|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:09 pm
Fila was off exploring new territory, enjoying the thrill of danger, the risk of being caught. She had no way of knowing if this was friendly territory or not, but the chance that it was not seemed a greater possibility. Fila relished the idea of danger, loved the surge of adrenaline it provided. She always felt so alive when she was running for her life. Some would call her crazy, yes, but Fila knew that she merely walked a different path than most. There was nothing wrong with that. After all, it wasn't her fault that the critics couldn't understand her point of view. Nope! If they didn't get it, then too bad for them. Fila wasn't stopping to explain any time soon.
She rushed along, enjoying the feel of the wind racing past her form, the way it pulled at her skin. She wondered if she'd be able to run as fast as the wind someday, if she kept practicing. She could already outfight most anything that moved. Hard experience had taught her well the arts of fighting and hunting, and she thrilled in her independence in the world. She depended on no one and nothing, and that was the way she liked things. She would never be dependent on someone else for anything, not when she was perfectly capable of defending and providing for herself.
She finally slowed her pace when she grew tired, her breath coming in short, heavy pants. She made her way over to the shade of a tree, curling by its base to rest her burning muscles.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:27 pm
 The days held little for her anymore. It was beginning to ache her heart, watching over the tumbly, furry offspring of other lionesses. She couldn't seem to quite quell the deep sadness it brought out of her. How she longed for her prince charming! Someone who would really see her. Oh, she knew it was partly her own fault for being so mousy and quiet. She was as soft as the mists, as quiet, and as easy to brush aside. She simply didn't have the gumption to get herself noticed. While it ached at her, she also couldn't seem to change who she was.
Unfortunately though, the further along things got, the quieter and softer of nature she seemed to become. Not being noticed made her withdraw further into herself, until she felt positively empty and as inconsquential as the wisps of mist she lived within.
So it was that today she had chosen to leave her pride's territory. She had risen early and padded out beyond their sentries, only earning a nod from one in passing as acknowledgement that she existed. But here, out where the ground was open, and the sky a clear and unclouded blue, her spriits rose a bit. While she had no desire to go back to wandering as she had for a time, she had to admit the sun felt wonderful on her grey back.
Thus it was that when she caught the scent of another lioness, she only paused briefly before moving towards the other. The sun's warmth made her bolder, more determined. She wouldn't drift on like a wayward bit of mist, she just wouldn't! Feeling full of resolve, she padded towards the tree, eventually managing to seperate the shape of a lioness from the sere grasses around her. Goodness, she was quite well camoflauged with that coloring! So bold did she feel, Shani actually spoke first, when close enough for the other to hear her soft voice.
"Ah... hello there... miss." Her halting voice sounded nothing like what she'd meant to sound like. Mildly dismayed that even in her own resolve, she failed miserably at being 'bold', she sat back on her haunches rather suddenly, looking forlorn.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 6:55 pm
Fila had seen the grey lioness approach, and lifted up her head, watching her with a slightly wary gaze when she spoke. "My...what has happened to steal your voice from you?" she asked gently, "A lioness' voice should always ring proud..." Fila cut herself off when she saw the lioness' expression. "Hey...it's alright. Whatever happened, I'm sure you're as bold as anyone else when you have to be." Fila, though usually tough as nails, definitely had a soft side to her heart. She couldn't bear to be cruel to such a meek creature, and her heart went out to the soft-spoken lioness.
The grey lioness reminded her of a spirit, so fragile she might be blown away at any second. Fila wondered if she had always been this way. The grey's voice seemed almost rusty from disuse...had no one spoken to her lately? Fila could smell several feline scents on her coat, so she must belong to a pride. Why hadn't they said something to her...or did she choose not to talk to them?
Fila didn't understand. How could this be? Of course, Fila herself knew of solitude. She was a rogue, and so she spent the majority of her time alone. Especially now that she and her sister had fallen out. At first, it had been exhilarating, not having anyone to fuss over. But as time went on, the silence dragged at her, pulling at her spirits. She would have fallen into darkness, but she chose to pursue something outside of herself. She found a purpose, a reason for living, and since that day the dark, oppressive clouds of silence couldn't weigh her down. But she didn't understand how someone in a pride could go unspoken to. Surely someone cared about this lioness...and if they didn't...well, then, Fila would.
Fila decided then and there to befriend this lioness, whether or not she felt like she needed befriending. And whoever it was who had stolen her voice away... They'd better hope they never meet me! Fila thought to herself.
