be placed underneath as the support. That'll leave enough room for this extra drawer unit you want." He spoke while glanceing over at Mikaril with a studious and judgeing eye.
Ssu sighed and nodded her head. "Do it...see if one of the other girls will trade for the mirror. I'd rather it not get cut down for this. See if you can get them to trade a mirror and maybe a extra blanket." Goddess she was going to hate to see her mirror used by someone else..but that was the cost she supposed of keeping the two males in her wagon rather then fighting to get them one of their own...
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 8:44 pm
The entire time Ssu and the carpenter were talking, Mikaril remained as quiet and unobtrusive as a piece of furniture, something he remembered well from his days as a page prince. He pretended not to take interest in the conversation, but he did listen, something else he had learned well. He was glad that Ssu had only directed the question to him and not seemed to want an actual answer; he didn't want to seem as though he wasn't pulling his own weight. Instead he just tried to focus more on making sure that Kyil stayed soundly asleep. Every once in a while he felt the carpenter cast a glance at him, and he was torn between giving back his own defiant stare or avoiding the other's eyes and just seeming every bit as meek and timid as a newly acquired male out to look. Not wanting to give Ssu any trouble, he decided to opt for the latter, and though he did not care for the way the other's eyes seemed to burn into him with judgement, he forced himself to keep his eyes down.
He couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief when the the craftsman finally left; doubtless he would carry tales to other enquiring minds in the circus about how Ssu's two new males fared. He had hoped that he hadn't noticed Kyil looking any different than he ought to be, but he doubted it, the way he had been covered. Besides, he himself had been the one more worth keeping an eye on, being alive to the world and possibly ready to do something foolish. But he was prepared to disappoint then, and he was glad to have the one less pair if eyes.
He found himself more than a little guilty following the craftsman's visit; apparently Ssu was going to have to get rid of some of her personal belongings in order to give herself the extra room for a bed. It tugged at him; her sacrificing some things in order to keep them there....how many females went through all that trouble, even if she had made her reasons for keeping them known? He was used to something like that coming from Kyil, but from a female that he had barely met? It was uncanny. He almost thought that she might be more like Kyil in that sense; wanting to help others...but no. She was being kind to them because she stood to gain something. Such was the way with all females. Still, he felt a little bad for her. Such a lovely mirror...and there would be even less space with another bed. They would be cramped like blindfish in a puddle.
He raised his head and made out the form of Ssu, lingering in front of the mirror she had been so reluctant to give up. His voice deliberately low so not to wake Kyil, he spoke very softly, just enough for her to hear him. "I'm sorry you have to give up your mirror. If you want, when the time comes for us to leave you, I could steal it back for you from whoever has it."
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 9:29 pm
Once the craftsman had left, Ssu lowered herself into the pile of cloths that would serve as her bed for at least a week or so more she was sure. As she closed her eyes and tucked her hands behind her back, she replied in a hushed voice to Mikaril's offer. "We do not steal from our own House." Though...she included Mikaril in that 'we'. As if somewhere along the way he had been adopted into the circus. Well...maybe he had been. What with Ssussun's public claiming of the pair as 'her' males...and Mikarils light duties she supposed they were already a part of the House. Unofficially for now at least. Ssu's amber red eyes parted a bit to peer across at Mikaril.
"If you stole from whoever it was that I traded the mirror to, they'd just find out and demand it back. It would create hard feelings between me and whoever it was and that would lead to dangerous dealings in the future. We already have it dangerous enough, so it's best to keep the inner intrigue limited to just rumors and gossip." Ssu shifted back a bit on the pile of cloths and let her gaze linger on Kyil.
"He's sleeping pretty deeply right now isn't he?..." There was a small pause, and Ssu lifted her hand towards Mikaril. "Come sit here next to me."
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Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 10:40 pm
Mikaril felt the blush creep into his face at Ssu's quiet rebuke. He should have realized that she would give her mirror to someone of the circus, and then she wouldn't steal it back from someone of her own portable House. Or was it now THEIR portable House? He didn't fail to notice that she had included them in that statement, not just herself. Of course; he and Kyil were officially hers now; still not a bad thing as far as he could tell. She showed no signs of being cruel like Haellara; Hael would probably have stuck her a** in an acid pool before giving up her bed to a male.
