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 Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 5:08 pm
I'm 15, gonna be 16 in May.
I'm a lesbian.
My parents want me to be their definition of perfect.
This includes not a hint of any mental problems(pretty sure I'm Bipolar. I think my mom is too.) , having a good job (a poet writer or artist aren't considered a good job. I really want to be a writer), having every single grade at the very least a B(C's result in grounding.), and me being straight.
So what should I do?
How do I deal with this?
I can't move out yet..
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Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 5:11 pm
I don't even believe my parents love me.
It seems like to me the only reason they had a kid
(techically 2) is that they wanted to blend in but also have
some little prodigy to be proud of. When I was little and I
got hurt and started to cry my parents yelled at me it wasn't bad enough to cry. Once there was a thumb tack in my ankle and I hoped one foot to my parents who told me just to pull it out and wen back to watching TV and drinking.
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Heavy_m3tal_hippy Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:03 pm
Don't listen to their bullshit. Be who you want to be. If you get grounded, spend that time working on your poetry or art. Blast music really loud, but only if you listen to straight up rock and metal. Techno doesn't seem to have the same annoying effect. Do everything you can to piss them off, and when you leave and never call them again, well it's their own damn fault.
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Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:07 pm
I would, but my mom has a really bad temper and doesn't have the pacifist s way. She smacked my little 2 year old sis's butt so hard she can't sit right now.
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Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 10:21 am
if your parents are not going to love you for who you are, then they are bad parents (no offense) but they should love you no matter what, it doesn't matter if you are straight, bisexual, or lesbian its who you are they should love that. im having trouble telling my mom and step-dad that i am lesbian, i dont know how or when to tell them, im only 14, maybe i should wait a few years?? but good luck to you. i hope for the best!! =]
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Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 10:31 am
... about the "perfect" job they want you to have, do what you want, its you life and your career, do whatever you think would be the best job for you, something you are good at and you enjoy doing. they shouldnt control your life, i know people are going to tell you to stand up to them, and they dont understand what your parents might do. you could get beat if you have abusive parents or if they are really strict, like my mom is, you cant get away with anything, they wont let you say what you need to say, they dont care what you think, they never listen to you, my mom wont let me get away with ANYTHING absolutely no attitude towards her, no back-talk, nothing inappropriate, no bad language, NOTHING they expect you to be perfect, they do nothing but yell at you and tell you what to do...is this the way they treat you... if so, i know exactly how you feel.
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Heavy_m3tal_hippy Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 2:04 pm
I saw an awesome George Carlin thing about parents... "Respect has to be earned, and most parents don't deserve the respect they demand"
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Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:59 am
xXemo_souls_flyXx ... about the "perfect" job they want you to have, do what you want, its you life and your career, do whatever you think would be the best job for you, something you are good at and you enjoy doing. they shouldnt control your life, i know people are going to tell you to stand up to them, and they dont understand what your parents might do. you could get beat if you have abusive parents or if they are really strict, like my mom is, you cant get away with anything, they wont let you say what you need to say, they dont care what you think, they never listen to you, my mom wont let me get away with ANYTHING absolutely no attitude towards her, no back-talk, nothing inappropriate, no bad language, NOTHING they expect you to be perfect, they do nothing but yell at you and tell you what to do...is this the way they treat you... if so, i know exactly how you feel. You're right that's exactly how they act good work is expected not worthy of praise. My dad though does on occasion tell me that I did a good job.
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Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:00 pm
soyouwannarevolution I saw an awesome George Carlin thing about parents... "Respect has to be earned, and most parents don't deserve the respect they demand" That's true. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:56 pm
xBittersweet_Nightshadex xXemo_souls_flyXx ... about the "perfect" job they want you to have, do what you want, its you life and your career, do whatever you think would be the best job for you, something you are good at and you enjoy doing. they shouldnt control your life, i know people are going to tell you to stand up to them, and they dont understand what your parents might do. you could get beat if you have abusive parents or if they are really strict, like my mom is, you cant get away with anything, they wont let you say what you need to say, they dont care what you think, they never listen to you, my mom wont let me get away with ANYTHING absolutely no attitude towards her, no back-talk, nothing inappropriate, no bad language, NOTHING they expect you to be perfect, they do nothing but yell at you and tell you what to do...is this the way they treat you... if so, i know exactly how you feel. You're right that's exactly how they act good work is expected not worthy of praise. My dad though does on occasion tell me that I did a good job. well thats something that we kind of have in common...our parents behavior...
