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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:27 pm
 Alright guys, this is something I've been slowly working on, and thought I'd share it in order to see your opinions and receive feedback.
Do be warned, when I'm not roleplaying, I use a different way for writing dialogues/monologues. It's the way I was taught to write back in Lithuania, and I intend of keeping that. Don't like it? Tough luck.
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:30 pm
Prologue The sound of lonely footsteps, echoed through the dead hallways. No matter where you turn, only death and destruction crosses one’s sight in these endless hallways. That is, until she appeared. Grinning victoriously. Obviously proud of what she did. Her tail flicking right at her side, as if the one of a cat’s who had just caught its prey. - Why are you still here? - A soft voice rang towards the succubus. She didn’t answer. Just sat there with her arrogant grin, her tail whipping through the air swiftly. The demon knew, that she was slowly working the one’s who dare speak to her emotions. Stirring them, raising anger, sadness, hatred. - Answer me! – The talker now commanded. Frustration in her voice, only pleasing the demon’s ears. A cackle escaped the tailed one’s lips, before she stood up and approached her interrogator. Arrogantly staring into her eyes for a moment. A devious smirk decorating her face. - You already know, blue one. You always did. – She spoke in a seductive, yet spine-chilling voice, as her fingers traced along a silver chain that the other female had around her neck. The nameless female sunk one of her fangs into her bottom lip. She wanted to destroy the succubus, just like she destroyed this house. But something kept her from doing so. What could possibly be stronger than her hatred for this b***h? Disappointed, she just clenched her fists, pressing them firmly against her sides. Flames of hatred dancing in her deep azure eyes. The she-demon cackled once again. Making a swift turn on her left heel so that the other female would face her back, where two bat-like wings sprouted. She had done her job, there was nothing else she needed from the blue-eyed girl, so she just walked towards the only item that was still intact – the mirror. Not even glancing at her toy one last time, the succubus disappeared into the cold glass as if it were water. Now alone, the blue one starred at the empty space in front of her. Her eyes focused on the mirror for a moment, that seemed to go on forever. Her breathing increasing, as she clenched her fists harder, making the knuckles turn paler. Her knees started shaking and she soon fell to the ground. A loud roar escaped her throat as she tossed her head back, now staring at the ceiling as warm tears ran down her soft cheeks. Moments passed, as she just sat there staring into nowhere. A cold night breeze ran through the hallway, letting everything feel its cold touch. A breeze that could not be ignored. It was unusual in this place, even if all the windows were broken and open to anyone who dared cross them. The girl shivered, being forced to take a look around. And not without reason. Just moments before, the space in front of her was as empty as the rest of the place. But now, what appeared to be a human male, stood in front of her, offering a hand. The girl looked up at the man. Her eyes instantly met the entrancing green that were his. She recognized them. There was only one person she knew that had eyes like that. - Corbin? – The girl asked in disbelief and reached for the hand that was offered to her. Gripping it tightly, standing back up again, while staring at the figure in front of her the whole time. The green eyed man smiled softly, still holding the girl’s hand, rubbing his thumb on it lightly as if a lover. - Ssyl… - He whispered softly, tugging the girl closer so that he could wrap his arms over her.- My Ssylsin, - he whispered again with a close of his eyes as he hugged the one he called Ssyl. A faint blush covered the girl’s cheeks. She didn’t have the strength to hug the man back. She couldn’t. The Corbin she knew, disappeared long ago. How could he just be here, hugging her so lovingly, so tenderly, making her forget everything else in the world just like before? But slowly, the man’s hug worked its magic. Still dwelling, the girl put her arms around the green eyed man’s shoulders. His body was cold, perhaps even colder than this night itself, but that didn’t bother her. She closed her eyes, smiling ever so broadly as she leaned into his body. - Corbin… I can’t believe it’s you. It must be a trick, an illusion. Something that b***h made to torture me more. You were taken away from me those years ago. It can’t…you can’t… - She whimpered. Her voice shaky, as tears started to roll down her warm cheeks again. Corbin let her go for a moment, only to take Ssylsin gently by her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. That very same smile upon his lips. - My dear, sweet Ssylsin, - he said in a caring tone. - I am no illusion, nor a trick. Nor was I sent by the one who you called “b***h”. I came here by myself. I came here for you. The girl sniffled, but at least she wasn’t crying anymore. Her fingers wandering off Corbin’s shoulders and into his long, raven black hair that she loved so much. That he always kept tied in a ponytail, even now. This made Ssyl smile. - There. Much better. You know I can’t stand to see you cry, - Corbin spoke again. – Now, to ease things for you. I’ll tell you why I’m here, - his voice lowered a bit, and his eyes darkened. – I have been looking after you for a while. And I see, that you are still torn between the past and your current self, - he let out a short sigh before continuing. – Ricoxala Ssylsin Aglo, you of all people, should know balance. The universal law, order and chaos. And it hurts me so much to see you like this. Ssylsin took in a long, deep breath. It was so long since she heard her full real name. Ricoxala Ssylsin Aglo. That’s who she was, not Hsine, not Deirdra, nor anyone else. She grasped Corbin’s hair tighter, looking him straight in the eyes, waiting for him to continue. Waiting to learn more about her past, and current self...