He felt Ssu's eyes rest upon him, and he was unsure whether or not to meet her gaze either. As different as she seemed from other females he had met, perhaps she still approved of the standard male behaviour of not looking a female straight in the eye. Remembering though the first he had met outside of the house, he slowly raised his head and met her gaze. He noticed how her eyes had an amber color rather than a standard deep red; as though the fire she played with continued to burn eternally within her. He nodded at the continued rebuke, continuing to speak softly. "I am sorry; I should not have suggested it. I just felt sorry that you have to give up your belongings like this. I......I don't want you to get into any trouble because of us, either. I'll make sure to remember this in the future before I suggest anything rash. Or I may just leave that to those that know better."
He looked over at Kyil and smiled a little. "I'm glad he's sleeping soundly. It really hasn't been easy for him. Every time I see him this sound asleep, I think of how much good it does him." He found himself suddenly seizing up as he saw and heard Ssu beckon him over. Was this it then? Was she going to take advantage of the fact that he would not wake Kyil to remind him more strongly this time of just what she wanted him for? Once again he fancied he felt the scratch of nails on his skin, the warm taste of blood in his mouth as pearly teeth bit into his lip, strong fingers holding his arms fast and leaving hot marks long after the fingers were gone. All this was whirling around in his head like a maelstrom, and yet he felt himself standing up, slowly and apprehensively, like a wild creature being beckoned over. He kept reminding himself that it was for Kyil, and much as he hated the thought, he WOULD make good on his promise to his friend and plan an escape if things got bad. Remembering this, he carefully walked over to Ssu and sat down beside her, crossing his legs in front of him and looking unsure of what was to be done next.
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Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 9:01 pm
His voice was so soft. He was being quiet like she was, in order to ensure that Kyil continued to sleep peacefully. From where she lounged though, Ssu could easily hear Mikaril's words. It was good that he apologized for his offer of theft. It showed he had good training, though the way he had kept his eyes lowered slightly irritated Ssu. Were she not suffering from bad sleep, she knew the irritation would not be even half as bad. It was fortunate when he looked up then. His eyes looked so..timid. That is what she thought when she saw him. He was a scared male, tense and ready for her worst...He did not have that harsh evil edge she saw in so many males eyes.
She really liked his eyes.
"You are forgiven. It's your nature I'm sure to think along those lines." She replied. "I won't let you get me in trouble. So don't worry about that." She found herself assuring the other male. "So there is no need to stop offering. I like knowing that you can think for yourself, it makes me proud to have you." Perhaps that was a bit too far? Though Ssu had not hesitated to let everyone in the circus know she had lain claim to these two males. She had not exactly cleared the idea with them. Though..as a female did she really have to? They should have been honored that a female would take them in and give them what little protection she seemed capable of offering. Still, it did not suit for her to seem too approving of the males...Gah. Forget it! Ssu was used to a less then common upbringing and if she wanted to be familiar and approving she would be!
Ssu did not miss the stiffness in which Mikaril rose and approached her. She was not going to hurt him, but she did not waste her breath on assurances. He would learn through experience. That was the easiest way to teach him, and it saved her face a bit. It was unbecoming of a female to console a frightened male. When Mikaril sat himself down beside her and crossed his legs, Ssu lifted a hand and reached to firmly press it against Mikarils chest. She wanted him to sit back, to lean against the trunk that provided her a backrest when she herself lounged here. It was hardly the most comfortable thing, a pillow would have helped ease the stiffness. But Kyil currently had lain claim to the pillows in her bed, and even though she had plenty there, she had not even taken those from the pregnant male.
Ssussun did not speak a word after pushing Mikaril back. Instead she twisted onto her side, wriggled into as comfortable a sideways position that she could, and went to lay her head on one of his thighs. Ssu gave a small huff of a breath and closed her eyes. "Child baring is rarely a easy task. All the aches and pains. The stretching of your skin and the uncomfortable weight. I've heard of females so sick they never leave their bedchambers, and some females strong enough to keep on attending their Household with hardly a sign of weakness or slowness. I suspect Kyil is just suffering due to the fact he was weakened already from travel. The healer has said he will grow stronger the longer he rests. The morning sickness does not always last the entire pregnancy. What needs to be focused on is getting him to eat and drink more. We don't want the baby to starve."
