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 Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 8:24 am
Usually I ask Nikolita her opinion beforehand, while asking where a thread should go, but I am just guessing that this fits in here.
Okay... I know I make a lot of threads, I know that some people may be sick of hearing me.
This year... heh, this year... This year started out pretty generic. normal stuff with my family, nothing to write home about. then... March 30th my Mother had an accident that eventually left her in a coma, 15 days later, she passed away. Then 2 months after that, my Grandmother succumbed to her leukemia after she battled it for nearly 13 years. The closest friend I ever had was raped and impregnated (luckily the baby is healthy) While I did meet my first girlfriend, the happiness was short lived with her mother cutting her net, then her moving for university, after 18 days of appreciating each other, and We have yet to talk since then which is killing me. my friend of 6 years, the only other girl I asked out, rejected me numerous times, and started acting like a completely selfish and jealous bit.... yeah. Now look where we are... the supposed happiest time of the year Christmas is rapidly approaching... and look at me... I am depressed at essentially my entire family apart from me and my father being taken away, making December 25th a generic Friday... I have been crying over the slightest things... and losing my temper and hitting myself or a wall or anything that isn't somebody else like a completely useless, lunatic. My friends have for the most part aggravated my nerves, and there are so many things I would love to say to them, but don't want to lose any more bloody friends... I can't find any motivation to do anything right now to do any of my projects, or even find a damned job... nothing is fun right now, I am only doing things to make the damned days go by... I haven't even heard my Girlfriends voice, and a bunch of the people who used to call me their friends, keep planting the idea that the little couple of Me and her, is only some kind of sick and cruel joke... I have been down before.... I once tried to kill my self, and I have been completely shot before... but honestly this is the absolute darkest place I think I have ever been in.
I apologise for that wall of text, but I just wrote this on the spot, and to any wondering why this thread exist? well I needed to get this all off of my chest. I needed to tell this all to people I trust will be unbiased, and unlike my friends, I need to know somebody will take me seriously without changing the subject, joking or trying to make me feel better in a very unsuccessful way. There are few people I trust will be more serious than Nikolita, Lorien and the many other nice, and just helpful people in this guild.
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Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 9:37 am
2009.... I lost my grandfather, my lover, my aunt, and my dearest friend to that infernal being named 'God'
2009.... I rescued two friends- a puppy and a cat, yet still I sought to seek something to fill the void...
2009.... My marine uncle and I sought eachother's company and drowned ourselves in drinks and acts we will always regret
2009.... Hey, at least Avatar came out...
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Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 10:03 am
I am sorry for your losses. You have had a rough year. As for your girlfriend, sure, it's possible she is not as serious about it as you are. It's possible that she isn't who she says she is. But I don't know for sure and neither does anyone else! So don't let other people tell you how it is when they don't know either. Maybe you two will be able to talk on the phone or use webcams before long. But even if it doesn't work out, you can get through it and you can meet someone else. Never give up on life. No matter what happens, we never run out of opportunities. A lot of people get down at this time of year. Sure, holidays are meant to be fun, but they also put a lot of pressure on people. They make it even harder on the people who are struggling as it is. And they're a pretty nasty reminder to the people who are alone. There are a lot of people who need help at this time of year. Maybe volunteer work would help you and help other people. There is a place near me called Hope for Bereaved. They offer free counseling to people who have lost a loved one. There is one on one counseling and there are support groups. I've volunteered there a few times. I've stuffed envelopes for them, done gift wrapping at the mall to collect donations, and done their Phoneathon for donations. There might be a similar organization near you where you could volunteer. Showing up to the support groups to lend an ear and share your story can be helpful too. If there is not something similar in your area, you might be able to start your own support group. Hope started in 1978 with one woman who lost her daughter in a care accident. Or you could look into other places to volunteer, maybe soup kitchens or a hospital. A lot of places like that also take donations of old books, toys, or clothes. You can also use www.goodsearch.com and www.care2.com/click-to-donate/ to donate without spending any money. And you can read and share inspirational "helping others" stories at www.helpothers.org/ All of that can make you feel good and help out a lot of other people at the same time.
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:02 pm
LorienLlewellyn I am sorry for your losses. You have had a rough year. As for your girlfriend, sure, it's possible she is not as serious about it as you are. It's possible that she isn't who she says she is. But I don't know for sure and neither does anyone else! So don't let other people tell you how it is when they don't know either. Maybe you two will be able to talk on the phone or use webcams before long. But even if it doesn't work out, you can get through it and you can meet someone else. Never give up on life. No matter what happens, we never run out of opportunities. A lot of people get down at this time of year. Sure, holidays are meant to be fun, but they also put a lot of pressure on people. They make it even harder on the people who are struggling as it is. And they're a pretty nasty reminder to the people who are alone. There are a lot of people who need help at this time of year. Maybe volunteer work would help you and help other people. There is a place near me called Hope for Bereaved. They offer free counseling to people who have lost a loved one. There is one on one counseling and there are support groups. I've volunteered there a few times. I've stuffed envelopes for them, done gift wrapping at the mall to collect donations, and done their Phoneathon for donations. There might be a similar organization near you where you could volunteer. Showing up to the support groups to lend an ear and share your story can be helpful too. If there is not something similar in your area, you might be able to start your own support group. Hope started in 1978 with one woman who lost her daughter in a care accident. Or you could look into other places to volunteer, maybe soup kitchens or a hospital. A lot of places like that also take donations of old books, toys, or clothes. You can also use www.goodsearch.com and www.care2.com/click-to-donate/ to donate without spending any money. And you can read and share inspirational "helping others" stories at www.helpothers.org/ All of that can make you feel good and help out a lot of other people at the same time. I do volunteer at the local Library and Boys and girls club, weekly, though since it is the holiday season, it has been a tad up for the latter.
