Welcome to Gaia! ::

A half-hour passed and there hadn't been a single rap at the door and yet Alexis was still pacing incessantly and adjusting his glasses. Five times he had considering calling the office to ask if they had been mistaken, or if they had changed their minds about assigning a roommate to him. In his opinion that would have been so much better, but apparently not having a roommate was a bad thing amongst the students. Apparently it meant you were really really ******** up.

A calf cramp forced Alexis to flop quite unceremoniously onto the bed with a groan. He needed to stop worrying. "Just...take a breath. And relax. You'll live." A soft breath escaped his lips (finally) and he took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "Yeah. It'll be okay. There's probably a reasonable explanation for it."

Alexis startled up from his comfortable half-sleep, glasses clattering to the floor with a yelp from him. "Ah! C-coming," he yelled out as he carefully groped around the floor for his glasses, being careful to shuffle his feet so he wouldn't step on them. Unfortunately (for him), his search for his glasses distracted him from the little voice at the back of his head that was whispering loud warnings at him.

"THAT VOICE. WE KNOW THAT VOICE. THAT IS NOT A GOOD VOICE. IT IS BAD. VERY BAD. DON'T OPEN THE DOOR.

When Alexis could see clearly again he rushed to the door, opening it with a breathless, simpering laugh...only to go dead silent a second later and slam the door closed in his face.

The door slammed into him with a loud WHUMPH and set Alexis stumbling forward with a yelp. Blue eyes desperately eyed the window for a second before he was turned about and trapped in a bone breaking hug. "HNNGH," was all Alexis could manage while being embraced, and when he was let go he hurriedly shied back to his side of the room with a feeble "Y-yeah...great...isn't it..." Elzo wasn't batshit crazy, not to Alexis at least, but he certainly wasn't as close to sane as he would've liked his roommate to be. Though, as he tried to spot the silver lining on this giant storm cloud, he figured it was a good thing they at least knew each other to some degree.

When the first box was brought in, all Alexis could do was looks at the giant d**k on it with wide-eyed horror and a desire to confiscate any permanent markers in a 20 foot radius of his things. "Oh god I hope he didn't draw that."

"P-P-P-P...WHAT?!" Alexis stared down the giant box with twice as much horror in his eyes as the first and hurriedly dragged it into the room, shoving it into a corner so the label couldn't be seen. "ARE YOU...c-crazy," he started to shout and then managed a loud whisper. "This isn't allowed here!"

Alexis hope to god that box remained closed for the rest of their stay in this place, but some semblance of manhood in him told him that it would be opened up within 12 hours...at the very least. "WELL YOU...you sh-should care...I-I mean...p-p-p...that stuff..." The boy couldn't even finish his sentence; his head was swimming in an ocean of confusion and frustration amidst a fluster storm.

Finger rose to his temples and rubbed them methodically in an effort to organize his thoughts. "Are you going to keep calling me that," he asked, somewhat wearily. Personally, the Phantom of the famous play creeped him out beyond belief and being compared to him made implications of his character (stalker, mentally imbalanced, murderous, etc.) that Alexis really could do without. Deal with the little things first, tackle the porn issue later.

"TOP," he replied loudly, almost before Elzo even finished the question. "Y-you're on top...please." If Elzo was the type to give into carnal desires (and from the box, it certainly seemed so) Alexis did NOT want to have to climb down from the top bunk in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom only to intrude upon his roommate's "special time".

"I-I think you s-said it enough for the b-both of us," Alexis whispered uncomfortably, as in his mind there had to be sensors all around this place, and somehow, somewhere, there was an alarm going off as the word "porn" had been uttered and any minute now the staff was going to conduct a raid because of it. Alecis was of the mind to question how something as crass as porn could ever be considered to have any semblance of quality whatsoever, but a second thought had him realize that Elzo would have a rebuttal...and he wasn't quite sure he needed to hear the details of what made pornography "high quality".

Squished into Elzo's side, he found himself unable to argue with the name Phantom (noogies and wedgies flashed before his eyes). "After all," he told himself, "it could be......worse." "Please. Not Ali," he groaned, facepalming despite his glasses. "I'll take Phantom over a girl's name." Alexis frowned at the smudges left on his glasses and gingerly cleaned it with a soft cloth he kept on him at all times. "I can deal with snoring," he mumbled, mostly to himself.

When he looked up again, to say the wind was knocked out of him was the understatement of the year. Never in his life had he seen a woman so voluptuous and scantily clad! He wanted to scream but his lungs were frozen in shock, which was surprising considering the rest of him felt like his skin was on fire. Good god why couldn't he look away?! This was vile and crude and wrong and...absolutely fascinating.

Rather than screaming what he had intended (which was "RIGHT BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM") Alexis adjusted his glasses and quietly uttered: "Is she...real?"

Alexis watched as Elzo tacked up the poster, his hormones keeping his eyes glued to the woman even though every ounce of parent patented manners screamed at how he was being a crude vagabond. "THIS ISN'T THE WAY PROPER MEN ACT." The voice screamed at him, and yet, nature still won out over nurture. After all, this was his first experience with a nude woman (even if she was only ninety percent real and on a poster). Another little voice, one that had been suppressed since puberty loomed over his horizon, quietly cheered.

When Elzo pulled out the second poster, he craned his neck almost a little too eagerly. The way his new roommate spoke of this woman Alexis was surprised to find how much more tasteful the second poster was...not to mention how old it was. And here he had thought that there was no chance in the world that someone like Elzo could ever surprise him. "She does have a very classic beauty to her face," the little parental instilled manners seized onto the fact he was looking at her face and not any of the naughtier bits and tried to regain control of Alexis. "I don't think she's my type though," Alexis began to contemplate what his type would be and the voice screeched at how he doesn't have a type because women shouldn't be put into types based on physical attributes and WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHER THINK.

And suddenly the hormones were shoved back into their cramped little box and Alexis tensed up uncomfortably. "I-I AM F-FINE...th-thank you," he half-yelled, shoving the magazine back as he stared squarely at his feet, suddenly ashamed about his previous actions.

The moment had passed, and while that voice that embodied the essence of manhood begged and pleaded for Alexis to just take the damn magazine, the one instilled by his parents had resumed its chokehold on the boy. "N-NO I RE-...really...I-I don't...you d-don't...it's f-fine," he stuttered, hands pressed firmly against his legs, fingers clenched into the fabric of his pants. If he moved at all he would take it, he would take the magazine and he couldn't take it, wouldn't take it. Good articles be DAMNED.

He winced when Elzo continued to pull things out of the box, but when he saw it wasn't pornography, the uptight boy untensed a tad. Of course, the fact that he preferred dead animals (well, just the bones but still) to porn said worlds about Alexis. "I-is that..." He let his sentence trail off, once again, strangely mesmerized by something he ought to have been mortified about.