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Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2010 10:31 pm
Mikaril tried as hard as he could to keep his focus on his slumbering friend, but he found it hard to do with his being so near to Ssu. He could feel her eyes on him, whether they had any lust or not, he couldn't tell, and was almost afraid to venture too long of a look. He could smell the perfumed scent of her clothes and whatever sort of soap she used on her skin and hair. Females were always so fragrant, like flowers.....Ssu even more so because she lacked that other smell they tended to have; the smell of heavy incense and blood that they never quite managed to fully get off of themselves after punishing someone. They smelled it, but were otherwise as far from his roses as they could possibly be.
His inner monologue snapped with all the force of a breaking neck as he felt the slender hand pushing on his chest, urging him to lay back. He felt his body resist for a split second, but remembering himself, he complied, though there was nothing he could do about the sudden hammering in his chest, which he was certain she was able to feel as she pushed him down. He could feel it, like the frantic heartbeat of a rat caught in a corner and knowing it was to meet it's end under a callous drow's boot. He felt his back touch something solid and he lay there, feeling totally exposed and vulnerable. He steeled himself for what he thought was sure to come; Haellara had never gone down a certain road for fear of making deformed children, but there was no such restriction with this female.
He felt her move beside him, and he unconsciously squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for some sort of signal. Then he felt a pressure on one of his thighs and he opened his eyes to see Ssu resting her head there, looking for all the world like she wanted to sleep on him. He fought to keep his breathing steady and his shivering minimal, but he wasn't too sure if he was successful in keeping it out of his voice. "Well.....he hasn't been in the best of health of late; neither of us have. We came back to Eryndlyn to rest from our ordeals, but we never had the chance to before all of this happened. But now that he has a good reason to rest, I'll see that he gets all of the rest he needs." He fidgeted under the weight of Ssu's head and smiled a tired smile. "It could be that he is concerned about how he will soon be looking. He does have a measure of care in his appearance; he might dread the stretching of skin and how his belly is bound to grow. I will just have to convince him that once the baby is born, he can be rid of it easily, and it is so important that the baby be born healthy."
He closed his eyes and willed himself to calm down. "We've been through so much worse than this, Kyil and I. And I'll be sure to remind him. He's a strong male; if he's not strong enough in body and mind to carry a child, no male is."
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Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:56 pm
His heart had hammered so fast. It sort of reminded her of her first time on guard duty. She had been so terrified. She had thought she'd seen monsters in every crack. Thought she heard the scrape of claws behind every small sound, and even then in her head. Hmm..It was sort of amuseing to think that Mikaril felt of her the same way she had of the underwilds. Like a monster. Well..most females were! Ssussun closed her eyes and shifted a bit to make herself more comfortable.
Mikaril's story gave her a more in depth look into her males pasts. They were runners obviously. Now she'd have to take care that when they traveled into Eryndlyn that they were kept out of sight. There would be no amount of grief if they were wanted by someone important enough to send them running this far and that fast. They both had to have been exhausted..and probably still were. Perhaps all this sleep Kyil was doing was in part of his recovery from that event.
"Mmm. I will change that then. I can't have my males weak, exhausted, and sickly." Ssussun murmured softly from Mikaril's lap. Of course, Mikaril only had light duty now..she'd be sure to keep it that way for a while. And Kyil would have no duties if she could manage it...and she could. Lifting her hand, she gently patted Mikaril's knee, then let her hand lay upon it. "Do not worry my Ril. I'll look after him too. And you as well. You'll both have plenty of time to recover. Good food. Good rest. Whatever happened back in Eryndlyn will not matter. I mean. It's not like you have a House or the whole city guard after you." Ssu's lips quirked upwards into a amused smile and she giggled softly. "When the extra dresser drawers are put in place of the vanity, I'll have the top one lined with silk cloth and spidersilk cotton, so the baby can sleep there. Nice and close at hand. We'll use the time we have between now and then to decide what Kyil can do in the circus. You do not need to worry about going through whatever that 'Worse' was anymore. I'll take care of you both." She promised Mikaril.
