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It's a formal expression of monogamy, which like most things that religion has got it's mitts on, has been blown waaaay out of proportion.

My advice would be not to worry about it. It's better than a lot of habits he could have picked up.

Mormonism......Eh not the best choice but he could have done a lot worse. Like Val said things like this get tend to blown way out of proportion when it is a religious belief. Mormonism might be the perfect example of this, in case you didn't know they aren't even allowed to have caffeine. But my main point would be that I don't think that the altering natural being was the passage he was referring to. Did you use their bible? They have several major differences compared to most forms of Christianity. I don't even know why they are considered part of Christianity considering those differences. But alas I digress as I often do, what is written in almost any major religion is their idea of the ideal fairy tale pairing, they don't include most of the outcomes or eventuality's of events leading up to marriage. Commitment doesn't really apply here, or at least not as well considering most of the sects of Mormonism are polygamist or allow it.

Basically, this. People will always make their own choices (unless they're being strongarmed into something), and as long as it's their own personal business and isn't harming anyone else, it doesn't really matter what you or anyone else thinks of it. Of course, I'd say becoming a Mormon and being celibate is a step up from being a druggie and sleeping around indiscriminately, so I wouldn't give your friend too much flak. biggrin

I'm someone who has decided not to have sex before marriage, for religious as well as practical and personal reasons. My boyfriend, thankfully, made the same decision for himself before we even met. We've been together for a year and a half now and haven't had sex or anything close to it. Some people would be aghast and wonder how you can even call that a relationship, but we're very happy together, largely because we can enjoy each other's company without feeling any pressure to do too much sexually. It's just how we do things, and it works for us.

In our society a lot of people treat marriage as disposable. It's something that lasts as long as it seems convenient, and gets chucked out the window as soon as it gets to be too much work or a more attractive prospect comes along. That doesn't mean that the principle of commitment is worth any less, just that people don't understand or care about committing. And on the flip side it is true that people can commit without being married. It all just means that you really can't generalize and judge people on such superficial terms.

And that purity ball thing... is just scary. You can influence your daughter to make good choices without making the choices for her. neutral

In my opinion, from a woman's side, it's sort of... throwing away something of vast importance. It's like giving in to temptation and impatience and sacrificing something for a momentary pleasure. For the men, they're giving in to baser instincts instead of waiting.

Though in my opinion, it's less waiting for marriage itself than for a highly committed relationship. If you're living with your significant other but for some reason you aren't married (for instance, you may be homosexual and unable to get married in your state) or you're still only engaged or for some other reason that I wouldn't think of, that's one thing. But I don't know if sex is the right thing to bring in to a relationship that's any less than that. To my mind, it and marriage (or whatever the pair decides to be a significant symbol of their commitment) are the ultimate expressions of attachment.

Not to mention that sex, no matter how safe you try to be, can still spread disease. Sure, you could get diseases from any number of other places, up to and including canned food, but why take an unnecessary risk?

So in short, no, I do not believe that people should have sex before marriage. Not that I think it's necessarily morally wrong, but I think it's not really the best choice that could be made.

I know one of my best friends (she'll be my roommate next year when we get a choice in the matter) has had sex. And it hasn't changed my opinion of her. She's still the same person, but all the same, I have to question her choice.

Note, of course, that this is an opinion coming from an atheistic asexual who would never consent to have sex with anyone, whether or not I'm married, and due to my total lack of physical attraction to people, I could be vastly underestimating the importance of sex.

so if you take another peek into that bible of yours, you will see that God created woman for man and that was the institution of marriage. so it is holy...

whether modern society wishes to acknowledge that or not, marriage is supposed to be faithful and 100% committed.

i agree with people that having sex is part of saying "i trust you" or "i truly love you" but wouldn't it make your wedding night even more special if you saved each other's virginity for that night? i mean it's really sweet and i hope i can hold out that long. it isn't a walk in the park but in the long run, i think it would pay off

What relationship isn't supposed to be faithful? Just because a couple isn't married it's perfectly okay for them to cheat?

That's a matter of opinion. I personally don't think losing your virginity is special. If anything, it's awkward or painful. That would sure as hell would've ruined my wedding night for me.

And if having sex is saying "I trust you", you do not need to be married to trust somone. I sure as hell hope you trust them before you marry them.

just because a couple isn't married doesn't mean it's ok to cheat. it's worse to cheat when you're married as opposed to when you're dating.

you're right, it is up to the individual whether their virginity is important or not.

about the "i trust you" part- yes, you have to trust them before you're married but you don't have to show trust with sex.
in my religion, marriage is when the couple "becomes one". yeah it doesn't make much sense but i think it's trying to say is that before marriage, you build different kinds of trust. but when you're married, you live together and protect each other. so it's like a body trust and i guess sex is an expression of that.

remember your first kiss. that was special wasnt it? the first time someone has sex is special. why not share that special moment with the person you marry and make it even more special by having sex on your marriage night. it adds to the romance.