She shrugged off her thoughts, turning her mind towards what had been left unsaid on her end of things. "My name is Fila. What's yours?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:00 pm
Proud? Shani found the concept foreign. What had she to be proud of? Well, there was the pride, she had to admit. They were a wonderful thing, something to be proud of. But her part in it seemed so minimal these days. She heaved a sigh, then gave the other lioness a startled and mildly amused look when she asserted that Shani could be bold if the situation called for it. She pondered that in silence for a moment. Yes, she supposed she could be, perhaps. If she had reason enough to be. She wasn't sure exactly what reason would be enough in her case, but surely it must exist. But how could this other know if this was true or not? She gave the cream female a puzzled look, which resulted, apparently, in introductions. This Shani could do.
"Pleased to meet you," she said in her accustomed soft voice, but this time with no strain of forced bravado behind it. Instead, it was warm and gentle, like a steady soft rain that is welcomed by all it touches. She smiled, a touch shyly but genuinely, then gave her head a dip. "I am Shani, of the Uman--ah...," she still forgot sometimes about which group she was part of now. "Of the Mizuka'nyevu," she finished correctly this time. She glanced over her shoulder, back the way she'd come, surprised to see how far she'd traveled. "Though I'm a bit farther from home than I realized." Her tone was rueful, not fearful. Having wandered so much before, this hardly troubled her being this distance from the pride's territory. Not only that, but this lioness hardly looked likely to attack her.
She looked back at Fila speculatively. No indeed, she looked more likely to be a nice companion for a time at least. After all, had she not responded to something Shani hadn't even expressed aloud? How long had it been since anyone had taken such notice of her feelings? She ventured another smile. "Are you part of a pride?" This question had a bit more of timidity to it than when she'd introduced herself. She disliked hearing it in her own voice, if she focused on it. It seemed it couldn't be helped, though.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:08 pm
It was amazing.
This demure lioness was everything Fila wasn't. Soft-spoken, meek, and gentle...Even when she tried to be nice, Fila still had a few sharp spots. It was what became of someone who had lived a hardscrabble life. It was astounding, the powers of circumstance on an individual's life. It could raise up someone to new heights, or drag someone through the gutter. It was pure circumstance that had dictated the course of Fila's life...and she could only assume that it had influenced this gray lioness as well.
Fila nodded briskly in response to her introduction. "We are well met, Shani of the Mizuka'nyevu," she said, her voice strong and clear. Fila wondered if the name--the one she had almost said--had been a previous title...or even a previous pride. "Have I found a fellow wanderer, then?" Fila asked, her mouth tilted in a wry smile. At the very least, Shani appeared to enjoy a good long walk, which counted as a definite asset.
Fila looked down, her face veiled in shadow. "I imagine I used to be, once," she said, the weight of her unknown past settling around her frame like a shroud. "But I can barely remember it. I was very young when I left, just a few weeks old." She lifted her head, a smile on her face despite the confused half-memories of her cubhood bouncing through her brain. "If I do belong somewhere, they've never come to claim me. So I go wherever the wind takes me. It's a nice life, I suppose, filled with many encounters with others." She didn't regret her life. She had learned many things, and could live independently without much struggle. Although many times she had considered settling down and staying in one place, she had always convinced herself otherwise.
But now there was a lion called Vu, whose cubs needed her. No matter how far she strayed, she would return to them as often as they needed her. She couldn't let cubs go hungry, not even if they belonged to some other lioness. One of the aftereffects of her cubhood alone. No one deserved that kind of life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:49 pm
The grey lioness' ears canted forward just a little in attention. Now it was she who caught something unspoken in the paler lioness' tone. The words revealed much, true, but it was how she said it that pricked Shani's attention. That tone, that feeling, she knew it well. Loneliness. Not belonging. She nodded slightly in understanding at the explination of her wanderings. Was that not why she herself was out here alone?
"Meeting others is nice," she agreed, but chose to continue, being more forward than her usually meek manner allowed. "But having a place to belong, to truly be accepted and loved...," she paused, thoughts on how alienated she'd felt recently in her pride. That was her own issue, one she had no answers for yet. Was it so different from Fila's circumstance? "That can't compare with the company of random strangers," she finished quietly. She smiled sideways, a little shyly but feeling a connection with the oddly opposite female.
"I wander not to meet others, but to find... actually, I'm not sure what I am trying to find." She sat herself down and puzzled over it. Something about Fila set Shani at ease, which was a welcome change from the awkwardness most others instilled in her. She felt free to be herself, rather than feeling acutely that she was somehow not entitlted to act how she wanted to. "To find solace, or maybe peace," she continued thoughtfully, "or space to think." To be myself, she realized, but did not voice this. It was a bit too close to the bone to share. It was a valuable bit of information about herself, though. She tucked it away for later reference.
