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 Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:15 pm
'Bury the past', the Ufalme had said; 'let go the hatchet', Kibwana had preached. All well and good for the marsh hued lion to go about on his soap box. He had lost a sister, he had not lost the love of his life. He had not lost his happy future.
Of course it had been through their very candid discussion that Bavu had been convinced that while Kibwana had not lost his 'love', he had lost a sister. He had lost what he had believed to be his final trustworthy ally in his new reign as Ufalme. And he had blamed that on his remaining sister. He had felt betrayed by his last remaining blood relative and he had buried the hatchet, forgotten the past - so why could not Bavu?
With time to think on his own, he had paced the confines of his den so rapidly that a path had quickly been etched in the dirt that collected over the stony floor. The bedding furs had been mussed as he'd flung himself down and then up again. They were worn and filled with dust now - he'd have to request they were shaken out. Still, he knew that Taa was speaking with the king herself just then. What was he to say? How did one bury the past? Where did he begin?
Really all that mattered was that he was willing to try, but he wasn't aware of how much that really meant yet.
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:31 pm
Taadhima sat quietly outside the entrance of her den, not quite ready to enter yet. Her expression was one of sober concentration and she was deep in thought. The conversation she'd just had with her brother had taken her completely off guard. She had thought her life would never change and that she'd be stuck in the same painful situation forever. Her brother had surprised her though and by putting aside their past and keeping their tempers in check, they had taken the first steps towards mending their broken relationship.
However, her brother had also told her that she needed to mend the relationship with her mate, Bavu. Taa had been trying for years to have a good relationship with her mate, but had not because of Bavu's stubborn refusal to accept her. Now her brother was telling her that Bavu was willing to try? Taa swallowed nervously, clearing her throat and kept her feelings of hope in check. She had no reason to believe that this time would be any different from the last times, but she hoped with all of her heart that it would.
She cautiously stood and walked slowly into the den. Bavu had obviously been pacing, wearing a track in the ground. She ignored that and just sat quietly, a short distance away.
"Hello, Bavu."
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:38 pm
He had been so wrapped up in his pacing that her entrance had gone completely unnoticed. His face was twisted in deep concentration, as if he were preparing for some sort of battle. In a way he was; his behavior with Taa was a habit at this point and would be more difficult to change than it might have otherwise. He had been more cordial and even flirtatious with other female members of the pride, though, as Mwana had noticed and told her father. So why couldn't he be that way with Taa?
Because she was who she was, due to no fault of her own.
He had frowned pensively at the very truthful mental admittance, a step in the right direction he supposed, but was still finding it difficult to find the words he could say to his estranged wife. He was loathe to admit full responsibility; Bavu was not a selfless lion, being very prideful and slow to apologize typically to those besides their Ufalme. If he weren't to apologize, though, then what was he to say?
Her words broke through his concentration and he turned a very candidly surprised expression over his shoulder at her. His body quickly followed the movement, turning rapidly so that he faced her completely and thus ended his incessant pacing. For a moment he stood stock still, and then his legs folded carelessly beneath his hindquarters so that he sat with a dull thud.
Well there she was. No more delaying it now, he supposed he had to say something.
"Hello, Taa." He cut off shortly, as if forcing himself not to say her full name. His gaze drifted from her, looking everywhere but her, though his expression was soft and almost cubbish in his awkward attempt to find common ground. This was how their first meeting should have went, though he didn't know it just then. "How is your brother?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 1:07 pm
Taa swallowed nervously a few more times, still so nervous. It was the nervous feeling that an adolescent might have, meeting their mate for the first time. Taa knew that this was their chance to start over and she was not going to do anything to ruin it. She knew how difficult this had to be for Bavu. If she expected him to accept her, she had to accept the way he was. He was prideful, arrogant, and she knew it was difficult for him to apologize. But she shared all of those characteristics and she could not blame the situation solely on him. She shared the relationship and she shared the blame. However, the point was to put all of that behind them and to move on.
Taa blinked a few times at his questions; it was not what she had expected him to say. Still it was as good of a starting point as any and was a welcome way to begin the conversation that Taa had been both dreading and hoping for.
"He is good. Different, I think. That's the best conversation I've had with him since we were cubs," she said with complete honesty. It had surprised her.
"He said that I should come and and talk with you."
