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 Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 8:29 am
Lately i have noticed people questioning other people beliefs and not in a nice way.
Usually some one will make a comment in passing and people will make it bigger than it seems and go on and on and on about it, then the person who made the comment feels inclined to defend themselfs then a game of back and forth goes on that has nothing to do with the topic.
LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE!!
If on the original post they make to broad of a statement then ask them to be more specific with out trailing off.
If you don't agree or believe in some ones post, post another page or PM them otherwise let them be.
If the original post says something about wicca when they ment paganism make your correction the continue the debate and or answer their question.
and sometimes your opinion is not even valued so be quiet.
Thanks
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 1:58 pm
I think it's just one of the unfortunate side effects of the guild being half debate. It can be difficult sometimes to raise questions without sounding mean about it. I agree with you that we should all try to be a bit more civil, but honestly I don't really see that happening.
I totally agree with you about corrections, though. I've seen some threads where half of the posts were just debates over terminology. It's like, okay, you know what they meant, get over it.
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 2:53 pm
It would be ideal, but it's not realistic.
People are just meanieheads. cry
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:25 pm
So if someone is completely incorrect in what they are saying, we should just ignore it? Because obviously it's nicer to let someone continue to be misinformed on something, than risk being a little mean, but helping them learn. confused
From personal experience, I've appreciated it a whole lot more when people come right out and tell me I am wrong about something, than when others have tippy-toed around it. The whole "trying to be nice" was all fine and good, but if they'd have just gotten to the point from the beginning, the situation wouldn't have gotten so out of control in the first place, and it would have saved all involved (especially me) a lot of pain and heartache.
People need to realize that most of the time they are in "debate" forums. Debates are not "hand-holding", "pony and rainbow" shows. There are certain expectations, and anything is open to debate in these forums/threads. If that is not the kinds of discussions that one is looking for, then they should be choosier in where they post.
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 7:12 pm
ncsweet So if someone is completely incorrect in what they are saying, we should just ignore it? Because obviously it's nicer to let someone continue to be misinformed on something, than risk being a little mean, but helping them learn. confused From personal experience, I've appreciated it a whole lot more when people come right out and tell me I am wrong about something, than when others have tippy-toed around it. The whole "trying to be nice" was all fine and good, but if they'd have just gotten to the point from the beginning, the situation wouldn't have gotten so out of control in the first place, and it would have saved all involved (especially me) a lot of pain and heartache. People need to realize that most of the time they are in "debate" forums. Debates are not "hand-holding", "pony and rainbow" shows. There are certain expectations, and anything is open to debate in these forums/threads. If that is not the kinds of discussions that one is looking for, then they should be choosier in where they post. yes we are debating BUT when people get personal and off topic that is not on, for example when some one asks about pagan youth and some one question another persons right to be what ever and some one corrects them and some one else puts their 2cents worth in and the whole "debate" has nothing to do with the original topic and nothing get proven and people just hate one another, this is not a good thing. We are DEBATING/DISCUSSING not ARGUING.
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Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 11:56 pm
Depends on what they are claiming to be, or claiming to be a part of. If it is something that is a closed culture or some other thing that they haven't earned the right to claim, then others do have a right to question it.
Just because someone is asking questions, does not make it a personal attack. The problem is that most people seem to take it that way, and instead of simply answering the questions or at least looking into the new information they are being given, they stick their fingers in their ears and refuse to even consider that they might be mistaken. No one wants to hear that they may be wrong about something, but I'd rather someone tell me I'm wrong, than continue to build my spiritual practices/faith on erroneous information/beliefs.