As for the stuff behind Jessica... well people are just prying at it, because a lot of the people who have are just claiming she is non existent, or playing me essentially to get back at me telling a former mutual friend to (in the most polite way possible) get away from me., I know that they have no bearing, but some toying with me when I am very easily played when down, may not mean much, but it does get a little tiring, and REALLY aggravating
Thanks though Lorien, and if all things do go right, we should have a webcam skype call on Christmas eve, so you have no idea how much that point you brought up lit me up =D
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:54 pm
Good for you with the volunteering. And good to hear you'll have a special cam call soon!
Don't let people get you down about the relationship. A lot of people still think internet dating is weird. They assume that everyone online is an old man looking for little boys or something. But almost everyone is online in some form now, so it makes sense that more and more people are meeting up online. I originally met my partner online a few years ago, and we have now been living together for over three years. And just think, in the beginning some people probably would have tried to tell me that he didn't exist either or that he must be a creep. xp
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:38 pm
That library has been there since I was a kid, and I remember how fun it was having a legitimate book selection, some volunteer readings and whatnot, so I just do as I feel is helpful. For the B&G club, I took much of my high school course there in a 5-12 person program (dealing with my fear of crowds and general anxiety)
I didn't know that about your current situation... Glad to know it can work out so well, really gives me hopes for my relationship. Though yeah, people are really hesitant, and those who are, are insanely verbal about it sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:44 pm
It seems like everyone has had a bad year. This is one of the worst for me. It started off kind of not too great because for some reason last year my boyfriend wasn't able to visit me for Christmas and New Years. I can't even remember why that was now. Then in May my grandfather got sick and he died in June. In September my friend's dad died. About a month before that, his cat died. Then like a month after that, his dog was stolen. My other grandfather got sick around November or so and has been in and out of the hospital since. The holidays this year have been especially ******** up. Originally we were supposed to go visit my aunt in Kentucky. It's a long drive because I live in Florida. But I really wanted to spend Christmas at her house. My boyfriend was supposed to fly to Florida from New Jersey where he lives, then go with us to Kentucky and spend Christmas there. But these people who are friends with my other aunt and uncle planned a stupid wedding on New Years Day. I think you have to be incredibly selfish to put something like your wedding on a holiday. People have traditions, plans, traveling, etc that they do during these times, and making people just give all that up for your own personal thing is just ridiculous. My aunt and uncle take care of my grandfather who is sick. Because they're going to this wedding and have to go out of town for it, my parents had no choice but to go take care of my grandfather, cutting our plans short. Which meant there's no time to go see my other aunt and uncle in Kentucky because they have to run back to Florida to do this. Plus they live in a different city, so it's even more traveling and crap. So I arranged instead to visit my boyfriend in New Jersey. I didn't really want to do this because I found out his parents don't care for me at all, but I figured I'd just deal with it. I we were going to go hang out with friends there and maybe go to New York and see the big Christmas tree and stuff. The very day I was supposed to fly there a huge snowstorm came and my trip got canceled. The upside is that I got my money back. But now I don't get to see my boyfriend who I haven't seen in several months. I may have to spend New Years completely alone, my parents will be out of town and I don't really have any other family who'd be around. I am going to try to spend it with friends, and hopefully my boyfriend will be able to fly here after Christmas, but it's all very iffy. I ended up pretty much being forced to go with my parents to Georgia after my trip got canceled. I did get to see my aunt and uncle but they are not staying here for Christmas, they are going back home soon. We have to open our gifts and do Christmas tomorrow I think, because of this. So Christmas is all messed up. We will probably not be doing anything the actual day of Christmas, and then we will be going home, and then my parents will be going to take care of my grandfather. I'll be staying at home because I can't do much to help out and don't want anymore car trips. My grandmother also has problems and can't stay organized, has a crazy messy house, and wrote a check to me for Christmas for fifty dollars and lost it. We think it's floating around in the mail somewhere with no address on the envelope. My own family drives me insane at times, more so now than ever.
There have been some good things this year. My boyfriend was at least able to visit me this summer in July and August. We had a nice trip to the beach (although there again, I had a problem, my computer ******** up really bad while I was there and later on I had to send it off to be repaired, and the people who fixed it deleted my harddrive. This computer was less than a year old when it messed up). I got to take him places in Florida that he hadn't been to like St. Augustine and one of the Disney theme parks. So we had a pretty good time then. And since someone mentioned volunteering, that's another thing I finally got to start doing this year. I've always kind of wanted to help out at like an animal shelter or something. Well I ended up getting to volunteer for this organization that brings cats to Petsmart each Saturday to try to get them adopted. My friend happened to be there and they asked if she wanted to volunteer, and then she told me about it as well, so now we both do it, and I really enjoy helping out there.
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