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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 7:20 pm
Well many years back while in college, I wrote a little battle scene as I was imagining it in my head. Back then I could easily see images of the scene and every movement associated with it... but alas now I don't visualize stories as much when reading them for some reason. So I got some courage up to post this here and see what people opinions of it are. As a setup it is a typical fantasy setting with all associated races, monsters, etc... and it is going on about 15+ years since I have last looked at this, so hopefully it's as good as I seem to remember.
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Silverhair stood close to the ancient tree, his body hidden by the tree's immense size. He cocked his head so that he could hear any movement up ahead in the forest. The pudgy fingers on his hand were gripped tightly around the well-worn handle of a battleaxe. The blade was almost invisible in the twilighted night. However, if one looked closely, the black blade could be seen as a darkness blacker than the night surrounding it. As the tense moments ticked by, Silverhair could here no sounds in the night except the beating of his own heart. Suddenly a twig snapped up ahead around the tree, and some muffled voices complained about the noise. Judging the position of his pursuers by the noise, Silverhair waited for four breaths then charged around the tree with his battleaxe leading the way. The blade ripped through someone's clothing and the body that happened to be underneath in one fluid movement. The green skinned victim only had enough time to look down at the gash before his top and bottom half separated and he collapsed to the ground dead. As if this sight was not enough for the companion next to him, a boot came out of the darkness from nowhere and smashed him in the stomach sending him flying backwards. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he hit a tree with a very audible thud.
By this time, Silverhair noticed that the other four members of the patrol had regained their composure and were heading for him with swords leading. As one crossed a beam of moonlight and the wind blew over Silverhair, he confirmed its race with disgust. Green skin, piggish nose, two small yellow tusks protruding from its mouth, tattered clothing with an armor pieced together from various others, and that unmistakable odor. They were definitely orcs, and Silverhair hated orcs. He judged the odds of four to one as not fair, for the orcs. So Silverhair grabbed the shield off his back, deciding to use only one weapon instead of the usual two. A normal person might be worried at the odds, but Silverhair was not a normal person he was a dwarf. He is three feet nine inches tall and two hundred and fifty pounds, all of it muscle. Besides that he was mad, very mad, and these orcs were helping to protect the thief. Therefore, there was no other recourse; he would have to kill them all. As the front two attacked, Silverhair blocked one blade with his shield and caught the other with his battleaxe. Pushing with his shield, he forced one back then promptly stomped the other's ankle temporarily stunning him. As the first orc renewed his attack by lunging around the shield, Silverhair rolled around the second orc and shield smashed the attackers back. As the orc fell forward into a tree trunk dropping his sword, Silverhair charged the rear two orcs. Howling a battle cry of "For the Axeblade's honor" he swung his battleaxe in a wide arc forcing both enemies' swords to the side. From the position he quickly shoulder blocked one in the chest, knocking it to the ground three paces back. Reversing his grip on the axe, Silverhair swung the axe back slicing the standing orcs throat, nearly severing its head. Realizing that his back was vulnerable he charged the fallen orc and ran over him, making sure to stomp him hard in the chest and head.
Reaching a tree five paces ahead Silverhair quickly twirled around to check his handiwork. As he looked for the orcs, he saw that the only one standing was running in the opposite direction. He decided that he had better chase it down so that it could not alert the thief he was here. Running past the stomped orc, he saw that he had gotten a luck shot and crushed the things' throat. Passing the other stunned orc against the tree Silverhair stopped long enough to behead it, then took off after the last remaining orc. As he followed the orc deeper into the woods, Silverhair thought about the past two weeks.
It had all started when he had returned to his clan after ten years of adventuring throughout the world. He knew something was wrong when he found the entrance doors to his home blasted opened. Cautiously entering with his two battleaxes ready, Silverhair searched the first two levels of the cavern for clues. Finding only dead bodies of dwarfs, orcs and some giantkins scattered around, made him even more unnerved. Searching the entire complex, finally turned up a few orcs still looting the place. Interrogating them, the only way a mad dwarf can, Silverhair learned that the 'Great One' had lead the assault. This so called 'Great One' had desolated the entire Axeblade clan and stolen the clan's ancestral weapon, a magical adamantium bladed battleaxe. Tracking the rest of the army down had not been difficult, thanks to the orcs leaving easy to follow trails. Now here Silverhair was, coming to assault the 'Great Ones' lair and take back his ancestral weapon. It was his duty, as the last known Axeblade, to reclaim the weapon and pass it on to a worthy individual before he dies. This 'Great One' was definitely not his choice. He would regret what he done to the Axeblade clan, and orc or giantkin or anything for that matter was not going to stop Silverhair from his duty.
Back in the forest, Silverhair started to catch up to the orc in a small clearing. Knowing that he had to end this quickly, before they reached to mountain, Silverhair aimed and threw his battleaxe at the enemy. It caught the unknowning orc right in the back, causing a shower of blood to shoot into the air as he fell to the ground. Slowly approaching, Silverhair watched the orc to make sure it was dead. Seeing that it was, he pulled this battleaxe out of wiped the blood off on the thing's shirt. Returning the shield to its resting place, Silverhair started off again towards the mountain.
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Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 10:04 am
That is so cool! I love the action and the pacing of the back story.
My one little criticism is your general use of tense. There are some parts where you say things like "He was, he did, he verb-ed" in general past tense. And then are are other parts were it's "He is, he does, he verb-s" in the present tense. I just mention this because a unified tense makes things a little easier to read. It also helps keep coherent time line in the reader's mind.
Other than that, I can only say it was too short! I want to know more about Silverhair and the Orcs. And especially this Thief! If you don't want to post anymore, would you send it to me? It sounds so good!
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ScarletFrost Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:34 pm
ScarletFrost That is so cool! I love the action and the pacing of the back story. My one little criticism is your general use of tense. There are some parts where you say things like "He was, he did, he verb-ed" in general past tense. And then are are other parts were it's "He is, he does, he verb-s" in the present tense. I just mention this because a unified tense makes things a little easier to read. It also helps keep coherent time line in the reader's mind. Other than that, I can only say it was too short! I want to know more about Silverhair and the Orcs. And especially this Thief! If you don't want to post anymore, would you send it to me? It sounds so good! Thanks... unfortunately there isn't anything more really written down. It was all in my head really and that's what I got out at the time. See he was part of a group of heroes and I was thinking on all the back stories of each and that came up. I'll have to check through some papers and backup DVDs but I don't believe I ever wrote anymore about him. Never could quite get things straight... and if you didn't notice at the time I was probably highly influenced by the writer I was reading the most R.A. Salvatore. It was before he had 15 million Drizzt novels... *thinks* he had the original Icewind Dale trilogy, the Cleric Quintet (which by the way has one of my fav chars the dwarven druid Pikel) series. I don't know if he had any others at the time or not, but those are the two that really stuck in my mind.
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