Cigende x Kgopsa
Users Jikde Bonyac x This could be more sonic


It seemed only a short while ago that Kgopsa's eyes had opened up for the first time. His world was full of wonder and beautiful things. He saw his first sunrise, his first blue sky. His siblings were always ready to play, and his mama and papa were always nearby.

So short had his life been so far, but he enjoyed every second, and eagerly yearned for more.

On a perfectly wonderful day, after having one of his first real meals of meat with his sisters, he sat in their small den and happily licked himself clean. This new food was so tasty, he just couldn't get enough! Once clean, he looked around for something to do, and spotted his mama. Happily he padded over to her. He wanted to try his newfound language skills with her.

Cigende sniffed the morning air, noting with frustration a hint of a breeze from distant grasslands. She had traveled all her life, but an unexpected fling and the consequences had left her stuck in one place. Her meager mothering instincts kept her vigilant over her pups, but it would be months or more before they could keep up with her on the lengthy journeys that were a part of her nature. She couldn't wait that long. The far wind and lonely sky called to her, as they always did. She missed the silence. Now, she had only the yips of small bodies.

She spotted her only son coming over to her, and suppressed a sigh. He wanted to talk again. She'd been trying to teach them as much as she could in a short time. She'd gotten them weaned onto red meat a few weeks early with no problems so far. But it had been a mistake, she thought, to try to teach them to speak. Now they chattered like noisy birds, and she never got a decent rest.

Though he saw the sad look on her face, this just didn't register with Kgopsa. This was how mama always looked.

He trotted over and nuzzled her foot. Then he chewed on it a little. Then he prodded it with his own feet, and danced around trying to encourage some play. But it didn't seem mama was interested this morning, so he curled up between her legs and lay on his back, looking up at her.

"'Ama," he said, pleased with the sound of his own voice, "'Atcha lookin' at?" Before he could get a response, his brain switched gears. "I saw a bug 'es'erday. Was a big 'un. Was 'reen an' b'ue an' it 'ad wings an' it went up a 'ree, an' it didn' come down again. An' there was ano'her bug, but it wasn' b'ue, it was b'ack an' it had shpots."

Cigende stared down at the little creature she had spawned with a befuddled expression, one that was becoming used by her more and more, the longer she spent around her offspring. Even now she didn't quite know what to make of the whole situation. She knew babies came out of mothers, but she had never expected it to happen to her! She had only had a bit of fun with a fellow hyena, and then before she knew it, there were little things that needed nursing and caring for, and they never shut up!

She had to admit though, they were awfully cute some of the time. She leaned down and blew at the fur on her son's belly, and teased him with her nose.

Wriggling and giggling, Kgopsa swatted at his mama's nose. He loved when she did that. "'Ama, stoppit!" he whined, but at the same time he wrapped his legs around her face to keep her close. He blew air into her nose, and licked her all over, pleased as punch to be spending some quality time with his dear mama.

He rolled back over and dashed away, then turned and bounced eagerly to get her attention.

"Play wit' me, 'Ama!" He yipped joyfully and threw himself about in circles. "Play wit' me play wit' me playwitme 'Amamamama!" He was so excited that he dropped into speechless yips and barks.

Cigende was getting excited herself, and leapt to her feet to chase after her son. This was the only really good bit about being a mother; she was so much a child at heart herself, that playing with her children came as naturally as breathing. She hopped back and forth, tagging Kgopsa with her nose and then ducking away before he could tag her back.

She wagged her tongue and yipped back at her son, and also tossed herself about, leaping into the air and rolling on the ground in boisterous bouts of gyration. She was secretly pleased that some of her children sometimes mimicked her excitable nature. Grinning wolflike, she shook her head teasingly, taunting the little hyena.

Scrambling in the dirt, Kgopsa raced after his mama and galloped circles around her. He attempted some leaps like hers, only to trip over his own feet and go flopping down again. But he kept at it, unheeding any self-given bruises.

He was definitely his mother's son. In fact, he was named him for his many failed attempts to be as acrobatic as her... "Kgopsa" meant "to fall over", after all.

He dove for her feet. Grabbing her toes in his jaws, he gnawed away with glee. He was too young to think about the pain he might be causing her. All he knew was, it was time to play. So he put his full jaw strength into the attack.

Cigende jerked away and snapped instinctively at her son. She regretted it immediately. She had just responded to the pain without thinking. Her mood suddenly foul again, she stood and padded away, and sat down on the edge of their den, staring out at the horizon.

She was incompetent at this mothering thing completely, it seemed. She did feel some tender affection for her offspring, it was true, but when it came to tending to them, she felt nothing but confusion and panic, and a growing desperation to get away. She'd been fleeing all her life; to flee from this unknown new problem. Correction, problems. And now she was coming to the end of her nerves.

Pouting at her sudden lack of interest, Kgopsa waddled over to his mama and nudged her, oblivious to her state of mind. "'Aaaama, wanna plaaay." When she didn't respond, he settled for a quick romp by himself at her side. He wiggled and waggled and rolled in the dirty, happily amused by his own body. Sometimes that body caused him problems, like when his feet suddenly switched places and he went tumbling tail over head, but all in all he thought it was a pretty fine body.

He didn't have anything for comparison, after all.

