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 Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:10 am
This is relevant. Just bear with me.
I have been officially in a relationship with my boyfriend for a bit over a month. I care for him very much. One of his friend's is a bit of a know it all who can rub me the wrong way at times but we still get along.
My boyfriend and I have a lot of differences, mostly unimportant things. I discovered our religious views differ greatly but that doesn't bother me much. I suppose it was a tad of a disapointment. Okay, well, I'm an atheist and he is I catholic. So I guess I just imagined how it might be like for me in the future, going through a loss, because he believes that death is beautiful and I don't think there's anything good about it because I don't believe in Heaven or God. Anyways, enough about that. I was able to look past that, since I've always been the only athiest in my group of friends and family.
But the other day, he said something that really made me think twice about him. I was talking on msn about how much money the government spends every year on disaster aid and how we could instead put that money into sustainable living since many scientific experts have said that "impacts of population and economic growth, rapid urbanization, environmental degradation, and climate change are a few of the factors that will continue to fuel this trend unless something is done to reduce disaster risks." -Natural Disaster Hotspots: Case Studies
Well his friend left a message about how I was just saying that cause I was a tree hugger and it wasn't true etc etc. And I debated with him a bit, backing up my statements with quotes and facts, while he never did...
Then my boyfriend comes on and leaves this message. Which I will edit because he is french and does not write well in english,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ok well the planet is not that warm yet and i can prove it look back at the tropical plants there were back when it was hot there is no way the trees we have now indicate the planet is really about to over heat we got a long way and alot of time to ```FIX THINGS`` and well the states practicly rejected kyoto because they are run by the rich business people so what are you gona do. The world is run with money and when it wasnt money it was your life back in the day, so what are we gona do? nothing probably cause either we dont care or we are lazy the only way we can fix things is if we get like at least the population of a province to go and figth against corparit scum but now if we do that how are we going to live the life style we have now because there will be no one to put those asians in line to make cheap stuff for a bowl of rice if anyone wants to help stop living rich and go start revolution but now history proves that there is no revolution that ever works because those who take power become needy and will become what they once fougth against or the next in power will so you would need to change society completly there we go so either change every one or take em all out.
Ok, some places I can tell he is sarcastic, but the things that really bother me, is how he says, the planet isn't that warm yet, and we have plenty of time to fix things, but there's basically nothing that can be done. I mean, to me, that's like saying my entire way of life is pointless because it won't make any difference. That really got to me. For the first time, I wasn't even anxious for him to get home (he's in the canadian forces and is only home on weekends). I just felt like I have no idea who my boyfriend is, and maybe it's better to end this now, because can it ever go anywhere or are we just too different.
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 11:32 am
Oooh, yeah, that is a pickle. Environmentalism is a big interest of mine too of course. I really don't know if I would want to date someone who was that not into it. confused
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:33 pm
He sounds like an arrogant jackass whose head will remain firmly in his colon until reality drags him out kicking and screaming.
Get boyfriend who actually thinks instead of merely mocking what he doesn't or won't understand.
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:25 pm
The problem is that people who think don't always come to same conclusion, even when presented with the same evidence. The fact that you don't agree with someone does not make them uneducated, or either one of you wrong, or either one of you right!
So there is another question here......can you tolerate another person's point of view, without declaring that person an idiot?
And is it your place to make that determination about another person, anyway?
Can't you "agree to disagree?"
We all want the right to think and live as we think right and proper. You have to extend that courtesy to others if you expect to receive it in return.
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 2:09 pm
Well we agree to disagree about a few things already. There are certain things in life that I am extremely passionate about though, like animals and nature. Let's just say if he had told me that he thought all animals have no soul, or have no feelings, etc etc. I would have broken it off right then and there. Agree to disagree and then say goodbye. This one I am trying to get past...I am hoping that not when I see him for the first time in 5 days, I will remember how much I care for him and why I like him and be able to just move past this. But it will not be easy. Honestly it really did hurt my feelings, not only to hear him say that, but that I had no one to back me up either. I couldn't help but think that my ex boyfriend not only would have agreed with me, but would have stepped in to defend me. Instead he basically laughed at me...
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Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 4:41 pm
Crazy Cat Reincarnated Well we agree to disagree about a few things already. There are certain things in life that I am extremely passionate about though, like animals and nature. Let's just say if he had told me that he thought all animals have no soul, or have no feelings, etc etc. I would have broken it off right then and there. Agree to disagree and then say goodbye. This one I am trying to get past...I am hoping that not when I see him for the first time in 5 days, I will remember how much I care for him and why I like him and be able to just move past this. But it will not be easy. Honestly it really did hurt my feelings, not only to hear him say that, but that I had no one to back me up either. I couldn't help but think that my ex boyfriend not only would have agreed with me, but would have stepped in to defend me. Instead he basically laughed at me... It sounds like what he said wasn't a big surprise, so it was the attitude that upset you the most. That's a different story. If either one of you is the absolute authority on absolutely everything, how can there be a partnership? Both of you have the right to have an opinion, and both of you have right to disagree without being made to feel foolish. If it's always a win/lose situation, that's just too adversarial to ever be a good partnership.