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Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 2:12 am
ncsweet Depends on what they are claiming to be, or claiming to be a part of. If it is something that is a closed culture or some other thing that they haven't earned the right to claim, then others do have a right to question it. Just because someone is asking questions, does not make it a personal attack. The problem is that most people seem to take it that way, and instead of simply answering the questions or at least looking into the new information they are being given, they stick their fingers in their ears and refuse to even consider that they might be mistaken. No one wants to hear that they may be wrong about something, but I'd rather someone tell me I'm wrong, than continue to build my spiritual practices/faith on erroneous information/beliefs. still does not change the fact that it is off topic if it is really important make a new post or PM make your point once on the topic and move on
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Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:34 am
If clearing up the misinformation relates in someway (either directly or indirectly) to whatever the thread topic is, then it is appropriate to post it in the thread. If someone is claiming to be an authority on something, or is claiming some sort of "fact" that is based on erroneous information - then it needs to be addressed where others can see. Otherwise others may continue to consider whatever that person is saying is valid, since there is no evidence to the contrary in the thread disputing it. I find it ironic that you can make the following statement, then turn around and make this thread... Quote: ...i got teasd about every breath i took but i go by the saying "suck it up princess" and also "have a cup of concrete and harden the ******** up" I find that people are far too sesitive, yes bullying is a problem and it can get you down but all you need to do is bounce back and smile Me thinks you need to follow your own advice, and not be so sensitive when others ask questions. If one isn't prepared to answer questions about one's beliefs/practices, then one shouldn't be in a discussion/debate forum talking about them.
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Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 12:20 pm
ncsweet If clearing up the misinformation relates in someway (either directly or indirectly) to whatever the thread topic is, then it is appropriate to post it in the thread. If someone is claiming to be an authority on something, or is claiming some sort of "fact" that is based on erroneous information - then it needs to be addressed where others can see. Otherwise others may continue to consider whatever that person is saying is valid, since there is no evidence to the contrary in the thread disputing it. There's clearing up misinformation pertinent to the topic, and then there's just stirring the pot for its own sake. Moreover, there's a point where one should realize you don't know who anyone is on the internet (unless you know them in real life) and take someone's personal claim of authority with a grain of salt. That requires reasoning and proper, general internet education and not witch hunts. I will concede there are times when discussing a minute detail is important, especially in debates where layman definitions and jargon may mean different things. There are also times where a word can also go deeper into a meaning beyond even the jargon, a "jargon within jargon" if you will. I'm guilty of taking that to extremes sometimes, as you can see in threads here. Quote: I find it ironic that you can make the following statement, then turn around and make this thread... Quote: ...i got teasd about every breath i took but i go by the saying "suck it up princess" and also "have a cup of concrete and harden the ******** up" I find that people are far too sesitive, yes bullying is a problem and it can get you down but all you need to do is bounce back and smile Me thinks you need to follow your own advice, and not be so sensitive when others ask questions. If one isn't prepared to answer questions about one's beliefs/practices, then one shouldn't be in a discussion/debate forum talking about them. I don't see how his quoted comment even has weight to the current conversation. If anything, it illustrates how some people get attacked over everything whereas others will always find a reason to attack another person. It's not about sensitivity in this topic, it's about civility. Besides, religion is a very sensitive issue anyway. In a perfect world it wouldn't be. Does that give someone carte blanche to scrutinize another's beliefs because someone said they followed a faith? You're going to need major empirical evidence to bring to the table for that. Most established religions can't even settle on one issue pertaining to some of their core beliefs based empirical evidence, so to say someone can question such beliefs because of a "say so" is just as flimsy as someone claiming to be a High Priestess of Transformer Wicca.