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Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:42 pm
xXemo_souls_flyXx xBittersweet_Nightshadex xXemo_souls_flyXx ... about the "perfect" job they want you to have, do what you want, its you life and your career, do whatever you think would be the best job for you, something you are good at and you enjoy doing. they shouldnt control your life, i know people are going to tell you to stand up to them, and they dont understand what your parents might do. you could get beat if you have abusive parents or if they are really strict, like my mom is, you cant get away with anything, they wont let you say what you need to say, they dont care what you think, they never listen to you, my mom wont let me get away with ANYTHING absolutely no attitude towards her, no back-talk, nothing inappropriate, no bad language, NOTHING they expect you to be perfect, they do nothing but yell at you and tell you what to do...is this the way they treat you... if so, i know exactly how you feel. You're right that's exactly how they act good work is expected not worthy of praise. My dad though does on occasion tell me that I did a good job. well thats something that we kind of have in common...our parents behavior... -nods-
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:44 am
Your parents may be harsh on you, but that just may be their way to show love. Parents aren't always as bad as they seem. They just might want you to get to a good school and avoid persecution due to your sexual orientation.
I have straight A's. Aim for that, and you can get it. Become someone your parents can trust, and show maturity. But don't hold back your creative instinct; that's something you should never do. Read fantasy, use your imagination, draw and create artwork with both words and paint. Nothing can stop you from doing that.
What I suggest is make an account on deviantArt. You can freely release your words there, without having to get caught from your parents.
I also suggest not coming out until you can stand on your own. It seems like bad advice, even more so because of the message given to teens today to 'be themselves,' but don't tell them just yet. They're scared for you right now, and I don't think many people can understand the gravity of that.
Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual people have been hurt and torn so badly that it's horrible. They do have a past too; it's not like the world will embrace everything new. Try to be mature about your situation with your parents, and don't be afraid to lead your own life. If you want to write, then write. And if you're that serious about the situation, get a job, get good grades and try to get a scholarship into a college where you can write. If your school has a literary magazine, join it. Submit to wherever you can and let your imagination run freely. Being a writer is hard, but it's definitely a job.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:59 am
i think just about every parent is like this, to be honest. they all have such ridiculous expectations because they want their kids to turn out better than they do. the thing is, sometimes you have to prove to your parents that you can't be. if you get a C and they get mad, try to explain to them that that is honestly the best you can do. sometimes, if you continuously fail or get lower than a B, they begin to believe you. and while, yes, they will be extremely disappointed, they will learn to live with the fact that you aren't good at math, or science, or whatever you don't do well at.
and just don't tell them you're gay or bi. i mean, yeah, it's "the greatest feeling to be out of the closet" and everything else that you may hear, but in reality, sometimes it's not worth it. my gf was feeling that she should come out to her insane parents, but she didn't, because she realized that if she did, a lot of... well, bad things would come from it. so don't worry about being straight for them; it's a survival technique sometimes. and i can tell you from personal experience, once you disappoint them with that, any further nonmet expectation will just hurt even more.
really, don't worry about your parents. it's you're private life, what you want to be and how you wanna live your life. it may sound like terrible advice, but you don't have to be yourself at home; it's actually beneficial not to be, sometimes.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:59 am
soyouwannarevolution Don't listen to their bullshit. Be who you want to be. If you get grounded, spend that time working on your poetry or art. Blast music really loud, but only if you listen to straight up rock and metal. Techno doesn't seem to have the same annoying effect. Do everything you can to piss them off, and when you leave and never call them again, well it's their own damn fault. you'd be surprised with that techno comment. my parents would rather hear my "devil music" than techno. haha
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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 11:29 am
soyouwannarevolution Don't listen to their bullshit. Be who you want to be. If you get grounded, spend that time working on your poetry or art. Blast music really loud, but only if you listen to straight up rock and metal. Techno doesn't seem to have the same annoying effect. Do everything you can to piss them off, and when you leave and never call them again, well it's their own damn fault. I agree
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