|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 8:06 pm
i'm questioning my feelings for my live in bf. for the few older people i don't know if you remember but i've had some troubled times with him. things have gotten better. but i've met some one. he's amazing. i have incredibly strong feelings for this guy and i have reason to believe that he is starting to like me too i don't know what to do. there's more to this other guy tho sweatdrop my current bf has started smoking and it's gross. and this new guy seems perfect for me. and to add onto it i'm really picky and one of the things that i had problems with was a guy with a child and older men they make me severly uncomfortable. but this guy is 31 with a first grader son. i'm 21 with a 14 month old but i'm so sure that we'd be perfect for each other. well i guess one of the many things i'm wondering (and i'll post more questions when my bf's not here) how do you break a persons heart. and i know he loves me and i can trust him to the end of time. what if i can't find another like that? but i still really believe in true love and stuff i'll add more late sweatdrop
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 8:52 pm
Well, if your feelings for him have changed, they've changed. And I think it will be a lot easier on both of you if you talk to him about it and go from there. You aren't doing anyone any favors by staying in a relationship where the feelings have gone, even if he loves you. It's not fair to you, and it's surely not fair to him either. I don't think any of us would be happy to find out the person we love doesn't love us back but they stayed and were unhappy.
So if you don't feel the same anymore and it's time to get out, well it's time to get out. The best way to keep the hurt feelings to a minimum is to be honest and make sure the first relationship is completely resolved before you start the potential second one.
I think that's what you were asking. 4laugh
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 10:21 am
heart thank you. it seems so much more complicated. he's had such a rough life, lived on the streets among many other things and i want him to be able to have a good life, and for a while we were really good together. but then he unleashed an anger problem i didn't know he had. and it's not healthy for my son to be around. but he's straightened up quite a bit. but i'm still scared of it happening again neutral
this is the first guy that i've ever lived with. and i don't know how to seperate. the only place for me to go is my parents place but my mom is extremely detrimental to my mental health sweatdrop and i can't quite make it on my own yet, tho i'm fairly close. anyway our lease here isn't up til may...siiiiiigh.
i'm currently working with him we're temps at a werehouse and i'm up for a position and things are looking hopeful but it's not sure yet. the person i have feelings for is our boss. and i can't help it. i've tried not thinking of it. but we talk and we have so much in common among other things. i feel drawn to him...i was/am really scared of commitment but i want it all with this guy...and i feel i have no control over it. he'll look at me across the werehouse and wink at me or smile and i just melt...then he commented to one of my co-workers about not being to ask me out b/c i'm with some one....
well i don't even know what i'm asking for...just advice in general i guess...i have no friends irl, just the people i work with...so i don't have any oen to talk to about this. the electricity that runs through me everytime he talks/smiles/etc. it's unreal...i don't know what to do crying i care deeply for my bf but i'm not in love. i want nothing but the very best for him and i want to help things go well...but i've spent too much of my life living for some one else hoping things will go well for them. i need to think of myself too right? crying even if we were to split up i have no idea how i'd go about starting a relationship with him...am i being dumb? childish? selfish? sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 6:26 pm
Well, love can be a tricky thing sometimes. You know there is a world of difference between being in love with someone and loving them. You might not be in love with him anymore; but you may always love him in some capacity for the rest of your life.
Think of it like this too. On top of all that Dirge had to say, think that do you feel it's fair for your new love interest for you to not be fully available to him? I know I'd hate to start dating a guy who hasn't cut ties with a previous relationship.
I can see what you are saying about how it's complicated. I mean.. even if you guys do break up and you go out with your boss. If your now bf is working there too, he is obviously going to see what's going on there. I honestly feel the best thing here is just full frontal assault of honesty on your part. It might not be easy for him to accept or deal with. However, as you all work together, it might go easier. If you try to see this new guy while living with your ex, and so he has to live with you and go to work all over and always see you with someone else.. that could end up a little messy.
Of course, things are always a little touchy when trying to balance personal lives with being a parent and trying to be sure our decisions won't ill affect our children later on in life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:06 pm
i spent so much time last year thinking oh my god why cant love be more straight forward? no ever tells you it is like this!!
i eventually left my husband of two years in november last year. i had been questioning my feelings for some time and right then i just knew i had to do it. i had to get out and be on my own, or with someone else - i didnt really know which but i knew where i was wasnt good for me or for him or for the kids.
if you are meant to be with somone - if the feelings dont go away and the problems can be fixed with space, conversation and time - then you will be together. end of.
my husband and i have been getting on so well these last four weeks - obviously it was quite nasty for a while but there was some bad feeling on both sides - but we have been getting on so well that we are even considering giving our marriage another shot.
i guess what im saying is that all you can do is follow your gut instinct. things do always work out in the end. yeah it can sometimes be a long, sometimes painful. sometimes messy and sometimes just downright confusing process - but if you ignore what something deep down is telling you then i think it builds up resentment and hurt and can make things so much worse in the long run.
find yourself some happiness - wherever it may lie x
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
