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 Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 4:31 pm
My dad wants me to be like other girls with a weave and everthing but when I get dressed for school he tells me (in other words) that I dress like a tramp or a slut. He tells me he doesnt want me looking like the other girls at my school but my mother and everyone i talk to about my dad say that I look fine and my shirts arent too short. Am I right in thinking my dad is a hypocritical a*****e?
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:19 pm
[Hypocritical, maybe. An a*****e, maybe not so much. He's a father. It's in his Fatherhood Handbook that he's supposed to want to "protect" his daughter from guys that remind him of how he was/how his peers were when he was your age. 3nodding He wants you to take pride in the way you look, and he tries to give you examples by mentioning other girls your age, but he doesn't want you to go too far...either that, or he feels threatened "for" you when you actually act on his suggestions. xp
Personally, I would just work around it. As long as you "live under his roof" you are going to have to adhere to his and your mom's rules. You know them better than I do. So you know how to work it; what you can "get away with" and what you feel comfortable doing/wearing.
After all, it's true they were "your age once;" but they were never YOU. Make your own choices...just use their rules as guidelines. biggrin ]
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 4:36 pm
I really appreciate your advice but I dont wear weaves and ive never acted on any of his ridiculous suggestions
and I called him an a** because if he ever doesnt like what I'm wearing to school then he'll scream and curse in front of the front door usually when its wide open
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:36 pm
Maybe he just wants you to model what he thinks a girl should look like. Lots of dads aren't up on today's fashions or whatever. And, as a mom mehself, lots of girls today really do look too grown for their ages, and some of them really do look like tramps. I don't mean you, since I've never seen you.
I think he should express himself better, though, instead of using those words to his daughter. That's harmful. Maybe you two would do well on a trip to the mall (when your friends aren't around, because, well, eww...), so he can take a look at what's really out there, and you guys can pick out a few outfits that you both can live with.
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Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 11:34 am
I must be lucky, then. My dad doesn't care how I look as long as my grades are good.
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Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 5:14 pm
Passion_Dragon [Hypocritical, maybe. An a*****e, maybe not so much. He's a father. It's in his Fatherhood Handbook that he's supposed to want to "protect" his daughter from guys that remind him of how he was/how his peers were when he was your age. 3nodding He wants you to take pride in the way you look, and he tries to give you examples by mentioning other girls your age, but he doesn't want you to go too far...either that, or he feels threatened "for" you when you actually act on his suggestions. xp
Personally, I would just work around it. As long as you "live under his roof" you are going to have to adhere to his and your mom's rules. You know them better than I do. So you know how to work it; what you can "get away with" and what you feel comfortable doing/wearing.]
xd You hit it right on the money. Lol... I have a dad... and 2 brothers. Older brothers. That feel the need to abuse every dude they see looking, talking, or thinking about me. When I go out to the teen clubs, sometimes I wear skirts (with spandex underneath). If I pass "the inspection", which I rarely do when all three of them are home, I go free.
One time my dad REFUSED to take me to this party, cause I had a V neck shirt on. I wear the shirt to school and he doesnt say anything. rolleyes That time my mom intervined though, and I was allowed to go. Being the only girl and the youngest.... well you can come to your own conclusion.
While it may annoy the hell out of you --
His intentions are good. He does it out of love. You are lucky he cares, cause some fathers don't... some aren't even there. He doesn't want his "little" girl to experience what half the tramps at school do.
BTW; What bothers him about your hair?
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 5:07 pm
[Disruptive: I totally feel you about being the only girl~! It was rough growing up. When I was younger, I forced my brothers (so funny xd ) to babysit my dolls and carry the dolls' belongings, but when I got older, they wanted to do "boy stuff," and tried to leave me out (those were the only times they actually teamed up xp Other times, my older brother and I ganged up on my younger brother). So I started acting like a tomboy (yay rolleyes ). When I wanted to start acting girly (makeup, skirts, boyfriends), it was highly frowned upon. BUT, my parents still encouraged my brothers to seek girlfriends, etc. evil SO wrong. Why are female children and male children treated differently?? mad ]
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 6:28 pm
Passion_Dragon [Disruptive: I totally feel you about being the only girl~! It was rough growing up. When I was younger, I forced my brothers (so funny xd ) to babysit my dolls and carry the dolls' belongings, but when I got older, they wanted to do "boy stuff," and tried to leave me out (those were the only times they actually teamed up xp Other times, my older brother and I ganged up on my younger brother). So I started acting like a tomboy (yay rolleyes ). When I wanted to start acting girly (makeup, skirts, boyfriends), it was highly frowned upon. BUT, my parents still encouraged my brothers to seek girlfriends, etc. evil SO wrong. Why are female children and male children treated differently?? mad ] that's a double standard that's been out there forever, and i don't think it's going away any time soon. my ex-h is kind of a jerk in the same way. he laughs and acts all proud when my son is doing wrong, like fighting, or being disrespectful "oh, you don't understand, he's becoming a man" and whatever, but when my daughter is just offhandedly talking about a boy in her class she thinks is cute, he's all wild and whatnot...
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Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 8:49 pm
I have 3 brothers, 2 older and 1 younger
1 brother is in a college very close by, 1 brother is a year older than me in school, and the other is in 2nd grade.
I am the only girl and I have No idea what he doesnt like about my hair. He also likes to complain about my weight.