Instead, she turned things back towards her new compaion. "I suppose then that you've seen many wonders, having travelled so far," she inquired softly, tipping her head and fixing her eyes upon Fila with genuine interest. Hearing about the world at large might help banish her sense of not existing in it. Hearing about the world might help banish the dark thoughts that tended to lurk beneath the surface of her being lately. But truly, she did indeed want to hear about the other's travels. She wasn't inclined to take to the road again herself, but the notion of drifting freely appealled to her nonetheless.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 7:26 pm
It seemed that Fila had, indeed, met a kindred spirit...at least in regard to her travels. It was nice, to realize that even the most different of individuals still could have something in common. So what that Fila was a battle-scarred warrior, or that Shani was a bit soft-spoken. Fila grinned. It looked like she was just a big softie after all.
"I've never had a place like that," Fila mused. "I've only known travel, and the faces of those who drifted out of my life almost as quickly as they came into it." She looked up at Shani, a bit of a smile on her face. "But I do have a family out there. Maybe someday we'll all find each other and settle down someplace together..." She trailed off, her voice silenced by the flood of memories her words brought. It wasn't that long ago that she had left her only sister Amira out in the wilderness. Fila had done it for a good reason, but she still regretted leaving the last family member she had ties with out alone in the middle of nowhere.
"My sister once said that everyone is looking for something, even if they don't know what it is they're looking for. I don't think I'm looking for anything, but...she was right about a lot of others. Almost everyone I meet is searching for something." Fila smiled a gruff sort of smile. "And I'm sure you'll find whatever it is you're looking for. And maybe you've already got it, but you don't realize it." She frowned slightly, "That was my sister's problem. She didn't realize that she already had what she was looking for."
Fila grinned when Shani started talking about wonders. "I...I've seen so many things. Prides who capture their own species as mates, those that make the most glorious music, and those that think they have demons caged within." She shivered at the mention of the last pride. "I can't even compete with their fighters, and believe me, that's saying something." She thought more about what she had seen on her journeys. "Hmm...I've seen great jungles, vast deserts, and tons of grasslands. I've been a lot of places, but...I know there's still a lot more land I haven't explored."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 9:57 am
Shani regarded her new friend thoughtfully as she talked of her family. She recognized the faint twinges that indicated all was not well between her and her sister, as she felt the same about her own family. Things had been so wonderful as a cub... everything being as it should be. But somewhere along the line it had all fallen apart, and now she was in contact with none of them. Yet another bit of self-realization fell into her mind like a drifting feather. Perhaps this was part of why she felt so empty, so lacking in love. She wasn't sure what the answer to that lack was, but she nodded acceptance when Fila asserted that she'd find it eventually, or discover she already had it to begin with. Life tended to flow its own way, changing course at random whenever it chose. She just had to hold on until something happened to wipe away the rent in her heart.
"Perhaps what you are looking for is knowledge. Experiences." Though she was indeed thinking this, she was surprised to find she had spoken it aloud and with such steadiness. Even having spoken unexpectedly, she didn't feel anxious or nervous for having done so. For a fleeting moment, she wished she could cajole this lioness to join the pride, so that she could always be assured of having one friend around who would make her feel like a half grown juv. But quick as it came, she gently shoved the impulse away. As much as she valued the affect Fila had on her, she valued the lioness more. It was clear she wouldn't be happy being tied to a pride full of strangers, even if she could be convinced to stay, which unto itself was likely impossible. No, Shani was simply going to have to accept that this was probably the only time she'd see this friend.
She stifled a heavy sigh of sadness at this thought. Yet another gap in her heart to add to the ache within. But she'd not let this spoil what time they did have. She smiled then, before frowning suddenly in thought. "What is... music?" The word had belatedly struck her as odd, as the idea of musical sound wasn't one she was familiar with. Oh, she probably had heard the wind in the reeds or other sounds that could be seen as musical, but she merely had never thought about them before. The concept itself was foreign to her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:38 am
"Perhaps," Fila agreed as she thought about her life. "I feel like I have missed out on so much of what life has to offer, simply because of the circumstances of my own life." She sighed softly. "It almost feels as if I haven't had a chance to really live. So, maybe...I am searching for experiences, namely the ones I never got to have." Fila had always been the caretaker, always been the one with the responsibility. It had been that way since she was just a cub...ever since their mother died and Kudha was stolen away. Fila had been the one to shoulder the burden of raising both herself and her sister, and so she had been robbed of a normal cubhood. Now that she was on her own, she felt like she had to make up for lost time.