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Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:28 pm
Had Mikaril known that Ssu was thinking that his fright was in comparison with him thinking her a monster, he might have laughed. Having recalled to Kyil his experience with the hook horror, he felt as though he would rather go another round with the beast than have a female laying her head on his lap and knowing that sooner or later, she would make good on her claim on him, and he would be walking the edge of that particular abyss once more. He knew deep down that he had no right to feel such a way, not after what Hael had put poor Kyil through with Nuumia's help. But then again, Kyil had grown up among females; he himself had only had his mother and Hael, and all he had ever had was abuse from them both. Females were abusers, except for the rare few who didn't think you worth their trouble. He was afraid of Ssu because she had already made it clear that to her, he was most definitely worth the trouble.
He blinked at the name Ssu addressed him as. Ril...where had he....? Oh yes, that was what she had called him when he had been her helper at the last show. He could hardly believe what all had happened between now and then; he had probably thought he would never see her again after that show, and now here they were, guests in her wagon. Even then he remembered her playful affection, what he had considered just playing to the crowd. Had that been real even then? Or like him did she not forsee what would happen until it ceased to be the future and became the present?
He listened as Ssu spoke, her voice seeming so calm and reassuring. She was being kind. Goddess, why was she being so kind?? He wanted so badly to believe in the sincerety of her words, but how could he when every fiber of his being told him that she was just being this way to get what she wanted? Even Hael had feigned kindness when she had had him on the rack and suffering, but he had known what she wanted; just to torment him in any way she could. Ssu was kind; far too kind it seemed. Had any female ever been this kind, even the ones he traveled with who only knew him as another pair of eyes to keep watch with? It seemed to him like she was wanting something else, something more than just him, and was refusing to tell him what it was. He couldn't stand not knowing; he could feel his inner strength breaking down like a salt pillar before a splash of warm water, and before he knew it, he could feel tears beading at the corner of his eyes. His entire body shook with suppressed emotion, and there was no disguising the tremor in his voice this time. "Why are you doing this? Why are you being so kind to us, going out of your way to help us, just two males whom you barely know? I want to embrace it, but I can't when all I can think about is that any second it's going to all get taken away or something else. It just seems too good to be true, all of it. This place, the extra things, you.......there has to be something else, besides me; I've so little to offer you. Please.....please tell me what you want."
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:42 pm
Ssu's eyes drifted closed in a content manner. Her lips retained a faint upwards curve, and she gently stroked Mikaril's knee in the silence that followed her promise. He was going to have her own little branch of the House! She had her two males, and she could claim the baby as her own. Regardless of gender, it would be a start. Who knew! When she got older she could break off from the circus, older as in too old to keep performing for all the leering males and judging females. A nice little lower House all to herself! It was when Mikaril next spoke that her eyes opened. His voice was so...tense! And he had good reason to be so uneasy she supposed. Ssussun pushed herself up so she was sitting up and twisted on the cloths bed to look into his worried face.
Ssussun did not hesitate to lift her hands, so she could cup Mikaril's cheeks. She wanted to look into his eyes. She wanted to peer into them as she spoke. She waited a moment and studied his face. "That....there...that is what I want." She spoke softly and yes...she knew it was cryptic. A typical male would assume she meant the fear. She was positive that Mikaril's mind was already fixed on that. Her red and amber eyes swept from one of his crimson to the other, then down over his lips, and to the worried tenseness in the lines of his face. "You are... looking at me." She began to explain, her voice stayed soft, so as not to risk any other lurker outside ever having a chance to over hear her. "Every show I perform. Every time I walk the streets and play my magic. You all look at me. Your male eyes go no further then my bared flesh though. I see it...that hungry and dangerous glint. They would do terrible things to me if they had but a chance. The males would use me. The females too. They see me as a rival and a tool. but the males..." She paused and tilted her head. Her lips pursed into a thoughtful pucker as she continued to examine Mikaril's face. "You don't. Your eyes do not wander. I don't see that hunger in your looks. You don't want to hurt me...use me. You don't try to touch me like so many others have. I just...want you...whoever you are. Whatever you have gone though. I want you."
