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 Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 9:49 am
Your bones are made from
hardened earth,
I took them from the ground.
I pulled your head from soft, wet clay
and dried it in the sun.
Your crumbling feet found all that was left,
sinkholes in the ground.
You stood too long in the heat of day
and tried to move too far.
Too fast than those feet would carry you,
your smiles won't last for long.
I dug into the earth and my fingernails
filled with dirt.
You're alive at least.
Your too brown teeth grow weeds
and when you smile
I see them,
withered.
Wildflowers from your lips.
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Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:58 am
Another very beautiful piece of work, I enjoy how you use something seeminly dead (Such as earth, soil, a 'dead' substance) and use it to create someone, and with that it gives a very mixed impression of what his creature is. Another peice of work that plays with the readers imagination and takes it for a fun ride.
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 1:28 pm
Interesting. I'm not exactly experienced enough in poetry to analyze this perfectly but I still think it's interesting.
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Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2010 2:13 pm
I really like it. It was kind of disturbing, but I enjoyed it nevertheless. It flows very well and it has a definite beat. I loved reading it!
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