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:33 pm
Chapter I - Corbin…! Aglo jumped from her sleep as soon as the name freed itself from her throat. The blue skinned female looked around the lonely bedroom she was in, as she clutched onto her bed sheets in disbelief, that the vision she just saw, was just another dream. She let out a long, sad sigh, lying her head onto her knees. - I wish these dreams would stop haunting me, - The horned girl spoke to herself, while something moved under the sheets she was holding onto. For someone, who didn’t know what Aglo really looked like, they would have thought that there is a snake, or any other long and slender creature under there. But it wasn’t a snake, nor any other creature. Merely a tail. The same shade of blue like Aglo’s skin. Even the markings matched the ones that were on the rest of her body. The tail, wrapped itself over Aglo’s waist, as she sighed again. - So many years have passed, and yet…the visions still won’t leave me be. Not even after I killed her, - Aglo tugged on her bed sheets, absent minded sinking one of her fangs into her bottom lip. Clearly, frustration and sadness stirring in her mind. It was still dusk outside, the very first rays of light slowly breaking through the night’s darkness and fog, leaving the cold morning dew behind them. Aglo stared through her window for a while, letting herself calm down after the dream. Slowly, she let go of her bed sheets and ran one of her hands through her soft, dark blue hair, then leaned into her hand. - Why does my past still haunt me? – She spoke silently to herself as she gazed into nowhere. – I thought, that after I’d get rid of that succubae, it would all end. She sighed deeply, sadly looking over the horizon through her window once more, before tossing the bed sheets to the side and getting out of bed. Aglo’s feet softly landed on the cold wooden floor, making her wince slightly. The early morning shadows gently cloaked her naked body as she walked to her wardrobe to get her into her white silk robe. She didn’t mind the cold, in fact, she enjoyed it quite a bit, but this morning she didn’t feel like being nude, like she usually was, especially since she was planning on going out for a walk, while the plants were still covered in dew. After getting dressed, even if it was so humble, the night-skinned maiden stepped out of her lonely bedroom, and walked down the stairs, straight for the main entrance. Aglo lived alone, in an exact replica of her old master’s mansion, which she has been working on for decades, and still wasn’t finished. This kind of project required not only large funds, but unspeakable amounts of her own power as well, since the mansion itself wasn’t completely real, but only a powerful illusion. One so great, that it in fact didn’t differ from an actual building, and even had many improvements. Aglo decided to keep her home hidden from the rest of the world, by building it in the shadow realm. This way, even the most powerful would have trouble getting into it, and she could access it easily from the real world whenever needed. This, was one of her greatest achievements. Perhaps even the greatest. Even if the house made her sad quite often, reminding her of the best days of her life, while she was still but a maeri, learning the ways of magic and the world itself – she still loved her home and was really proud of it. Aglo pulled the heavy wooden doors towards her, opening them with a light creak. The sun rays had filled the sky with their numbers a bit more since the last time she looked at it, and the fog was slowly clearing up. The succubus cocked her head slightly to the side and gazed at the view in front of her. The forest completely covered in mist, as if refusing to get ready for a new day. Tall and ancient trees surrounding the mansion completely, keeping any intruders as far as possible as well as any light. The only clear path for both – the living and the light, was the one to the river. Aglo’s heart filled with warmth from the sight in front of her, making a soft smile appear on her face, blowing all of her nightmares and worries away, even if it was just for a while. The river. That is where she was heading to. She stepped onto the soft, cold grass, leaving the door open behind her. Tiny shivers ran over her back, only making her smile a bit more. She let the white silk robe slip all the way down her back to where her tail sprouted, yet still keeping the rest of her body wrapped in it. A moment later, thick and heavy fog formed behind her back, forming into six shapes, all similar to one another. Aglo gasped shortly, when a cold, sharp sensation clicked in six spots near