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 1:08 am
The instant his mouth closed after what he felt like was a literal pouring out of his innards, Mikaril squeezed his eyes shut and mentally flogged himself. Of all the stupid little idiots! He had a good thing here, him and Kyil, and here he was putting it in jeopardy because he couldn't suck it up the way he had for so long with Hael. Just because Ssu seemed so different from the standard female and showed a small history of acts of compassion, that was no cause to go losing it in front of her like this! What the Hell was the matter with him? Why after such a short time in his life, after figuring out that begging with tears running down his face only feuled the savage sadism of the average female, did he feel the need to do this after decades of maintaining stony silence, his only defence? His emotions were all of a sudden coming to a head; why? Was it because she seemed so sincere and he wanted with all of his heart to believe her and not suspect her of any cruel intentions? Was he as desperate as that for a trustworthy female, and why in Hell did he need that when he had Kyil?
He tensed reflexively as he felt the familiar feel of strong hands cupping either side of his face, and as he was made to look at her, he let his eyes widen as he saw Ssu's own face, even as she looked at his. He was certain she could see the fear in his eyes, the terror of what was surely to come, but as he looked into the eyes of the female, he was astonished to see the same sort of earnest that he felt but was unable to explain. It seemed as though she wanted just as badly to believe that HE was sincere in what he was; a male that for once saw her for who she was, not how she looked. Who saw her as something other than a means of bragging or to just have their more bestial feelings sated for one night. How could he have possibly missed that? He suddenly remembered his brothers in House Torlyl and how rough some of them had tended to be with the servant girls and any others that they had managed to entice, bribe, or drag into their bedchambers. There had been crying, blackened eyes, bruises that spotted the arms with heat. Yes, males could be rough too.
Swallowing nervously, he spoke up; rather, he found himself sputtering like a newly tapped wellspring. "N-no, my eyes don't wander. I didn't have that kind of desire for you; n-not that I think you homely or anything, but...I.....I've never had feelings for a female. Not those kind, anyway. I'm glad I don't. If I did, it would be all that much easier for one to lure me into her grasp, and then....." He seemed to feel it all at once; the nails, the kisses, the caresses, the sudden lunge and the biting, and then whatever torturing implements Haellara had decided to use: needles, fire, acid, those nasty tools made up of metals thinner than paper that worked to separate the skin from the quivering muscle beneath...... He felt a fresh jab of pain in his stomach, and he quelled it before the feeling could reach his eyes. She wanted him; this female, Ssu, wanted him. She wanted him for who he was now, not who she could mold him into or train him to be. But was she to be trusted? Oh, she could be trusted to help them, but could he really trust himself with her? Was a willful male really what she wanted? What if she changed her mind further on down the road? The thought of his promise to Kyil dashed across his mind, but if he ended up making good on such a promise, how much of him would Ssu have by then? Would he even be able to leave? His mind felt so worn already; how much worse would it be when or if the time came?
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:28 pm
His fear was almost a visible cloak hanging upon him. He was a well established male. One that most females were probably happy to have in their service. How had he managed to slip away? How had he managed to slip the noose of his leash and make his way all the way to her? Lloths grace maybe? Or disfavor for the female he had run from. Who knew. All that Ssussun cared was that he was in her wagon now, and if he was as true as he appeared to be...she was going to keep him. Having a pair of males in her wagon would turn away all others attentions. It would fix her place to the others as well. It would be clear that she was a strong female and in control, to be able to have two males under her.
His tongue tripped over his words. Clumsy little thing. She wanted to put it in her mouth and stroke it with her own tongue. Perhaps then that would sooth and calm the nervous little tongue her Ril had. "You don't need to worry about that anymore." She assured Mikaril softly. Her thumbs moved slowly to stroke his cheeks while she still held his face. "No female is going to lure you away or trap you. No other can have you. Your mine now, and I won't stand to have another female take what is mine. You..Kyil...no one can have you. No one can touch you. I won't even stand to have one lay a scratch on either of you." Ssu shifted her position and moved one of her legs to cross Mikarils lap, so she could bring herself closer to her male. She leaned in again, her eyelids lowering to bank that amber red glow within them, and she attempted to press her lips to Mikarils own. She just wanted to touch her lips to his. To be able to rub the soft bottoms of their lips together, and move her upper lip from corner to corner of his mouth. Just to kiss him. So soft and chaste like... To have a male that did not lunge for her lips like they were some opponent to do battle with. No contest of wills. No contest of domination over each other. Just to touch his lips, to breath a warm breath over them and feel no threat. "I hope...maybe...we can change that too... Change that desire so maybe you will have some sort of feelings for me. Your so soft Ril...Your demeanor and lips...I don't want that to change."