"You've never heard music? But you wouldn't know, unless you'd met the pride. Music is...it's hard to define, but it's a bunch of sounds that are pleasant to the ears. The lions there all hum together, and dance and sing...it's beautiful. I don't know if I can really give it justice with only words, but I don't know how to dance or sing myself." Fila chuckled. "It's not just limited to singing and dancing either. It's found in nature, too. Like...the cicadas at night, or the wind through the grass. There's music everywhere."
Fila rather liked this soft-spoken lioness. For a moment, she wished she could stay with her, but...her future seemed already planned out for the time being. Perhaps one day she would return, or if she couldn't return, she could send someone to be a confidant to Shani. Someone to help her find her voice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 11:46 am
The grey lioness listened attentively and nodded thoughtfully at the musings of the earth-toned lioness. Slowly, she spoke, finding it easier and easier to voice her thoughts around her strange companion. "I think perhaps you and I are not so different after all," she murmured, eyes on the ground where she drew random patterns in the earth with one extended forepad. "You seek what you could not experience before. I seek what I see no means to experience in the future." Was that not true? So soft-spoken, secluded in the Ghosts of the Mists, cut off from the rest of the world, she saw no hope of finding that happy family she so longed for. If she was honest, she would have to admit that she often wandered out beyond the pride's territory like this in hopes of somehow stumbling upon her prince. He certainly hadn't shown up on his own as yet, and she wasn't some fresh young adolescent anymore, after all.
The explination of what music was at first confused her, but the more Fila went on, the more it began to make sense. Granted, it wasn't something she had ever dwelt on, but she had indeed noted the soothing sound of the winds in the grasses, or the serene trickle of a stream, or the merry laugh of a waterfall. But lions humming? Singing? The idea was terribly foreign to her. "I'm sure that must have been a sight to see... and hear," she added with amusement. "Do they live far from here?" It was both a polite question as well as a faintly wistful one, born of a curiousity she rarely got the chance to exhibit. Oh, she wasn't likely to travel there, but still she wondered. "Are they a happy pride?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 7:37 pm
Fila nodded understandingly. "Life has a cruel way of stealing happiness from others. But there is still happiness in the world. Maybe...even though we can't have what our hearts desire, we can make do with something else. I mean, a little happiness is better than none at all, right?" Fila scuffed the earth, looking down at the sparse grass at her paws. "I am happy I met you, for instance, though...though I know we must part ways soon." Meeting this gray lioness might seem a trifle friendship to others, but to Fila, who had never had a real friend before...these moments were precious. She just wished she could do something to help Shani find her happiness.
"The musical pride? Oh, yes. It was strange...but wonderful at the same time. They are...very different from what you would expect," Fila admitted softly. "They live a ways from here...many days travel. And...they seem happy, though I'm not sure all of them are. I met a little misfit who didn't seem to belong. I believe he has the Sight, but I'm not sure. Perhaps that was why he was distanced from the others."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:51 am
Shani managed an only slightly pained smile at the other lioness' musings. She was right of course. She needed to find a way to see smaller happinesses in life, ones that noone could take away from her. This, for example! Who would have thought she'd have found such an unexpected friend! Impulsively, particularly for such a shy lioness, Shani stepped forward to give the other female a quick cheekrub of affection, a very soft purr vibrating her throat.
"I am glad I met you, Fila," she said softly. "You show me both what I have not been able to experience, as well as what I already have." Her smile was less pained and more wistful this time. "You are probably my first real friend since cubhood," she admitted quietly, but did not avert her gaze. "I wish I could tell you how much that means to me."
This was definitely something she would carry with her, held close to her heart to brighten dreary days and lift her spirits when they grew grey and cold. Somewhere, out in the wild world, she would always have a true friend.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:05 pm
"You know what?" Fila said with a smile as she returned the nuzzle, "I think you already have." Fila sighed, knowing that her time with Shani was already over. "And you are mine. One such as I doesn't really gain many friends. I'm glad to have met you as well. Perhaps someday we will meet again." Fila turned to leave, her heart heavy as her paws carried her away from her new friend. She did look back once, a sad smile on her face. "Goodbye, Shani of the Mizuka'nyevu. Live well, my friend...and may fate be kind to us both." As she began to move again, Fila tried very hard not to think about how much she would miss the quiet companionship she had enjoyed. Maybe they would meet again someday, if Fila ever managed to travel again after she arrived at the Ukuucha'Wafalme.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
