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Sparky_the3rd
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Invisible Wolf

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:46 pm


A girl said she wanted a story that was from the ghost point of view..so I wrote this. I think I caught all of the typos...I tried to. Tell me if you like it.

Just great another family, this was expected. I did of course kill the last family in this house. What were there names? The Blackmons, I believe. No matter I killed them; but just like every other time some other family moves into my house.
"Sam did you bring that toy box in?"
Humans make me so angry, just because I dead doesn't mean I don't still live here. Just because I'm dead and I'm a ghost doesn't mean anything. I can still walk, I can still feel, you don't see me walking around wearing a sheet. A woman with long black hair walks in carrying a box in her arms.
"Here it is Charlie."
"I'm so happy we finally found a house to live in."
"Yes I know, and such a cheap price."
I walk over to the woman, named Sam; by what the man just said, and punch her in the back of the head. She stumbles backwards and holds her head, the man; her husband, catches her before she hits the floor. That's what she gets for calling my house cheap. I built it with my own two hands, my wife won't be happy about this. New humans; I begin my walk up stairs. I can still here there voices.
"Sam are you alright?"
"I'm fine it just felt like I was just punched in the head."
"You should sit down. I'll get the rest of the boxes."
"When is your mother bringing Justin here?"
"Sunday."
There voices are distant now. I walk through the door; I still miss not being able to open them.
"Raven?"
I search around the room for my wife. It's sad not even a ghost can find ghost. You'd think when you die you'd get some kind of powers, but no I get to watch as idiot humans move into my house and change it willingly.
"Raven where are you? I have bad news."
"What is it?"
I jump up and grab my chest; I'm sure if I wasn't already dead that would've scared me to death.
"Raven my love, new humans are here."
She frowns at me. I know that look, it screams; "Lucas get them out of our house now." I wrap my arms around her and kiss her on the forehead.
"I promise they won't be here for long."
"That's what you said about the last humans and it took you a year."
"I'll start tomorrow."
"Why not tonight?"
I pick up her and spin her around. It's strange how even in death we're still in love. This time I won't take so long I'll get them out of our house as soon as I can. It seems like my only goal in death is to make my wife happy.
"Why do they keep selling our house anyway Lucas?"
"I don't know, you'd figure after people have died in it they wouldn't sell it, or humans wouldn't buy it."
"I'm sad now Lucas."
"What's wrong, Raven?"
"Lucas it's not fair I want my house back now!"
"Then I won't wait until night fall, I'll start now."
I hug her tight then walk back down stairs. I mean really what does a guy have to do to keep humans out of his house? Yell beetle-juice three times? Oh yea, that's really going to work.
"That's everything, Sam."
"Great, Charlie."
She wraps her arms around him and kisses him full on the lips. I'll make sure he dies first.
"Lets go break in the bed, Sam."
"The bed isn't even set up yet."
"I know, but I put the mattress on the floor. So lets go break in the floor."
"Alright."
She giggles, he picks her up and carries her towards the bedroom. Perfect actually, the best way to kill a person in my old bedroom. I walk through the walls in a rush to get to the bedroom before they do; I close the window to the room, then walk outside and get a can of gasoline. They walk in and plop down on the mattress and start to go at it. I need to hurry, there are some things I don't want to see. I go in the kitchen and get a can of bug spray and put it in the microwave. I plug up the microwave in front of the bedroom door and turn it on high.
"It's really hot in here, open the door Charlie."
It's time. The bedroom door opens and just as expect the microwave explodes setting the woman's husband a blaze. I pour more gasoline on him so he blazes more. The woman, Sam, is scream about her husband and the room so much she doesn't notice the floating can. I pour gas on her and watch as she's covered in flames. They both go up in a blaze; both screaming in the way any human would if they were burning alive.
"Don't burn our house down Lucas."
"I know how to put the fire out Raven."
"What shall we do the past the time Lucas?"
"Go up stairs and wait then put there souls in the jar with the other humans."
I take Raven's hand and walk up stairs, as we walk I hear the screams dying. They'll be dead in only a few minutes. How stupid they were for buying this house.
"They have a son."
"Was he down stairs Lucas?"
"No he wasn't. Which means this house is his now."
"How old do you think the boy is Lucas?"
"He's a child I know that. I saw a box of toys, we'll have to wait a few years before we can kill him."
"I know, the soul of a child won't help us."
"How many more tainted human soul's do we need until we are human again?"
"Only one more after those two Lucas."
"Then my dear Raven, in a few years when Justin moves into this house his soul will be ours."

.....To be continued....
PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:21 pm


Creepy 3nodding Pretty good for straight dialog, but you are still missing a few commas in the beginning that should help your sentence flow, along with some excess 'other' in the second line, and, well, etc....Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for grammar...but you do have good content. blaugh

Ghisteslwchlohm


Sparky_the3rd
Vice Captain

Invisible Wolf

8,875 Points
  • Invisibility 100
  • Demonic Associate 100
  • The Wolf Within 100
PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:03 pm


I know I have erros..-_-" I haven't fixed it just yet..=3 happy you like it.
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