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 Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:03 pm
I've made some webcomics before, but I guess this is my first time making something like a manga chapter. I used to make three webcomics per week, and some improvements to my art can be seen in them, but I put them on hiatus so I'd have more time to focus on improving my skills (and so I could do some other things with my time). Anyhow, there are still a lot of basic things I don't really have covered... Check out El Cacto (co-written by Matthew Rushton) at the link below and let me know what you think. Constructive criticism for the art and paneling would be appreciated (more than for the story, humour, etc.). http://cloudflash.net/CpElCacto000.php
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 6:00 pm
I had a fairly well-written critique earlier for this, but my laptop did something silly so I lost it. Anyway, I'll give you the condensed version of what I had.
I really don't think it's necessary to have three pages of filler before actually hitting the story. It would be okay for a printed comic, but for the sake of the webcomic format, readers such as myself might find it tedious to hit the "next" button three times before actually reading. A [colored] cover page, followed by the real page one, is probably all you need. The table of contents (with clickable links!) can be listed in another part of your site. Even if you're planning on printing this, you have to consider the methods of publication, and what is most effective for your readers.
As for the art, I would not have guessed the people were of Mexican heritage. They look like dirty Japanese people with facial hair, to be perfectly honest. I'm aware that anime/manga doesn't draw the best representations of Mexican people either, but just because they draw Mexicans like that doesn't mean you should follow in their footsteps. Use references and take notes on what makes a person look Mexican, and then draw it from there.
The cactus could definitely have a bit more personality in them. They have such a cute design, and they are anthropomorphic, so why not give them a bit more character in the way they move or attack? They don't have to be standing perfectly straight up, bend them a little!
I find some of the screentone backgrounds unnecessary, such as in page 14 in the first panel. The weird spiral is distracting and doesn't really work well with the drawing. You might as well keep it a solid screentone, or keep it blank.
I hope you find it all helpful. Cheers!
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:13 pm
Yeah, it could have made do without the little filler buildup. I tried to find out what Mexicans look like, really, I did! I searched things like "How to draw Mexicans", "Mexican people", "Mexicans", and so on... I went through pages of search results and found nothing useful. I even tried looking around YouTube, no luck... What pictures I did find of Mexican people... well, they looked just like any other person, even down to the fashion. Living in Saskatchewan, Canada, I don't see a whole lot of Mexicans. All I could find from my research was that they seemed to have thick eyelashes and thick eyebrows, and perhaps wide noses... And they have dark iris in the eyes and darker skin, of course. In anime, it seems like they just give Mexicans big, dirty moustaches, pointy moustaches, and/or stubble/short beards. That was all I really had to work with... Don't suppose you know anything about drawing Mexicans or where I can find that information? I think the cactus didn't really get shown enough in this chapter to express some more lively movement. He could have maybe bent a bit from the Mexican's punch, but I wanted to make it seem like human attacks are futile against it. The cactus' first attack could have had a better pose, though, yeah. I'll keep the "bending" thing in mind for the future. This is my first time attempting to use screentones. I think they saved me some time with the sand, but I agree, I think I went overboard with the other stuff or used them inappropriately. I didn't even really understand screentones until recently. I sorta read about them before, but I think it just sorta "clicked" when I took a look at one of the manga things someone posted within this guild. I looked around Google for screentones I could use, but didn't find many useful ones... Do you know where I could find some better ones? This is where I found mine: http://screentone.deviantart.com/gallery/I eventually figured I wouldn't have much use for those, so I just made some simple transparent images with a white dot on them (with different amounts of transparency surrounding them), then I tiled them over my drawings to give them a screentone-like appearance. This can be seen in the clouds, gradiants, and on page 8. Do you think those makeshift screentones look okay? Whoops, I forgot those little dangly things on the sombrero on page 21. And thanks for the critique.
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 4:55 pm
I agree about the B/W cover page and table of contents being unnecessary.
You're pretty good at drawing people. You could use work on drawing clothes and plants and such, but none of those're bad. They could just be better.
This was a really amusing comic. I'm interesting about what the project could be and the idea of an anthro cactus is something I can honestly say I haven't seen a comic about.
I'd read chapter 2 if it existed.
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Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 1:24 am
You're going to be hard-pressed to find a "how to draw _____ ethnicity" tutorial on the internet. I would be extremely surprised if you can even find a real "how to draw Caucasians" tutorial on the internet. However, it takes careful observation to distinguish race from race.
For example, I have thick eyelashes and thick eyebrows. I have semi-wide nostrils. My eyes are a natural dark brown, my hair is black, and my skin a mocha-beige color. However, I'm Chinese-Filipino. Most people can tell I'm not Latina/Mexican (although, I've been mistaken for being Hindu Indian a few times. Lolwut.).
Look deeper into your photo collection. There's much more than hair color and skin color; look at the placement of the cheek bones, the width of the forehead, the shape of the eyes, the shape of the nose... the list goes on. Yes, manga tends to make a generalization of races (big, dirty mustaches and sombreros), but you don't have to follow in their footsteps.
