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 Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 6:24 pm
Ugh...What a problem...Where to start?
I just got into a relationship with a girl from my school. Yes, and we are very romantic and lovey...
However we kept our relationship secret for a bit. The reason we did this, is well, A) it's no one else's business to know who I am dating, and B) Most of the girls who are friends with me...have huge crushes on me. So we think it would make them angry that their best friend-- my girlfriend, is dating the one who they have a huge crush on; me.
And the problem is they always tell her who they like, so it makes her seem like a bad person when she begins to date me. Especially when one of those jealous girls is my best friend. She is the one who gave me a rockin' deal on a laptop, after my old one broke, and the one who is always hanging out with me...
So today I decide to tell everyone, because if we kept it a secret for a while, then they would be more hurt and angered about it. So I thought what I did would be safe...
And it was disastrous. Now my once best friend won't talk to me anymore. I feel guilty, and so does my girlfriend, because they were really good friends as well. So now our external relationships are pretty much ruined.
I don't know what to say to repair the....broken mess. But I'm still very glad that I'm dating.
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Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 8:52 pm
I think that keeping it a secret would have been like leading the other girls on. So I think you did the right thing by telling people. If they want to get all pissy and jealous just because you decided to be with someone else, then you might be better off without them. True friends would understand if you wanted to be with someone else, and they would want you to be happy no matter how much they wanted you for themselves.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:38 pm
Sounds to me that those who got pissy and left out on you, probably just wanted to be your friend to eventually get with you maybe? If your girlfriend knows about this, talk to her first, keep her feeling good
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 8:42 pm
Hm...I see...But I JUST learned that this happened in the past. And apparently, My girlfriend and-- Ugh, I'm going to use names for this.
Raina-- my girlfriend, and her "best friend"-- Isabel, aren't so great friends.
Actually they were supposed to be enemies since last year. O_o
Now I didn't see any negativity from them when they were together....In fact, she doesn't even mind when Raina comes over to her house. I was there, and they were quite happy.
I was told from two different sources contradictory information, and they are being cryptic. I am quite confused and this whole thing has left me naive. I feel like a child that everyone is trying to protect. The girls...
*Twitch, twitch* NOW I know why I need more guy friends.
Maybe if I have sex with both girls, they'll feel better. >:3
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:38 pm
don't do that. This is an issue that the girls are going to have to handle on their own. Just stay true to your girlfriend and be a cool guy. But it seems like the other girls were only friends with you because they wanted you and since they can't get what they want they have no need for you. But don't take it to heart, they will get over themselves and see they are leaving a really good friend and they will be back.
* Yes invest in guy friends. Guys are so cool to hang out with, when girls have cat fights
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Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 12:24 am
LorienLlewellyn I think that keeping it a secret would have been like leading the other girls on. So I think you did the right thing by telling people. If they want to get all pissy and jealous just because you decided to be with someone else, then you might be better off without them. True friends would understand if you wanted to be with someone else, and they would want you to be happy no matter how much they wanted you for themselves. Pretty much. True friends wouldn't get pissy over something like that, they'd be happy for you in the end, regardless of whether they're male or female. I usually have some guy friends, I find they're generally easier to get along with than girls. But as I said, regardless of gender, a true friend would put aside their negative feelings (or at least not bring them up with you) and be happy for you. Anyone who stops talking to you or stops being your friend is being immature. If they won't get over it, then move on and find new friends who will be supportive of your relationship.
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Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:12 pm
Thank you! I appreciate the help and support. I'll be sure to tell my somewhat distraught girlfriend, and the angry chicks, that they should be benign, and happier for me, rather than blatantly avoiding me.
Although more girls are mad at my girlfriend more than I.
O_O Including the one that JUST sent a text to me...
Hm....She wants to know if I'm mad at her.
I'm done. I wanna everything to go back to normal, with me dating Raina...And no one being mad at either of us.
Like, I got some freaky phone call from a private number with a girl in the background whispering something nasty to me. O_o WTF?
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 2:55 pm
Even if they are your best friends, how should they be the ones saying who you date? You guys made the first move. So they can be angry but you guys didn't necessarily do much harm.Talk to them and tell them. And think if the dating really is worth it.
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:07 am
This reminds me of an issue I had. When I started dating my boyfriend, one of my friends got sooo angry at me, because I didn't give him a chance. Nearly two years later, and he STILL talks s**t about me.
I'd like to say that...MAYBE, jsut maybe the girls will get over it. The ones who really want to be your friend will get over it in time. The ones who only wanted to get with you will not respect your decision and be pissed off.
Focus on your girlfriend, and her needs. That's what matters now. Not these girls who obviously only liked you in a very immature fashion. Like I said, the ones who are genuinely your friend will get over it.
And..no, don't have sex with both girls. I'm pretty sure neither girl will be happy with that, especially your girlfriend.
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