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Once again, this should go into the fanfiction subforum, but there is almost no traffic there.

Hello again; I'm in need of more fanfiction help. As the title suggests, my basic problem is that I've written myself into a jam. The story is called Defeat and Victory, and it takes place after the Dark Tournament but before Chapter Black.

The plot is a little complicated, but you only need to know that I created an OC enemy to fight against Yusuke and his three friends. Now, it was important to the plot that this enemy beat them the first time they fight, so I gave him the power to do so: he's as fast as Hiei, has great defenses (Yusuke's Spirit Gun barely nicked him), fights with sharp claws, and is extremely intelligent.

The second battle between this guy and the team is the finale, and I'd like a happy ending since the rest of the fic is blatantly depressing. The problem? I can't think of a way for our beloved characters to beat him.

It's now obvious to me that I made him too powerful, and that I should probably just go back and edit the passage so that he won't be too powerful for them to beat. However, I wanted to get any and all advice that you awesome people have to say on the subject, and see whether anyone has an idea for how this could all end happily. Thanks!

omfg. Three words: I. Love. You.

Seriously. That's perfect. Why? Well, as I recall, I hadn't yet been able to explain how someone that powerful got into the human world in the first place. If I go with this, then I can say that he was a weak demon who got through, found this incredibly rare and awesome item, and used it to become powerful. Then he started wreaking havoc like lower class demons usually do for no freaking reason. Sure, it's a deus ex machina, but I think I can make it work.

THANK YOU!!! blaugh

It wasn't Deus Ex Machina when I did it, was it? crying

Personally, I wonder if there wasn't something they missed. It's easy to get disheartened by an enemy who's apparently invincible, and fear can make you overlook tiny details. Maybe he's got some other motivation besides rampant joy-killing; maybe he's got a psychological issue that can be exploited; maybe he's got illusion-based powers and only SEEMS stronger and faster than they are. Don't be afraid to go for complexity -- stack a couple of different explanations on each other if you can get away with it, then add counterweight to each, so that discovering just one won't get the job done. Make them work for it! CRACK THAT WHIP!

No! At least, not in my opinion. Because yours was well-thought-out and brought up early in the plot, I always considered it to be a legitimate source of conflict. It's just that throwing something like that into the very end of my two-part, 10k word story feels like a deus ex to me. XD



I agree with both of you here. I could possibly combine the jewel idea WITH this one--the jewel makes him seem faster and without it he is not as quick and strong. Thank you guys a ton!