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 Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:48 pm
 Hidden deep underground the exact location of the office of the Otokage is kept hidden from all but his most trusted officers. Even members of the village are kept in the dark of it's location and are blindfolded before they are transported there via a special route. Paranoid and reclusive, the Otokage must never be barged in on. He summons you- you do not request an audience. Most missions are handed out directly to the team leaders rather than assigned in person. When he does meet with ninja it's in a barren concrete cell with a desk and rigid wooden chair and is lit only by a single small candlestick on the floor. His appearance is kept hidden by the dark. Only a few have seen his face...
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:44 pm
Mosτ εvεяγoиε's mαd нεяε. . .╔══════════♪♫♪♫══════════╗ Seika took small but brisk steps, heading towards the place the Otokage had summoned her. The girls arms were folded across her chest for obvious reasons. She had a normal habit of being just on time. As Seika approached her destination her foot steps slowed to a complete stop. She stood quietly in-front of the door, taking a deep breath. Since she was socially deprived of friends, Rumors about the Otokage never reached her. She'd have to find out about it the hard way. Seika raised her hand, her sleeve seemed to fall out of the way as she knocked lightly on the door. ╚══════════♫♪♫♪══════════╝
. . .γou maγ нαvε иoτιcεd τнατ
ι'm иoτ αℓℓ τнεяε mγsεℓғ.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 7:58 pm
 Shuniji Fuku rushed through the halls. Damn, there were a lot of them.
A shiny, silver megaphone bounced against equally shiny, silver pants from its place shoved between two belts. On the other side a scroll was hanging there carelessly in the same manner. That was the summons that had Shuniji vaulting over wandering residents of Sound Village that happened to get in his way.
It's not that he was late--never. He just wanted to show his dedication and enthusiasm in front of his rarely-seen boss.
If he could make an explosive entrance running through the door, then bonus.
He slowed to a screeching halt when he nearly ran into Seika in front of the "assignment room". He seemed to have gotten there in the knick of time--but not before Seika, which irked him.
The older shinobi brushed his long, blonde hair over his shoulder and glared down at her from behind as she knocked on the door.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 8:42 pm
As if to challenge the very nature of the gaudy attire they chose to adorn their bodies with- someone equally as eccentric chose to debut himself at this moment. Eccentric not only in his dress but all the way down to his core.
A small pile of pink dust swept in with a gust of the wind, but became animated the moment the natural wind died down.
It assembled, block by block, from the dusty floor up the most peculiar man they had laid eyes on in some time. There where rumors of course of the guardian of the village gate- but it seemed unfair to call them fairytales when the magnificently odd being was forming himself right there before them.
In a few seconds it was done. He seemed to have spilled like sand from some unseen cup in the ceiling in reverse- building himself up to the stature he held, quite an impressive sight to be sure.
"I think I smell baked-beans... do you smell baked-beans? It DOES smell like baked-beans and it's probably coming from my pants... do you agree?" He asked shoving his hips towards Shuniji's face- fully expecting him to smell.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:39 pm
<******** IT DOES NOT SMELL LIKE BAKED BEANS." Shuniji shot back as though burned. He wasn't--at least not physically, but he managed to recompose himself a moment later. He'd heard rumors about this guy--not that he actually believed they were true, but somehow he felt like he should have seen this coming. The feeling irritated him; almost as much as the guy's taste in clothing. It was too bland. He got points for being able to pull off the jumpsuit look, but the color... Shuniji almost smacked himself. He was pretty sure he'd just been sexually assaulted and yet he was still hiding behind Seika. He made up for it by leaping back in front of the weirdo in a manner that called for a pirouette, (but didn't actually because that would be gay.) and pointed at him while sneering indignantly. He refrained from putting his other hand on his hip. "Do you have any reason to be here? Because I'm pretty sure the psyche ward is that way." He flipped his hand so it was pointing back down the hall. ...Damnit, something really did smell like baked beans...
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:45 pm
"No...I'm pretty sure it smells like baked-beans..." Said the funny little ninja who seemed more interested in the origin of the smell than the two ninja in front of him.
He decided the armpit was a good place to start and his body seemed to follow his nose as he placed it in Seika's armpit. He moved with speed that was unreal- like one moment he was standing and then the movie skipped a few frames.
"Nope... can't land here... to many bad vibrations and not enough baked beans... do you agree?" He said, cheek deep in her armpit as he turned to consult Shuniji- fully expecting him to test the other side for bad vibrations.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:56 pm
'I'm going to count to ten. I'm going to count to ten and I will wake up on my own couch in my own home. Not the crappy cells, not the freaking hospital wing, and not this god-forsaken hallway. One... eight...'
Shuniji stood stiffly in the hall as he blankly looked on at the... spectacle. For once he was glad he wasn't in the center of attention... okay, so mildly satisfied with the situation, he just didn't want this guy invading his personal space again. Freaky... speedy... man..? Thing.