her spine. She took a quick glance behind her, only to see three pairs of dark as the night itself, bat-like wings attached to her back. The she-demon flicked her tail joyfully behind her, almost like a cat. Now she was complete again. The small bits of sunlight that actually managed to get through the trees, danced on the river’s surface when Aglo finally reached her destination. The water was so clear here, you could see each and every pebble on the sandy bottom. The waters were filled with river fish as well, that shimmered whenever a lonely sunray managed to hit them. The mistress of this forest closed her deep azure eyes and took in a deep breath, filling her lungs with cold, refreshing morning air, shoving whatever worries were left in her away. Her wings flexed out in their full size, while she was refreshing her mind and body, covering at least five meters wide behind her. Slowly, Aglo let her eyes open. Now refreshed and relaxed, she sat down on one of the larger rocks in the water, hugging her right leg over the knee, whilst the left one lightly touched the cold water. It was quiet. The forest was still asleep, even the earliest of the creatures kept silent. Only the playful breeze and river sang in a perfect harmony. Aglo’s mind soon wandered off somewhere else. She couldn’t help, but remember her dream again. Or more importantly – Corbin. Why did she keep dreaming him? And why whenever he was about to say something important to her, she’d always wake up? This. This is what wouldn’t leave her in peace. She had to know. But how? Corbin was dead for many years now. Or so she thought, since nor she, nor anyone else ever heard from him even before her transformation. Could it be, that he was still alive somewhere, trying to reach her through her dreams? No! Aglo shook her head. That’s impossible. Corbin was human. A powerful one, but still human, there’s no way he could’ve lived this long. Could he...? A fish splashed in the water, snapping Aglo back to reality. She let out a long sigh and dipped both her feet into the water, kicking it lightly and watching the drops shine for a short moment before disappearing out of sight and leaving only but water circles behind. The silk robe she was wearing, was barely covering her at this point. Only her most private parts were still hidden under the smooth white fabric. The maeri leaned back on her arms, and tossed her head back, staring at the sky, as she began talking to herself. - I suppose it is unavoidable, - She said quietly while looking at a particular cloud that had caught her interest. - Time for me to head back to the mortal realm and find the means behind these dreams.
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:35 pm
 And that's all you're getting now. Opinions~~~
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:27 am
 Feels nice to be ignored =.=
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:51 am
-Pets- I read it~
Is vury nice. But I was confused as to whether Aglo and Ssylsin were the same person?
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 9:15 am
 Yes they are. Ssyl is Aglo's real name. Well full name "Ricoxala Ssylsin Aglo", which she had pretty much forgotten after her transformation, and used fake names whenever she had to introduce herself.
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 10:35 am
I wish I could be in the forest where Aglo is. The setting sounds beautiful.
Anyway, what is a maeri?
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:00 am
 Aglo is a maeri. Or should I say was. It's a race I've created years ago. To spare the details, most of them look like Aglo, except without wings and a tail. They live on these isles called Hsi'Calus Sorghai, or "Twilight isles" . The further you go into the isles, the darker it is. They're night dwellers. The islands don't see sunlight, except perhaps the very shores, yet they still remain dusky.
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:06 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:08 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:15 am
*grins wickedly*
The writing is kinda odd, but like you said, it's the way you were taught in your country.
I enjoyed it nonetheless. biggrin
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:34 am
 I could write with quatation marks, but I don't want to. I like my dashes and commas, tyvm. Anyways. Any tips on what could be cahnged/fixed/added?
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:40 am
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:40 am
Mmmmmm......................more detail....
Other than that.....you're good....
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