I joined the cross country running team this year and it ended a few weeks ago. We had a banquet where i recieved a pin and a certificate when he came to pick me up he put the pin on his tie.(in his tie?) I could have been annoyed because I wanted to wear it but I can c how proud he is of me even when he is unreasonable
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 4:33 am
reflectiveD I have 3 brothers, 2 older and 1 younger 1 brother is in a college very close by, 1 brother is a year older than me in school, and the other is in 2nd grade. I am the only girl and I have No idea what he doesnt like about my hair. He also likes to complain about my weight. I joined the cross country running team this year and it ended a few weeks ago. We had a banquet where i recieved a pin and a certificate when he came to pick me up he put the pin on his tie.(in his tie?) I could have been annoyed because I wanted to wear it but I can c how proud he is of me even when he is unreasonable [Whoa, I also have 3 brothers. The Goober (aka, the youngest), is 10 1/2 years my junior, so when I was doing most of my growing up, he wasn't there. The other 2 are around my age. 3nodding
Aw... sad That's unfair that he complains about your weight...sometimes though it may just be that he really does love you and he honestly cares. I know Mom has talked to the Goober about his weight, but when it's coming from a parent, it can seem like constant nagging...
It's nice to hear that you can tell he's proud of you. 3nodding ]
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 4:38 am
Kaenai Passion_Dragon [Disruptive: I totally feel you about being the only girl~! It was rough growing up. When I was younger, I forced my brothers (so funny xd ) to babysit my dolls and carry the dolls' belongings, but when I got older, they wanted to do "boy stuff," and tried to leave me out (those were the only times they actually teamed up xp Other times, my older brother and I ganged up on my younger brother). So I started acting like a tomboy (yay rolleyes ). When I wanted to start acting girly (makeup, skirts, boyfriends), it was highly frowned upon. BUT, my parents still encouraged my brothers to seek girlfriends, etc. evil SO wrong. Why are female children and male children treated differently?? mad ] that's a double standard that's been out there forever, and i don't think it's going away any time soon. my ex-h is kind of a jerk in the same way. he laughs and acts all proud when my son is doing wrong, like fighting, or being disrespectful "oh, you don't understand, he's becoming a man" and whatever, but when my daughter is just offhandedly talking about a boy in her class she thinks is cute, he's all wild and whatnot... [This and other double standards and child-rearing differences is what makes me afraid to "settle down." I mean...I want any child or any children I have or adopt to be able to enjoy the luxury of having both parents around. But I'm not sure if I can deal with it. He comes from one background and was raised one way, and I another background and raised a different way. Both of us want for our kids what we didn't have, whether it's because it wasn't finacially possible, or because our parents wouldn't have allowed it. What happens when those ideas clash?? And how hard do we try to keep our family together if it seems like it's "not working?" Couples argue, but even if we don't get along and have issues, can we still make sure our kids are the most important thing of all?? neutral ]
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 5:15 am
reflectiveD I have 3 brothers, 2 older and 1 younger 1 brother is in a college very close by, 1 brother is a year older than me in school, and the other is in 2nd grade. I am the only girl and I have No idea what he doesnt like about my hair. He also likes to complain about my weight. I joined the cross country running team this year and it ended a few weeks ago. We had a banquet where i recieved a pin and a certificate when he came to pick me up he put the pin on his tie.(in his tie?) I could have been annoyed because I wanted to wear it but I can c how proud he is of me even when he is unreasonable honestly, it sounds to me like he just doesn't know how to relate to a girl. that is, he doesn't know how to relate to a daughter. i'm forced to wonder if he had any close female friends (who weren't tomboys or something, or who weren't flirting with him) as he was growing up. it doesn't seem like it. but seriously, if he didn't love you or care, he wouldn't say anything, and he damn sure wouldn't put the pin on his tie (you had it right the first time)! he sounds great, he just doesn't seem to know how to deal with you conversationally. he'll figure it out, and in the meantime, be patient with him. i know someone just like him (he's a dad, too), now that i think of it, and i'm pretty sure it's not personal.
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Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 8:12 pm
Passion_Dragon [Disruptive: I totally feel you about being the only girl~! It was rough growing up. When I was younger, I forced my brothers (so funny xd ) to babysit my dolls and carry the dolls' belongings, but when I got older, they wanted to do "boy stuff," and tried to leave me out (those were the only times they actually teamed up xp Other times, my older brother and I ganged up on my younger brother). So I started acting like a tomboy (yay rolleyes ). When I wanted to start acting girly (makeup, skirts, boyfriends), it was highly frowned upon. BUT, my parents still encouraged my brothers to seek girlfriends, etc. evil SO wrong. Why are female children and male children treated differently?? mad ] my older sister did similer things with other things than dolls but I don't think there was any froning on of her acting girly then again my parents when she was 14 and whanted to go to this cristian summercamp packed a box of condoms for her
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Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 3:26 pm
Gah!!
my dad is GRRR....INFURIATING. Apperently Im not allowed to go to anyone of my friends homes. I can go to the movies "maybe". His reasoning..."I don't trust anyone. I might have (?) by letting you go out before." I live in a place that is predominantly PHILIPINO. What isnt safe about that? Im not allowed to go to a female friends house either. Its ridiculous. All we do is walk around and buy candy and visit each others houses.
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