He absently glanced at the other wall for "bad vibrations". It seemed safest to just play along for now. He was pretty sure this guy could sense fear.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:07 pm
Mosτ εvεяγoиε's mαd нεяε. . .╔══════════♪♫♪♫══════════╗ ''H-hey!'' Seika jolted at his sudden movements, taking a few steps backwards. This guy was fast. . she didn't even Notice him till he had his nose. . in her. . .armpit. Was he on crack? She quickly crossed both her arms tightly around her chest. This guy. . .must be on something. She had NO clue what he was talking about. ''Oh! I'm pretty sure the smell is coming from Shun-kun over there.'' She assured him, pointing directly at Shun. Anything to get this strange man away from her. ╚══════════♫♪♫♪══════════╝
. . .γou maγ нαvε иoτιcεd τнατ
ι'm иoτ αℓℓ τнεяε mγsεℓғ.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:11 pm
Shuniji whipped around towards Seika.
"Hu--HEY, WAIT, NO, WHAT!?!?"
If he wasn't too busy flailing his arms like a lunatic, he might have pulled his megaphone for protection. Instead he jumped back and consequently into the wall he'd been nervously inspecting only a second ago.
"TRAITOR! YOU AND YOUR BAD BAKED BEAN VIBES!"
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:14 pm
He staggered after her for a few seconds before falling to the ground and shattering into a find pink dust that billowed out like when you drop a heavy book on a dusty desk.
However even before the dust was gone he was reformed with one elbow on Shuniji's shoulder.
"I think it's probably us... it probably is..." He said, as Shuniji suddenly had on the same gaudy jumpsuit as the crazy ninja.
"I left some in my pants a while back- you know- to keep it safe from THEM, but it went bad so I cleaned it out. That could be it? What do you think?" He asked him perfectly assured that what he was talking about was quite logical.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:22 pm
Shuniji grimaced in confusion at the stranger, not perturbed at all by the sudden proximity.
Then he noticed the jumpsuit.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME!?" He jerked back again. It would almost be considered dancing by now, but Shuniji was far too concerned with the sudden wardrobe change.
"PLEASEBEAGENJUTSUPLEASEBEAGENJUTSUPLEASEBEAGENJUTSU!" He shouted while trying to somehow shake the offending fabric off without touching it. It wasn't working very well.
The outfit was every bit as form-fitting as his usual get up and actually less revealing--comfy too. Of course it was also a single shade of grayish-white and associated with that guy, so Shuniji was naturally starting to consider the exploding tags he kept in his back pocket.
...Of his other pants. WHY WAS GOD SO CRUEL!?
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:28 pm
"O wait... it's not me... it's in yours... hold on..." He said and bent over to open the apparent "buttflap" (like on long-johns) that just seemed to come into existence when he needed it. He quickly shoved his hand down to search around the feet and soon found the object of his desire- an expired can of baked beans.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:35 pm
Mosτ εvεяγoиε's mαd нεяε. . .╔══════════♪♫♪♫══════════╗
Seika covered her mouth with her hand and let out a small laugh, her pink layered sleeve draped over her hip as she placed her other hand on it. For some reason that outfit was very. . .''form fitting'' for Shun. ''Looks nice on you, Shun~'' she jeered with a grin. ''With a little work you might be able to start a nice lil trend there, eh?'' she continued, letting out a small giggle. Who in the world wouldn't pass a opportunity to make fun of Shun? Though it kind of creeped her out. . .This guy wasn't normal at all.
╚══════════♫♪♫♪══════════╝
. . .γou maγ нαvε иoτιcεd τнατ
ι'm иoτ αℓℓ τнεяε mγsεℓғ.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:42 pm
"..."
'...'
...
Shuniji was, for lack of a better word, speechless. He was contemplating between stunned speechless and angry speechless. There was no way in hell he lived in this village. It must be some kind of genjutsu. If Seika was messing with his dreams again, he was going to flip--flip out on her that is, right now he was kind of busy flipping out on this joker.
Shuniji stared at the can the guy had pulled out of his...
Okay, if this is a genjutsu, it has to cancel right now.
"LISTEN UP YOU INSANE, ANNOYING, OFFENSIVE AND POSSIBLY RABID LUNATIC," he blared through his megaphone, still in the spandex and still with the open butt-flap, "I RAN ALL THE WAY DOWN THESE SLIMY, GODLESS CATACOMBS BECAUSE I GOT A SUMMONS FROM THE ******** OTOKAGE'S OFFICE! IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING OF IMPORTANCE--AND I DON'T MEAN YOUR RETARDED MYSTERY SMELLS--STATE IT NOW OR SO HELP ME, GENJUTSU OR NOT YOU WILL END UP WITH A CAN OF BEANS LODGED SO FAR UP YOUR a** IT WILL BE ALL YOU CAN SMELL FOREVER."
The words "beans" and "a**" echoed throughout the entire hallway threateningly. Shuniji was panting heavily with a crazed look in his eyes. He'd lose his voice at this rate, that is, if his mind didn't go first.
"AND GIVE ME BACK MY ******** UNDERWEAR!" he added as an afterthought.
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Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:55 pm
A malicious little smile slipped it's lips.
"Oh? So you know this is an illusion... well our vibrations are in-sync with his wishes... he resonated wrong so we all resonate wrong. You have to jive to survive..." He mused as the edges of both of your visions burned and faded like someone was holding a blowtorch to a film reel you where watching.
The two where in another room, lit only by a single candle. In room with them they could feel a malicious intelligence that gave you goosebumps in the dark. Unseen, you could TELL it was there, calm and cool- waiting like a predator somewhere ahead of them.
For some reason however... there was something long and hard in Shuniji's tight pants and it wasn't obscene. A can of bakes beans painfully rubbed against his hip. It smelled expired...
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