But he only had so much attention span. Bored of himself, he latched onto his mama again. "'Ama 'ama 'ama, whatcher lookin' at? Somefin out there?" He peered into the distance, trying to see for himself.

Cigende sighed wistfully. "Yes, everything." She shook her head to clear it, and turned to her son again. But as she peered deep into his blue eyes, so much like her own, the panic surged, and the desire to escape overtook her. She found herself pacing with pent up energy and gnawing on her jaws. She kept looking back and forth from her son to the horizon. One she cared for, truly she did, despite his whining and his neediness and the constant noise, and all the problems it had caused her. The other was the one she loved and knew, had always known. It was all she had ever known.

"I can't do this." It came out unexpectedly, but after she said it, suddenly she realized she meant it. "I can't do this," she repeated, with more conviction.

Following in her footsteps with his own tiny ones, Kgopsa found this very enjoyable. He paced too and mimicked her expression with a serious, solemn one of her own. He tried to chew his jaws, but only managed to bite his own tongue. He yelped in pain. Okay, not all of it was fun.

Bored again, he spotted an ant crawling across the ground. Delighted, he pounced on it and scampered around it with frantic enthusiasm. But then he stepped on it and it stopped moving. Now it wasn't interesting anymore, it just lay there.

"Can' do wha', 'Ama?" He gazed up at her with rapt attention. That probably wouldn't last long though.

She stared down into her son's eyes again, and felt lost. The far horizon was calling, so intense. But here were a pair of big blue eyes, completely trusting. It was the hardest decision she had ever made.

Well, they had a father, didn't they? He seemed the caring type. Her pups wouldn't end up parentless the way she had. And the father belonged to a pack, with its own territory and everything. Best thing for them, really. A pack and relatives, everything they could possibly need. It wasn't like she was abandoning them to the elements. And it was foolish to think she could have stayed, anyway. Join them and be part of a pack? More than her own company left her crowded, over a half dozen others would have her climbing the walls.

"Baby," she began, and had to take a breath before she could continue. "Mama's gonna have to go away for awhile. A long while."

It took him a long second to figure out what she was saying, but it got through eventually, and Kgopsa's muzzle began to quiver. "Wha'? 'Ama's gonna go 'way?" He thought about it, and started laughing. "No wai', 'Ama bein' silly. Righ' 'Ama?"

He grinned up at her, and slowly the grin faded from his face and turned to confusion. She didn't look like she was joking. But no. Mama wouldn't go away. Why would she? Mama was a fact of the universe. There was no no-Mama. That was a world not worth thinking about.

"'Ama can' go 'way," he stated firmly, puffing out his chest demandingly. "'Ama's bein' silly."

It hurt Cigende to see him so conflicted, but she had to go through with this before she could doubt her decision. She licked her son tenderly, straightening out his meager mane. "Baby, Mama can't stay. Some day, if you end up as much like me as you are already, you'll understand." She only realized now how deep her pups had made it into her heart now that it was starting to hurt. But she would deal with the pain later. "Mama belongs to the horizon. See?"

She gestured at the view with a leg. "See the place where the ground touches sky? No matter how far you walk, you can never reach that place. But it calls to me all the time, tells me to try to reach it. Mama has to try. It's who she is." She huffed a breath and blew against his soft fur and stroked him fondly. "Mama loves you very much. And she'll come back someday, I promise. I'll come and visit when I can. But I can never stay."

Shaking his head, Kgopsa took a few steps back, backing away her with pain in his expression. "'Ama, noooo." He sniffled, and tried harder, thinking maybe the problems was that he wasn't speaking clearly enough. "Mmmama. Mama no, don' go uh-way." He glared at the place where the ground touched the sky. He didn't see what the big deal was. It touched the sky. Why try to go there?

He looked around for his sisters to back him up, but they were off doing something else. Papa wasn't here either. It was just him and mama. And she was going to leave him all alone?!

Rushing back to her, he tried to burrow into her side. Maybe if he was closer to her, he could stay closer to her. It didn't make sense, but he wasn't thinking clearly.

"Mama mama mama mama," he sobbed. "Mama don' go."

Her heart throbbing with misery, Cigende pushed her son away with her nose. "Baby, I have to." She nudged him back into the roughly-made den where he'd been born. "Go on, go on back inside and wait for your father to come back from hunting. You tell him what I said about the horizon, and tell your sisters." She should do it herself, but the wanderlust was gripping her firmly now, and every second not on the move dragged on her. She had to go, and she had to go now.

She took one last look at her only son, then took to her heels and fled into the brush. She went as quickly as she could, and ignore the terrible guilt that ate away at her insides. She focused instead on the wind and the scents it brought. There was a hint of rain in the air, and the smell of distant herds. She could maybe make it out of the pack's territory before dark, and leave her only family far behind.

Staring out at the far horizon, Kgopsa watched his mother slowly disappear into it. He sat at the edge of the den and watched the place where the ground touched the sky, and stayed there until the rain finally came and poured down upon him in thick drenches. And still he stayed.

He curled into himself, shivering and lonely. But he didn't dare take his eyes off that distant line. Nothing moved on it, nothing changed, but he watched it with all his might.

He ignored his family when they returned. He ignored their surprise at mama's absence. He even ignored them as night fell and papa tried to bring him inside. And as night fell, he let out a faint, timid, but mournful howl.