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Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 7:49 pm
I may not know much I may not care Cuts can be found everywhere On my arms, on my legs Take a drag, ease the pain Listening to blood curdling screams as she slices her veins No one cares, no one but me Birds fly around us gracefully We leave this world, leave at once We take off, off the ground High as hell One last kiss Something I know I will always miss Made of pure euphoria, sheer bliss As we kiss, we hear a bullet miss We a just our gaze A sight of a bird that fell As we approach We find ourselves in our own hell
Just all seems well She starts to cry At this point all I can think of is “why, why, why!” We hear a voice, the voice says “hi” Then right away, we hear a sudden “bye” She disappears I cower in fear, the end is near Drenched in blood I begin to tear One last cut, one to end it all But that’s just what they want, they want me gone But maybe today they’ll have it No! I’ll live on, live for her I’ll breathe for her, everything I do, I’ll do for her She is my all, the thing I hold onto Whenever I look at a razor and say “damn I want to” Not drugs not beer, not anything I can say, do, or hear, can take her out of my brain She is the wringing in my ears, the voices that whispers…“I am always here”.
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Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:33 pm
It's good, i like it ^^
For names how about 'Her' or 'Always There'? I'm sorry i hate naming stuff ><
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Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 4:29 pm
thats amazing I think it should be called "I'm always here" its the last few words, and sometimes they are the most important because they leave the reader with an emotion definatly im always here such a good poem
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Posted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 5:32 pm
Definitely.
I totally agree with the person above me. Btw, that was beautiful. :]
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Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:36 pm
it's really good. u should start writing. and if you don't like the names ppl say u should name it or still can't think of anything. read it again to urself and see if you can come up with a title.that's wat i do. btw u should post more stuff and i don't give up writing cause your really good at it.
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Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 5:27 pm
Wow! Color me impressed! XD I think a good name would be "And So She Was Gone" But that's just me!
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Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 6:03 pm
If you can't come up with a name, calling something "Untitled" is good too.
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Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:56 pm
I can't really tell you what to call it, the title is something personal that adds the finishing touch to a poet's creation. Whenever I can't name something I set it aside for a few days, then look at it again and something just comes to me. I will say that this was beautiful, and I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon. I liked it a lot. Keep writing, it's an excellent stress reliever. I say this from personal experience.
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