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Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 1:51 pm
If he hurts you(physically or mentally), he doesn't deserve you, plain and simple.
If you know he was just saying what he was saying because he doesn't understand that's one thing, you can explain to him. If he continues to mock you, just dump him. I know it may be hard, and i myself have hurt my boyfriend far too many times, through never on purpose, yet each time i went to break it off for his own good, he begged me to stay.
If he grows some sense, and decides himself he's better off without me, of course I'll be heartbroken, but I wouldn't blame him, i'm the one whose always done the hurting, through I've never tried(obviously it was nothing like cheating, thats trying to hurt someone imo)
But he's hurting you, he has no right to beg.
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Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 2:33 pm
 Unless you want to put up with him undermining you like that for the rest of your life then dump him. It sounds like you guys are really and almost too different to be together. Or you can try to talk to him about it.
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Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:09 pm
Oh wow.. that's bad. D;
I mean.. a lot of people still don't understand why it's good to well.. reduce, reuse, and recycle.. or they think that it's too difficult to do it so they just don't.. and when someone bugs them about it they just call them a silly hippie.
But when you are dating someone they should respect your views not call you names and try to make it seem like you are stupid. D;
My boyfriend wasn't huge on recycling or anything really when we first started dating/living together so when he saw how a**l I was with it he laughed about it a bit.
I mean.. I want everything that can be recycled to be recycled even if it is a tiny receipt. XD
He understands why I'm like that though (I was raised like that) and I understand why he isn't like that (he wasn't raised like that) so obviously with some things we are going to clash a bit..
He respects what I don't want in the house, and what gets recycled in the house now.. like I don't like paper towel.. so we got one last pack.. and a 12 pack of household rags and tried to use to rags instead of paper towel.. while we still had paper towel in the house so we could adjust to the change slowly.. he called me crazy at first for thinking we could live without paper towels.. but we've been doing it for all of 2010 and we've been fine. >__<
Sure he'll call me a hippie once in a while when I see something organic or whatever and go "ouu" but it's always followed with "I love you" so I know he's just teasing. XD
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Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:54 pm
That's tough. My boyfriend and I agree to disagree as well. I'm still not so sure where my feelings lie when it comes to saving the world. I don't think it's as bad as the media would have us think, but I do think we should do something about it you know?
My boyfriend and I are total opposites, as he put it, I'm a hippie and he's a cannibal. (he doesn;t eat people) But he accepts me for being a vegetarian, and he understands why I choose not to eat meat, so that was very nice of him =) We disagree on alot of stuff, but somehow, we're perfect together.
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Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 8:07 am
I wonder if you guys realize that the OP was dated in January of this year.... and she hasn't replied to the most recent posts.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:27 am
LOL, sorry, I was browsing through the guild and COMPLETELY forgot about this. We are indeed broken up, this wasn't even what did it. We were definitely incompatible in a lot of ways but I fell in love with him, we stayed together another 3 months almost after posting this. His jackass friend became even more of a jackass. I thought of breaking it off multiple times and then in the end he dumped me because of the "long distance" would never workout and said that when he gets stationed (in 3 years) we would for sure break up then and it's easier to just end it now. rolleyes
Yeah, I was bummed for a whole month and now I'm glad it's over. I mean I loved him but we clashed in a lot of ways, AND his best friend and I totally hate each other's guts.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:14 pm
Gabrielle_AnimalLuver LOL, sorry, I was browsing through the guild and COMPLETELY forgot about this. We are indeed broken up, this wasn't even what did it. We were definitely incompatible in a lot of ways but I fell in love with him, we stayed together another 3 months almost after posting this. His jackass friend became even more of a jackass. I thought of breaking it off multiple times and then in the end he dumped me because of the "long distance" would never workout and said that when he gets stationed (in 3 years) we would for sure break up then and it's easier to just end it now. rolleyes Yeah, I was bummed for a whole month and now I'm glad it's over. I mean I loved him but we clashed in a lot of ways, AND his best friend and I totally hate each other's guts. I'm glad there was a fairly positive outcome. (Opposed to staying in a relationship that you were unhappy with.) I also didn't know you skied! (Clicked your signature.) I was on skis first year I could walk... though you couldn't tell!
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:26 pm
=.= omg, when are people going to learn that global warming means the planet is cooling down? Also that it's happening regardless of human interference (we sure as heck aren't helping though)
>> but anyway, I do agree we (if he's french I'm not sure what country you live in, but heck this applies to all countries) need to put more thought and action into the future and preserving the little natural environment we still have as well as live more counciously of what we are using and at what rate.
And as far as your problems go, I am ( or rather was, atheist) and have been in a relationship for 5 years with a catholic. I cant believe we have never had a problem over this XD, but you would be surprised how much it often doesn't matter in a relationship. So I think you guys will be fine. Politics on the other hand can be problematic, but unless you are both extremists I'm sure it will be fine. Maybe he will come around and decide you are right, or meet you half way there. Good luck.
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