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 Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 8:09 pm
I'll keep you my dirty little secret...
So there's this girl that I like at school. While I know she's gay through a mutual friend of ours, she doesn't know that I'm gay. We also don't know each other that well.
Basically, I'm wondering two things. Should I tell her that I like her right away, or should I wait to see if she is really someone that I want to date. Alternatively, I could also tell her that I like her, but tell her that I want to get to know her first.
Actually, before that, I want to know how to tell her that I am also gay. Is there a way of telling her without making it awkward?
Thanks!
...don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 10:00 pm
Alright, I'm a guy, but I went through the same thing. sorta.
Get her alone, find an excuse to get her alone. Start talking, about different things. STOP. If she seems like the girl you want, ask to share secrets, and tel her. Then let it all coast from there. Thats how I got my man today.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 10:04 pm
I'll keep you my dirty little secret...
Hmmm. To be honest, I barely know her. I was thinking of talking to her for at least a couple more weeks to get a better feel for her personality.
I'll keep what you said in mind when I know her well enough to say that I want to date her. c:
Thank you!
...don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret.
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 8:29 pm
trust me, you NEED to get to know her first. my last ex and i had known each other for a couple weeks (literally, prolly two weeks) before we started dating, but she knew i was a lesbian because my friend was an a-hole and told her.
anyways, after spending x amount of time with her and getting extremely annoyed by repeated stories and self-centered characteristics, i finally broke her heart. don't waste your time with someone you may not love in the end.
the girl i'm with now, i've known a very long time. you don't have to know her for, like, years. just become very close friends with her. after awhile, maybe once you get close, she'll either figure out you're gay, or you guys will be good enough friends for you to tell her. it's no big deal. you just need to make sure she's the girl you want.
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the_forgotten_thought Captain
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2010 2:53 pm
I'll keep you my dirty little secret...
I see. c:
I was thinking the same thing; I don't want to end up dating someone that turns out to be nothing like I expected.
I've started talking to her more, and I'm not sure if we really have all that much in common, but then again, we've only had light conversation about things like tea and kids shows.
My other friend recommended that I get to know her, and then bring up the subject of being gay while talking, like you said.
The only problem is that she apparently has a crush on her straight friend. While I don't think they'll go anywhere, I won't be able to date her if she likes someone else.
I'll just continue to talk to her and see how everything works out. Thanks for all your help!
...don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret.
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:38 am
Hm, you don't have to tell her directly, "I'm gay."
I find it easier to mention it in conversation, like suppose you start talking about music with her. Ask her who her favorite singer is, then maybe you could say, "I think so and so is very sexy.." etc.. She might be like, "Oh, cool. I think she's hot too." Or something similar.
Get to know her first. Talk about regular things, and never be afraid to talk about girls around her. The more open you are about it, the more likely she will be open about her sexuality around you.
When you feel comfortable and know you can count on her as a friend, just tell her you like her. Don't be like, "I like you." though. Just go somewhere alone with her or sometimes it's easier to say it on the phone or online rather than face to face. Just tell her exactly how you feel. She might like you back.
Good luck with this though! =]
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:42 pm
I'll keep you my dirty little secret...
Ah, I see. I always have difficulty thinking of things to say around the person I like. D; I should really ask her more about her.
I'll take your advice and see how it goes. Thank you! c:
...don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret.
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:25 pm
the_forgotten_thought trust me, you NEED to get to know her first. my last ex and i had known each other for a couple weeks (literally, prolly two weeks) before we started dating, but she knew i was a lesbian because my friend was an a-hole and told her. anyways, after spending x amount of time with her and getting extremely annoyed by repeated stories and self-centered characteristics, i finally broke her heart. don't waste your time with someone you may not love in the end. the girl i'm with now, i've known a very long time. you don't have to know her for, like, years. just become very close friends with her. after awhile, maybe once you get close, she'll either figure out you're gay, or you guys will be good enough friends for you to tell her. it's no big deal. you just need to make sure she's the girl you want. okay sorry i HAVE to respond to this. While i agree that yes you need to get to know them first(it just works out better that way) you do not need to date just to find love. Don't actually look for it cause you'll never find it. The way it is found is by dating just for fun, otherwise if you just date to find love you might end up ruling someone out that would really be perfect for you. So thats what i have to say. oh and about what to say around her. start the conversation by giving her a compliment. that usually helps especially cause you can ask about where she got it and so on. then switch topics to something more interesting.
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Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 1:47 pm
I'll keep you my dirty little secret...
Well, I think 'the_forgotten_thought' was talking about making sure that you know who you're going to be dating, because if you don't know them and they turn out to be nothing like you expected, you'd regret it. I don't think she was talking about finding love.
You're right though; at least in my opinion. Love will come when it does, and searching for it will make your expectations so unbelievably high that you'll never find what you're looking for.
Oh okay. I'm actually not very good at conversation starters, so maybe I'll give that a try. Thanks! c:
...don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret.
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Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 5:40 pm
i've gone thro this like 7 times now lol
just start as those awkward meeting a new friend as school type of thing.then start being more nice like doing stuff for her like you wouldn't do for others. then...start asking about a topic in which sexuality is mentioned (DO NOT START A TOPIC OF SEXUALITY) just sneak it in there. it helps alot. once she knows then u can let her peice her bits of info together so u can manipulate her choices without her knowing it. it's all a mental war in which u just have to think harder 3nodding if it's starting to not work in your way,just blurt out the randomest thing u can think of.
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Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 8:45 pm
HeartCrossed_Left2Die the_forgotten_thought trust me, you NEED to get to know her first. my last ex and i had known each other for a couple weeks (literally, prolly two weeks) before we started dating, but she knew i was a lesbian because my friend was an a-hole and told her. anyways, after spending x amount of time with her and getting extremely annoyed by repeated stories and self-centered characteristics, i finally broke her heart. don't waste your time with someone you may not love in the end. the girl i'm with now, i've known a very long time. you don't have to know her for, like, years. just become very close friends with her. after awhile, maybe once you get close, she'll either figure out you're gay, or you guys will be good enough friends for you to tell her. it's no big deal. you just need to make sure she's the girl you want. okay sorry i HAVE to respond to this. While i agree that yes you need to get to know them first(it just works out better that way) you do not need to date just to find love. Don't actually look for it cause you'll never find it. The way it is found is by dating just for fun, otherwise if you just date to find love you might end up ruling someone out that would really be perfect for you. So thats what i have to say. oh and about what to say around her. start the conversation by giving her a compliment. that usually helps especially cause you can ask about where she got it and so on. then switch topics to something more interesting. And THATS exactly what I did with my actual bf and THATS what I was about to mention. I totally Agree. I always say, "Don't try to find love, Love will find you." If you try to look for love on the relationship, you'll not end become friends which I believe is essential on a relationship. Also, one easy way to say "I'm gay" that I used when I was more young was talking about something gay related and saying.. "Oh yes, I don't know if I mentioned, but I'm gay..*laugh*"
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