It hurt.

It hurt to watch him. It hurt to see him high as a kite on pain killers, knowing he was suffering, that there was nothing she could do to make things better. All she could do was watch him, each morning, each evening, taking the pills like Tic Tacs as she sat there quietly, unable to do a thing. They didn't talk about what had happened that evening, about how he'd nearly died by the hands of the mysterious Captain Kunzite that Ursula had so many questions over. No questions asked, no answers given, they just went on pretending as if nothing had happened, though both of their worlds had been drastically changed because of that fight.

It hurt to know that there was a power within her, a power residing inside of her that could end all of this. That could destroy any and all senshi, that could forever silence Astraea and Kunzite in a heartbeat.

And she could not control it.

She couldn't access the power. She couldn't control it, bend it to her will, act upon her own choosing and relieve him of all of his stresses. She had the power inside her that could push the Negaverse forward and end the war with the Moon Kingdom. The power to rule the world... and she could do nothing.

Beryl, on the other hand, could do whatever she wanted. She was growing stronger each time she appeared; Ursula could feel the change within her. Three times now, she'd pushed herself through the young woman, three times taking over and making her presence known. If it hadn't been for Beryl, Khaldun might have been gravely hurt. If it hadn't been for Beryl, Charonite would have died. There was something even more terrifying, though, about the Queen's appearance, something Ursula had been unable to bring up to Charonite.

It hadn't just been Beryl, during the transition.

They were linked. Nealite was Beryl, Beryl was Nealite. As much as Ursula attempted to convince herself otherwise, while the impulse of the soul drove her, it was still her body, still her mind, watching, moving, speaking. Beryl had no power because Nealite had no knowledge of how to harness the power. The magic was slowly being channeled, the powers slowly developing and being learned, but only as the influence of Beryl's soul grew and infected itself further into Ursula's own soul. It was a parasite, it was a disease, and it was taking her over, slowly, as each day progressed.

Eyes stared at the fair face looking back at her through the mirror's reflection. The bathroom was different, but it was still a mirror, still something Ursula could stare at as she mulled over things. Things were different now, things had changed. She'd gotten the power she'd wanted, she'd gotten the man she'd desired. But at what cost had it come? Had she sacrificed her life to obtain her goals? How long would she be able to cherish them, before she would lose everything? Before she lost everything to herself, to the creature lurking within her, waiting to take over, waiting to control her entirely?

There was nothing she could do now, nothing but sit and watch as the world went by. Watch and wait while she was unable to help those who needed the help she harbored within her, unable to draw out and use on her own accord.

And it hurt.