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Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:42 pm
ncsweet If clearing up the misinformation relates in someway (either directly or indirectly) to whatever the thread topic is, then it is appropriate to post it in the thread. If someone is claiming to be an authority on something, or is claiming some sort of "fact" that is based on erroneous information - then it needs to be addressed where others can see. Otherwise others may continue to consider whatever that person is saying is valid, since there is no evidence to the contrary in the thread disputing it. I find it ironic that you can make the following statement, then turn around and make this thread... Quote: ...i got teasd about every breath i took but i go by the saying "suck it up princess" and also "have a cup of concrete and harden the ******** up" I find that people are far too sesitive, yes bullying is a problem and it can get you down but all you need to do is bounce back and smile Me thinks you need to follow your own advice, and not be so sensitive when others ask questions. If one isn't prepared to answer questions about one's beliefs/practices, then one shouldn't be in a discussion/debate forum talking about them. duh, IF IT IS ON TOPIC. and i guessed people would use there common sense when asking question not going off the tree with out knowing the persons story. and when "questioned" people should be nice because it polite. and if you are hear to talk about your religon don't get angery when some one does not believe in what you believe, thats why it is religon.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:42 am
I'm going to be blunt. All I've seen here so far that fits what you're talking about stems from one thing. Someone will say something incorrect, one or two people will correct it in passing, and then others will drag the thread completely off topic by reacting, generally bombastically, against the corrections.
I'd say, if anything, it's more a feature of those who can't take correction in stride, or even under advisement than it is a feature of those who correct people.
In short, if someone is corrected on something, but disagree with the correction or want to know the reasoning behind it, why not PM the people who issued the correction to stop the thread from being derailed?
Regardless, if you ask me it's better if it's corrected in the thread so that more may learn from the correction than just the original person.
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Posted: Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:51 pm
Cyrus the Elder I'm going to be blunt. All I've seen here so far that fits what you're talking about stems from one thing. Someone will say something incorrect, one or two people will correct it in passing, and then others will drag the thread completely off topic by reacting, generally bombastically, against the corrections. I'd say, if anything, it's more a feature of those who can't take correction in stride, or even under advisement than it is a feature of those who correct people. In short, if someone is corrected on something, but disagree with the correction or want to know the reasoning behind it, why not PM the people who issued the correction to stop the thread from being derailed? Regardless, if you ask me it's better if it's corrected in the thread so that more may learn from the correction than just the original person. I agree that it's better correcting it in the thread, especially if the correction is in need of correcting. If it's in PM there wouldn't be anyone to offer that second correction and so on cool
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Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:39 am
Cyrus the Elder I'm going to be blunt. All I've seen here so far that fits what you're talking about stems from one thing. Someone will say something incorrect, one or two people will correct it in passing, and then others will drag the thread completely off topic by reacting, generally bombastically, against the corrections. I'd say, if anything, it's more a feature of those who can't take correction in stride, or even under advisement than it is a feature of those who correct people. In short, if someone is corrected on something, but disagree with the correction or want to know the reasoning behind it, why not PM the people who issued the correction to stop the thread from being derailed? Regardless, if you ask me it's better if it's corrected in the thread so that more may learn from the correction than just the original person. i said that lol (nice avi)
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 2:11 pm
It is definitly people who cannot take correcting that start the arguements. The are ignorant fluffs, right? I think that's the term =^_^= And see there you go. There's an example. If I said that and were totally wrong someone could correct me and I could either A. Bite their head off and tell them "NO I'm right!" Or B. Say "Oh yea XP. Thanks for telling me" I would react B. I do not like confrontation, but I will if I must.
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 5:48 pm
I still have to say in private if it doesn't contribute to the conversation, though I'm happy we all can agree there's a time and place for it.
There's a difference between:
Person A: My favorite type of pie is cherry pie. What's yours?
Person B: Actually I don't like pie. I do, however, like chocolate chip cheesecake.
Person C: Actually, cheesecake can be a type of pie.
and this:
Person A: My favorite type of pie is cherry pie. What's yours?
Person B: Actually I don't like pie. I do, however, like chocolate chip cheesecake.
Person C: Only the Grecian pastry chefs make cheesecake. Chocolate chip cheesecake can't exist.
For me, it's like screaming across a room that a person's fly is unzipped (and that's just assuming the second scenario has merit). It just makes things awkward and provokes arguing instead of debate or discussion.
But now I'm beating a dead horse, so if you'll excuse me I'm going to look at cheesecake recipes. biggrin
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