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:11 am
He shifted his weight from one hind paw to the other so that he rocked almost imperceptibly before he did the same with his front, lifting the last a bit so it bent at the heel. This was incredibly awkward and for the first time he found himself regretting how he had behaved over the time since the two had been betrothed. But then, again, his Adia crossed his mind and he visibly grimaced at the memory. He would never forget, but the wound could heal. He could move on and make a life with what he had, rather than dwelling on a past that could not be rendered any different. She was gone. It was as it was; she was gone but Taa was here and there was no reason he couldn't complete his life with her. Why couldn't he try to find ways to love her? It was useless to waste his life in misery, when the pride itself was trying to move forward into the future to break the bonds of it's heavy and terrible past.
At her words, his eyes snapped to her and then he, too, blinked a few times in confusion. Why had Kibwana told her to come to him?! That made it worse! Now he had to say something. He couldn't just be nice and leave it at that, she was expecting some sort of admission or news from him. He cringed, again visibly, and let his gaze fall back to the dirt beneath his paws.
How was he supposed to say what needed to be said?
"That's good." He nodded his head a bit without looking at her, "That it was the best, I mean. Change is good."
Swallowing, he let his eyes move back to her as he spoke haltingly, "The Ufalme and I had words as well and... we are in agreeance. That the past... is the past."
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Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 9:11 pm
Taa could see that Bavu was visibly nervous as he shifted from paw to paw and it reassured her. Not that she was glad her mate was uncomfortable, but it meant that her own nervous feelings were understandable and shared. This was not going to be easy for either of them, but it was high time that they began their life together, truly. Really, their life should have started long ago, but Taa believed that it was better late than never.
Taa was watching carefully and saw that her statement bothered Bavu. She thought quickly and realized that she was going to have to help him with this. It would be easier for her to broach the subject. Bavu was doing his best, given his personality and the situation.
Catching his gaze, she worked hard to hold it, encouragement and hope shining in her expression.
"He and I also spoke on that particular subject and I agree as well. Really, the past is that past. Whatever has been said and done is behind us. I . . . would like to try this again and maybe . . . start over, fresh?" she said, tentatively.
She hastened to add, "If that's what you want, of course. I just think it would be easier for the both of us."
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Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 9:35 pm
It was almost unfathomable, but most certainly painful to imagine starting a life with Taa. It wasn't that he didn't believe that they could eventually come to terms and love one another, and it certainly wasn't that she wasn't pretty. It was simply that she wasn't Adia and he was finding it difficult still to let her go, though perhaps... not as difficult as he might have once imagined it. All hearts heal, even if it takes some wounds longer than others to scar over.
And no one was exactly expecting him to just... jump in the sack and make her his one and only princess. Not even she was expecting that, from what he could tell from her own reactions to this sudden change in... everything. That unspoken support was enough to buoy his hope that this could work. No, not that it could work but that it would. It would work. They would be happy. He just had to try.
He just had to forget Adia.
Or at least put her out of his mind. That much would be enough. If he could just not think of her every day without incapacitating himself that would be enough. He was sure that Kibwana thought of her often enough still, and that Taa did, but both were willing to move on with their lives and really... so was Bavu.
He was.
When she caught his gaze, he swallowed audibly and allowed her to hold his attention. She was being encouraging, and he could very easily see the hope there. It was an expression he wasn't used to seeing on her face. It was a fantastic change. Her tentativeness was even... cute, if he dared to go so far. For a moment he was distracted by that thought, but her quick correction drew his attention to the present. "Start over? No... no, no I'd like that. I think so too."
There, that was perhaps the least formal thing he had ever said. With a smile that slowly lost it's hesitation, he straightened a bit and added some charm to his expression, "Hello, I'm Bavuwajali - but you can call me Bavu."
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Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 9:53 pm
The ever present tension that had haunted for Taa all but disappeared at the answering smile on Bavu's face. It was the first time that he had looked at Taa with any warmth in his expression, with any emotion but cold disdain or open hatred. The spark it ignited in Taa was surprising, but she pushed that thought aside. The simple release of tension was so great that she thought she might float away or perhaps collapse in a pile on the ground. She had to restrain herself from grinning stupidly and only just throttled the urge.
Here, finally, an answer to her prayers and all of the wishing and hoping she'd done for so long. It might take awhile, but time was nothing compared to the joy she felt now. She would give him as long as he liked, if only he would continue to look at her like he was currently doing. As mates, they could take all of the time that they had never spent before under the reign of her father. They could get to know one another all over again, with a complete fresh start. Holding true to her word, Taa did her best to erase all of the unhappy and lonely memories from her mind, leaving a great deal of room for new ones.
Stepping forward, Taa returned Bavu's expression with her most genuine, open smile and returned the salutation.
"Hello Bavu, my name is Taadhima'Aali, but please, call me Taa."
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