If you want, I can throw together a quick tutorial/drawing-thing of what I think a Mexican person looks like while still stylizing it in a manga-ish way. But, you'll have to wait a couple of days; Christmas is busytime. XD
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Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 1:50 am
Tenko72 I agree about the B/W cover page and table of contents being unnecessary. You're pretty good at drawing people. You could use work on drawing clothes and plants and such, but none of those're bad. They could just be better. This was a really amusing comic. I'm interesting about what the project could be and the idea of an anthro cactus is something I can honestly say I haven't seen a comic about. I'd read chapter 2 if it existed. Haha, thanks for the comments. I intend to make chapter 2 sometime spring 2010, and the story's going to get more bizarre. I think most of my folds are pretty bad/unnecessary... the clothes I draw look really baggy or like they're really long and have to be wrinkled/rolled up. Is that what you thought was wrong, or was there something else about the clothes? Or just their design in general? Kupocake You're going to be hard-pressed to find a "how to draw _____ ethnicity" tutorial on the internet. I would be extremely surprised if you can even find a real "how to draw Caucasians" tutorial on the internet. However, it takes careful observation to distinguish race from race. For example, I have thick eyelashes and thick eyebrows. I have semi-wide nostrils. My eyes are a natural dark brown, my hair is black, and my skin a mocha-beige color. However, I'm Chinese-Filipino. Most people can tell I'm not Latina/Mexican (although, I've been mistaken for being Hindu Indian a few times. Lolwut.). Look deeper into your photo collection. There's much more than hair color and skin color; look at the placement of the cheek bones, the width of the forehead, the shape of the eyes, the shape of the nose... the list goes on. Yes, manga tends to make a generalization of races (big, dirty mustaches and sombreros), but you don't have to follow in their footsteps. If you want, I can throw together a quick tutorial/drawing-thing of what I think a Mexican person looks like while still stylizing it in a manga-ish way. But, you'll have to wait a couple of days; Christmas is busytime. XD I think I'll set up some pages on my website for "how to draw [race]" and maybe include some stereotypes and stuff while I'm at it... I was also trying to find some "common stereotypical Mexican words" such as "amigo" and "adios", but I had a hard time with that, too... I even asked on Yahoo Answers and only got one response and the guy didn't even translate the words, and I'd never even heard of them before. Anyhow, those are some good points that I overlooked. Oh, to add to what I think I might have found out about Mexicans... I think the males perhaps have wide jaws and kinda big lips like Cormano from Sunset Riders: http://hideyaface.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/cormano.jpgOther than that, it seems like slapping a sombrero, poncho, or wrestling mask is the simplest thing games/cartoons/manga do to make someone look Mexican... http://media.photobucket.com/image/mucha lucha/vivealochingon/MuchaLuchaGroupShot.jpghttp://img1.sidereel.com/_episodeimage/1cf2.10.428.jpghttp://i49.tinypic.com/11ce369.pngI was thinking of looking for some Old Western movies for a better look at some Mexicans, but I figured they'd focus on caucasian cowboys. I think I'll want to generalize a little bit for humour, but yeah, it would be great to be able to make the people look more like real Mexicans by using proper reference material. I think I'll try again at attempting to find pictures/videos of Mexicans, but any kind of help you can offer would be great. You don't have to make it "manga-like" (unless you want to). If you have time to get around to making a quick tutorial thing, you could do it in any style and I could try to adapt my drawings to whatever guidelines you might have to see how it looks.
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Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 2:04 am
I have a classmate who is a Mexican immigrant, attending school here in the United States. However, he isn't one to defend his nationality, he actually makes stereotypical Mexican statements like:
- "AY YI YI YI YI" - Being rowdy.
- "OY MI BURRITO" - Upon being kicked in the balls.
- "FIESTA! FIESTA!" - Being rowdy, again.
- "YO QUIERO TACOS." - 'I want tacos,' to express hunger.
He also has a habit of prolonging certain vowels, like "oo" in "good" and the "aye" sound in "nice." I can throw down a few more things he's done that really reinforced the Mexican stereotype in my head, but I'll stop at there.
Most people put the sombreros and ponchos because they really don't know how to properly portray a Mexican otherwise. But, as they say in comedy, "louder, faster, funnier." If you have to be more garish to make a laugh, then exaggerate it to the point of ridiculousness. Don't just stop as a sombrero and poncho, make him ride a donkey, with a tequila in one hand and a burrito in the other.
Of course, if you're more interested in portraying a Mexican as a real Mexican person, then really study the ethnicity and take notes on it. Otherwise, if you just want to throw some stereotypical humor, just go over the top.
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Posted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 8:55 pm
Haha, your post made me laugh, and thanks for the tips. I think I was vaguely considering making tacos a common food in the story, but it would be pretty funny if everyone was wanting/eating tacos and burritos almost constantly. I intend to have some serious characters, though, and I guess I don't want to make it look like I'm doing nothing but making fun of Mexicans.
I'm sure a "real Mexican" person is pretty much just like any other "normal" person... People might have some differences due to location, but I think most people pretty much act the same way regardless of race or gender. But yeah, I'll try to research their physical traits and just mix in a little bit of stereotype for the most part.
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