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Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 9:40 pm
Her touch....she was touching him. Stroking him, like a favored pet. He remembered being stroked, but.....there were times, perhaps because he knew it had been coming, where a sudden tensing of muscles in the hands warned him of the sudden impending swift movement that brought the pain, tensing like a coiled spring. But he didn't feel it; the hand stroking him was comlpetely relaxed, and so gentle, as though it knew his fright and wished to calm him. It made no sense; females fed on fear like a starving child fed out of the garbage of houses. But then, it seemed more and more that Ssu was less like the females he was used to and had heard about. She was caring, compassionate....gentle. Oh Goddess, she was being so gentle.
His inner self writhed in agony, as much from her touch as from her words. Would she act any different if she knew just where they had come from? If Hael had put out half her House's treasure as a reward for their delivery, would she really turn her nose up at it? And even if she did, what chance did she stand against his sister and her open malevolence? Ssu's fire tricks were real enough, but Haellara had never delved in mere tricks; everything she did had been real and with the sole intention of dealing as much pain and damage as possible. Would she stand a chance if she chose to stand in between them? He didn't want to be responsible for the ruining of another life; another possible source of happiness for his sister to take away from him. Ssu spoke with such confidence though, as though it didn't fall into question how powerful she needed to be to protect them; he wanted so badly to believe her; to revel in the fact that she could keep them safe from anything that would hurt them, especially now when they both seemed so vulnerable.
He couldn't stop himself from leaning back a little more when Ssu leaned into him, trying to keep the sudden flare of panic from his eyes and focusing on hers instead, how the half-closed orbs seemed like two dying embers in a fire, vanishing before his eyes and then it seemed as though their last puff of warmth was upon his face before he felt the lips touch; again with that same gentleness that put him on edge almost as much as impending roughness. Without realizing it, he began to find himself wishing what Ssu was; a touch that was meant to be loving and gentle, and not a prelude to pain. Rather than turn his head or pull away, he found his own eyes closing, but not before a tear had escaped from each one to crawl down his cheeks. He wanted so badly to give her what she wanted, but.....how was he to give her something that he had never really felt before? For all he knew, that could be what he was feeling now; that strange simmering somewhere in his chest that seemed to go well with his tears of release.
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Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 10:15 pm
Ssussun could feel the tenseness in his face. Each way he twitched...she could feel him leaning away from her. This did not stop her though. She merely leaned in against him and kept her lips pressed to his own. It was when her fingers were touched by that tear that she stopped. Ssu released her hold on Mikaril's face with her one hand and she gazed at the wet marks left on her fingers. Crying tears? She had not harmed him though. She had done nothing...or perhaps she was? Ssu's eyes swept over Mikaril's closed face.
He wasn't ready for this. She couldn't just keep kissing him, as much as she was enjoying it. He was going to start crying. Or worse he would lash out at her or take Kyil and run away. She did not want any of that. She wanted him! Damn it all! But it wasn't just his flesh she wanted. She wanted his presence and warmth. Lloth damn it. She wanted him to sleep next to her, to be that warm soft presence that she could cuddle against. Instead though she merely heaved a soft sighing breath and moved her hand to wipe away the tear.
"Don't do that...I'm not going to force myself on you Ril. I don't do that. If I can't get you to accept me physically I'm not going to force myself on a unwilling male. It just isn't pleasurable in the least. No matter what the priestesses say." Ssussun attempted to smile a little at her frightened little Ril. "I'll be satisfied if you will lay beside me and hold me though. I've never been held before in bed and I want to experience it...course this is not much of a bed but...it will do for tonight."
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