Welcome to Gaia! ::

lemme say this... if you do buy that gun with your refund check, it better be a present to someone inside a box and nicely wrapped.

Don't think the world is better off without you. there's no point in thinking that. For one, there are people in this guild that would be heart-broken to learn of your passing. I know you can think of the people that would be hurt, no matter how much you try denying it. Its too easy and simple to let yourself go when you're in the woes of despair. Don't let it claim you. You'll only succeed in letting your own dreams and hopes going down the drain.

Think of what you really want and go for it. If your mother gets in your way, maybe its time to shove her aside, despite the pain it may bring her, and do what you need to do for yourself. If you're waiting for people to change how they feel about you, you'll very well be waiting for the rest of your life. You can't force people to change, but you have more than enough power to change yourself. Just need to recognize whats needed to be changed.

People tend to get so occupied with their lives that they'll end up forgetting about the friends they used to hang out with. Remind them you're still here.

Not that I am thinking about it to terrible hard right now but it is comforting to know that they are there

AAANND you're wrong.

I got JOKINGLY passive aggressive when you kept insulting tools, who at the time, I was really buddy-buddy with. When I took you off my relationship status, I meant that in a joking way, like "you have upset me -tear- we are broken up!" I didn't mean for it to blow up, which is why I got upset and kept pushing for you to be my friend again.

Why?

Because even though you can be a total b***h to the people you dislike, you're also affectionate to the people you do, and smart to boot. You have a lot of potential to grow as a person, and all I wanted to be was someone to stick by yah. I've been your friend for years, and what made me leave was you threw me aside. Given the fact that we were both very active in the guild and seeing you post and completely ignore me just hurt my feelings. I liked you Robin. I still do. Would I be sad if you put a gun to your head? Yes. Corey, someone I wish I had appreciated more, did that. I still feel really depressed when I think about what happened to him.

Whether you like it or not, you're a chunk of my history, so I'm going to love you even if you refuse to accept it.

But I really think you should reconsider your living arrangements. Your mom is still abusive, even if it is an emotional thing, and you can do better. Easier said then done, but find something, ANYTHING. You don't need to be living somewhere you're belittled at.

And as for your friends, maybe you're being a bit paranoid about it because you're afraid of getting hurt, so you put on a facade and when something small happens, you blow it up to be bigger then it really is. Not saying you can change that over night, but hot damn girl, you'd realize that there's a lot more people out there that still care about you if you give them a chance to redeem themselves quicker. Not everyone is your mother, not everyone is that male-interest of yours, not everyone out there is out to get you.

I know I'm not.

But maybe I'm wrong? I'm not Robin, I'm Kaylee. -shrug- I tried.

YES.

I admitted it was childish. I'm 16, I'm human, I make mistakes JUST LIKE YOU. I apologized for it. It was a small mistake that blew up into a big ol' fight. I left because it hurt to know that someone hated me, even if they were "interacting with me" for the sake of the guild.

I wasn't posting here to comment on how much of a "bad person" you are or that I think you should change. I edited your post as a JOKE. This isn't a fight. This is me trying to clear things up. This is coming from the horse's mouth, not the paranoid voices in your head.

Goddamn Robin. You're unhappy because you jump the gun too quickly 'bout everything. Someone stumbles on accident, and you drop them out of your life because you're too afraid of people hurting you, but in turn you're hurting yourself.
I'm saying I will care if you kill yourself. You don't see that, you see "This b***h did xyz things to me, she's evil evil evil" and I'm not evil evil evil.

I don't care about the drama. Hate me if that's what makes your life better. Call me childish, juvenile, stupid, whatever if it makes you feel good. But for ******** sake, don't ******** kill yourself.

THAT is sinking down to a 'childish', 'juvenile' level that's lower then where I'm at in your world. You're better then that. You have more to live for then the bullshit you're in right now.

I'm telling you now, even though I think you can piss me off like my Dad does, and you can be a super b***h without realizing it (and if you weren't being bitchy to tools and I took it that way, my bad, it's the internet, we only can only read things in our head and assume what's going on) I LOVE YOU.

You're AWESOME.

And once you stop sinking down to my stupid c**t level, happiness will blossom. If you don't like life, ******** CHANGE IT.

Goddamn I love you. I would throw in a name at the end here as a joke, but I don't want to piss you off more then this post will.