Disclaimer: Yes, some of these things are rules for a slash roleplay search. Man slash. That is, boy on boy action. Nothing particularly horrifying, but if for whatever reason you are uncomfortable about reading anything related to it, even in jest, you can skip rules 9, 10 and 12, and maybe 3.
Disclaimer: This rant involves a lot of vulgar language. If you find this personally distasteful, then it is advised that you refrain from reading.
Quote:
- I'm not a ******** child, I'm not going to break into tears and clutch onto you desperately if you decide to leave me. So don't just drop it like it's hot, send me a ******** message to tell me it's over. s**t happens, I get it. If you're stalling until you can think of a reply, hey, keep chatting ooc with me, and if nothing comes, then do the brave thing and admit it's over. I'm not a fragile ******** snowflake, I'm a cynical, experienced Nazi, and I don't care that we don't mesh as well as we thought we did.
Oh my God, be literate. And I'm using the literal definition here, I'm that desperate. Do you type by slamming the keyboard with a ******** fish and then hit send? I don't know any language other than English because I am an uneducated, uncultured yokel, so use ******** English with me, not whatever poor replication of it you've been getting away with all these years.
'I only roleplay...' Goddamn ******** no. When you limit yourself, you limit me, and I'm sick of that s**t. Yes, this is a search for slash, but there are so many girls out there who will be willing to play a dude for man-on-man, but in a hetero relationship, they suddenly only play the girl. Let me put this to you simply: I don't want the sort of man you play when you're only willing to work with a v****a otherwise. It's a personal preference thing, yes. You personally prefer to only play one gender unless it's slash. I prefer to not touch you with a goddamn ten-foot pole.
I care about the content, not the ******** presentation. In fact, it sure would be lovely if I could actually find the Goddamn post. I don't care about those heart-wrenching lyrics from a band only you listen to, I just want your ******** post. And you can use all the models and art ripped from dA you want. Art theft, hey, that's cool, hoorah, stealing people's hard work! But don't tell me I need to do it, because I'm sorry that I don't base my characters on an already established appearance. I like to make my own s**t up.
On that "content not presentation" note... yeah, I don't care about length. I'm sporadic. Sometimes it's longer, sometimes it's shorter. As long as something is actually ******** achieved, I don't care. Actually, I expect the post length to indicate how much it has achieved. I'm sick to s**t of giant posts that just explore Jane's emotional state over some crappy arse rose that reminds her of her abusive father. Shut the s**t up, I don't care. As for me?. Well, I've been described as "economic" with my language. Sometimes I'm flat and dry and scarce with my description, and sometimes I show SMeyer how you use a ******** adverb. I hate feeling pressured into achieving and maintaining a length. It's as bad as pressuring people into decorating them. It shouldn't have any bearing on the roleplay.
It's a ******** thread title, not a work of art. If I can't understand what the word is supposed to be, then you've got a ******** addiction to symbols for font. See my title? See that b***h right there? Yeah, you can read it perfectly, can't you? This is because I'm considerate, not because I'm ******** plain or lazy.
Yeah, hi, here's a huge ******** pet peeve of mine. Referring to werewolves as "lycans". I might, I repeat might be willing to swallow "lycanthrope" as a term for them, but if you even think of typing the word lycan near me, I'm sorry, but GET THE ******** OUT. It's like calling a cancer patient a ******** can. Understand? It makes no sense, it's an ugly word, and if you understand anything about etymology, you will understand that it's completely ******** redundant. So it's werewolf or lycanthrope folks.
These are games, okay? Light hearted entertainment. Neither of us are being paid for this, we're doing this of our own volition for entertainment value. So let's keep it goddamn entertaining. Make s**t up, add twists without warning, play as many characters as you want, and for God's sake stop taking it so goddamn seriously. Oh, and if you're looking for a rapid-fire pace, then I'm the wrong whore, because I move slow. You'll be lucky if you get responses once a day - maybe more if we're one at the same time. Once I'm fretting over timely response, and always churning out a billion paragraphs per post, then this stops being fun, and I end up shooting myself in the ******** head rather than continuing. So yeah. Keep it light, folks.
I'm not a ******** weeaboo, stop treating me like one. If I wanted to have Sasuke and Naruto banging each other in a steamy fictional forest, then I would have written yaoi. It's a japanese phenomenon, and I am ******** Australian. I want homosexuality. Or we can say slash, because that's acceptable slang in my totally racist eyes. I'm sick of the word "yaoi" being bandied about.
Seke shouldn't even exist. That should just be it. I'm sick of b***h and butch relationships. If the majority of hetero relationships can have a system of give and take, why can't the fags? I am not going to be your leather clad dominatrix, and I am not going to be your a**-rape b***h, so don't even ask that question. I will beat this dead horse into jam if I need to. Seriously. When people stop dicking around with dom⊂ and girls-with-wangs bullshit, and bash a couple of stubborn, headstrong, prideful blokes together until they make out out, that's hot. Seriously. I ******** hate girls with wangs. Well, not trannies. You know what I ******** mean.
Here's an issue that comes up a lot, and I thought I'd sneakily hide it in this mess of a rant so people actually read it. Who posts first? Okay, seriously, I'm sick of people with an allergy to starting. I'm not afraid to set the scene. Actually, it's easier to make your own s**t up than to base something off the incoherent scrawlings of someone else. But here's my rule, and it ******** works well: it's not about preference, it's about convenience. Let's say the story starts of with a guy in a fight, and another guy walking in on the fight. Should the walk in start?. ******** NO. He knows s**t all about the people, who is who, who started the fight, what the status of the fight is, et cetera. I don't care if you don't want to ******** start, if your character is the one that best establishes scene, you start. I will do the same.
M-Preg. What. The. ********?. Seriously. What?! Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to hunt down the moron who invented that Nightmare Fuel, slap the b***h around (BECAUSE YOU JUST KNOW NO MALE IS STUPID ENOUGH TO COME UP WITH THAT s**t), and ask her what goddamn drugs she was on when she dreamt up that one. I could go on, really, about how much that word makes me seethe with unrestrained, festering hatred for all mankind, but I think you have all suffered my frustrations enough. So, to put it simple: Sweet. Jayzus. No.
So go on.
Hit me with all your frustrations.
